Sonnets

poetinahat

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Hi all -- didn't know whether a sonnet thread would work on a line-by-line basis like the excellent limerick thread. But I thought I'd like to explore the form a bit. Join in, criticise, whatever.... Here's my first shot.

Goodbye
Deliver us from cold, shared loneliness;
Between us, passions wild no longer flare.
The metronomic, tortured march of time
Reminds me that we two are doomed, unless
We sunder now the promise in despair
Made in our courtship: permanent, sublime,
That life and death would both themselves expire
Before the incandescence of love's fire.
It's terrible to watch a creature die
Worse still to starve another to prolong
The first one's capability to cry
Where once abounded beauty in its song.
Let's part right now, while we can yet recall
The glow and comfort of past joy at all.
 

Pat~

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Ouch. Beautiful, but so sad it hurts.

Okay, so how will this thread work? Maybe you could start by reviewing the 'rules' for writing a sonnet?
 

poetinahat

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pb10220 said:
Ouch. Beautiful, but so sad it hurts.
Thank you!

pb10220 said:
Okay, so how will this thread work? Maybe you could start by reviewing the 'rules' for writing a sonnet?
Grand idea - I'll put something together over the weekend (it's Friday afternoon now). There are a number of traditional rhyme schemes for sonnets, so I'll keep it simple.

Watch this space....
 

Cathy C

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What the heck -- sounds like fun! I haven't written poetry in years, but here's one I wrote back then.

THE ROBIN

Praise not the eagle, with his talons bared and his vicious cry
The robin is his prey, blameless though it be
Yet in wait for the defenseless creature will he lie
And the darling robin shalt never see

Thy sordid claws seem yet, less severe
As thy wings spread through the free, soft air
Sailing gently o’er the plains far and near
As though thou hath no worry nor hath no care

Thy crimon talons gleam in the morning sun
Poor robin on the ground, thy heart’s blood nearly spilled
Oh, foolish eagle! What hath thou done
That to end it pain, it wishes it might be killed.

Yet, this too shalt pass, for thy wounds will heal and thy scars fade
And once more then thou wilt be free, to face new challenges not yet staid.

*********
We were working on imagery at the time, and I used the eagle as love gone wrong, and the robin as mankind. You'll have to pull out the BIG dictionary for the last word! LOL! I had to dig down to about definition 9. :D