Ketchup overdose has restraunt owners pissed XP

LOG · Dec 3, 2009

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nations_fast_food_patrons_no

I think it's hilarious and I'll keep eating at my fast food places, but then, the only time I eat ketchup is with corn dogs ^.^

lucidzfl · Dec 3, 2009

JJM said:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nations_fast_food_patrons_no

I think it's hilarious and I'll keep eating at my fast food places, but then, the only time I eat ketchup is with corn dogs ^.^

I know its the onion and all, but I'm surprised it hasn't already been done. (Banning self dispensers)

People, for the most part, are loathsome, obese, disgusting, self indulgent creatures, and it would not only curb costs and save waste, it might save WAIST.

(omg, see what I did?)

Shadow_Ferret · Dec 3, 2009

lucidzfl said:
(omg, see what I did?)

You got ketchup all over your post?

ad_lucem · Dec 3, 2009

lucidzfl said:
I know its the onion and all, but I'm surprised it hasn't already been done. (Banning self dispensers)

People, for the most part, are loathsome, obese, disgusting, self indulgent creatures, and it would not only curb costs and save waste, it might save WAIST.

(omg, see what I did?)

They do that at our local Burger King. I swear, it's like condiment rationing. If you try to get more packets I get the sense that your name goes on some sort of monitoring list.

They even post multiple signs around the building regarding the condiment and napkin policies like a Ten Commandments of consumables.

One time, I took my kids there for a quick breakfast. One of their meals came with syrup, but the staff forgot, so I went back to get it. Twenty questions and some receipt scrutinizing later, I got the syrup.

The Burger King is a tyrant when it comes to condiments, man.

bettielee · Dec 3, 2009

Trust Americans with ketchup and mustard?

Sooner trust my cat with a can of tuna and a can opener.

And a pair of opposable thumbs.

You've had it too good for too long, America. The fast food gods say No! No ketchup for you!

ishtar'sgate · Dec 3, 2009

Not dispensing my own ketchup would have been a great idea when I was a kid. In my aunt's formal, very formal, diningroom. I had to have ketchup. Couldn't get it out of the bottle (Heinz, of course). Shook it too vigorously. Ketchup on me, the table, the drapes behind the table, the person beside me....

KTC · Dec 3, 2009

Can't find the funny here.

"However, after watching the way you disgusting people behave when entrusted with a little independence, it's clear that we made a terrible mistake."~~McDonald's CEO James A. Skinner

That's enough right there for me to give the fuckyouverymuch wave. Nobody talks to me like that and continues to get my business. If I were American, I'd be seeing about starting a revolt. A boycott of McDonalds...and letters to the CEO telling him why the boycott is happening. A CEO said that?! I find it appalling.

Sweetleaf · Dec 3, 2009

That's hilarious! :ROFL:

KTC · Dec 3, 2009

overtired said:
That's hilarious!

You're just saying that to undermine me.

bettielee · Dec 3, 2009

I find the funny in that there is no funny.

The CEO's of our fatmakers disallowing us KETCHUP? Are they serious?

Ketchup is the crack of the condiment world.

Everyone will slowly be weened off it, and next thing you know, Subway Sandwich, here we come. We'll all be like Jared.

semilargeintestine · Dec 3, 2009

I love ketchup.

That is all.

Susie · Dec 3, 2009

Me, too. I say, "Let 'em eat :Cake!"

rhymegirl · Dec 3, 2009

Hmpff!

I'll just bring my own ketchup bottle with me. That'll show 'em!

LOG · Dec 6, 2009

Aaaaaah, but the funny is not to be found in the article, the funny is to be found in the responses to the article.

BenPanced · Dec 6, 2009

ishtar'sgate said:
Not dispensing my own ketchup would have been a great idea when I was a kid. In my aunt's formal, very formal, diningroom. I had to have ketchup. Couldn't get it out of the bottle (Heinz, of course). Shook it too vigorously. Ketchup on me, the table, the drapes behind the table, the person beside me....

Anticipa-ya-shun...

jodiodi · Dec 7, 2009

I think it's hilarious satire. The humor comes from the fact that as outrageous as it is, it sounds like something someone would do.

I loves The Onion!

KTC · Dec 7, 2009

Assauer said:
Ketchup is a vegetable.
and we all need our vegetables!

(I learnt this in skhool)

Tomato is a fruit...which makes ketchup ALMOST a fruit, not a vegetable.

Priene · Dec 7, 2009

I have a phobia about ketchup. Even the name (ketchup, ketch...UP) sounds like a cruel death under foreign skies.

LOG · Dec 7, 2009

Priene said:
I have a phobia about ketchup. Even the name (ketchup, ketch...UP) sounds like a cruel death under foreign skies.

...it does...?

Priene · Dec 7, 2009

LOG said:
...it does...?

No, you're right. It's more like vile, stinking, disgusting, humiliating, torturous slaughter at the brutal hands of pitiless killer with slimy fingers and bad breath.

LOG · Dec 7, 2009

A phobia towards ketchup...what do you even call that?

Ambrosia · Dec 8, 2009

KTC said:
Can't find the funny here.

That's enough right there for me to give the fuckyouverymuch wave. Nobody talks to me like that and continues to get my business. If I were American, I'd be seeing about starting a revolt. A boycott of McDonalds...and letters to the CEO telling him why the boycott is happening. A CEO said that?! I find it appalling.

If it was real instead of satire, I would be adopting your wave. Oh wait. McDonald's? I already do.

And, Kevin, shouldn't you be packing?

benbradley · Dec 8, 2009

Everyone knows this is going to lead to hoarding of those little condiment packets.

And then there will be the entrepreneur who will buy a big box of ketchup packets at Sam's Club and sell them outside the door for 50 cents each, until the manager finds out.

regdog · Dec 8, 2009

KTC said:
Tomato is a fruit...which makes ketchup ALMOST a fruit, not a vegetable.

Not according to the Reagan Administration. Tomatoes were classified as a vegetable, so ketchup could be considered a serving of vegetables in school lunches.

And that isn't from The Onion but US history :e2smack:

Ketchup overdose has restraunt owners pissed XP

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