Smotherly love

Sometimes my sister-in-law makes me look good.

My oldest son was in town doing a concert. In a rather unusual venue. An indoor skateboard park was trying something new: having a series of bands play right in the skate park. Two of my other kids and my nephew went to the concert.

While they're hanging about in the tour bus between sets, my sister-in-law phones her son. She's worried. Watch out dear. It could be such a rough crowd. Poor guy has to field this call while hanging out with two of the bands. My kids are in stitches.

My nephew is just shy of 22, strongly built, and is the kind of laidback guy who never attracts fights. Most of the people at the park are teenagers. He could squash most of them with one hand.

This is the same sister-in-law that warned my kids when they were small not to put their hands out the car window. So that kidnappers would not be able to grab them.

For some strange reason, they think she's insane.

LOL. I really don't think she was trying to humiliate him. She thinks that's perfectly normal. Her mother (my MIL) thinks cell phones are wonderful because that way the kids can phone home to let their parents know that they've finished their classes (at university) and are now driving home. I was flabbergasted. "But they're adults!"

Italian culture or something.

Bettielee, my son's band is called Never More Than Less. They're not exactly international stars or anything, but they're way beyond garage band status. You can find them all over the internet. I'm sorry to say, I'm not cool enough to enjoy their music, a cross between metal and punk. So no, I wasn't cool enough to go to the concert myself.

Mela, I'm not surprised you only lasted a few months. Oy.

Jo, the cops? And they went along with this?

My father specifically told me that he raised his kids to be able to do without him, so I have a lot of trouble understanding this hover mentality. Although he broke his own rule once... We were on a family ski trip and one of the guys from his office was with us. The young guy. The womanizer. Said young guy decides he wants to go pubbing after a day on the slopes (he also seemed to possess unlimited energy) and asked me if I wanted to go. I was only 18, but I'd been away from home for the better part of a year and had gotten quite accustomed to running my own life. I opened my mouth to answer but my father got there first. "She's not going." I was a little miffed, but seeing as I had been planning on saying no anyway, I let it pass. This after he let me spend the summer in Europe on my own. Go figure.

Backslash, I'm afraid I said no to the professor... But I will confess to dating grad students at that age.

Kate, that thought kind of crossed my mind too. On the other hand, I have seen him stand up to her. But he's very low-key about it, like his father. And to be fair, they're lovely kids, so she must be doing something right. But realistic risk assessment has never been her strong point... LOL

I would cheerfully pile advice on my own (adult) kids, but I do recognize that if they haven't asked for it, I'm more likely to make them want to go in the opposite direction, so I try to keep my mouth shut. I usually succeed. They probably only notice the times I fail. Oh well.

Interesting link there, Ben. In the case of my SIL, I really don't think she's trying to embarrass her kids. She's just clueless, not vicious. And I think her kids put up with the cluelessness because they recognize how much she really does care about them. Not that I've asked them outright.