If a joke is funny once, keep telling it.

Since "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" was such a hit, the publisher has commissioned "Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters." Apparently the market needs not one, but an entire library of Jane Austen monster mashups. This is clearly a great idea, because if a concept is original, doing it a second time will clearly be twice as original. A publisher also bought a zombie Beatles bio called "Paul is Undead."

This has something to do with the idea that there is a "next vampire," which will yield the next blockbuster book, akin to "Harry Potter" or "Twilight." The "next vampire" may or may not be werewolfs, zombies, pirates, steampunks, ninjas or Sarah Palins.

We're also getting a wave of authorized continuations of the work of dead authors. There's a new Sam Spade novel, a new Hitchhiker's Guide, a new Wheel of Time. Because in these recessionary times, robbing graves seems less inappropriate.

Fortunately I'm here to help. If anyone is interested, I am available to write any or all of the following sequels and mashups:

A Farewell to Arms and Legs and Torsos and Brains
Rabbit, Run Away From The Zombies
The Naked and the Undead
Afterlife on the Mississippi
The Beautiful and Damned II: Revenge of the Damned
Ethan Frome The Black Lagoon
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close To A Zombie
Salem's Lot II: Lots More Salem
Beowerewulf
A Tale of Two Cities Destroyed by Godzilla
Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Zombie
The Holy Bible: Now With 50% More Vampires

RainyDayNinja said:

I read P&P&Z when it first came out, but I didn't like it that much. I could only make it through about a third of the original, and even zombie attacks couldn't make that story interesting to me. Also, some of the additions were over the top, like a certain character ripping out a man's still-beating heart and taking a bite out of it. But S&S&SM is by a different author, so I'm going to cross my fingers and hope he does it better.

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Well, the first guy came up with the idea. And it's a very good idea. For one book. But then it's a joke that is exhausted. It doesn't create a new mashup genre.

The new book is, by default, worse than the original because it's not this author's idea. He's like a comedian who is doing somebody else's material. Well, morally, he's better, because the publisher was looking for somebody to write this and he took the gig; man's got to eat. But still, the joke has been told, and a second Jane Austen/monster mashup has no reason to exist. If he's got a great idea for a story about sea monsters set in Victorian England, he should just write that.

Why did I get bounced to the OT forum?

scarletpeaches said:

And probably never will be.

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The world will be poorer for not having "The Dicklick Papers."

bettielee said:

It was the best of times if you were a zombie. It was the worst of times if you had a brain worth munching.

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I don't think zombies have any fun, or becoming a zombie wouldn't be such a terrifying prospect.

The zombie lifestyle would certainly simplify things.