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StoryG27
11-13-2009, 02:20 AM
My 10 yr old son came home with a black eye today because some kid punched him.

My 12 yr old daughter came home and told me her male gym teacher (who has been reprimanded in the past) said that boys were built for strength and sports and girls were made to cook, clean, and carry babies.

Seriously?



Here's the long of it:

My son told some annoying girl to stop raking her finger nails down the bus seat. She didn't so he pushed her hand off the seat. Then a boy, apparently her boyfriend, punched my son in the face. My son didn't tell the bus driver. He said it didn't hurt much, mainly, it just made him mad and it took everything he had not to hit the kid back. So now I don't know what to do about that. Since he didn't tell, I'm not sure there is much we can do unless it happens again, and if it does, I told my son he has every right to defend himself but he'd better not start it.

My daughter said this teacher is always saying stupid things. There were two other PE teachers in the room when he said it, and the other male teacher laughed (I guess he is usually pretty cool though) and the female teacher glared at them both. My daughter said all the students gasped when he said it, even the boys. I tried emailing the principal, but their link on the site isn't working, so I guess I'll be calling or emailing tomorrow.

What a day for education. I'm gonna go grab a bag of frozen peas for my son's face and take my athlete of a daughter to soccer practice.

I need a pina colada.

Seriously.

scarletpeaches
11-13-2009, 02:22 AM
I'd soon teach that ignorant git girls aren't made for strength with a kick in the nuts.

(The teacher, not your son).

KTC
11-13-2009, 02:25 AM
The son...don't know what to say. It sucks...but the issue you have with your daughter's teacher is making me so mad that it lessens the issue with your son. That teacher has to shut his fracking face...and now. What the hell is that about?! I'd be going to the office tomorrow morning and DEMANDING something be done about it. What a toolbox. And the male teacher who laughed? Just as bad. He could have corrected the other asshat.

StoryG27
11-13-2009, 02:26 AM
I'd soon teach that ignorant git girls aren't made for strength with a kick in the nuts.

(The teacher, not your son).
Oh trust me, I am tempted. I wish I could let my daughter do it, she is being considered for the olympic development team in soccer, so she's got a helluva kick. Better than mine.

Wayne K
11-13-2009, 02:29 AM
I told my 12 year old nephew very bluntly yesterday that people can be assholes, and to think for himself.

Get this, he's ridiculed by fat kids openly for being skinny.

Me: Explain to them that they are fat.
My sister: Then he will be suspended.
Me; WTF?

StoryG27
11-13-2009, 02:30 AM
The son...don't know what to say. It sucks...but the issue you have with your daughter's teacher is making me so mad that it lessens the issue with your son. That teacher has to shut his fracking face...and now. What the hell is that about?! I'd be going to the office tomorrow morning and DEMANDING something be done about it. What a toolbox. And the male teacher who laughed? Just as bad. He could have corrected the other asshat.
I can't believe TWO other teachers were in there and did nothing. It seems the children, male and female alike, were the only ones who really knew what an arse the teacher had just made of himself. How is this tolerated in school? Yeah, I'm definitely more peeved about what happened with my daughter than my son. At least with my son, it was a kid acting like a kid, not a teacher who I turn my child over to every day.

StoryG27
11-13-2009, 02:36 AM
I told my 12 year old nephew very bluntly yesterday that people can be assholes, and to think for himself.

Get this, he's ridiculed by fat kids openly for being skinny.

Me: Explain to them that they are fat.
My sister: Then he will be suspended.
Me; WTF?
You sister is right. The one who retaliates is always caught and punished. It seems defending oneself is equally as reprehensible as attacking another. This I learned last year. I told my son if the kid lays a hand on him again, to go ahead and defend himself and accept the consequences. With my daughter, she knows the teacher is an idiot, but still, no loser should get paid to spew that kind of stupidity and sexism to young kids.

scarletpeaches
11-13-2009, 02:37 AM
I am available for hire, barehanded.

Just point me in the right direction and tell me which of the bastids said Colin Farrell was a jessie.

MsGneiss
11-13-2009, 03:30 AM
In the case of your son, he did the right thing. I think he handled it appropriately, and that's quite a bit of maturity for a 10 year old. Seriously. I wouldn't do anything about this, just advise him to stay away from that girl and her boyfriend (when did 10 year olds start having boyfriends? sigh). Hopefully it won't happen again.

In the case of your daughter, I think it won't take a considerable effort on your part to get that @#$%^& fired, and the sooner the better. Make a record of each incident, document it well, file a complaint immediately, get together with other parents... lawsuit!

P.S. Where do you live?

semilargeintestine
11-13-2009, 03:34 AM
I had my first "girlfriend" at 10, but I didn't punch anyone over her.

JoNightshade
11-13-2009, 03:35 AM
My daughter said this teacher is always saying stupid things. There were two other PE teachers in the room when he said it, and the other male teacher laughed (I guess he is usually pretty cool though) and the female teacher glared at them both. My daughter said all the students gasped when he said it, even the boys. I tried emailing the principal, but their link on the site isn't working, so I guess I'll be calling or emailing tomorrow.

So, obviously I'm just reading this on the internet and there's no way I can know the entire situation - and if the teacher really meant it, he's an ass. Even if he didn't mean it, he's still stupid for saying it. And the fact that he's been reprimanded before probably means he's an ass. ;)

HOWEVER I am just wondering if there's any chance he was just being sarcastic? 12 year olds aren't really known for their subtlety, and often they take things literally when adults are just fooling around. I say this because this sounds exactly like something my husband would say tongue-in-cheek. Sometimes people don't realize he's kidding. But the truth is he just has a very wry sense of humor.

MsGneiss
11-13-2009, 03:39 AM
Get this, he's ridiculed by fat kids openly for being skinny.


Wow. That is really really really sad. And wrong. On so many levels.

bettielee
11-13-2009, 03:45 AM
I would have your son tell the fat kid "Why don't you pick on someone your own size?"

(even though - I am usually on the fat kids side.... I mean, we know better!!)

lucidzfl
11-13-2009, 03:57 AM
I wouldn't worry much about the gym teacher. The guy sounds like a fire breathing stereotype and there's a reason gym teachers are universally reviled and ridiculed.

This will build character for both your kids :)

James81
11-13-2009, 04:11 AM
As for your son, gotta be honest, it kinda sounds like he started it. Not that he deserved to get punched in the face (he absolutely did not), but he's the one who made first "contact" by pushing her hand off the seat.

As for the gym teacher....:rofl: what an idiot.

escritora
11-13-2009, 04:12 AM
He pushed the girl's hand away because she was being annoying. Not a very good reason to put his hands on someone else. Then he doesn't raise his hands when punched in the face by her boyfriend. A time when there is definitely justification for him to get physical. That's the discussion worth having with your son.

mscelina
11-13-2009, 04:22 AM
Hey SG--which school is it? (PM me or rep point me) I know pretty much the entire Montgomery County school board and a lot of the principals, vice-principals etc. (A lot of teachers too)

I would take my daughter to school tomorrow morning and demand the gym teachers (all three) be called to account for their actions. Why call the other two you may ask? Corroboration, especially the female teacher. Demand that the male pig teacher be reprimanded for his comments and behavior or you will take it to the school board.

It is not the place of a teacher--any teacher--to be 'teaching' gender roles. I'm not surprised, mind you; I did grow up there. But ideologies like that were supposed to be gone by now and making that kind of comment about what girls are 'supposed' to do? No fucking way. Considering the escapades of some other Clarksville-Montgomery Country teachers in recent years you'd thing the last thing they'd want is another misogynistic hillrat with outdated priorities getting the schools in trouble with the parents. I would take this one all the way.

As for what happened to your son, where in the heck was the bus driver in all this? Another cause for concern IMO--and a legitimate question to ask of the driver in person and/or his supervisor. (My aunt has driven a school bus there for thirty years)

:) Heh. We're definitely going drinking when I come down for Christmas.

James81
11-13-2009, 04:43 AM
I would take my daughter to school tomorrow morning and demand the gym teachers (all three) be called to account for their actions. Why call the other two you may ask? Corroboration, especially the female teacher. Demand that the male pig teacher be reprimanded for his comments and behavior or you will take it to the school board.



I think it's more important that she explain to her daughter that the gym teacher's comments were offbase, out of line, and outright goofy.

You can't shield your children from the ignorance that exists in our world (hell, I saw and heard a LOT of stuff from teachers in my school that would cause people to go into conniptions (sp?), but I came to realize that they were just ignorant and bigoted). But you can teach your children the folly in such comments. And possibly bring it up at the next PTA meeting.

Essentially, going down to the school with both guns loaded probably isn't going to get you the results you desire.

Wayne K
11-13-2009, 04:51 AM
I remember a quote about If you want to see man's true inhumanity to man, go to your local school yard.

It's brutal.

Silver King
11-13-2009, 05:05 AM
He pushed the girl's hand away because she was being annoying. Not a very good reason to put his hands on someone else. Then he doesn't raise his hands when punched in the face by her boyfriend. A time when there is definitely justification for him to get physical. That's the discussion worth having with your son.
This is a good point worth repeating. I thought the same thing, nearly word for word, after reading the original post.

StoryG27
11-13-2009, 05:55 AM
In the case of your son, he did the right thing. I think he handled it appropriately, and that's quite a bit of maturity for a 10 year old. Seriously. I wouldn't do anything about this, just advise him to stay away from that girl and her boyfriend (when did 10 year olds start having boyfriends? sigh). Hopefully it won't happen again.

In the case of your daughter, I think it won't take a considerable effort on your part to get that @#$%^& fired, and the sooner the better. Make a record of each incident, document it well, file a complaint immediately, get together with other parents... lawsuit!

P.S. Where do you live?
We live in TN, near the KY border. I'm not doing anything about my son, I've talked to him and that's about it. I did tell him I was proud he didn't hit the boy back, but I also told him he can't let it go again. Hopefully, he and this kid can just ignore each other the rest of the time.

As for my daughter, I will be at the very least, sending an email to the principal. Normally, her teachers are excellent and I love them, and I've spoke with the principal before and she seems really nice, so I can't imagine she'll approve of this behavior from her teachers.


So, obviously I'm just reading this on the internet and there's no way I can know the entire situation - and if the teacher really meant it, he's an ass. Even if he didn't mean it, he's still stupid for saying it. And the fact that he's been reprimanded before probably means he's an ass. ;)

HOWEVER I am just wondering if there's any chance he was just being sarcastic? 12 year olds aren't really known for their subtlety, and often they take things literally when adults are just fooling around. I say this because this sounds exactly like something my husband would say tongue-in-cheek. Sometimes people don't realize he's kidding. But the truth is he just has a very wry sense of humor.
My daughter was raised on sarcasm and can spot it and give it. I trust her judgment in the matter.

As for your son, gotta be honest, it kinda sounds like he started it. Not that he deserved to get punched in the face (he absolutely did not), but he's the one who made first "contact" by pushing her hand off the seat.

As for the gym teacher....:rofl: what an idiot.
I actually told my son he should have never pushed her hand away in the first place. But he in no way started it. That's just ridiculous.

He pushed the girl's hand away because she was being annoying. Not a very good reason to put his hands on someone else. Then he doesn't raise his hands when punched in the face by her boyfriend. A time when there is definitely justification for him to get physical. That's the discussion worth having with your son.
It was HIS seat she was scratching her nails down, so yes, he did shove her hand away, which I still don't agree with and we've spoken about it. I guess I didn't say it was his seat in the OP, but still, I don't think he should have pushed her hand away. His only retaliation for the boy would have been to punch him back, and I am very glad he didn't. They both would have been suspended.


Hey SG--which school is it? (PM me or rep point me) I know pretty much the entire Montgomery County school board and a lot of the principals, vice-principals etc. (A lot of teachers too)

I would take my daughter to school tomorrow morning and demand the gym teachers (all three) be called to account for their actions. Why call the other two you may ask? Corroboration, especially the female teacher. Demand that the male pig teacher be reprimanded for his comments and behavior or you will take it to the school board.

It is not the place of a teacher--any teacher--to be 'teaching' gender roles. I'm not surprised, mind you; I did grow up there. But ideologies like that were supposed to be gone by now and making that kind of comment about what girls are 'supposed' to do? No fucking way. Considering the escapades of some other Clarksville-Montgomery Country teachers in recent years you'd thing the last thing they'd want is another misogynistic hillrat with outdated priorities getting the schools in trouble with the parents. I would take this one all the way.

As for what happened to your son, where in the heck was the bus driver in all this? Another cause for concern IMO--and a legitimate question to ask of the driver in person and/or his supervisor. (My aunt has driven a school bus there for thirty years)

:) Heh. We're definitely going drinking when I come down for Christmas.
I will PM you. Like I said, most of her teachers are awesome and I love 'em, this is the first real problem I've had with them, and I don't foresee having problems with the principal over this. I really do trust once I bring it to her attention, she'll take the proper action. I want him to apologize to the class and say he was wrong, even if he doesn't believe it.

The bus drivers don't know what's going on on their buses. My daughter has been threatened, was punched once, has been cussed out, and as my son is getting higher in the grades, the same seems to be true for him. I told him he should have told the bus driver, but he just didn't want to be labeled a "snitch" as he said it. He said then he'd make every one out to get him. I didn't even know what to say to that, except to say snitch or not, the adults can't help you if you don't tell them what is happening.

KTC
11-13-2009, 06:15 AM
I think it's more important that she explain to her daughter that the gym teacher's comments were offbase, out of line, and outright goofy.

You can't shield your children from the ignorance that exists in our world (hell, I saw and heard a LOT of stuff from teachers in my school that would cause people to go into conniptions (sp?), but I came to realize that they were just ignorant and bigoted). But you can teach your children the folly in such comments. And possibly bring it up at the next PTA meeting.

Essentially, going down to the school with both guns loaded probably isn't going to get you the results you desire.

You can teach your children AND demand retribution. You must always stand up to shitbags. They cannot get away with their shitbagginess. NEVER. Silence is a crime, in my humble opinion. I would teach my child right...AND storm the school.

Silver King
11-13-2009, 06:16 AM
...His only retaliation for the boy would have been to punch him back, and I am very glad he didn't. They both would have been suspended...
I understand the zero tolerance policy against fighting that some school districts employ. However, had your boy retaliated, two important lessons would have been learned:

1) The aggressor would have been taught that his actions warranted an immediate reaction from your boy.

2) Your son would have learned that he should defend himself, at all costs, regardless of the repercussions the school has in store for him.

As a parent, I would never condone my children being smacked around by anybody, for any reason, least of all because I feared they might be suspended from school if they stood up for themselves.

escritora
11-13-2009, 06:52 AM
I'd like to piggyback on Sk's comments. Since your boy has a black eye, his peers will ask questions. Once they learn that he didn't fight back, he could be a target for bullying. In my mind, there's suspension and then there's SUSPENSION. suspension is worth the cost sometimes.

On a different subject, his teacher will most likely ask what happened. It's a question most would ask to ensure the child wasn't given a black eye by a parent. So whether you bring it up or his teacher does, your son will end up in the principal's office explaining what happened. Suspension isn't in the cards for him, but he may get in trouble for pushing the girl's hand away. This is just food for thought as you make the decision whether or not to bring the situation up to the principal.

Matera the Mad
11-13-2009, 07:21 AM
Somebody female needs to punch that prick teacher in the balls.

Just out of scientific curiosity (and writing research, I really need it lol) how long did it take for the son's eye to darken up?

C.bronco
11-13-2009, 07:24 AM
SG, call the principal in the morning. God Bless.
Hugs.

I always knew, no matter what, my parents had my back.

James81
11-13-2009, 08:49 AM
You can teach your children AND demand retribution. You must always stand up to shitbags. They cannot get away with their shitbagginess. NEVER. Silence is a crime, in my humble opinion. I would teach my child right...AND storm the school.

And the teachers will say whatever they need to say to calm you down and send you away, have a good laugh at you when you walk out, and nothing will change.

I'm not saying NOT to stand up, I'm just saying there is a time and place and to choose your battles careful or people won't take you seriously. A comment like that? Honestly, if it were my child I'd just tell my child that the teacher is an ignorant asshat and that that is not how the world works.

But, let him actually discriminate against my child based on his ignorance, and I'd storm the wire of the schools and demand justice with a vengeance. lol

StoryG27
11-13-2009, 03:41 PM
You can teach your children AND demand retribution. You must always stand up to shitbags. They cannot get away with their shitbagginess. NEVER. Silence is a crime, in my humble opinion. I would teach my child right...AND storm the school. My daughter and most the kids in there know this particular teacher was wrong. Still, I agree, there is no way I'm going to just let it slide because there are idiots in the world she needs to learn to deal with. If it had been a child that said it, I'd let it go as nothing, but a teacher, nope. I expect and demand more from them. And I feel like if I do nothing, I'm just as culpable as the teacher who did it in the first place.


I understand the zero tolerance policy against fighting that some school districts employ. However, had your boy retaliated, two important lessons would have been learned:

1) The aggressor would have been taught that his actions warranted an immediate reaction from your boy.

2) Your son would have learned that he should defend himself, at all costs, regardless of the repercussions the school has in store for him.

As a parent, I would never condone my children being smacked around by anybody, for any reason, least of all because I feared they might be suspended from school if they stood up for themselves.
My son has dealt with bullies in the past and dealt with them well. I am personally proud he did not hit the kid back. I think he didn't do it because he knew he'd get in trouble, and that could mean an automatic dismissal from his sport teams, which he lives for. He did however, tell the kid he'd better never touch him again. He stood up to say it too (he was punched right as he was getting to his bus stop), and he said the kid sort of coward in the seat from him. So I am hoping his words were enough. I did tell him that if he had to defend himself, do it, but don't ever start it, and then be prepared to accept the consequences and that I would have his back if that's what it came down to.

I'd like to piggyback on Sk's comments. Since your boy has a black eye, his peers will ask questions. Once they learn that he didn't fight back, he could be a target for bullying. In my mind, there's suspension and then there's SUSPENSION. suspension is worth the cost sometimes.

On a different subject, his teacher will most likely ask what happened. It's a question most would ask to ensure the child wasn't given a black eye by a parent. So whether you bring it up or his teacher does, your son will end up in the principal's office explaining what happened. Suspension isn't in the cards for him, but he may get in trouble for pushing the girl's hand away. This is just food for thought as you make the decision whether or not to bring the situation up to the principal.
I don't think he'll actually get in trouble for pushing her hand away since she reached across the aisle to scrape her nails down his seat (well, the back of the seat he was facing). He showed me how he did it and it was in no way harsh or too physical. Even though I still think he should have just dealt with it.

I have actually thought of what the teachers and principal might say about his eye. I think that is a discussion we'll have this morning. I really wanted to just tell his principal and teacher what happened more so they could be on the look out for a real fight starting between my son and this boy, but he wants to handle it himself. But like you said, they may ask questions, then he'll have no choice but to speak up about it. So I might just send his principal and teacher a "heads up" email.

Somebody female needs to punch that prick teacher in the balls.

Just out of scientific curiosity (and writing research, I really need it lol) how long did it take for the son's eye to darken up?
It was only about 5 minutes from the time he was hit from the time I saw him, and it was already red and a little swollen. The discoloration was slower, but started showing up within the hour, but after he got home from practice last night (about 4 hrs after he was hit), it had really gotten darker and was a purplish-blueish color.

And the teachers will say whatever they need to say to calm you down and send you away, have a good laugh at you when you walk out, and nothing will change.

I'm not saying NOT to stand up, I'm just saying there is a time and place and to choose your battles careful or people won't take you seriously. A comment like that? Honestly, if it were my child I'd just tell my child that the teacher is an ignorant asshat and that that is not how the world works.

But, let him actually discriminate against my child based on his ignorance, and I'd storm the wire of the schools and demand justice with a vengeance. lol
I guess I have a little more faith in the majority of the staff at the school. I don't think I'll be dismissed, because first off, I'm not going in there pissed off. I have spoken with the principal before and she really seems to have the children's best interest at heart. So I'm not automatically defensive with her. Also, this is where I take my stand. I've let a few things slide with teachers that I have felt have been unfair and unreasonable, this is completely unacceptable. THIS is what motivates me to step in and say, "This cannot happen again." My daughter knows the guy is dumb jerk and not to believe what he says, she knew that before I talked to her about it. But it was wrong, very wrong, and if I do nothing about it, to me, it's like I'm agreeing with him or saying it was no big deal. And this is the battle I choose. My daughter is in her second year at the middle school and they've never had one complaint from me. But he did discriminate. He was showing them some exercises when he said this and was explaining why none of the girls in the class would be physically able to do it (which of course they all did). I'm not letting it go, and I can't imagine I'll be the only parent with the same complaint. I'll approach the principal calmly and hope to have the situation resolved quickly. If it doesn't work, school board, here I come.

Silent Rob
11-13-2009, 04:10 PM
I don't believe I have any children myself, but here's my tuppence worth anyway.

THE SON: I would be proud of the way he handled the situation. In my opinion, the key thing is that he didn't appear as if he was scared of the kid who hit him. That'll mean he won't get bullied by him. I think the fact that he didn't hit him back is great and shows a kind of control and restraint that many adults could do well to learn. I find the suggestion that he should automatically retaliate or be considered some kind of pushover more than a little depressing (especially because it relates to a 10 year old). I think he will have come out that one much better, with significantly more dignity and respect, by acting the way he did.

Just because you don't hit somebody back doesn't mean you can't. It just means you're better than that.

THE DAUGHTER: It's a good thing that, even at age 12, kids are able to question things and think for themselves. I doubt that your daughter's in any danger of growing up thinking that her horizons are limited to the sink and maybe, if she's lucky, the hair salon. I do think putting in some kind of complaint about the teacher is justified - these guys have a responsibility to help kids understand the values that our society is built on and have a duty to think before they speak. If he gets a warning and it makes him consider things like that a bit more carefully in the future then good. Teachers can learn too.

StoryG27
11-13-2009, 04:18 PM
I don't believe I have any children myself, but here's my tuppence worth anyway.

THE SON: I would be proud of the way he handled the situation. In my opinion, the key thing is that he didn't appear as if he was scared of the kid who hit him. That'll mean he won't get bullied by him. I think the fact that he didn't hit him back is great and shows a kind of control and restraint that many adults could do well to learn. I find the suggestion that he should automatically retaliate or be considered some kind of pushover more than a little depressing (especially because it relates to a 10 year old). I think he will have come out that one much better, with significantly more dignity and respect, by acting the way he did.

Just because you don't hit somebody back doesn't mean you can't. It just means you're better than that.

THE DAUGHTER: It's a good thing that, even at age 12, kids are able to question things and think for themselves. I doubt that your daughter's in any danger of growing up thinking that her horizons are limited to the sink and maybe, if she's lucky, the hair salon. I do think putting in some kind of complaint about the teacher is justified - these guys have a responsibility to help kids understand the values that our society is built on and have a duty to think before they speak. If he gets a warning and it makes him consider things like that a bit more carefully in the future then good. Teachers can learn too.
Thanks. This entire post means a lot to me and were things I needed to hear this morning to refocus and keep my mind clear.

JimmyB27
11-13-2009, 05:09 PM
Somebody female needs to punch that prick teacher in the balls.
It would hurt more if a male did it because men are stronger so...

...er...

...never mind.

James81
11-13-2009, 05:11 PM
I guess I have a little more faith in the majority of the staff at the school. I don't think I'll be dismissed, because first off, I'm not going in there pissed off. I have spoken with the principal before and she really seems to have the children's best interest at heart. So I'm not automatically defensive with her. Also, this is where I take my stand. I've let a few things slide with teachers that I have felt have been unfair and unreasonable, this is completely unacceptable. THIS is what motivates me to step in and say, "This cannot happen again." My daughter knows the guy is dumb jerk and not to believe what he says, she knew that before I talked to her about it. But it was wrong, very wrong, and if I do nothing about it, to me, it's like I'm agreeing with him or saying it was no big deal. And this is the battle I choose. My daughter is in her second year at the middle school and they've never had one complaint from me. But he did discriminate. He was showing them some exercises when he said this and was explaining why none of the girls in the class would be physically able to do it (which of course they all did). I'm not letting it go, and I can't imagine I'll be the only parent with the same complaint. I'll approach the principal calmly and hope to have the situation resolved quickly. If it doesn't work, school board, here I come.

I suppose we all have different thresholds on what we consider to be a serious type of offense and what we'd stand for.

In any case, I hope you get it sorted.

StoryG27
11-13-2009, 05:27 PM
My daughter was so grateful when she found out I was sending an email. The email was titled "Unacceptable behavior from a teacher" so I am hoping that'll get the principal's attention. I was very calm and respectful to the principal because so far, I have nothing but respect for this woman and how she runs her school. I am hoping to hear back soon. If not, I'll be calling around lunch time.


As for the boy, he really wants to handle it himself. He is going to ask the other boy his name today and if the kid isn't a total jerk about it and offers an apology for overreacting, he'll pretty much let it go. (Not what I would do, but oh well) My boy even said he'd apologize to the girl for pushing her hand away from him. If the kid is a butthead, my son is going to let the driver and the principal know what happened (even though he doesn't want to). And the one thing I can count on with my son, if he says he'll do it, he'll do it and he'll tell the whole truth. It's so hard because he's getting to that age where he doesn't want his mom stepping in. I get it, it just sort of sucks, yet sort of makes me proud.


I'll let you know when I hear back from my daughter's principal.

rhymegirl
11-13-2009, 06:11 PM
RG, call the principal in the morning. God Bless.
Hugs.

I always knew, no matter what, my parents had my back.

I think you meant SG. We're sisters, so it's a common mistake. :)

tjwriter
11-14-2009, 02:15 AM
He did however, tell the kid he'd better never touch him again. He stood up to say it too (he was punched right as he was getting to his bus stop), and he said the kid sort of coward in the seat from him.

I bet he scared the bejeesus out of that kid when he took the hit, stood up and threatened him. He didn't fall back in tears, which is what a bully would expect.

Teach your son the "You think you're cute or something?" eyebrow arch and then he give it and go back to what he's doing next time some lil heathen is trying to annoy him quite on purpose.

Judg
11-14-2009, 03:07 AM
My 12 yr old daughter came home and told me her male gym teacher (who has been reprimanded in the past) said that boys were built for strength and sports and girls were made to cook, clean, and carry babies.
This is just as bad a putdown of boys as it is of girls. Because there is no higher calling in life than carrying footballs? Oy. (Not that I have anything against football, mind you. I actually enjoy watching it, but it's not exactly the highest on the list of socially useful occupations.)

Dying to hear how this whole thing plays out.

cscarlet
11-14-2009, 07:26 AM
OMG that's horrid!!!!! I'm so sorry... I hope someone talks to the school about what he said. Enough reprimands, and someone has got to let that guy go.

StoryG27
11-16-2009, 05:11 PM
Son's situation has been resolved.
He got on the bus Friday, walked up to the kid and said, "You owe me an apology."
The kid apologized, said he overreacted, and that was that. No one, at least not a teacher or staff member at the school, asked my son about the bruise on his face, and it was laid to rest all with a simple apology.

Daughter's situation is still in limbo.
The principal told me she'd look into on Friday and get back to me today (Monday). I really am trusting her, so she better not be giving me the brush off. At noon, if I haven't heard from her, I will call. If I still don't get an acceptable resolution, I will give her until after school, and then I'm calling the school board.

StoryG27
11-16-2009, 09:44 PM
Okay, update on daughter's teacher.

The principal spoke to the teachers, and the guilty party said he was simply trying to explain how boys and girls bodies are built differently. *rolls eyes* She said he misspoke and it will never happen again, and blah, blah, blah. So I just laid it out on the line and said I could never work around kids because I KNOW I'd say something inappropriate and I'm not asking for his resignation or anything, but unless he apologizes to the kids in the class and "clarifies" what he meant (I think my daughter would enjoy that show), then I'm not going to drop this. So, tomorrow the teacher is supposed to apologize to the class (it's already over for today). So, we'll see. My daughter will know if it happens or not.

quickWit
11-16-2009, 09:47 PM
Are you sure she wouldn't be more comfortable in a home-economics class or something? You know, phys ed can be very physical, and all.

:)

Alpha Echo
11-16-2009, 09:58 PM
HOWEVER I am just wondering if there's any chance he was just being sarcastic? 12 year olds aren't really known for their subtlety, and often they take things literally when adults are just fooling around. I say this because this sounds exactly like something my husband would say tongue-in-cheek. Sometimes people don't realize he's kidding. But the truth is he just has a very wry sense of humor.

Good point. My SO has an extremely sarcastic sense of humor. For some reason (perhaps my own sense of humor), it didn't take me long to catch on, and now I always know when he's not serious. But with his daughter, who is only 5, granted, she doesn't always know when he's joking.

Alpha Echo
11-16-2009, 09:59 PM
Okay, update on daughter's teacher.

The principal spoke to the teachers, and the guilty party said he was simply trying to explain how boys and girls bodies are built differently. *rolls eyes* She said he misspoke and it will never happen again, and blah, blah, blah. So I just laid it out on the line and said I could never work around kids because I KNOW I'd say something inappropriate and I'm not asking for his resignation or anything, but unless he apologizes to the kids in the class and "clarifies" what he meant (I think my daughter would enjoy that show), then I'm not going to drop this. So, tomorrow the teacher is supposed to apologize to the class (it's already over for today). So, we'll see. My daughter will know if it happens or not.

Oooh, good. I look forward to hearing how that goes!

Gretad08
11-16-2009, 10:59 PM
I understand the zero tolerance policy against fighting that some school districts employ. However, had your boy retaliated, two important lessons would have been learned:

1) The aggressor would have been taught that his actions warranted an immediate reaction from your boy.

2) Your son would have learned that he should defend himself, at all costs, regardless of the repercussions the school has in store for him.

As a parent, I would never condone my children being smacked around by anybody, for any reason, least of all because I feared they might be suspended from school if they stood up for themselves.

I was a bit of a goody two shoes in school...(never in trouble, never even had a 'B' on a report card) when all of the sudden I got suspended for fighting. I was 14.

I was convinced my parents would kill me...until my Dad came to pick me up.

Him: "Did you hit her first"
Me: (crying) "No"
Him: "Then stop crying, cause you're not in trouble."
Me: smile

Jcomp
11-16-2009, 11:32 PM
Son's situation has been resolved.
He got on the bus Friday, walked up to the kid and said, "You owe me an apology."
The kid apologized, said he overreacted, and that was that. No one, at least not a teacher or staff member at the school, asked my son about the bruise on his face, and it was laid to rest all with a simple apology.


Wow. I know grown men who wouldn't have been able to handle it in such a grown-man fashion.

brainstorm77
11-17-2009, 12:06 AM
Are you sure she wouldn't be more comfortable in a home-economics class or something? You know, phys ed can be very physical, and all.

:):tongue

Judg
11-17-2009, 01:45 AM
Kudos to your son from me too.

And I too am waiting with bated breath to hear how the teacher fares. I would be half tempted to show up to that class myself.

Like how does cooking and cleaning fit into different body builds? I will grant him that men are not built for bearing babies... ;)