- Joined
- Jul 13, 2009
- Messages
- 2,757
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In the past few weeks, I've had some ridiculous stuff go on. Some of you may know about my dog being diagnosed with cancer. My wife's best friend caught the bridezilla which has made things.... Interesting. EE TEE CEE, EE TEE CEE.
And here is where my story begins... A few weekends ago, there was a wedding party for a friend of my wife's family...
Two different people, outside of our immediate family attended. These were people who my wife had known for years and years.
Person 1: Man who served as our DJ at my own wedding. At our wedding, he got massively stoned and drank an entire bottle of crown royal by himself. He messed up our "down the aisle" song and farked up song after song after that before eventually passing out.
Person 2: Girl who was getting married. She was in her (at the time) "in between time" with her boyfriend (this is the guy she married this weekend, a dude named mole-rat [dont ask]) and hit on everyone in sight at my ceremony. Eventually she hooked up with person 1, smoking pot and drinking. She was kind enough to give a "toast" while we were waiting for the bride's father to come out of the bathroom to give the proper "toast". Embarassment wasn't the word for what came out of her mouth on my loudspeakers.
The end result of our trip to her festival, (and I could include pictures) was the bartenders at her wedding party were about 19 and had never drank in their life.
I asked for a jack daniel's neat and she didn't know what I meant. I responded that it simply meant, whiskey, no ice, in a glass. Once she'd filled in half a glass, I told her to stop.
The rest of everything got hazy.... Ok bullshit. I plain out don't remember. Now, I could justify this, right? I mean, they had screwed up my wedding. Something I'd spent thousands on, and they'd made everyone uncomfortable at. They deserved to be made to feel uncomfortable too!
I took it into my feeble, addled, (forgotten) mind to enact the same punishment. The stories from the way I acted will probably be repeated for years....
Well.. Shit guys, I guess it worked. My wife drove me home. I remember almost nothing of that day. (Ok, really nothing, other than a bizarre argument about pizza)
Also, even worse... When I woke up, I did the old fashioned hair of the dog treatment. For those of you that don't know what hair of the dog is, its an alcoholic's way of saying, started drinking when I woke up.
Now many of you know I have a shit eating personality and a caustic sense of humor. Despite the fact that I never 'really' mean any harm I cause it anyways.
I'm taking this opportunity to apologize to any of you that I've realized I've offended lately.
I'm a jackass, and I'm sorry.
I know some of you guys fell victim to my douchiness during this time ( about 2 weeks ago ) and I'm sorry. I know this isn't the kind of forum where assholes act like assholes, and I'm sorry.
I hope you guys can accept a kinder, more decent lucidz.
And here is where my story begins... A few weekends ago, there was a wedding party for a friend of my wife's family...
Two different people, outside of our immediate family attended. These were people who my wife had known for years and years.
Person 1: Man who served as our DJ at my own wedding. At our wedding, he got massively stoned and drank an entire bottle of crown royal by himself. He messed up our "down the aisle" song and farked up song after song after that before eventually passing out.
Person 2: Girl who was getting married. She was in her (at the time) "in between time" with her boyfriend (this is the guy she married this weekend, a dude named mole-rat [dont ask]) and hit on everyone in sight at my ceremony. Eventually she hooked up with person 1, smoking pot and drinking. She was kind enough to give a "toast" while we were waiting for the bride's father to come out of the bathroom to give the proper "toast". Embarassment wasn't the word for what came out of her mouth on my loudspeakers.
The end result of our trip to her festival, (and I could include pictures) was the bartenders at her wedding party were about 19 and had never drank in their life.
I asked for a jack daniel's neat and she didn't know what I meant. I responded that it simply meant, whiskey, no ice, in a glass. Once she'd filled in half a glass, I told her to stop.
The rest of everything got hazy.... Ok bullshit. I plain out don't remember. Now, I could justify this, right? I mean, they had screwed up my wedding. Something I'd spent thousands on, and they'd made everyone uncomfortable at. They deserved to be made to feel uncomfortable too!
I took it into my feeble, addled, (forgotten) mind to enact the same punishment. The stories from the way I acted will probably be repeated for years....
Well.. Shit guys, I guess it worked. My wife drove me home. I remember almost nothing of that day. (Ok, really nothing, other than a bizarre argument about pizza)
Also, even worse... When I woke up, I did the old fashioned hair of the dog treatment. For those of you that don't know what hair of the dog is, its an alcoholic's way of saying, started drinking when I woke up.
Now many of you know I have a shit eating personality and a caustic sense of humor. Despite the fact that I never 'really' mean any harm I cause it anyways.
I'm taking this opportunity to apologize to any of you that I've realized I've offended lately.
I'm a jackass, and I'm sorry.
I know some of you guys fell victim to my douchiness during this time ( about 2 weeks ago ) and I'm sorry. I know this isn't the kind of forum where assholes act like assholes, and I'm sorry.
I hope you guys can accept a kinder, more decent lucidz.