^_^ love and chocolate

LittleFlowerLei

Reverse psychologist
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 27, 2009
Messages
366
Reaction score
14
hi everyone! ^_^

I'd like to ask advice of the very wise members around the cooler and know how someone knows if they're with the person they're supposed to be with. I know, right? Here goes LittleFlowerLei again, all worried about her soulmate when she's too young to be worried about such a thing.

But the thing about this is that this time I'm not worried, just curious. I've started dating the sweetest guy I've ever met, who never passes up an oppertunity to try and make me believe that I'm beautiful (I still don't believe him, but am starting to.) and who treats me so wonderfully.

One time I told him that I wasn't one of those girls who puts out before she's married (As a premtive measure, letting him know so that if its a problem he can leave before I get too attached) and he's totally okay with it. He tells me that I'm worth it and that he'll wait until I'm ready, no matter how long it takes. He makes me feel all kinds of special and I really love him a lot.

But how does a girl know if the guy she loves is the one she's supposed to be with? Or that he's sincere?

This might sound a little like I'm bragging, and maybe a part of it is. I've never felt this kind of love before, and never been this loved before either. I trust him when he says he'll never hurt me, but I'm just a little worried that he won't want to wait like he said he will.

Any advice?

sry if this is a totally stupid question.
 

Sweetleaf

Momentary lapse of reason
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
Messages
4,558
Reaction score
2,613
Location
At last, OFFICIALLY in the middle of nowhere. But
Oh dude, if I could answer this question I could rule the world.
:Hug2:


Come to think of it, I feel like a hypocrite. I knew within two weeks of starting dating hubby that I would marry him & we've been together nine years and counting. I hate to say something so cheesy, but I really did 'just know'. However I had false alarms when I was younger and thought I 'just knew', when really he was just an a**hole.

I still don't think you can 'just know.' I think you can just 'wait and see'. ;)
 
Last edited:

LittleFlowerLei

Reverse psychologist
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 27, 2009
Messages
366
Reaction score
14
Oh dude, if I could answer this question I could rule the world.
:Hug2:


Come to think of it, I feel like a hypocrite. I knew within two weeks of starting dating hubby that I would marry him & we've been together nine years and counting. I hate to say something so cheesy, but I really did 'just know'. However I had false alarms when I was younger and thought I 'just knew', when really he was just an a**hole.

I still don't think you can 'just know.' I think you can just 'wait and see'. ;)

^_^ I guess you're right, all I can really do is trust that he's not lying to me and wait and see how it turns out huh?
 

Wayne K

Banned
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
Messages
21,564
Reaction score
8,082
I think love is something only you can see clearly for yourself. If he makes you feel special and beautiful marry him or send him over here. Srsly. That means he loves you. It's easy to fall in love, it's special when that person falls in love with you.

Oh, and don't overthink it.
 

MoonWriter

practical experience, FTW
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 31, 2008
Messages
1,017
Reaction score
643
Location
New Orleans
hi everyone! ^_^

One time I told him that I wasn't one of those girls who puts out before she's married (As a premtive measure, letting him know so that if its a problem he can leave before I get too attached) and he's totally okay with it. He tells me that I'm worth it and that he'll wait until I'm ready, no matter how long it takes. He makes me feel all kinds of special and I really love him a lot.

But how does a girl know if the guy she loves is the one she's supposed to be with? Or that he's sincere?

This might sound a little like I'm bragging, and maybe a part of it is. I've never felt this kind of love before, and never been this loved before either. I trust him when he says he'll never hurt me, but I'm just a little worried that he won't want to wait like he said he will.

Any advice?

sry if this is a totally stupid question.

Advice? It's not usually worth what you pay for it, but since you asked ...

I'd be cautiously optimistic about your new love. You told him you wanted to wait until you were married. His response, he'd wait until you were ready, no matter how long it took. Didn't mention anything about marriage here. To me, it sounds as if he may not have taken you seriously or he may think he can change your mind about waiting, otherwise, his response would have been, "I can appreciate that and don't have a problem with it." Hopefully my cynical side is showing - the effect of having grown up with 5 sisters.

In the infatuation phase of a relationship, even rose-colored glasses get fogged up. His words and actions should carry more weight as your relationship develops. A final thought - if you give him the power to make you feel good about yourself (him calling you beautiful, etc.) you're also giving him the power to hurt you.
 
Last edited:

Susie

Thanks, special friend for my avi!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
37,910
Reaction score
46,044
Location
Among the chocolate fairies:)
That's really beautiful and he sounds great. I knew Mr. Susie and I were meant to be because besides being best friends when we kissed it was like the Fourth of July, New Year's Eve and everything good combined. Now 36 years later, we're still feelin' it. :D Much good luck to you.
 

backslashbaby

~~~~*~~~~
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
12,635
Reaction score
1,603
Location
NC
Good luck, sweetie :) Is this the hardest question ever, or what? Ah, early on, just enjoy it and see what develops, imho. Don't worry about labels of any sort.

It's when red flags may creep up that folks get crazy. I got crazy. With age and wisdom, I think I'm better at those red flags, but what to tell a young girl?

Start to worry if he does a lot of things that bother you a lot.

If he doesn't and you enjoy him a ton, there's nothing better than that :) And you'll know it's love if the thought of not having him is nearly unbearable. Just make sure that it's not crazy love - those red flags, you know ;)?

--signed backslashbaby, very in love previously with a guy not good for her