Need Anecdotes re: Energy Vampires

How about the version I call Mr. or Ms. "Everything Is Wrong," or sometimes, "That Won't Work Because..."? I know someone who is like that at least partly because she's perpetually depressed, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with... she always has fairly serious practical problems in her life, such as: being evicted; losing her job in such a way that she can't collect unemployment (e.g., being persuaded to submit a resignation letter when actually she was being laid off); not getting child support, but not chasing after it because she never bothered to get a court order for it; working an under-the-table job that pays so badly she could qualify for food stamps, yet not getting food stamps because they require proof of income, which the under-the-table-job can't provide; etc. (insert relatively serious, intractable practical problem here). She's a single mom dumped by the dad, exactly the kind of person that government programs were designed to help, but she seems to have actually chosen to fall through the cracks (she would qualify for medicaid, but doesn't bother to get it, etc.).

The reason I think of her as sort of an energy vampire is because every piece of good advice you offer her seems to interest her--so you offer more, whenever she needs it, which is every time you see her--but she never follows through, and her life remains terrible. She always responds to advice with something like "Huh, well that would be great... although I can't really do that, because [ludicrous reason that it wouldn't work]." It soon reaches the point where you can sense that if you keep talking to her, you're going to get depressed and a little angry... angry at her, for not trying to make her awful life a little better!

I've known a few people with varying degrees of this odd syndrome. Depression, negativity, what have you. I don't know how to handle it, other than avoiding them or encouraging them to get real help (e.g., antidepressants, counseling, whatever).

Hi. I'm Saanen's mother, and I am addressing this issue at her request:

I once knew a woman who had such a bleak outlook that I could actually feel her bringing me down during her long, drab conversations.

One night we were sitting on her deck and she was sighing and talking very low about someone hurting her feelings and I happened to look at her in the dim light and felt, looking into her very deepset eyes, that if I had the ability I could surely have seen a line of energy pulling my Vital Essence into a black hole of her need!

I know this wasn't literally accurate, but I certainly felt drained after each of our conversations, and finally I began pulling away from her friendship. I continued to feel sorry for her, but felt that it was also important for me to not be sucked dry.

Memories of a Vampire!

I used to work with somebody who we used to jokingly say "sucked the life out of us". Actually, it was no joke. This girl would enter a room and her whole demeanour was negative - shoulders slumped, slouching, whiney voice. She rarely ever said anything positive or constructive. She would complain about everything, including the beautiful home she lived in and the great job she had. Nothing was ever good in her life. And, of course, the conversations were very one-sided and always "me me me."

Even a short time in the presence of this girl would make you feel like you had been drained of all your energy and I did my best to stay out of her company (especially when I discovered I was one of her main topics of complaint and bitching when I wasn't around).

She was the extreme, but I do try not to keep company with moaners, complainers, and those full of negativity. As you say, they are "energy vampires" as well as "positivity vampires," and can easily drag others down with them.

I read a recent story about a highly-successful Internet Marketer who recently passed away. He was at a conference and somebody walked up to the group he was chatting with and started complaining about everything. The marketer simply walked away from the conversation, because he didn't want to be influenced or "drained" by the negativity.

Lisa x

We are all energy vamps at one time or another.

There are some who are very good at what they do and are not as obvious about draining you. They know what they are doing. They consciously take advantage of others and enjoy secondary gain while utilizing subtle mind games to control their "victims". I have one word to describe them..... Pathetic.

Sincerely,
Gehanna

Sibling to an Energy Vampire

Hello! This is only my SECOND post as a new member here!

The energy vampire in my life is my brother, which sucks because you can't get rid of your brother or stop associating with him. He's the "Poor Me" type AND the "I've got it worse than anyone in this entire UNIVERSE" type.

My brother will actually interrupt your sad story to tell you one of his that is "more" depressing. When I give him advice on how to handle his relationships with his girlfriends (ie.: learn to trust the woman you supposedly love) he comes back with reasons as to why he can't or won't do that. He complains of his physical pains, his mental pains, his emotional pains.

I love my brother dearly, however, so I am forced to listen to this and give him as much advice as I can, even though it doesn't really do any good.

I am pleased to say, however, that he is on Zoloft for his depression, and ever since, our conversations are much better, not so depressing, though he still does complain about his ailments!

Hope this helps!

P.S. I am also an energy vampire, though not an extreme one. Hey, at least I can admit it, right? That's the first step, right?

I would add a catagory for "Chronic Trivial Sickness"

Whiners who always seem to have either a headache, a mysterious stomoch pain, an immeasurably slight fever, slight cough or sniffles, or back and foot pains that require somebody to rub them until they feel better.

These people always suffer worst when you are feeling your best. They have never ending supply of wet-blankets to toss upon parties, dates, or any activity that might be considered fun. They take great offense at these two phrases:

"Did you take an aspirin?" and "Take some Pepto Bismol." Because such statements indicate that the speaker really doesn't care about the causeless body aches.

These people also have an absolute inability to conceive that other people might have odd pains of their own. This is because most people don't mention such trivial suffering, but ignore it.