A bluebird wants to burgle my house.

Perks

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I don't know what's going on, but for the past three days, this bluebird (I assume it's the same one and I hope it doesn't mean anything sinister about my sensitivities that they all look alike to me) has been trying to get into my house.

I would write it off to the reflection of the woods in the large kitchen window at the back of the house, but he's also trying to come in through the office (no trees nearby) and the front door.

Cheeky little bastard. I'm quite sure I have very little that he could carry off in his beak. He doesn't look very strong...
 
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My goodness. Perks said 'bastard'.

I've told you woman. Every time you swear a little part of me dies. Are you trying to kill me?
 

BenPanced

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I don't know what's going on, but for the past three days, this bluebird (I assume it's the same one and I hope it doesn't mean anything sinister about my sensitivities that they all look alike to me) has been trying to get into my house.

I would write it off to the reflection of the woods in the large kitchen window at the back of the house, but he's also trying to come in through the office (no trees nearby) and the front door.

Cheeky little bastard. I'm quite sure I have very little that he could carry off in his beak. He doesn't look very strong...
Tell her to knock it off or she'll never get to be a Camp Fire Girl.

00076a80
 

Ken

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... sounds cute, I must say.
Perhaps it's just taken a liking to you and wants to be friends :)
 

StoryG27

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That's okay perks, I have a mocking bird that sits right outside my house and won't shut up. It imitates car alarms, sirens, and everything annoying.

And Perks, between the two us, we are really going to accidentally kill SP today.
 

cray

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my head won't let me read the thread title properly,...



'a bluebird wants to burgle my blouse.'






*giggle*
 

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'a bluebird wants to burgle my blouse.'

God I hope not. I was once dive-bombed by a mockingbird. It hit me in the side of the head, but it would have skewered me straight through the bridge of the nose if I hadn't have turned to ward off the attack.

I was flinchy for five years after that.
 

StoryG27

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Finches won't hurt you, Perks. Not to worry.

:D
Hummingbirds will! When I was a teen we lived up in the mountains in the middle of nowhere and my mom always put out a gazillion hummingbird feeders. EVERY TIME I'd leave the house one summer, this one little monster with blue wings and a yellow belly would dive bomb me. He'd fly way, WAAAAYYY up in the air, then just zoom straight down to me, he'd get so close to my neck, he'd fly through my hair if I had it down. When I asked one of the wildlife peeps about it, he said the bird was putting on a show for me, trying to impress me. BS! That little shite was trying to kill me. I was just waiting to be rushed to the ER with a hummingbird sticking out of my neck.
 

Yeshanu

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In the summer, I have cardinals outside my back window. I also have a clock that makes bird sounds, and the three o'clock bird is a cardinal. The cardinal outside my window had a fifteen minute shouting match with my clock one sunny summer afternoon...
 

Jcomp

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God I hope not. I was once dive-bombed by a mockingbird. It hit me in the side of the head, but it would have skewered me straight through the bridge of the nose if I hadn't have turned to ward off the attack.

Perks, are you Elaine Benes?
 

Jcomp

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Not usually. Did that happen to her?

Yes, but if I have to say that it happened to her my reference is wasted. WASTED I SAY! I'm going to have to request that you email me a complete list of programs, films, songs, sporting events and other pop-culture references that you're familiar with so I can plot my jokery accordingly...
 

cray

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ain't never seen anything like that before.
 

Perks

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Yes, but if I have to say that it happened to her my reference is wasted. WASTED I SAY! I'm going to have to request that you email me a complete list of programs, films, songs, sporting events and other pop-culture references that you're familiar with so I can plot my jokery accordingly...

Lol! I probably have watched only a dozen or so episodes of Seinfeld, but I loved them, if that helps. :)

And don't tailor your jokes to me. Your wit usually makes it worth the wikipedia-ing it takes to get the jokes.

Yes, everyone, I nurture a small crush for our Jcomp. I admit it.
 

BenPanced

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And my attempt at humor continues to be ignored. No. That's okay. I'll just sit here and bleed. Hope you didn't pay too much for the carpet.
 

KTC

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I don't know what's going on, but for the past three days, this bluebird (I assume it's the same one and I hope it doesn't mean anything sinister about my sensitivities that they all look alike to me) has been trying to get into my house.

I would write it off to the reflection of the woods in the large kitchen window at the back of the house, but he's also trying to come in through the office (no trees nearby) and the front door.

Cheeky little bastard. I'm quite sure I have very little that he could carry off in his beak. He doesn't look very strong...

It just means you're going to die before the next fortnight. No worries. Continue as you were...soon enough the blue bird will no longer be troubling you.

Next.
 

backslashbaby

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God I hope not. I was once dive-bombed by a mockingbird. It hit me in the side of the head, but it would have skewered me straight through the bridge of the nose if I hadn't have turned to ward off the attack.

I was flinchy for five years after that.

:roll:

Add that to the bee thing you have going and I'm surprised you brave the outdoors at all!

I once accidentally walked through some dunes that seagulls were using for their babies or mating or whatnot. Total attack. They need to learn to put up signs or something :D
 

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I have bad animal karma. I've also been scratched by a bobcat and attacked by a billy goat. But not on the same day.
 

KTC

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I have bad animal karma. I've also been scratched by a bobcat and attacked by a billy goat. But not on the same day.

Heavens no...of course this wouldn't happen on the same day. That would just be ridiculous.


My daughter was bitten by a donkey and kicked by an ostrich. Thank god she wasn't ass-kicked!
 

Susie

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Aww, I'm jelus. Perks has a bluebird and said bastard. Oops, I did too. :D
Sure hope he doesn't come into your house...
 
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That's okay perks, I have a mocking bird that sits right outside my house and won't shut up. It imitates car alarms, sirens, and everything annoying.

And Perks, between the two us, we are really going to accidentally kill SP today.
I know yous guys love me really.

At least, that's what I tell myself to stop my poor li'l heart breaking.