Decisions, decisions...

It was easy for me. You're more likely to blow a clutch than a transmission.

I had to learn how on the spot in Germany and I hated it, but I pretty much had the hang of it within a couple of weeks (though I was scared of hills until the day we left).

If you were getting a sports car, I would say get a standard, but I don't really see why you would if you have a regular old sedan. But that's just me!

CaroGirl said:

I need to know if learning to drive stick is easy (like he says it is) or difficult.

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It's easy and by my opinion it's better then the automatic transmission. i.e. I don't like automatic transmissions at all. By my opinion a car with automatic transmission is like driving a dodgem, with the only difference: I don't have to put 25 cent into it. For me driving starts with manual transmission. But that's me.

Why don't you ask your husband to teach it to you? It's not hard at all and maybe you'll like it better then the automatic. Then if you still don't like it, you may tell your husband to sell that car and buy an automatic one. Or second option, go to some test drives and if you can't get used to it, you can tell your husband as the universal excuse to buy a car with an automatic, because the manual transmission is not your world.

If you do get a larger sedan, it's probably better to get an automatic.

I think a stick shift is fine for a smaller car, for when you're young, and even makes you a better driver because you have to be more involved. On the other hand, when you get a little older and/or get a bigger car, then most people want an automatic. I drove a stick shift for years, but my last two cars have been automatic. I wouldn't go back unless I was getting a smaller, secondary car or truck.

It's not that hard to learn to drive a stick shift, but it will takes some getting used to (and a patient instructor). The hardest part for most people seems to be starting off (especially if it's hilly); you have to learn how to let the clutch out just right, You also have to get using your right foot for the brake as well as the gas. Once those things are learned, the rest is relatively easy.

It's not hard. I used to teach my pals in 30 minutes - the rest is feeling it and perfecting it.

I like the way manuals handle better, but after driving automatics I find that I like having my hands free on turns and things. I have a back problem so I need automatic now, but sticck shift is fun

My vote, which is solely my opinion, and I freely say that I have little relevant experience with which to back it up: automatic. An ex-boyfriend tried to teach me to drive a standard way back in high shool. I hated it and failed at it. I was young then (a teenager, obviously), and I know that if I couldn't learn to drive a standard then, I could never learn to drive one now, while I'm lounging around in my thirties. I don't know how old you are, and I don't mean to imply that people can't learn to drive a standard at any point in their lives, but I am very doubtful that I could, so my (unhelpful) advice is to go with what you already know, an automatic.

Another thought: Again, I have no idea about this, but is an automatic easier to drive in bad weather? If so, and depending on the weather where you live, that might be another consideration...

Why not compromise and get a motorcycle with a sidecar and let him ride in the sidecar. Bet you'll both agree and get a super car.

For what it's worth, Caro, I prefer the standard transmission. And I didn't find it that hard to learn. A couple of lessons from my father way back when. It comes back really quickly when we've been driving automatics for a few years and go back to a standard.

Our last two have been standards. Cheaper at the purchase, easier on the gas, and we both like feeling like we're actually driving.

Look for a manual car like you/your husband wants, find one to rent and rent it for a weekend or a week to learn on. Have your husband rent it, as he can tell them with a straight face he "just prefers" a manual. A week should be plenty of time to try it out and see if you're not still freaking out driving it. It's money well spent, as you won't be adding the wear and tear of learning to your new-to-you car.

I started driving with a '73 Beetle, and almost all were four-speed manual. I later got a hand-me-down '83 Accord manual and really liked it. Have since had two automatics ('86 Volvo then '91 Toyota Corolla, both bought used) and missed having a manual most of that time (well, the Volvo was 10+ years old but it was a pretty nice car for an automatic). The Corolla's automatic transmission died with only 260,000 miles on it. It was a shame, because that motor was hardly leaking or burning any oil. If it had been a manual I might still be driving it with 300,00-400,000 miles and maybe three clutch changes (which add up to less than a transmission).

But a couple years ago I had enough money to buy what I want, and I got a 2003 Accord (yeah, I liked that '83 Accord) 4-cylinder manual, it's got plenty of power and speed for me, and after a few days it felt natural driving a manual after 10+ years without.

Just remember this Car Talk call where the woman was complaining her clutch only lasted 5,000 miles. They asked about her driving habits, she finally admitted to stopping at stop lights going uphill by, instead of applying brakes, putting it in first and letting the clutch out halfway so it pulled just enough to keep her from rolling back. Don't do that. The clutch should be in or out, and only let it out slow enough so it doesn't jerk you around when starting off in first gear. Anywhere pedal position where your clutch starts grabbing but is slipping, that's when it's wearing.

CaroGirl said:

My husband and I need a new car and, as usual, we can't agree. I want a used car, at least a year or two old; he wants a new car. I want a sedan style; he wants a hatchback. I want an automatic transmission; he wants a standard.

The main bone of contention, and one we can't seem to get past, is the tranny. I've never driven a standard. How difficult is it to learn? Am I doomed to either wreck the transmission with my ineptitude or give up and never drive this car? Be honest. I need to know if learning to drive stick is easy (like he says it is) or difficult.

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I am the worst at learning anything, Caro. I have zero memory retention. I'm hopeless at almost everything. I constantly get lost going to a friends house one city over...and I go to her house every month (ask our mutual friend...I get lost going to Karen's place...I've been there about a thousand times!) I'm hopeless. Hopeless. I can't do two things at once.


Having said this...when I wanted my Jeep back in about 92...I had never even sat in the driver's seat of a standard tranny car. But I wanted to go authentic rugged soft-top red apple standard Jeep with half doors. It just had to be standard. I drove out of the lot in it...having never driven a standard before. After about 3 or 4 days I was a pro. Sure, I had a few stalls on hills, etc...but I figured it out. If I can figure it out...anybody can. I have the IQ of a potato. And the memory retention of a papaya.

Go for the standard. (PS...they're great in Ontario winters too.)

I learned how to drive in an old Ford pick-up that had to be strong armed into third when I was 15. I'm sure you could pick it up in no time. One word of caution though (and I think Charlotte49ers touched on this)...hills. If you live in a hilly or mountainous area, practice starting and stopping on hills before you end up rolling backwards into the car behind you at a stoplight or something. I may have done this once or twice or maybe 10 times in highschool.

Do they still make big sedans with standard transmissions?

CaroGirl said:

My husband and I need a new car and, as usual, we can't agree. I want a used car, at least a year or two old; he wants a new car. I want a sedan style; he wants a hatchback. I want an automatic transmission; he wants a standard.

The main bone of contention, and one we can't seem to get past, is the tranny. I've never driven a standard. How difficult is it to learn? Am I doomed to either wreck the transmission with my ineptitude or give up and never drive this car? Be honest. I need to know if learning to drive stick is easy (like he says it is) or difficult.

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Don't what the heck s/he has to do with cars, unless you're buying one from hir...

charlotte49ers said:

I had to learn how on the spot in Germany and I hated it, but I pretty much had the hang of it within a couple of weeks (though I was scared of hills until the day we left).

If you were getting a sports car, I would say get a standard, but I don't really see why you would if you have a regular old sedan. But that's just me!

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*note: wife of a trucker who's driven standard all his life and the "life" of our relationship.

Standards are actually easier on gas than automatics are and they last longer than automatics for the tranny and engine. It also depends on who's teaching you how to drive stick - if you have a person really good at teaching how to drive stick you'll learn pretty quick (ie: a trucker).

Definitely will blow a clutch before you blow a tranny. However, a lot of clutches will run you in the high hundreds or thousands in money to replace depending on make and model of the vehicle.

We've had a standard Pontiac Sunbird and a standard Ford SHO. Both were pneumatic clutches (makes it more sensitive, most standard vehicles that are from the 90's and newer have pneumatic clutches) which makes it easier to learn, more sensitive and more reactive.

I found the Ford SHO easier to learn stick on than the Pontiac Sunbird.

Caro, before I get to the rest: who is going to be the primary driver of the car? If it is you, get the auto and be comfortable. If him, let him get his manual, but learn to drive it. I learned how to drive stick on a '68 Beetle (it was new-that tells you how old I am). In the past 40 years my hubby and I have only owned one vehicle with a stick. I still like driving stick ( a friend has a 5-speed I drive occasionally), but as others have said, not on hills where you have to stop. For instance, I wouldn't own one in San Francisco . There is also the issue of whether the manual shift is on the column or a stick. I wouldn't own a column manual (known as a three on the tree, as opposed to four on the floor) if you gave it me free.

MM

CaroGirl said:

Thanks for the information and perspectives. It'll be primarily his car, but with 2 preteen kids, logistically, I'll need to be able to drive it. I think part of my issue is a long-standing petulance surrounding the fact he historically gets his way. He's stubborn and I'm kind of easy-going but it's added to up to me feeling like I want to be stubborn on this issue. Probably childish and not worth it, but there it is.

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FWIW, I don't think that's childish at all. I have the same kind of relationship with my husband -- he usually gets his way while I, the easy-going one, just let him. (I save my protests and arguments for the really big things, like issues having to do with the kids.) I would fight him on this one, but that's just my opinion... If you're going to need to drive the car, especially to drive the kids around, the car should be one that you're comfortable with.

Well, my stepfather insisted that I learn to drive a stick shift before I could get my license. (Let's not discuss the fact that I didn't do that until my twenties, mkay?) The first car I ever owned was a standard, and it was really easy to drive. I honestly prefer a standard, but it's hard for me to find one in a minivan, so I drive an automatic now.

One question: how much stop and go traffic? If it's a lot, I'd go with an automatic. A stick is a pain in the hiney when you're constantly starting and stopping. It's hell on the clutch, too.

Driving a stick is a lot of fun...at first.

Then, you decide to go through the drive thru at a dairy queen and get an ice cream and you realize how much of a pain in the ass it can be.

I have no idea how to drive a stick and would be very nervous driving. My husband can, he used to drive trucks for a living. We each have our own vehicle, though he chose an automatic for his, so I can still drive it if I have to.

CaroGirl said:

Thanks for the information and perspectives. It'll be primarily his car, but with 2 preteen kids, logistically, I'll need to be able to drive it. I think part of my issue is a long-standing petulance surrounding the fact he historically gets his way. He's stubborn and I'm kind of easy-going but it's added to up to me feeling like I want to be stubborn on this issue. Probably childish and not worth it, but there it is.

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Heck, I use this shamelessly myself. I'm easy-going about a lot of things too. It's not that I don't mind giving way, I just really don't care what we do one way or another.

So on the rare occasions when something does matter to me, I dig in my heels and point out that seeing as he gets his way most of the time, it's my turn. Usually works.

Having said that, I wouldn't dig in my heels just so I could say I got my way this time. Save it for something that does matter on its own merits. And it makes sense to me that if he is going to be the primary user, his wishes should weigh heavier in the balance. Which doesn't mean that yours should have no weight. Look for a balance point where you both can feel you've been respected.

My first car was an ancient (1971) VW bus. Not only did it have standard transmission, but the idle didn't work. This meant you had to have your foot on the gas at all times or it would stall. If you removed your foot from the gas pedal, the car would immediately stall. If you were in motion when it stalled you could effectively "push start" it by popping the clutch. But if you let it stall at a standstill, you had to restart the car.

The trick was to hold down the clutch with one foot, step on the brake with the toe of your other foot while pumping the gas with your heel. Oh yes, and don't forget to shift gears.

If I could learn to drive that car at 17, I'm confident you can master a new car with a standard transmission.