Feedback on my latest song?

Denial is bliss

I wrote it like 5 seconds ago it is a one shot with nothing to complicated more of a vent but what do you think? :Shrug:
You Were My Life
I can’t remember
If you ever meant the world to me
But now that you’re gone
I know you do
I wrapped your love around me like a blanket
and now that your gone I’m freezing cold
CHOURUS
Baby, when I think about you I can’t breathe (I can’t breathe)
When I close my eyes your all that I see (All I see)
There’s no way I’m going to sleep tonight
Because I can’t deal with seeing your face
Right now
With you gone I have no one to talk to
Don’t make me promise
Don’t tell me I can’t
Cut
I don’t know what else to do
Because
CHOURUS
Baby, when I think about you I can’t breathe (I can’t breathe)
When I close my eyes your all that I see (All I see)
There’s no way I’m going to sleep tonight
Because I can’t deal with seeing your face
Right now
I just want to scream, to cry, to forget
But I can’t
CHOURUS
Baby, when I think about you I can’t breathe (I can’t breathe)
When I close my eyes your all that I see (All I see)
There’s no way I’m going to sleep tonight
Because I can’t deal with seeing your face
Right now
(Fade away)
 
Last edited:

SLake

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You really had an inspirational burst there!

Sorry for this added comment, but it's only about your spelling, which you might want to check -- it's about not the inspirational lyrics. "You are" abbreviated or shortened is "you're," not "your" and there's a few other problem, not to mention "chorus." Sorry, I'm a just a darned writer. Keep up the great lyrics -- love to hear it being sung!