If You Had God's Phone Number, What Would You Ask Him?

Kiester · Oct 9, 2009

Title says it all!

I'd ask him a simple question: Why doesn't anything rhyme with Orange?

bettielee · Oct 9, 2009

What's with the platypus?

Xelebes · Oct 9, 2009

The line is dead?

shyne · Oct 9, 2009

During the great flood...what happened to all the fish?

Wayne K · Oct 9, 2009

Do you grade on a curve?

scarletpeaches · Oct 9, 2009

Screw God; I want Colin Farrell's number.

Look at my avatar - I have my mobile ready!

ejaycee · Oct 9, 2009

"So… What exactly were you thinking?"

Mr Flibble · Oct 9, 2009

Assauer said:
I can hear it now: Thanks for calling God!
for instructions in English, please press 1...

(etc etc etc)

If complaining about an act of God, please hold..........For earthquakes, press one, for tornadoes press two, for lightning strikes press three, for pestilence press four, for all other acts of God, press five.

*muzak*

Your call is important to us, please hold and we'll put you through as soon as we can

*muzak*

You are currently in a queue. Your call is important to us, and may be recorded for training purposes.

*muzak*

If you're still alive, press nine. If you aren't, see you soon.

bettielee · Oct 9, 2009

IdiotsRUs said:
If you're still alive, press nine. If you aren't, see you soon.

**cue guitar music from South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut**

scarletpeaches · Oct 9, 2009

God's answering machine plays Uncle Fucker?

Alan Yee · Oct 9, 2009

Where is my pony? I keep praying for one and still don't have it.

MsGneiss · Oct 9, 2009

I'd ask to be put through to George Carlin.

Drice · Oct 9, 2009

So you're planning to get it on with Mary. And you come up with this hairy notion of immaculate conception? What is wrong with you?

JoNightshade · Oct 9, 2009

I'd say, "Look, I understand if you don't want to explain senseless pain and suffering to me right now. But could you at least promise that it's going to make sense once I get to heaven?"

Or perhaps, "Could you please explain whether Paul's whole 'women should be silent' bit was just in that context or if people are justified in applying it across the board?"

Or, "Is Hell eternal?"

KTC · Oct 9, 2009

Why does everybody automatically assume you're a man, Ms. God?

aadams73 · Oct 9, 2009

Do you ever have days where you don't believe in yourself?

(Speaking of God: for the love of God, please, can a mod fix the thread title? We have a tense problem, people.)

dpaterso · Oct 9, 2009

aadams73 said:
(Speaking of God: for the love of God, please, can a mod fix the thread title? We have a tense problem, people.)

That's the least of this thread's problems.

-Derek

rhymegirl · Oct 9, 2009

Kiester said:
Title says it all!

I'd ask him a simple question: Why doesn't anything rhyme with Orange?

How about door hinge?

orange/door hinge?

Susie · Oct 9, 2009

Why'd I get so old so durn fast.

kayleamay · Oct 9, 2009

Assauer said:
I can hear it now: Thanks for calling God!
for instructions in English, please press 1...

beep.

Our menu's have recently changed
so please be patient as I read through the new directory.

If you'd like to leave a prayer, please press 1.

Requesting a miracle? please press 2.

(etc etc etc)

IdiotsRUs said:
If complaining about an act of God, please hold..........For earthquakes, press one, for tornadoes press two, for lightning strikes press three, for pestilence press four, for all other acts of God, press five.

*muzak*

Your call is important to us, please hold and we'll put you through as soon as we can

*muzak*

You are currently in a queue. Your call is important to us, and may be recorded for training purposes.

*muzak*

If you're still alive, press nine. If you aren't, see you soon.

"Your estimated hold time is seven...thousand...years.

I'd only have one question. Why?

writerterri · Oct 9, 2009

I would ask him if we could start all over.

Alan Yee · Oct 9, 2009

Why did you create so many stupid people?

Silver King · Oct 9, 2009

aadams73 said:
(Speaking of God: for the love of God, please, can a mod fix the thread title? We have a tense problem, people.)

Your prayer has been answered, my child.

DL Hegel · Oct 9, 2009

Alan Yee said:
Why did you create so many stupid people?

so we can have something to complain about silly

rhymegirl · Oct 9, 2009

Is Silver King really God???

If You Had God's Phone Number, What Would You Ask Him?

I love lamp.

I'm a sparkly fairy princess!

Delerium ex Ennui

At your service

knows nothing of your ruined garden

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble

I'm a sparkly fairy princess!

Still Here!

has finally arrived

Stand in the Place Where You Live

A Work in Progress

Also in our Discord and IRC chat channels

It's a New Year!

Thanks, special friend for my avi!

I'm on the phone.

It's a dorky day!

Still Here!

Megalops Erectus

Tigress Tyrant

It's a New Year!