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Sweetleaf
10-05-2009, 09:38 PM
I have hit a low point.

I now have proof that I'm a terrible mother.

Last night, during a particulalry PMS-laden moment, some paper towels rolled off the table and spread themselves out across the entire kitchen floor.

I yelled 'Ah, F@#K!' in an unnecessarily loud voice.

I then heard my three-year-old from lounge say to daddy 'Oh! My mum's calling me! Do you need help, mummy?'

Apparently I say this far too often.

Now I know we've had threads like this before, but anyone else been humiliated because of their children (even if it's really your own fault)?

mscelina
10-05-2009, 09:42 PM
When my oldest daughter was two, I dressed her up and took her to the mall to get her picture taken with the Easter bunny. She looked angelic--she had an adorable little dress and a hat on and her little white shoes with frilly socks. yep. An absolute angel.

So a little old lady came up to us, looked down at my daughter and said in a very sweet voice, "Well, aren't you the pretty thing?"

My daughter looked up at her and said, "Excuse me--did I ask for your opinion?"

I waited for the ground to open up and swallow me whole, but it didn't. I thought I'd reached the apex of parental humiliation--at the time, that was one of my catchphrases so I KNOW where she heard it. But I was wrong. There was a greater humiliation waiting for me.

Two weeks later, on Easter Sunday, the gentleman sitting next to my daughter in church thought it would be funny to hand the little girl the collection plate.

My daughter (no fool she!) promptly took off with it, headed for the door and the dubious safety of the car so she could count her profit in comfort.

So no--you're not alone. :)

LaurieD
10-05-2009, 09:59 PM
The story that comes to mind is one of my mother-in-laws.

My husband grew up on a ranch in West Texas and mesquite thorns in tires are a constant pain in the arse when one drives around the ranch checking water, livestock, etc... One such excursion around the ranch with his father, when my husband was around 3, took them most of the day -- much longer than usual. When thy finally got home, my husband went in the house for a drink and my mother-in-law asked where they'd been, what they'd been doing. To which my husband, towheaded angelic-looking child that he was, looked up at his mother and said, completely cool and nonchalant-like, "Eh, G--dammit and sonab--chin."

It turns out more flats than spare tires whilst still a quite a way from home.


{{hugs for you OT}} It'll be ok.

James81
10-05-2009, 10:05 PM
The only one that comes to mind is one that wasn't even true! lol

My mom gets my kids every Sunday for Sunday school. She used to be their teacher (like a year ago or so), and one day my mom calls me up, laughing, after church.

She told me that she takes prayer requests every sunday from the kids, and they usually just request things like "Pray for mommy" or something simple.

Well, apparently on this morning, my daughter (who was like barely 2 years old) requested prayer for me, and said "Please pray that my daddy will quit drinking."

:roll:

The only reason I can laugh is because I might drink alcohol once every couple of months, and I hardly ever keep beer in my fridge or alcohol in my house. And I've never drank a beer or anything in front of my kids.

I was scratching my head at that one, but I also thought "Dear God, people are going to go around thinking I'm some sort of drunk."

lucidzfl
10-05-2009, 10:10 PM
When I say "Fuck!!" every animal in the house scatters for furniture regardless of if they did something wrong. lol

JoNightshade
10-05-2009, 10:10 PM
Well, apparently on this morning, my daughter (who was like barely 2 years old) requested prayer for me, and said "Please pray that my daddy will quit drinking."

...water, perhaps? Maybe you're a noisy drinker. ;)

jennifer75
10-05-2009, 10:24 PM
I have hit a low point.

I now have proof that I'm a terrible mother.

Last night, during a particulalry PMS-laden moment, some paper towels rolled off the table and spread themselves out across the entire kitchen floor.

I yelled 'Ah, F@#K!' in an unnecessarily loud voice.

I then heard my three-year-old from lounge say to daddy 'Oh! My mum's calling me! Do you need help, mummy?'

Apparently I say this far too often.

Now I know we've had threads like this before, but anyone else been humiliated because of their children (even if it's really your own fault)?

Not really humiliated, but it reminded me of something...

Yesterday I was cooking and burned myself and of course gasped and quietly murmured the F word...

Later on I showed my son my burn mark and said to him, "this is why you don't play in the kitchen..." and he told me "Yea, I heard you earlier." lol

He's seven.

Wayne K
10-05-2009, 10:32 PM
I was the child.

tjwriter
10-05-2009, 10:35 PM
When I was about two or so, my parents took me to church one Sunday where I promptly started singing "Like a Virgin"...

Wayne K
10-05-2009, 10:37 PM
It took me two memoirs to write all the embarrassing things I've done to my parents. I wish I could say I was done.

YAwriter72
10-05-2009, 10:45 PM
When I say "Fuck!!" every animal in the house scatters for furniture regardless of if they did something wrong. lol


That would be me. My husband says I'm the only person he knows who can turn that word into a noun, verb, adjective, adverb and preposition, all in one sentence. LOL Pays to be a writer!!!

Elaine Margarett
10-05-2009, 10:52 PM
Back when Rescue 911 was on TV, the person on screen was having a choking emergency. My son who was three at the time looked at the screen, looked at me and said, "Dog hair, Mom." A totally appropriate assumption on his part given my disdain for vacuuming (and other unnecessary forms of housecleaning).

This same son about this time taught me it was time to clean up my gutter mouth when he asked me if it was, "time to feed the f**king dogs".

Now in my defense, we had a lot of dogs...

EM

Chumplet
10-05-2009, 11:02 PM
My husband took my then two year old daughter for a little sled ride across the street. He thought it would be neat to let her sleigh (the kind with little skiis that you pull behind you) slide down a gentle snow-laden slope.

The sleigh wasn't designed for going down a hill by itself, so it tipped over at the bottom, spilling my daughter into a pile of soft snow.

My husband dashed down the hill, scooped her up and asked, "Are you okay?"

She squinted and puffed snow out of her mouth and said, "Ohhhhh, fuuuuuuck."

Wayne K
10-05-2009, 11:31 PM
For you OT. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwYVqMj5i6k

Kitty Pryde
10-05-2009, 11:38 PM
Observing strangers ruining their children:

My mother-in-law works as a substitute teacher sometimes. Kids, especially troubled kids, really like her and she is great at reaching out to them and stuff. One little first grader in her classroom, trying to win her favor I suppose, came up to her and said, "Hey there, chocolate drop..." in a seductive voice. Then she had to give him a lecture on why he shouldn't call women 'chocolate drop' even though his dad does it, all the while trying not to laugh in the poor kid's face.

lucidzfl
10-06-2009, 12:11 AM
That would be me. My husband says I'm the only person he knows who can turn that word into a noun, verb, adjective, adverb and preposition, all in one sentence. LOL Pays to be a writer!!!

Have you ever seen the "fuck" scene from the wire?

If not, I highly suggest you youtube it.

Its like an entire 3 minute long scene of Mcnulty and Bunk investigating a crime scene, populated ONLY by "fuck".

Maryn
10-06-2009, 12:22 AM
Our son, whose name is Seth, at one time told anyone who asked what his name was that is was "Seffie-dammit." We shouldn't have laughed, because he continued far longer than he might have, even though I made a much better effort at watching my language around them.

Maryn, giddy with relief that she can now talk normally again, since they've grown up

Shakesbear
10-06-2009, 12:38 AM
My sister-in-law and I have large busts. Out shopping one day with her five year old we see a bra advertised as a 'minimiser'. We find what we think would be our sizes and go into the fitting room. This was a curtained off cubicle on the main sales floor. Sis tries hers on first. Sis is just about to attempt to do said bra up at the back when the little one looks up and says in a very polite, but very loud, voice "they won't fit in there!" When we quitted the fitting room all eyes were fixed on our busts.

TabithaTodd
10-06-2009, 01:05 AM
Just recently my 2 yr old (who's still learning to speak in leaps and bounds) repeated a very zealous "F&ck Off" right after mommy.

I was cursing because I can't open a jar worth my life with my sore hands and I was frustrated and yelled out the rather explicit expletive only to turn around and hear him yell it back repeatedly.

He just kept running around all day randomly repeating the F&ck Off that day. To my detriment, hubby was not impressed in the least.

Sweetleaf
10-06-2009, 02:47 AM
My sister-in-law and I have large busts. Out shopping one day with her five year old we see a bra advertised as a 'minimiser'. We find what we think would be our sizes and go into the fitting room. This was a curtained off cubicle on the main sales floor. Sis tries hers on first. Sis is just about to attempt to do said bra up at the back when the little one looks up and says in a very polite, but very loud, voice "they won't fit in there!" When we quitted the fitting room all eyes were fixed on our busts.

This reminded me of an unfortunate habit my 3 yr old had, which I have (hopefully) now broken him of. Luckily he's only done this in front of hubby, but son & I will be having a cuddle on the couch, and he'll suddenly say 'Squeeze your boob!' and do just that.

I have NO IDEA where he got that from. HONEST.

jennifer75
10-06-2009, 09:13 PM
A little off topic...

My son shared with me this morning his "little bit of a sad dream" he had last night.

His dad and I wouldn't let him in the car. We said no, you can't come.

So, how did I diffuse the situation? I told him, "see, I wouldn't say No, I'd say.....maybe."

Kids.

Snowstorm
10-06-2009, 10:26 PM
You're such a terrible mother, overtired. /sarcasm :) :Hug2:

Let's recap: you, under stress, uttered an oath. Your child, hearing your stress/distress, ran to you to help you. Seems to me your child is being raised to be sensitive, helpful, and just sweet.

The only thing to me is your baby highlighted your concern for your language. Always a good thing. Give your little :Hug2: from me.

Snowstorm
10-06-2009, 10:29 PM
Although this does remind me of another sweet child. I was home visiting when my then-five-year-old niece had a flat tire on her little bike. I took it apart, fixed the flat, then we walked to the gas station to air it up. We aired up the tire, and I took her hand to leave.

As we walked across the blacktop to head back, she started screeching in that ear-piercing little-girl voice: "You didn't pay for it, you didn't pay for it!"

kayleamay
10-06-2009, 10:30 PM
I was the child.

I was that child too. And now it's payback time. My kids humiliate me on a daily basis. I can't even pick a favorite to post.

Never fear Overtired, they WILL grow up...and do even worse things. ;)

Old Hack
10-06-2009, 10:41 PM
I was talking with a friend today, who was rather upset, and she swore, very slightly: and then apologised to my 14-year-old son, who was sitting close by.

"It's alright," he said, nonchalantly. "I hear far worse from her every day."

He spoke the truth, bless him.

Devil Ledbetter
10-06-2009, 10:50 PM
My father-in-law was visiting when my husband accidentally knocked a bottle of breastmilk out of the refrigerator and onto the floor. He said "gosh darn it!"

Then our 4-year-old helpfully piped in with "Good thing Daddy didn't say shit!"

herbchick
10-06-2009, 11:22 PM
These have made me laugh! Yes, my children have picked up my bad language AND so has my parrot. And he uses it in context. My husband pushed the chair back that he was sitting on to keep him from jumping on the table. Parrot looked at him and said "asshole." Hubby looked at me and I tried to convince him that wasn't what he said when parrot looked at hubby and said it again.
And now...I tell people that parrot is saying plucker although I know better. ;) You're a little plucker sounds so much better than the alternative.

Williebee
10-06-2009, 11:32 PM
My stepfather's funeral was an event in our family. Example:
I met a step-sister for the first time there. We'd been related for six years by then.

My wife met much of my family (including my grandmother) for the first time, as did our darling daughter, age "almost four, thank you".

After the funeral, the family is gathered at the house. I"m in the other room, about to change clothes, when I hear this exchange between my grandmother and my child:

Grandmother: You're a lovely girl.
Daughter: You're ugly.

Now, my wife is in that room. She's known these people for about... oh... eight hours maybe.

No way in hell am I going out there.

My grandmother, bless her, is to this day a woman with 24 grandkids and about a dozen great grandkids. Mine didn't phase her in the slightest.

My wife, on the other hand, will NEVER forgive me.

:)

TabithaTodd
10-06-2009, 11:32 PM
These have made me laugh! Yes, my children have picked up my bad language AND so has my parrot. And he uses it in context. My husband pushed the chair back that he was sitting on to keep him from jumping on the table. Parrot looked at him and said "asshole." Hubby looked at me and I tried to convince him that wasn't what he said when parrot looked at hubby and said it again.
And now...I tell people that parrot is saying plucker although I know better. ;) You're a little plucker sounds so much better than the alternative.

*lol* My nanday conure swears too. Reminder to those who want to become "owned" by parrots - never let talking birds watch scar face on the first night you get the bird home...

Mine calls the dog an a-hole because the first week we had him (he's flighted, no flight feathers clipped) the dog jumped up and accidents happen - he pulled a tail feather out - since then the dog has been aptly called a-hole ever since.

He says F you, F the day, F'ing Hell, A-Hole...he says other stuff less derogatory as well like my name is kiwi, pretty boy, good boy, I love you, thank you, hello, yes (his favorite word), okay, uh-huh (mimics people talking on the phone and drinking from a glass). He says a full sentence that I've yet to figure out for the last 4 years, I've yet to find out but eventually he may become clearer than that - hopefully.

He mutters to himself and shakes his head too, as if scolding us for some sort of misbehavior.

Quick question? Does your bird have UBE's too? (unidentified birdy emergencies)

MyBrainHurts
10-08-2009, 03:57 AM
My first post... it figures I'd wind up here.

When my son was two, I took him to our local video rental store. (This is before DVDs were big... before Blockbuster... and definitely before RedBox.)

It just so happened that on that day, workers were on the roof re-tarring the building. (Have you ever smelled tar... it stinks!)

Well, my wonderful, unfiltered son did the one thing that all self-conscious women fear. He looked at me with his face all scrunched up and said... (loudly I might add...)

"Hey Mom? Did you fart?" :e2paperba

But does the humiliation end there? NO!

We had taken my son on an airplane, and one of the passengers had a bandana around his head and an eye patch.

Yeah... you guessed it...

"Hey Mom, look! A pirate!"

Luckily, the man was a good sport and let out a playful, 'Arrrrrrrh!'

It just keeps going and going... trust me! But I'll end it there. :)

Emily

Edited: Talking about 'bad birds'... here's a great youtube clip!! This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbKP7Z7-Ryc

Wicked
10-08-2009, 04:09 AM
One day I was staring at the computer, not getting any writing done, and decided to braid my hair in pigtails for no particular reason.
I walked into the kitchen to get a drink and my teenager looks me up and down, then say, "So, are you going to yodel, or are you off to the beer fest?"

***
My daughter is a hard case.
"Mommy, that was a bad word."
"I know dear."
"You shouldn't say bad words."
"I know dear, I'm sorry."
"Don't do it again."

aadams73
10-08-2009, 04:18 AM
We had taken my son on an airplane, and one of the passengers had a bandana around his head and an eye patch.

Yeah... you guessed it...

"Hey Mom, look! A pirate!"

Luckily, the man was a good sport and let out a playful, 'Arrrrrrrh!'


:roll:

Oh dear god, that is hilarious. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying!!

sheadakota
10-08-2009, 04:19 AM
I'm a great mom- my 11 yr old daughter told me "I hate you" at least twenty times today.

Silver King
10-08-2009, 04:19 AM
,,,"Hey Mom? Did you fart?" :e2paperba
When he gets older, he'll learn to say that right after he lets one go.

Welcome to AW, Emily. :)

sheadakota
10-08-2009, 04:23 AM
I was driving on my back country roads with my then 4 and 5 yr old kids, signaled to turn in my drive on the left and the person behind me took my slowing down as his cue to pass me- as I'm turning!

I slammed on my brakes and yelled- You F***ing Idiot!

I realized I said this in front of my kids and apologized- Guys- Mommy just said a bad word

My 4 yr old son pipes up- I know- you said Idiot

aadams73
10-08-2009, 04:23 AM
I'm a great mom- my 11 yr old daughter told me "I hate you" at least twenty times today.

I used to say that too--usually followed by "you're so unfair!"

And my mom was and still is a great mom. So it's not all bleak. :)

Silver King
10-08-2009, 04:30 AM
I used to say that too--usually followed by "you're so unfair!"
My old man used to say, "Hate me today, love me tomorrow."

And man, was he ever right. I used to think he was the world's greatest fool until I realized, later, that he was the smartest and most decent person I'd ever known.

backslashbaby
10-08-2009, 04:34 AM
These are great :D :D

I have a friend whose little girl was two-something when her first 'real' Christmas came around. Her parents were so excited that she understood most of what was going on.

They got the video camera positioned to show the grandparents the tree and all the presents and her reaction when she saw it.

She walks out, still all sleepy; then with huge eyes says, "What the hell is all this?"

pink lily
10-08-2009, 05:32 AM
Now I know we've had threads like this before, but anyone else been humiliated because of their children (even if it's really your own fault)?
Yes, just tonight. I told my 12-year-old daughter that her shirt was showing too much cleavage. She said "You're just jealous" with a goofy smile. She was kidding, but I wasn't too thrilled.

herbchick
10-08-2009, 06:05 AM
Quick question? Does your bird have UBE's too? (unidentified birdy emergencies)

What would the definition of that be? Probably, lol.
Mine coughs, laughs and sounds like all the different birds that come through the yard. That's my favorite part. He talks a lot, probably about 50 word vocab and is fully flighted, he plucks so flying around the house helps keep him less bored.




Edited: Talking about 'bad birds'... here's a great youtube clip!! This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbKP7Z7-Ryc

That was funny! Welcome to AW. You picked a great forum to start in :)

MyBrainHurts
10-08-2009, 06:55 AM
My brother (the rotten PITA that he is) thought it would be the most hysterical thing if he taught my 2-year-old son how to curse. (Unfortunately, he doesn't have children, so there are no paybacks.)

I found out afterward that he told my son the word 'bitch' was another word for 'mommy,' and that if he ran up to me and called me that, I'd be sooooo happy.

So, my beautiful son... with his eyes full of love... ran up to me, arms outstretched, yelling, 'BI-I-I-TCH!!!!' Then gave me such a huge hug!

How could I be mad?

My brother, however, was another story... I was really ticked off!!! I had to teach my darling little boy to keep away from his uncle. (And I had to do it in a way that made sure my son didn't feel like I was mad at him. Not an easy position to be in.)

My sweet little boy is now a strapping 14-year-old teen, who refuses to utter a single bad word.

I must've done something right. :)

OH!!! And thanks for the welcome, everyone~!! I really appreciate it. :)

Yeshanu
10-08-2009, 09:26 AM
When my son was an infant, we had a boarder (who might have been your brother, MyBrainHurts) who threatened to teach him to kick and scream and yell, "You're not my daddy!" in public.

Fortunately we moved before my son began to talk, but what he ended up doing, well...

Picture a gorgeous tow-headed 2yo walking down the street in small-town Ontario, hand in hand with his mother. Two little old ladies walk behind them. Suddenly a horn honks, and without hesitation the little angel blurts out, "Fucking Asshole!" I too wanted to disappear into a hole, but the two elderly ladies just laughed.

My swearing decreased dramatically after that incident, I can tell you.

No, you're not a bad parent, and you certainly aren't alone... :)

Cassiopeia
10-08-2009, 09:58 AM
When my kids were growing up, I told them shut up was a hot word. Hot words got Tabasco sauce (a drop on the finger and they had to put it on their tongue). When my youngest was about 10 he wouldn't stop going on and on and was really pushing my buttons. I mean, it had been one of those weeks, the ex in my face, my middle son was angsty, and my daughter was being a high school drama queen. They were all clamoring at me.

It was family day. I shouted, OH WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST SHUT UP?!

I don't think I've ever seen my kids look that way before or after. They all immediately burst into tears. "Mommy, you never say shut up. You must hate me."

To this day I feel bad.

sheadakota
10-08-2009, 02:02 PM
my son came home from kindergarden and proudly exclaimed that he knew the "F" word"

This was a small country school and I know most of the kids in his class (all 9 of them) and couldn't imagine any of them saying that. I asked him to tell him what the word was.

After convincing him he would not be in trouble this once if he said it- he whispered it in my ear;

"Fart"

JimmyB27
10-08-2009, 03:35 PM
Our son, whose name is Seth, at one time told anyone who asked what his name was that is was "Seffie-dammit." We shouldn't have laughed, because he continued far longer than he might have, even though I made a much better effort at watching my language around them.

Maryn, giddy with relief that she can now talk normally again, since they've grown up
Reminds me of Baldrick, who thought his first name was 'Sodoff'
"Soddoff?"
"Yessir. When I was a nipper, I used to go up to the other kids and say 'Hello, my name's Baldrick' and they'd say 'Yes, we know. Sodoff Baldrick'"
:D

KTC
10-08-2009, 03:45 PM
Wife: What's Daddy's name?
Daughter: Daddy.
Wife: No. What's his name?
Daughter: Daddy.
Wife: No. Daddy has a name. Do you know what his name is?
Daughter: (losing patience) DADDY.
Wife: No. What's his name? What does Mommy call Daddy?
Daughter: Fuckin' Doopid.

(To translate, that was 'fucking stupid'.)

YAwriter72
10-08-2009, 03:48 PM
When my youngest was 4, he was coming down the stairs and the dog made a sudden commotion. 4 year old yells, "What the Hell was that!" I admit it, I laughed myself silly.

We have explained to the boys that there are words that are okay to use in the house, and ones that are not okay to use in school or around other people. I personally have no problem with them swearing at home, though I do give them alternative words to choose from. There are slipups. 8 year olds teacher told me he was working on something in class and messed up and muttered F&^*.

YAwriter72
10-08-2009, 03:50 PM
Wife: What's Daddy's name?
Daughter: Daddy.
Wife: No. What's his name?
Daughter: Daddy.
Wife: No. Daddy has a name. Do you know what his name is?
Daughter: (losing patience) DADDY.
Wife: No. What's his name? What does Mommy call Daddy?
Daughter: Fuckin' Doopid.

(To translate, that was 'fucking stupid'.)


:roll:Oh God that is awesome!!!!
The boys call dad "that dad" with just the right infliction of frustration. They listen too closely to mom! LOL

KTC
10-08-2009, 03:54 PM
We still laugh over that one. To be honest, my wife might have said that one time...but that's all it takes for a kid to throw that noose over your head in public. We never swore in front of the kids...unless we were unexpectedly frustrated and didn't realize we were doing it. They'll kill you every time they have a chance. (-;

KTC
10-08-2009, 04:01 PM
Son: (Tramping across the over-packed Doctor's office waiting room with an angry look on his face...walking funny.)
Wife: What's wrong?
Son: (Anger creasing his face. Fuming mad.)
Stranger sitting beside wife: (Smiles at wife.)
Wife: What is it, sweety? (Concerned.)
Son: (Stamps feet...wriggles uncomfortably.)
Wife: What is wrong with you?
Stranger: (Another smile. A bit puzzled by son's obvious discomfort and anger.)
Wife: What is it?
Son: My penis is HUGE!

(Son was about 2. One of those moments where these things just happen.)

Maryn
10-08-2009, 04:26 PM
The family was traveling across the country by air to my father's funeral. The kids are preschoolers. I've packed well, busy bags with new surprises, lots of read-aloud, creative small toys, healthy snacks. The perfect mommy, right?

Until a delay at O'Hare. A long delay. We settle into a corner at our gate, a kid on each adult's lap. Mr. Maryn falls asleep sitting upright. I find yet another book and softly read aloud, but our son, who's three, slithers off my lap to stand in front of a fellow passenger who's clearly frustrated by the delay, judging by the way he snaps his newspaper and scowls at anyone who speaks above a whisper. My guess is he's either sleep-deprived, has a headache, or is going to be very late for something important, perhaps all three.

After a full minute, our son touches the man's cafe au lait hand holding the newspaper and dashes back to his sister. "It's skin!" he announces.

We happen to live, by deliberate choice, in a multi-ethnic, multi-racial community, with every skin tone there is except albino. Our son has been around people of every hue all his life. What was going through his mind? We have no idea.

The man threw down his newspaper in disgust and stalked away. When we finally boarded, we did not see him. My husband thinks I made it up, and of course neither kid remembers it, but if that Chicago flyer is at AW: We're not white supremacists, honest!

Maryn, who realizes her son has never dated a black girl, come to think of it

cray
10-08-2009, 04:57 PM
i was in the jetway a few days ago waiting to board the plane when behind me a litttle girl who looked to be about 4 or 5ish screamed at the top of her lungs,


"I HAVE A VAGINA!"


the parents (i assume) tried to make themselves invisible but she got a good laugh from the 40 or 50 people who heard her.

kaitie
10-08-2009, 05:13 PM
my son came home from kindergarden and proudly exclaimed that he knew the "F" word"

This was a small country school and I know most of the kids in his class (all 9 of them) and couldn't imagine any of them saying that. I asked him to tell him what the word was.

After convincing him he would not be in trouble this once if he said it- he whispered it in my ear;

"Fart"

I did this same thing when I was little. :)

MoonWriter
10-08-2009, 05:25 PM
I had a few similar experiences with my kids as some of these posts, so I won't repeat them. But I have to say that they all made me laugh. Great thread. :)

KCathy
10-08-2009, 06:45 PM
We had taken my son on an airplane, and one of the passengers had a bandana around his head and an eye patch.

I grew up in Texas and Louisiana, but have lived on the Oregon coast since before having my own kids. I can feed them grits and teach them to say "sir," but they're still a little confused about the actual purpose of the sun and moon (as they are usually behind clouds here) and say "you guys" instead of "ya'll."

We passed a man wearing a cowboy hat at the store a few weeks ago, and my three-year-old hollered "Look, Mommy, a COWBOY!"

Yeah. My kids are a passel of Yankees.

Chumplet
10-09-2009, 07:49 AM
Oh! Oh! I have another one.

I was waiting in the checkout line at the grocery store with my daughter (then three) in the seat of the shopping cart. To keep her quiet, I gave her a shopping flyer showing all the weekly specials.

On the front page was a platter of raw chicken legs - you know, with fake parsley all around them. She'd never seen uncooked chicken and asked why it looked like that.

I told her, "That's what chicken legs look like before you cook them."

She responded loudly, "Oh, they look just like when you shave your legs, Mommy!"

Everyone laughed and I wanted to climb into the cart and hide under the groceries.

Chumplet
10-10-2009, 07:02 AM
Okay, kids... I'm on a roll.

Andrew, four years old. BIG Ace Ventura fan.

I had the whole family over for some forgotten function, and he spent a little time in the downstairs bathroom. He came out and waved his hand behind his... behind, exclaiming loudly, "Whooo! Do NOT go in there!"