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jerry phoenix
10-05-2009, 02:51 PM
this was a good rejection. i actually had some advice on how to improve the story.

"too many sentences begin with 'He'. repetative cadence to the narative."

thats helpful.

it was also said that it took too long for the tension to develop. i can infer that it is thought that some tension did develop. better late than never? better yet sooner.

Mumut
10-05-2009, 03:47 PM
You're very lucky. Some people never get told and waste so many chances of being published by innocently making the same mistake over and over.

Now make the changes and submit your work to SYW (Share Your Work). And good luck.

Susie
10-05-2009, 08:18 PM
Mumut's right. Much good luck with your work, jerry.

The Lonely One
10-06-2009, 05:42 PM
Take that and run jerry! Especially if it's a pub you like. I just got a rejection from Strange Horizons with a few kind words (didn't understand this or this, liked a lot in it, but ultimately we chose not to publish it). Feels strangely good, don't it?