- Joined
- Jul 17, 2008
- Messages
- 390
- Reaction score
- 38
this was a good rejection. i actually had some advice on how to improve the story.
"too many sentences begin with 'He'. repetative cadence to the narative."
thats helpful.
it was also said that it took too long for the tension to develop. i can infer that it is thought that some tension did develop. better late than never? better yet sooner.
"too many sentences begin with 'He'. repetative cadence to the narative."
thats helpful.
it was also said that it took too long for the tension to develop. i can infer that it is thought that some tension did develop. better late than never? better yet sooner.