Horrible honeymoon suggestions?

CatSlave · Sep 15, 2009

My nephew is getting married next year, and is in charge of planning the surprise honeymoon.

Being a family of unregenerate practical jokers, we are sending him all the awful trip plans we can think of, like living in a tent and panning for fools gold in North Carolina, or crewing on a deep-sea squid trawler for a week and cleaning fish.
:evil

Every now and again he will 'accidentally' leave a brochure where she will run across it.
He has a year to totally freak her out before the wedding.
Any awful suggestions you want to share would be appreciated.

BTW, I think he'll take her to Tahiti or somewhere equally wonderful.

alleycat · Sep 15, 2009

Have one of the mothers-in-law hint that she's planning to go along on the honeymoon ("Don't worry, dear, you won't even know I'm there . . . ")

That would scare the crap out of any bride or groom. Believe it or not, I have heard of such a thing actually happening.

CatSlave · Sep 15, 2009

I love it. Thanks!

alleycat · Sep 15, 2009

What time of the year is the honeymoon planned for? That would make a difference.

No offense meant to anyone in Buffalo, NY, but a honeymoon to Buffalo in January wouldn't be my idea of a good time. Or, come to think of it, maybe it would . . . three feet of snow would be a great excuse to spend more time in the hotel room. ;-)

stormie · Sep 15, 2009

...or January here. Dead, dead, dead. And cold and damp. But there are great bed & breakfasts with fireplaces.... Forget that. It'd be a great honeymoon.

Which brings me to: how about a very haunted B & B?

(I love alleycat's advice about the MIL.)

CatSlave · Sep 15, 2009

August or September next year, DC metro area.

aadams73 · Sep 15, 2009

Scott Research Base, Antarctica. (Hmmm, although I'd probably enjoy that.)

Chernobyl in the Ukraine. Complete with a nuclear power plant tour.

alleycat · Sep 15, 2009

Here's some things that many (but certainly not all) brides would hate on their romantic honeymoon.

Attending a NASCAR race and living in an RV trackside.

Bass fishing.

Going to a religious retreat ("We only require you to be chaste during your time here . . . ").

Going to help out cousin Vinny in the new restaurant he's opening in New Jersey.

A dude ranch.

A nudist camp.

Having the honeymoon planner pretends he's responded to an "Deluxe Honeymoon Package" offered on Craigslist for five days and four nights at the "scenic" Pelican Motel in sunny Gainesville, Florida.

alleycat · Sep 15, 2009

CatSlave said:
August or September next year, DC metro area.

I hear the Congo is nice in August.

CatSlave · Sep 15, 2009

Oh My Gawd, those are all great!

alleycat · Sep 15, 2009

We are evil.

aadams73 · Sep 15, 2009

Juarez, Mexico. Because nothing says, "I love you," like the sound of gunshots outside your hotel.

alleycat · Sep 15, 2009

Not exactly a bad honeymoon video, but it's along the same idea. I love the look on Kimberly's face when she discovers where Brad is going.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8O3Plt8DyMk

(By the way, I don't live far from Brad and Kimberly.)

backslashbaby · Sep 15, 2009

Hmmm... The Great Dismal Swamp should be great fun in August

If she's bothered by bass fishing, she'll adore a huge NC swamp in high summer

alleycat · Sep 15, 2009

How about Gracious and Glowing Oak Ridge, Tennessee?

Oak Ridge is actually a nice town (full of PhD's), but the idea of spending your honeymoon where they process weapon-grade nuclear material probably isn't all that appealing.

sheadakota · Sep 15, 2009

alleycat said:
Here's some things that many (but certainly not all) brides would hate on their romantic honeymoon.

Attending a NASCAR race and living in an RV trackside.

Bass fishing.

Going to a religious retreat ("We only require you to be chaste during your time here . . . ").

Going to help out cousin Vinny in the new restaurant he's opening in New Jersey.

A dude ranch.

A nudist camp.

Having the honeymoon planner pretends he's responded to an "Deluxe Honeymoon Package" offered on Craigslist for five days and four nights at the "scenic" Pelican Motel in sunny Gainesville, Florida.

Actually I DID honeymoon at a dude ranch in Wyoming- it was wonderful- incredible homecooked meals, Hot tub, massages, our own private cabin, Horseback riding, then another week in yellowstone. Maybe not everyones' cup-o-tea, but then I would have hated a week in tahiti( no really I would have)

DWSTXS · Sep 15, 2009

okay

alleycat said:
Have one of the mothers-in-law hint that she's planning to go along on the honeymoon ("Don't worry, dear, you won't even know I'm there . . . ")

That would scare the crap out of any bride or groom. Believe it or not, I have heard of such a thing actually happening.

I don't know about everybody else, but I want to hear the rest of THAT story! LOL

Mumut · Sep 15, 2009

Are the gulags still running? A Shakers' retreat (they don't believe in doing THAT!).

Komnena · Sep 15, 2009

Hiking through Death Valley?

CatSlave · Sep 15, 2009

I'm kinda partial to exploring the bat caves in Yucatan a la Anthony Bourdain,
or attending an intensive square-dance retreat in Toad Lick, Arkansas.

StephanieFox · Sep 15, 2009

Ha! Winter in the Twin Cities. Maybe the St. Paul Winter Carnival. That'd teach 'em.

http://www.winter-carnival.com/
http://www.stpaulwintercarnival.com/events.html

TerzaRima · Sep 15, 2009

Actually, they could have a good time at the Winter Carnival. I could easily envision staying in a nice Uptown hotel while doing the Winter Carnival thing as a great time, but I'm not really a beachy person.And the dude ranch trip sounds like nine kinds of awesome.

I have to say here, though, that the whole idea of a "surprise honeymoon" gives me the vapors.

Elincoln · Sep 15, 2009

aadams73 said:
Juarez, Mexico. Because nothing says, "I love you," like the sound of gunshots outside your hotel.

stormie said:
...or January here. Dead, dead, dead. And cold and damp.

Now combine these and you get....

Newark < Where the murder by guns toll is way past the double digits.

som1luvsmi · Sep 15, 2009

Bakersfield, CA.

Trust me.

tiny · Sep 15, 2009

som1luvsmi said:
Bakersfield, CA.

Trust me.

Combine that with a stay in Barstow, CA. It smells. Odd.

Horrible honeymoon suggestions?

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