(Vent) I have a puppy. He is not a good puppy.

shawkins · Sep 11, 2009

I'm fairly sure that my new puppy is the antichrist.

About 3 mos. ago I took my aging (16+) lab to the vet on Saturday morning. I hadn't had my coffee yet. The vet, who I know and like, mentioned that she had a puppy available for adoption. "Sure," I thought. "Why not? I've got four dogs already. What's one more?" The new puppy came home with me.

I did not adequately recall what a new puppy is capable of. The tally thus far:

1. $1500 worth of A/V equipment. (Urine and chewing)
2. 1 pair of glasses. (Admittedly somewhat scratched and in need of replacement)
3. $4000+ in vet bills. The new puppy noticed that the old lab's pills smelled like treats. The new puppy pulled the bottle of pills off the counter and split it with the weimeraner stray. I found the empty bottle. Unable to determine which of my darlings had partaken of the forbidden fruit, I paid the emergency vet for all 5 of them to be de-toxed. (Admittedly, this was my fault. I should have foreseen this and put the pills in a safety deposit box at a bank. Nonetheless, I remain irritated.)
4. One loveseat. It was getting a bit old, but still.
5. 83 books. Possibly still readable once they dry out, but stinky. The number is accurate. I counted before I made this post.
6. Another pair of glasses (about 1h ago). Evidently the first pair was quite tasty so he went back for seconds.

I will not pretend that this is anything other than a naked and shameless plea for encouragement. Please tell me that I am a good person because I have thus far restrained the urge to kill New Puppy.

Thank you in advance for any support you might care to offer.

Figure 1: Weapons Grade Evil

Cranky · Sep 11, 2009

You're a saint for putting up with that, actually.

Does that help? No? Here, have a cookie and a :Hug2:

, then.

LittleFlowerLei · Sep 11, 2009

shawkins said:
I'm fairly sure that my new puppy is the antichrist.

About 3 mos. ago I took my aging (16+) lab to the vet on Saturday morning. I hadn't had my coffee yet. The vet, who I know and like, mentioned that she had a puppy available for adoption. "Sure," I thought. "Why not? I've got four dogs already. What's one more?" The new puppy came home with me.

I did not adequately recall what a new puppy is capable of. The tally thus far:

1. $1500 worth of A/V equipment. (Urine and chewing)
2. 1 pair of glasses. (Admittedly somewhat scratched and in need of replacement)
3. $4000+ in vet bills. The new puppy noticed that the old lab's pills smelled like treats. The new puppy pulled the bottle of pills off the counter and split it with the weimeraner stray. I found the empty bottle. Unable to determine which of my darlings had partaken of the forbidden fruit, I paid the emergency vet for all 5 of them to be de-toxed. (Admittedly, this was my fault. I should have foreseen this and put the pills in a safety deposit box at a bank. Nonetheless, I remain irritated.)
4. One loveseat. It was getting a bit old, but still.
5. 83 books. Possibly still readable once they dry out, but stinky. The number is accurate. I counted before I made this post.
6. Another pair of glasses (about 1h ago). Evidently the first pair was quite tasty so he went back for seconds.

I will not pretend that this is anything other than a naked and shameless plea for encouragement. Please tell me that I am a good person because I have thus far restrained the urge to kill New Puppy.

Thank you in advance for any support you might care to offer.

xD Trust me dude, I feel your pain. although mine is more of the feline voriaty (Chases me up and down the stairs, tries to make me fall down the stairs, hides under the coffee table and attacks my legs when I walk by (and its even worse when I'm wearing my shorts) and is pretty much hitler Reincarnate) so no, you're not a bad person for wanting to kill the new puppy. Hellz, I wanted to throw my cat out on the street and say "THERE! SEE WHO WILL FEED YOUR ASS NOW!" but I remember all the times when he's a sweetie pie and its impossible to hate him.

cute doggie pic btw. A little bigger breed than I'd prefer, but still cute :3

chocowrites · Sep 11, 2009

Yikes. You have a real trouble-maker on your hands. But he/she is cute, at least. Adawrable.

And I thought my dog peeing on the carpet once a week was bad.

Encouragement:
You are a very good person. And you will some day be rewarded. And I don't think this can go on forever. And maybe this will provide inspiration for your next great literary work. Hey, it paid of for the guy who wrote Marley and Me

Rolling Thunder · Sep 11, 2009

Looks suspiciously like...Haggis.

MacAllister · Sep 11, 2009

Oh dear. Puppies are difficult. Consider yourself commiserated with. o.0

shawkins · Sep 11, 2009

I would type a sincere thank you to all for the support & encouragement, but New Puppy has eaten my keyboard.

rugcat · Sep 11, 2009

No sympathy whatsoever.

We had three dogs. We fostered a fourth, who turned out to have a seizure disorder and behavioral problems. (Read, liked to bite people. She originally lived on the streeet with a homeless woman who was a substance abuser encouraged her to be aggressive toward strangers)

Not surprisingly, we couldn't find a home for her and ended up with four dogs. Three dogs, four dogs, what does it matter? And guess what -- three dogs is a breeze compared to four dogs. And five dogs? Are you insane?

Not to mention if you have four dogs, then you already knew (or should have) that puppies are ten times more difficult than grown dogs. Puppies are satanic creatures, ejected from the nether regions because they are too difficult and the devil couldn't handle the stress.

BTW, you no longer have "dogs." You have a pack.

PS -- one year after getting our problem dog she's now well behaved, a real sweetie, and although she'll always be somewhat damaged, has lost all her aggressive behaviors. (Except for skateboarders, and I understand that)

But yeah, I do actually feel for you, I admit.

Cassiopeia · Sep 11, 2009

Please see KTC for tips on how to train a dog.

Trust me, I'm giving you the best advice EVER.

dgrintalis · Sep 11, 2009

First, your furbaby is adorable.

I have a five and a half month old puppy and no longer have two pairs of flip-flops, one pair of sunglasses, and my favorite pair of heels that I wear to and from work have several puppy-teeth indentations. Not to mention the countless rolls of toilet paper, paper towels, napkins, junk mail (well, I wasn't sorry to see that chewed up), and several cat toys. We have tons of stuff for him to chew on, but he prefers to find his own 'toys'. I am lucky in that my boy, Kane, is incredibly smart and well-behaved in everything else.

You have my sympathies.

Neurotic · Sep 11, 2009

Sit it down and tell it you believe neutering is a valid form of punishment for a dog. If that doesn't work, neuter it. Because you can't have the dogs thinking you won't follow through on your threats.

Of course if it's already neutered there's really no place worse to go for it, so it may as well keep peeing on your stuff. You know, from the puppy's perspective.

*would make a great puppy*

shawkins · Sep 11, 2009

Cassiopeia said:
Please see KTC for tips on how to train a dog.

Roger wilco, and tnx.

KTC? What do you do about evil?

chocowrites · Sep 11, 2009

Or watch the Dog Whisperer, that helps a lot too

A. Hamilton · Sep 11, 2009

thank you so much for this post. I was considering adopting a little Chocolate Lab that had been dumped. you saved me the headache.

sorry about all the damage.

shawkins · Sep 11, 2009

chocowrites said:
Or watch the Dog Whisperer, that helps a lot too

Actually--and this is sort of funny, true story--about a month ago I went to Best Buy & picked up Dog Whisperer season 1. NEW PUPPY ATE IT. Not kidding.

shawkins · Sep 11, 2009

P.H.Delarran said:
thank you so much for this post. I was considering adopting a little Chocolate Lab that had been dumped. you saved me the headache.
sorry about all the damage.

Awww. No. In all seriousness, I think New Puppy is a generally positive event in my life. He's a good little dude. I'd adopt him again, I just needed to vent.

dgrintalis · Sep 11, 2009

So what is new Puppy's name, other than Destructo Dog?

dgrintalis · Sep 11, 2009

shawkins said:
Actually--and this is sort of funny, true story--about a month ago I went to Best Buy & picked up Dog Whisperer season 1. NEW PUPPY ATE IT. Not kidding.

Susie · Sep 11, 2009

You deserve :2angel:

wings, so here they are too. Very cute puppy. Bet he'll be good soon.

Hope so, anyway.

shawkins · Sep 11, 2009

dgrintalis said:
So what is new Puppy's name, other than Destructo Dog?

He answers to GODDAMNIT, STOP CHEWING ON THAT!!! Another option is "Stir Fry". (He was found outside a Korean restaurant, and I'm not in the best of moods.) But the vet tech who nursed him from the age of 2d called him Rafiki, and that will probably stick.

Cassiopeia · Sep 11, 2009

shawkins said:
He answers to GODDAMNIT, STOP CHEWING ON THAT!!! Another option is "Stir Fry". (He was found outside a Korean restaurant, and I'm not in the best of moods.) But the vet tech who nursed him from the age of 2d called him Rafiki, and that will probably stick.

I'm sorry. But I just have to say,

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH!

dgrintalis · Sep 11, 2009

shawkins said:
He answers to GODDAMNIT, STOP CHEWING ON THAT!!! Another option is "Stir Fry". (He was found outside a Korean restaurant, and I'm not in the best of moods.) But the vet tech who nursed him from the age of 2d called him Rafiki, and that will probably stick.

Awwww...Rafiki. How cute! kane is named after a movie character as well, although Alien is a far cry from a Disney movie.

bettielee · Sep 11, 2009

There is nothing you can do about the evil. I know. I live with a four footed feline made of teh evil. Just continue to hate yourself, and find a urine-free corner to huddle in. You've got about 2 more years of this. Live with the hope that it won't be three.

Sorry. You seem like such a nice mod.

MaryMumsy · Sep 11, 2009

shawkins said:
He answers to GODDAMNIT, STOP CHEWING ON THAT!!! Another option is "Stir Fry". (He was found outside a Korean restaurant, and I'm not in the best of moods.) But the vet tech who nursed him from the age of 2d called him Rafiki, and that will probably stick.

I think Stir Fry is a good option. Our first cat thought his name was 'no bites' because we said that to him so many times.

In Dec '69 my Dad (who was getting ready to leave for a tour in Viet Nam) gifted us with a three month old beagle puppy. The sum total of the stuff she devoured would take an hour to type out. By the time he got back, she was all trained, so he missed all the good stuff. But we all survived, and they had that dog till she was 14 and a half.

MM

trocadero · Sep 12, 2009

You have to wonder whether your 'friend' the vet knew about your puppy's shortcomings. Why did Rafiki become available for adoption in the first place?

In any case, the vet might be able to offer some ideas - about toilet training as well as general behavior. All I can think of is to run him ragged outside as often as possible. Do you have a yard? Can you keep him outside? 83 books...

He is beautiful, by the way. And you are very patient. St Francis of Assisi would be proud of you

(Vent) I have a puppy. He is not a good puppy.

Ahhh. Sweet.

Reverse psychologist

scaredy cat

'Twas but a dream of thee

Ahhh. Sweet.

Lost in the Fog

Otherwise Occupied

'Tis true, she is a monstergirl

Militant apathist

Ahhh. Sweet.

scaredy cat

here for a minute...catch me?

Ahhh. Sweet.

Ahhh. Sweet.

'Tis true, she is a monstergirl

'Tis true, she is a monstergirl

Thanks, special friend for my avi!

Ahhh. Sweet.

Otherwise Occupied

'Tis true, she is a monstergirl

I'm a sparkly fairy princess!

the original blond bombshell