Obsessive Rep Point Checkers Club, v2

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Neurotic

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Are you gentlemen actually trying to get me to bring out the elasticator? Really? Because I will. Don't think for a second that I'm bluffing. Because I'm not. I will roast the pumpkins if I have to. Even the ugly one with the big choppers.
 

slcboston

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I probably shouldn't, but...

Guy walks into a pet store looking for an unusual Christmas gift. After talking with the clerk some, the clerk says, he has just the thing: a singing parrot.

The guy dismisses this, as singing birds are a dime a dozen. (Allowing for inflation probably more like ten dollars a dozen anymore, but I digress.)

The clerk says no, Chet is special. For starters, Chet sings Christmas carols. Also, Chet sings different tunes. All it takes is a match.

Now the guy is curious, so he asks for a demonstration.

Clerk takes a match, lights it, and holds it underneath Chet's right foot. Not enough to burn him, just enough to create some heat.

Chet starts singing "Jingle Bells."

Match goes out. Clerk lights another one, holds it under the left foot. Chet starts singing "White Christmas."

The guy is impressed. But, he has a question: what happens if they hold the match between Chet's feet? Neither right nor left?

The clerk shrugs and says he doesn't know. So he lights a third match, holds it between Chet's feet...

And the bird begins to sing "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire" :D
 

Neurotic

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Oh, Boston. You should be ashamed of yourself.

*goes to uni, sadly disappointed*
 

slcboston

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that would imply that I had a sense of shame... and/or a conscience to apply said sense of shame to my actions.

:D
 

DeleyanLee

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Good joke. Should remember than in the coming months. Totally up my family's alley.

Thanks for the grin, Boston!
 

kct webber

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Oh, is that what *that* is?

I was wondering....

That's my damn halloween costume, dammit! Don't make fun! :tongue


And I feel a little dirty for chuckling at that joke, even if I did know where it was going when the first match was lit. :rolleyes:
 

DeleyanLee

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I prefer the Viking philosophy:

If I can move it, it's mine. If I can pry it up, it's mine. If I can't pry it up, it's ashes.

:D
 

slcboston

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Is that bcs you don't have a social life (like me) or because you know where to hide the charred remains?

:evil
 
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