View Full Version : When Impatience Spawns Bad Poetry

09-01-2009, 06:49 AM
So anyway--I have a manuscript out with several agents and my patience--which has never been that awesome--is starting to wear thin. For some reason, it doesn't matter when I tell myself logical things (It's August--it's a slow month; It hasn't been three (four, five, six) months yet so it's too early to nudge; no news is good news; blah blah blah) about why I haven't heard anything so I have to do something to distract myself.

When I was a kid, I used to write a lot of satirical poetry. *grin* So, I thought I'd share this one with you guys. Nothing like making a funny to get yourself past a bad moment. Does anyone else do this sort of thing--or I am the only weird one? Oh and before anyone asks: no, I'm really not upset. I just thought this was funny.

The E'er Refreshed Email Account (Query Woes)

Now I lay my book to rest;
Time to forgo the query quest.
Although on these pages that now have died
I've puked and bled and screamed and cried
Nary an agent has mailed me back
To exclaim at my brilliance as a genre hack.
Not a word on this story I love so well.
Darn those agents--you've sent me straight to hell!

It's only been three months, maybe more,
Since my manuscript hit your vaunted door.
The envelope sealed with spit and hope
So that I, at home, could wait and mope.
I thought at least I'd get a call
Inviting me into your privileged hall
To sign a contract! Not much to ask
For my delayed glory; I'm ready to bask.

Alas! Although my story is really great
And you can find nothing "particular" to hate
You regret to inform me that you must pass
And doing so, make me feel like an untalented ass.
But now the tears are over; the last song is sung
No more on that story are my hopes hung.
I have another tale for my ego to unhinge
I'm querying you again out of sheer revenge.

Remember me? My name can't have escaped your pate
You don't know me well enough (yet) to hate
So check this story out--raise my hopes yet again
Before you consign it, like the others, to the bin.

C. Summers
August, 2009

09-01-2009, 07:18 AM
Love it! :D

09-01-2009, 07:30 AM
THAT was freakin awesome!! :ROFL:

09-01-2009, 07:40 AM
I needed a laugh!! Thanks.

Dream Believer
09-01-2009, 08:08 AM
You're not the only one. I once wrote an ode to the LUSH products I'm so addicted to. At least yours has to do with writing!!!

ink wench
09-01-2009, 04:18 PM

09-01-2009, 04:23 PM
OMG -- that is AWESOME! :D

09-01-2009, 06:00 PM
awwww...thanks! Hopefully, this insomnia will go away and I'll refrain from offending the muse of poetry in the future.

09-01-2009, 06:12 PM
:roll: Brilliant!

09-01-2009, 06:22 PM

Good one, Cel. :D

09-03-2009, 02:01 AM
There once was a writer named Lina
To whom all the agents were meana.
Instead of a tome,
She typed up a pome,
And became in this forum a queena.

09-03-2009, 02:16 AM
YES!! Awesome!!

09-03-2009, 04:40 AM
The envelope sealed with spit and hope

This is my favorite line! How true! Love it, Celina.

09-03-2009, 04:42 AM
Aw, thanks. For my next trick...