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Okay, we all encounter odd "you just don't get it" conversations with non-writers, but this one has left a few of my synapses sputtering.
While in the airport the other night, my husband and I struck up a conversation with some other passengers. It came out that I'm a writer, specifically of the romance/erotic romance genres. Then I heard the words that always make my innards clench:
"Well, since you're a writer..."
Oh Lord, here we go...
"...here's what you should write..."
...grant me the serenity...
"...now, most people are too afraid to write something like this, but I think it will work. So..."
...more serenity, STAT...
"...I think you should write a book about your perception of black men." *cue facial expression that says "OMG, isn't this brilliant?"*
Maybe it was fatigue from traveling for almost 24 straight hours, maybe it was just the fact that everyone in the room was staring at me with looks of "yeah, why don't you?", but it took me a second to respond. Finally, I said, "I write fiction, specifically romance, so that really wouldn't be my genre."
This was where things got a bit strange...
He laughed. That smug, knowing "oh, I shouldn't be surprised" laugh. "Well, I thought you might not be like all the other sheep out there, but I guess most people would be afraid to take a risk by writing something like that."
Must. Contain. Rage. "No," I said. "It's not fear, or a risk, or anything of the sort. It's simply outside of my area of writing."
"Well, it would be out of your comfort zone, then-"
"No, I didn't say it was out of my comfort zone. Most writers stick to certain genres-"
"Because they're afraid to step out of the box and write about things that might be that edgy or risky."
By this point, I was starting to get really annoyed, but again, couldn't tell if it was fatigue catching up with me (as if anyone ever gets bitchy after 24 hours without sleep) or if he was really getting under my skin. I tried approaching it from a "wouldn't know that aspect of the market well enough to know if it would sell", which was a mistake, since it launched him into another tirade about racism, comfort zones, and risk. Fortunately, the subject was changed shortly thereafter because we had to go to our gate.
As I said, I know we've all had frustrating conversations with non-writers who simply don't get it. This one, for some reason, has had me scratching my head for a few days. I didn't expect to be able to get through to him that there are things about writing/publishing that he doesn't know, but the whole "if you won't write about THIS, you're clearly scared/won't take risks/can't deal with such gritty topics/etc" was a bit...weird. The fact that I didn't think it was a book I could/would write meant that I was scared?
If you'd been in my shoes that day (minus the lack of sleep), how would you have handled it? I'm not asking how I should have handled it - can't change it, water under the bridge, wouldn't have changed his mind anyway - I'm just curious what YOUR response would have been to that kind of conversation.
How do (or would) you respond to people who tell YOU why you don't write certain things?
While in the airport the other night, my husband and I struck up a conversation with some other passengers. It came out that I'm a writer, specifically of the romance/erotic romance genres. Then I heard the words that always make my innards clench:
"Well, since you're a writer..."
Oh Lord, here we go...
"...here's what you should write..."
...grant me the serenity...
"...now, most people are too afraid to write something like this, but I think it will work. So..."
...more serenity, STAT...
"...I think you should write a book about your perception of black men." *cue facial expression that says "OMG, isn't this brilliant?"*
Maybe it was fatigue from traveling for almost 24 straight hours, maybe it was just the fact that everyone in the room was staring at me with looks of "yeah, why don't you?", but it took me a second to respond. Finally, I said, "I write fiction, specifically romance, so that really wouldn't be my genre."
This was where things got a bit strange...
He laughed. That smug, knowing "oh, I shouldn't be surprised" laugh. "Well, I thought you might not be like all the other sheep out there, but I guess most people would be afraid to take a risk by writing something like that."
Must. Contain. Rage. "No," I said. "It's not fear, or a risk, or anything of the sort. It's simply outside of my area of writing."
"Well, it would be out of your comfort zone, then-"
"No, I didn't say it was out of my comfort zone. Most writers stick to certain genres-"
"Because they're afraid to step out of the box and write about things that might be that edgy or risky."
By this point, I was starting to get really annoyed, but again, couldn't tell if it was fatigue catching up with me (as if anyone ever gets bitchy after 24 hours without sleep) or if he was really getting under my skin. I tried approaching it from a "wouldn't know that aspect of the market well enough to know if it would sell", which was a mistake, since it launched him into another tirade about racism, comfort zones, and risk. Fortunately, the subject was changed shortly thereafter because we had to go to our gate.
As I said, I know we've all had frustrating conversations with non-writers who simply don't get it. This one, for some reason, has had me scratching my head for a few days. I didn't expect to be able to get through to him that there are things about writing/publishing that he doesn't know, but the whole "if you won't write about THIS, you're clearly scared/won't take risks/can't deal with such gritty topics/etc" was a bit...weird. The fact that I didn't think it was a book I could/would write meant that I was scared?
If you'd been in my shoes that day (minus the lack of sleep), how would you have handled it? I'm not asking how I should have handled it - can't change it, water under the bridge, wouldn't have changed his mind anyway - I'm just curious what YOUR response would have been to that kind of conversation.
How do (or would) you respond to people who tell YOU why you don't write certain things?
