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jollyjeff
08-30-2009, 01:29 AM
This is such a great group of people that I always feel comfortable asking for your support.

As many of you know I am being treated for depression. The past month has been particularly rough. I've missed work for three out of the last five weeks (feeling perfectly fine the other two.) and spent four days in the psychiatric ward of the hospital.
It has now reached the point where I am seriously considering applying for disability retirement. I really can't believe I would even think about such a thing. but here I am.
I would really appreciate any prayers, support, inforamation or anything else you may have to offer. I know this wonderful group will come through for me.:)
Thanks
Jeff



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Mumut
08-30-2009, 03:49 AM
Best wishes, Jeff. I've been on workers' compensation since late 2005 for work-related depression. I reach 65 in a couple of months and go onto an age pension. One of my major problems was that I'd been brainwashed all my early life into believing it a deadly sin not to work. Civilized society demands a child attends school until leaving to join the workforce then dedicate his whole life to the capitalist ideal before dying a couple of days after retirement. So I had depression and anxiety about not being at work. I almost donned camouflage to take the clothes out to hang on the line if it was a work day. Every conversation was more of an apology. I travelled on a train to visit the psychiatrist and sat in a corner with my hat pulled down - my way of trying to avoid attention probably brought more!

So I've been on a vatiety of medication. The first made me into a zombie with huge side effects of headaches and nausia. I stuck to it because I was told to. The second made me into an axe murderer so my wife and dog demanded the doctor take me off it. The third was ok but then I found TMS. Although it's called Thans-cranial MAGNETIC Stimulation it is sending electric shocks through the frontal lobe for two half hour sessions a day for ten days. For me it has worked. At first amazingly well. Then there was a glitch in other parts of my life (mainly my writing) and I had a relapse. I had a 'top-up' which helped then the full treatment again which has been very good - nearly as good as the first time. But now I'm off medication. I have been for about a year. With the doctor's permission, I weaned myself off.

Also my psychologist introduced me to affirmations and other ways to enforce the positive and reduce negative thoughts and feelings. At first I goofed. I made up quantitative and qualitative affirmations - 'I'm feeling 1% better so in 100 days I'll be back where I was', and things like that. Of course, one day of backsliding and I'd feel worse than before because I'd stuffed up again. At that time I felt I'd ruined so much in my life for me and a whole lot more people, this was disasterous. So I just concentrated on my present position, looked back at the early day and said to myself, in a firm but satisfied voice, 'I am getting there. It's a bumpy path, but it is happening." I found this worked for me.

I'm sorry, Jeff, if I seem to be raving, but I would really like to help you. If you leave the work force because of depression, get help to overcome any anxiety that comes with it. Ask your doctor about TMS and try it if it will be suitable to you. And all the very best wishes for you to overcome your problem.

Wayne K
08-30-2009, 04:15 AM
I'm crazier than any five people out together Jeff. I've battled depression and anxiety, to suicidal and homicidal tendencies. After all of it, (I'm feeling much better now) I think it's as simple as making sure you have the right doctor. One who demands action out of you, not just taking the pills either.

The thing that helped me most was being able to recognize that what I was going through wasn't real. Then I was able to accept that it was there, but it would pass. It's a tough thing to do. I wish you the best.

Susie
08-30-2009, 06:24 AM
JJ, my prayers are out to you as well as good vibes. I wish I had some information, but know we love you and hope that you get the help you need and you will be well very soon. You're always such a positive and fun fellow and never think of you having depression, but it does happen to the best of us. Just take care and know you're in our thoughts & prayers and let us know how you're doing, please. ((((((HUGS))))).

rhymegirl
08-30-2009, 08:19 PM
I don't know what to say except all of us care about you, Jeff and send positive, caring vibes your way.

Writesforlaughs
08-31-2009, 08:55 AM
Thinking of you, Jeff, and praying you will find the help you need to improve and feel better, and the wisdom to make the right decision in what path to follow. All the best,

peg
08-31-2009, 04:10 PM
Jeff, so sorry to hear this; you know we all care for you here and are pulling for you. Have you talked to your local Social Security office? The people at ours are very helpful.

Keep us informed. You know you have a home here.

Peg

Cabria
08-31-2009, 09:12 PM
Hang in there Jeff. I'll keep you in my thoughts...

Deb :Hug2:

Lavern08
08-31-2009, 09:48 PM
I'm crazier than any five people put together Jeff. I've battled depression and anxiety...

Yep, me too!

Praying for ya Jeff - You're not alone in your struggle.

McGill
08-31-2009, 10:43 PM
Sorry to hear about the rough time you've been having Jeff. I sincerely hope that things improve for you. Like Deb said, Hang in there. And know we're all thinking about you and wishing for the best for you.

jollyjeff
09-01-2009, 02:38 AM
Wow, y'all came through with support just like I new you would. Often when we want to help someone but all we have to offer is kind words, we think that's not enough. I'm here to tell you kind words mean A LOT-at least as much as the therapy and medicine does.
As I wrote in the chatty section a moment ago, I'll be entering the hospital shortly and I'll be taking your kind words with me.
Thanks again
Jeff

Eeek
09-01-2009, 09:22 AM
Hope you're feeling better soon!

HSJRivers
09-01-2009, 07:11 PM
I have two dear friends who deal with chemical depression, and I know it's not something you choose. We will be lifting you up as you enter the hospital, and praying that you will get just the right care.

Susie
09-01-2009, 08:27 PM
So hoping you'll feel way better very soon and know we're here for you when you return. ((((((HUGS & PRAYERS)))))).

Reece10
09-01-2009, 09:25 PM
Hi Jeff,

Always believe that you will get better - because you will.

Hugs

Reece :Hug2:

Jens22
09-02-2009, 08:41 PM
Hey Jeff,

It sounds like you're doing the right thing. Hope the doctors help. We're all looking forward to hearing from you, so keep in touch!

wyntermoon
09-04-2009, 03:20 AM
Good thoughts, my friend! We'll be here when you return! :Hug2:

Andreya
09-08-2009, 04:08 PM
Sorry to hear about it, Jeff..

Have you checked out the depression-nutrition connection yet? And any possible food sensitivities or such?
My Mum's acquaintance recovered with daily walks - her daughter pulled her on a small walk every day, & they were ever a bit longer.. Sunshine & fresh air can work miracles..

Also The Feeling Good Handbook by Dr Burns is a great book.. Basics of cognitive psychology..

Wishing you speedy recovery...

BlueDimity
09-09-2009, 12:59 AM
I will pray for you. Don't worry.