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View Full Version : YA Fantasy - Looking for opinion on first chapter (3750 words) of completed work



watercayman
08-24-2009, 01:41 AM
Hi Folks,

I could really use a few opinions on my work. I've completed the MS (86K words) and have spent considerable time revising chapter one. Before I go on with the edit, I'd love to know what people think of the flow -- is it something that would compel you to continue, is it confusing (and if so, why - POV problems, style issues, poor wording choices, too much going on without substance, etc), well written, etc. I can then incorporate the suggestions all the way through the MS edit.

To get an idea if you are interested, I've posted the first 900 words in SYW here: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=152099 (Post #11). I think the 3750 word chapter might be too much for that forum. I've had some truly outstanding help from a few people there. Now looking to see if the whole chapter works.

My grammar and structure are decent - I've studied these areas quite hard - so I hope it won't be a horrible chore to read.

If you have a WIP or a chapter that you'd like to swap - I'd be more than happy to return the favor! Examples of my critique style are here: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=3958860#post3958860 and here: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=3958745#post3958745 . I can certainly flavor to your taste, though.

I can usually turn things around in a day -- sometimes a few hours. I'd love someone who could do the same, but understand if it might take a bit longer.

Hopefully not coming across as demanding or picky - after reading the stickys here it seems people would like more information on what the poster is hoping for :)

Thanks very much.

Mharvey
08-25-2009, 09:59 PM
Hi Folks,

I could really use a few opinions on my work. I've completed the MS (86K words) and have spent considerable time revising chapter one. Before I go on with the edit, I'd love to know what people think of the flow -- is it something that would compel you to continue, is it confusing (and if so, why - POV problems, style issues, poor wording choices, too much going on without substance, etc), well written, etc. I can then incorporate the suggestions all the way through the MS edit.

To get an idea if you are interested, I've posted the first 900 words in SYW here: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=152099 (Post #11). I think the 3750 word chapter might be too much for that forum. I've had some truly outstanding help from a few people there. Now looking to see if the whole chapter works.

My grammar and structure are decent - I've studied these areas quite hard - so I hope it won't be a horrible chore to read.

If you have a WIP or a chapter that you'd like to swap - I'd be more than happy to return the favor! Examples of my critique style are here: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=3958860#post3958860 and here: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=3958745#post3958745 . I can certainly flavor to your taste, though.

I can usually turn things around in a day -- sometimes a few hours. I'd love someone who could do the same, but understand if it might take a bit longer.

Hopefully not coming across as demanding or picky - after reading the stickys here it seems people would like more information on what the poster is hoping for :)

Thanks very much.

Seems we both have an interest in the same genre!

I'll be happy to have a look.

Feel free to shoot me the first chapter. I'll read it and get back to you. I've PMed you my E-Mail addy.

If our styles are compatible, I'll be happy to shoot you the first chapter of mine afterward, and we can go from there.