In which I do an experimental experiment, all in the name of science, like.

thethinker42 said:

You're a Scot. One drink is not nearly enough to differentiate between being intoxicated and being...well...you.

I think that, in the name of scientific accuracy, you should polish off the whole bottle. THEN write chapter 38.

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scarletpeaches said:

Good god woman. Do you want this book to be worth reading or not?

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KTC said:

I suggest she NOT polish the bottle...because, let's be frank...who cares if the bottle is shiny. Just drink the facker.

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scarletpeaches said:

Maybe this thread needs a poll.

Smirnoff v. Peaches. Who wins?

Chapter 38 will be the loser.

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deathwizard said:

Would it be possible to write an entire chapter using just four-letter words?

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scarletpeaches said:

Bear in mind, despite my Scottishness I have no tolerance for alcohol any more. I hardly go out, so I'm a cheap date.

It's not like I'm drinking on an empty stomach but I'm already starting to feel a bit woozy.

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scarletpeaches said:

*spews vodka onto screen*

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KTC said:

Here. Put these in the proper order for me:

ABBE ABBR ABED ABET ABLE ABUT ACAD ACCT ACHE ACHY ACID ACME ACNE ACRE ACTG ACTH ADDN ADVT AEON AERO AERY AFAR AFFT AFRO AGAR AGCY AGED AGOG AGUE AHOY AIDE AINU AIRY AJAR AKIN ALEE ALGA ALLY ALMS ALOE ALSO ALTA ALTO ALUM AMAH AMDT AMEN AMER AMID AMMO AMOK ANAL ANAT ANEW ANKH ANON ANTE ANTI ANUS APEX APPL APPT APSE AQUA ARAB ARCH AREA ARIA ARID ARIZ ARMY ARTY ARUM ASHY ASSN ASSR ASST ATOM ATOP ATTN ATTY AULD AUNT AURA AUTH AUTO AVDP AVER AVID AVOW AWAY AWOL AWRY AXIS AXLE AYAH BABE BABY BACK BADE BAHT BAIL BAIT BAKE BALD BALE BALK BALL BALM BAND BANE BANG BANK BARB BARD BARE BARK BARN BART BASE BASH BASK BASS BAST BATE BATH BAWD BAWL BDRM BEAD BEAK BEAM BEAN BEAR BEAT BEAU BECK BEEF BEEN BEER BEET BELG BELL BELT BEND BENT BERG BEST BEVY BIAS BIDE BIER BIKE BILE BILK BILL BIND BIOG BIOL BIRD BITE BKGD BLAB BLDG BLDR BLEW BLIP BLOB BLOC BLOT BLOW BLUE BLUR BLVD BOAR BOAT BOCK BODE BODY BOER BOIL BOLA BOLD BOLE BOLL BOLO BOLT BOMB BOND BONE BOOK BOOM BOON BOOR BOOT BORE BORN BOSH BOSS BOTH BOUT BOWL BPOE BRAD BRAE BRAG BRAN BRAT BRAY BREW BRIG BRIM BRIO BRIT BROS BROW BSKT BTRY BUBO BUCK BUFF BULB BULK BULL BUMP BUNG BUNK BUNT BUOY BURL BURN BURP BURR BURY BUSH BUSS BUST BUSY BUTT BUZZ BYTE CAFE CAGE CAKE CALC CALF CALK CALL CALM CAME CAMP CANC CANE CANT CAPE CAPS CAPT CARD CARE CARP CART CASE CASH CASK CAST CATV CAUL CAVE CAVY CCTV CEDE CEDI CELL CELT CENT CERT CHAM CHAP CHAR CHAT CHEF CHEM CHEW CHIC CHIN CHIP CHIT CHON CHOP CHOW CHUB CHUG CHUM CIAO CITE CITY CLAD CLAM CLAN CLAP CLAW CLAY CLEF CLEW CLIP CLOD CLOG CLOP CLOT CLOY CLUB CLUE CMDG CMDR COAL COAT COAX COCK COCO CODA CODE COED COHO COIF COIL COIN COKE COLA COLD COLL COLO COLT COMB COME COML COMM COMP COMR CONC CONE CONF CONG CONJ CONK CONN CONS CONT CONY COOK COOL COON COOP COOT COPE COPY Cord CORE CORK CORM CORN CORP CORR COST COSY COTE COUP COVE COWL COZY CPFF CPOM CPOS CRAB CRAG CRAM CREE CREW CRIB CRIT CROP CROW CRUX CSSR CUBE CUFF CUKE CULL CULT CURB CURD CURE CURL CURT CUSP CUTE CYAN CYME CYST CZAR DACE DADA DAFT DAIS DALE DAME DAMN DAMP DANE DANK DARE DARK DARN DART DASH DATA DATE DAUB DAWN DAZE DEAD DEAF DEAL DEAN DEAR DEBT DECK DEED DEEM DEEP DEER DEFT DEFY DELE DELI DELL DELY DENT DENY DEPR DEPT DESK DEUT DHOW DIAG DIAL DICE DICT DIDO DIET DIKE DILL DIME DINE DINT DIRE DIRK DIRT DISC DISH DISK DIST DIVA DIVE DOCK DODO DOER DOES DOFF DOGE DOLE DOLL DOLT DOME DONA DONE DONG DOOM DOOR DOPA DOPE

DORM DORY DOSE DOTE DOUR DOVE DOWN DOZE DRAB DRAG DRAM DRAW DRAY DREG DREW DRIP DROP DRUB DRUG DRUM DUAL DUCK DUCT DUDE DUEL DUET DUKE DULL DULY DUMA DUMB DUMP DUNE DUNG DUNK DUPE DUSK DUST DUTY DYKE EACH EARL EARN EASE EAST EASY ECCL ECHO ECOL ECON ECRU ECUA EDAM EDDY EDEN EDGE EDGY EDIT EDUC EGIS ELAN ELEC ELEM ELSE EMER EMIR EMIT ENCY ENGR ENVY EPEE EPIC ERGO ERIE ERST ESPY ESTH ETCH EVAP EVEN EVER EVIL EWER EXAM EXCH EXEC EXIT EXOD EXOR EXPO EXPT EZEK FACE FACT FADE FADM FAIL FAIN FAIR FAKE FALL FAME FANE FANG FARE FARM FAST FATE FATH FAUN FAWN FAZE FDIC FEAR FEAT FEDN FEED FEEL FEET FELL FELT FEND FEPC FERN FETE FEUD FIAT FICA FIDO FIEF FIFE FIFO FILE FILL FILM FILS FIND FINE FINK FINN FIRE FIRM FISH FIST FIVE FIZZ FLAB FLAG FLAK FLAP FLAT FLAW FLAX FLAY FLEA FLEE FLEM FLEW FLEX FLIP FLIT FLOE FLOG FLOP FLOW FLUB FLUE FLUX FOAL FOAM FOGY FOIL FOLD FOLK FOND FONT FOOD FOOL FOOT FORA FORD FORE FORK FORM FORT FOUL FOUR FOWL FOXY FRAY FREE FREQ FRET FROG FROM FRWY FUEL FULL FUME FUND FUNK FURL FURY FUSE FUSS FUZE FUZZ GAEL GAFF GAGE GAIN GAIT GALA GALE GALL GALV GAME GAMY GANG GAOL GAPE GARB GASH GASP GATE GATT GAUD GAVE GAWK GAZE GEAR GELD GENE GENL GENS GENT GEOG GEOL GEOM GERM GHAT GIBE GIFT GILD GILL GILT GIRD GIRL GIST GIVE GLAD GLEE GLEN GLIB GLOB GLOP GLOW GLUE GLUM GLUT GNAT GNAW GOAD GOAL GOAT GOLD GOLF GONE GONG GOOD GOOF GOON GORE GORY GOTH GOUT GOVT GOWN GRAB GRAD GRAM GRAY GREW GREY GRID GRIM GRIN GRIP GRIT GROG GROT GROW GRUB GULF GULL GULP GURU GUSH GUST GYRO GYVE HACK HAFT HAIL HAIR HAKE HALE HALF HALL HALO HALT HAND HANG HANK HARD HARE HARK HARM HARP HART HASH HASP HATE HAUL HAVE HAWK HAZE HAZY HDBK HDKF HDWE HEAD HEAL HEAP HEAR HEAT HEED HEEL HEFT HEIR HELD HELL HELM HELP HEME HEMP HERB HERD HERE HERO HERS HGWY HICK HIDE HIGH HIKE HILL HILT HIND HINT HIRE HISS HIST HIVE HOAX HOBO HOCK HOKE HOLD HOLE HOLY HOME HOMO HONE HONK HOOD HOOF HOOK HOOP HOOT HOPE HOPI HORN HORT HOSE HOSP HOST HOUR HOVE HOWL HRZN HUFF HUGE HULA HULK HULL HUMP HUNG HUNK HUNT HURL HURT HUSH HUSK HYMN HYPE HYPO IAMB IBEX IBIS ICBM ICKY ICON IDEA IDEM IDES IDLE IDOL IFFY IKON IMIT INCA INCH INCL INCR INFL INFO INRI INSP INST INTL INTO IOOF IOTA IRBM IRIS IRON ISLE ITAL ITCH ITEM JACK JADE JAIL JAMB JAPE JAZZ JEEP JEER JEHU JELL JERK JESS JEST JIBE JILT JINX JIVE JOHN JOIN JOKE JOLT JOSH JOSS JOUR JOWL JUDG JUDO JULY JUMP JUNC JUNE JUNK JURY JUST JUTE KALE KAME KANS KART

KAYO KEEL KEEN KEEP KELP KELT KENO KEPI KERB KERF KHAN KICK KILL KILN KILO KILT KIND KINE KING KINK KIRK KISS KITE KITH KIWI KNEE KNEW KNIT KNOB KNOT KNOW KOBO KOOK KUDO KYAT LACE LACK LADY LAID LAIN LAIR LAKE LAMA LAMB LAME LAMP LAND LANE LANG LANK LAPP LARD LARK LASH LASS LAST LATE LATH LAUD LAVA LAVE LAWN LAZE LAZY LCDR LCPL LEAD LEAF LEAK LEAL LEAN LEAP LECT LEEK LEER LEES LEFT LEND LENS LENT LESS LEST LETT LEVY LEWD LIAR LICE LICK LIDO LIED LIEF LIEN LIEU LIFE LIFO LIFT LIKE LILT LILY LIMB LIME LIMN LIMP LINE LING LINK LINT LION LIRA LISP LIST LITH LIVE LOAD LOAF LOAM LOAN LOBE LOCH LOCK LOCO LODE LOFT LOGE LOGO LOGY LOIN LOLL LOND LONE LONG LOOK LOOM LOON LOOP LOOT LOPE LORD LORE LORN LOSE LOSS LOST LOTH LOUD LOUR LOUT LOVE LTJG LUAU LUBE LUCK LUFF LULL LUMP LUNG LURE LURK LUSH LUST LUTE LYNX LYRE MACE MACH MADE MAGI MAID MAIL MAIM MAIN MAKE MALE MALL MALT MAMA MANE MANX MANY MARE MARK MARL MARS MART MASC MASH MASK MASS MAST MATE MATH MATT MAUL MAXI MAYA MAZE MCPO MDNT MDSE MEAD MEAL MEAN MEAS MEAT MECH MEED MEEK MEET MELD MELT MEMO MEND MENU MEOW MERE MESA MESH MESS METE MEWS MICA MICE MICH MIDI MIEN MIFF MIKE MILD MILE MILK MILL MILT MIME MIND MINE MINI MINK MINN MINT MINX MIRE MISC MISS MIST MITE MITT MIXT MKTG MLLE MOAN MOAT MOCK MODE MOIL MOLD MOLE MOLL MOLT MOLY MONK MONO MONT MOOD MOON MOOR MOOT MOPE MORE MORN MOSS MOST MOTE MOTH MOUE MOVE MSEC MSGR MSGT MTGE MUCH MUCK MUFF MULE MULL MURK MUSE MUSH MUSK MUSS MUST MUTE MUTT MYNA MYTH NAIF NAIL NAME NAPE NARC NARD NASA NATL NATO NAUT NAVE NAVY NAZI NDEA NEAP NEAR NEAT NECK NEED NEON NEST NETH NEUT NEWS NEWT NEXT NFLD NICE NICK NIGH NINE NISI NLRB NODE NOEL NOES NONE NOOK NOON NOPE NORM NORW NOSE NOSY NOTE NOUN NOVA NUDE NULL NUMB NUTS OATH OBEY OBIT OBOE ODDS ODOR OGLE OGRE OINK OKLA OKRA OLEO OLIO OMEN OMIT ONCE ONLY ONTO ONUS ONYX OOZE OPAL OPEN OPER OPUS ORAL ORCH OREG ORGY ORIG OURS OUST OUZO OVAL OVEN OVER OVUM PACE PACK PACT PAGE PAID PAIL PAIN PAIR PALE PALL PALM PANE PANG PANT PAPA PARA PARD PARE PARK PART PASS PAST PATE PATH PAVE PAWL PAWN PAYT PEAK PEAL PEAR PEAT PECK PEEK PEEL PEEN PEEP PEER PEKE PELF PELT PENN PENT PEON PERF PERH PERK PERM PERP PERS PERT PESO PEST PHIL PHON PHYS PICA PICE PICK PIED PIER PIES PIKE PILE PILL PIMP PINE PING PINK PINT PINX PIPE PITH PITY PKWY PLAN PLAT PLAY PLEA PLOD PLOP PLOT PLOW PLOY PLUG PLUM PLUS PNXT POCK POCO POEM POET POKE POKY POLE POLL POLO POMP

POND PONE PONY POOL POOP POOR POPE PORE PORK PORT POSE POSH POSS POST POSY POUR POUT PPTN PRAM PRAY PREC PRED PREF PREM PREP PRES PREV PREY PRIG PRIM PRIN PROB PROC PROD PROF PROM PRON PROP PROS PROT PROV PROW PUBL PUCK PUFF PUKE PULE PULL PULP PUMA PUMP PUNK PUNT PUNY PUPA PURE PURL PURR PUSH PUSS PUTT PYRE QUAD QUAI QUAY QUID QUIP QUIT QUIZ QUOT RAAF RACE RACK RACY RADM RAFT RAGA RAGE RAID RAIL RAIN RAJA RAKE RAMP RAND RANG RANI RANK RANT RAPE RAPT RARE RASH RASP RATE RAVE RAZE RAZZ RCAF RCMP READ REAL REAM REAP REAR RECD RECT REED REEF REEK REEL REFL REFR REGT REIN RELY REND RENT REPL REPT RESP REST RETD RHEA RIAL RICE RICH RICK RIDE RIEL RIFE RIFF RIFT RILE RILL RIME RIND RING RINK RIOT RIPE RISE RISK RITE RIVE ROAD ROAM ROAN ROAR ROBE ROCK RODE ROIL ROLE ROLL ROMP ROOD ROOF ROOK ROOM ROOT ROPE ROSE ROSY ROTC ROTE ROUE ROUT ROVE RSVP RSWC RUBY RUDE RUFF RUIN RULE RUMP RUNE RUNG RUNT RUSE RUSH RUSK RUSS RUST SACK SAFE SAGA SAGE SAGO SAID SAIL SAKE SALE SALT SAME SAND SANE SANG SANK SANS SARI SASH SASK SATE SAVE SCAB SCAD SCAN SCAR SCIL SCOT SCOW SCPO SCUD SCUM SEAL SEAM SEAR SEAT SECT SECY SEED SEEK SEEM SEEP SEER SELF SELL SEND SENE SENT SEPN SEPT SEQQ SERA SERB SERE SERF SERG SERV SEXY SHAD SHAG SHAH SHAK SHAM SHED SHEW SHIM SHIN SHIP SHIV SHOE SHOP SHOT SHOW SHPT SHTG SHUN SHUT SICK SIDE SIFT SIGN SIGN SIGH SILK SILL SILO SILT SING SINK SIRE SITE SIZE SKAG SKEW SKID SKIM SKIN SKIP SKIT SLAB SLAG SLAM SLAN SLAP SLAT SLAV SLAW SLAY SLED SLEW SLIM SLIP SLIT SLOB SLOE SLOP SLOT SLOW SLUE SLUG SLUM SLUR SLUT SMAJ SMOG SMUG SMUT SNAG SNAP SNIP SNOB SNOW SNUB SNUG SOAK SOAP SOAR SOCK SODA SOFA SOFT SOIL SOLD SOLE SOLN SOLO SOME SONG SOON SOOT SOPH SORB SORE SORT SOUL SOUP SOUR SPAN SPAR SPAT SPAY SPCA SPCC SPEC SPEW SPIN SPIT SPOT SPRY SPUD SPUN SPUR STAB STAG STAR STAT STAY STBD STEM STEP STER STEW STIR STOL STOP STOW STUB STUD STUN SUBJ SUCH SUCK SUDS SUET SUFF SUIT SULK SUNG SUNK SUPP SUPT SURE SURF SURG SURV SVGS SWAB SWAG SWAM SWAN SWAP SWAT SWAY SWED SWIG SWIM SWUM SYNC SYST TACH TACK TACO TACT TAIL TAKA TAKE TALA TALC TALE TALK TALL TAME TAMP TANG TANK TAPE TAPS TARE TARN TARO TART TASK TAUT TAXI TEAK TEAL TEAM TEAR TEAT TECH TEEM TEEN TELL TEMP TEND TENN TENT TERM TERN TERR TEST TEXT THAI THAN THAT THAW THEE THEM THEN THEW THEY THIN THIS THOU THUD THUG THUS TICK TIDE TIDY TIER TIFF TILE TILL TILT TIME TINE TINT TINY TIRE TNPK TOAD TOGA TOGS TOIL TOKE

TOLD TOLE TOLL TOMB TOME TONE TONG TOOK TOOL TOOT TOPE TOPS TORE TORN TORR TORT TORY TOSS TOTE TOUR TOUT TOWN TRAM TRAP TRAY TREE TREK TREY TRIB TRIG TRIM TRIO TRIP TROD TROT TROW TROY TRUE TSAR TSGT TUBA TUBE TUCK TUES TUFA TUFF TUFT TUNA TUNE TURF TURK TURN TUSK TWIG TWIN TWIT TYKE TYPE TYPO TYRO TZAR UGLY ULNA UNDO UNIT UNIV UNTO UPON URDU UREA URGE URIC USAF USCG USDA USED USES USIA USMC USSR VADM VAIL VAIN VALE VAMP VANE VARY VASE VAST VEAL VEDA VEEP VEER VEIL VEIN VELD VEND VENT VERB VERT VERY VEST VETO VIAL VICE VIDE VIEW VILE VINE VIOL VISA VISE VITA VIVA VOID VOLE VOLT VOTE VTOL VULG WADE WADI WAFT WAGE WAIF WAIL WAIN WAIT WAKE WALE WALK WALL WAND WANE WANT WARD WARE WARM WARN WARP WART WARY WASH WASP WATS WATT WAVE WAVY WAXY WCTU WEAK WEAL WEAN WEAR WEED WEEK WEEN WEEP WEFT WEIR WELD WELL WELT WEND WENT WEPT WERE WEST WHAT WHEN WHET WHEY WHIG WHIM WHIP WHIR WHIT WHIZ WHOM WICK WIDE WIFE WILD WILE WILL WILT WILY WIND WINE WING WINK WINO WIPE WIRE WIRY WISD WISE WISH WISP WITH WIVE WOAD WOKE WOLD WOLF WOMB WONT WOOD WOOF WOOL WORD WORE WORK WORM WORN WORT WOVE WRAP WREN WRIT WRNT XMAS XNTY YANK YARD YARN YAWL YAWN YAWP YAWS YEAR YEGG YELL YELP YETI YMCA YMHA YOGA YOGI YOKE YOLK YORE YOUR YOWL YOYO YRBK YUAN YULE YURT YWCA YWHA ZANY ZEAL ZEBU ZECH ZEPH ZERO ZEST ZINC ZING ZION ZONE ZOOL ZOOM ZUNI

It's a great story, really. You just have to put it in order.​

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deathwizard said:

Skip took acid with zest. Then Skip told Bart. Then Bart took Skip bare.

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deathwizard said:

Not really. It was all in Skip's imagination.

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scarletpeaches said:

Tartan noir.

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