Freelancing isn't get-rich-quick, yet I'm getting hassled. How to deal?

I must be fuckin' around all day up in my room when I'm writing.

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Maybe your mother will back off if she feels you are contributing to the household in one way or another. A paying job isn't the only way. Doing chores around the house, cooking, offering to babysit if you have younger siblings, washing the cars, and so on.

If you are already contributing to the household then...I got nothin'

Start handing her scans of every check that comes in? I've never had to deal with annoying parents in regards to my writing because I built a freelance career after I moved out, while I was working another job that actually paid rent. You might just have to deal with it until you get to a point where you can leave... unless of course you want that second job, but I don't recommend it.

Start treating it as a business. Start treating it with respect and it will show in everything you do. It will show in your demeanor and when you start acting as a professional, your mother will have no choice but to respect you.

Many writers have been in your situation - maybe not with parents, but with a spouse, sibling or friend. Most people don't *get* writing for a living. One day, I finally broke down and told both my sister and my niece how much I make in a year (and in a month) and my sister just responded with a surprised: "oh." My niece decided that writing could be a viable career option. A friend of mine the other day implied that there are months where I have no income; my pride forced me to clear that point up and I tossed numbers at her greater than her base pay. So even when you act like a professional writer with the pay stubs to back it up, you'll encounter people who "don't get it." Your best bet is to ignore them. Who cares what they think?

Now, as far as your mom, who I understand you can't ignore... I'm not picking on you, but *are* you f-ing around in your room, or *are* you writing? Find a means to track your actual work. I couldn't tell you how to reorganize your days or how to make a greater effort without knowing how your days are structured now. And I'd be the last person to tell someone to write 8 hours a day, as I rarely do. (Although I've been known to put in 10+ hours straight on a deadline.) I would also be the last person to tell someone working at home to *dress* like a professional, but some people find that helps for them to take themselves seriously -- and when you take yourself seriously, other people will too. (Trust me on this one!)

the other thing, to get your mother "off your back," if you find you're NOT spending 8 hours writing, get a part time job to make up that difference. And if you are spending 8 hours writing/researching/networking/pitching, contribute in other ways, too. (As Escritora said, if you aren't already doing that.)

Also, you say "even if you did make a full-ass effort," your mother keeps getting on your back. How do you know that if you haven't done it yet? Have you used that approach? That may be all it takes.

Dawn

Establish a schedule for yourself and share it with your mom. Then try and stick to it. If you can't, get a part-time job. If you aren't putting the time in, you can at least be getting paid something in the meantime.

If you can't work at home or find you aren't doing it at home, go to the library.

Set a list of goals (both short-term and long-term) for your writing. Figure out what steps you need to take to reach them. (Write those down too.)

Get a calendar and chart your goals and schedule on there.

If you get distracted by certain things (TV, phone, music), unplug and turn off the stuff.

Talk with your mom about her concerns and share with her your goals and plan for reaching them. Strike a deal with her if you can...and set a timetable for talking about where you are at again at some point in the future.

You have admitted you are only putting in a half a** effort. In that case, your mom isn't necessarily wrong to be "on" you. She can probably tell you aren't doing what you could be to move yourself into a better place.

I'll tell you right now that freelancing requires a gigantic amount of self-discipline and motivation. If you can't create that in yourself, or at least make progress toward it, I would strongly suggest that you try something else, or just do it part-time.

Best of luck to you! There's lots of advice to be had on these forums...feel free to check out what is here and with a little luck you will find the suggestions you need.

For a while, I made sure that my checks got deposited when my husband ran to the bank. So he could see that there really WAS money involved.

I have a LOT of responsibilities at home, and I noticed the writing was getting treated as "my little hobby", KWIM? So I write my blog in the AM (which is paid, I get ad revenue. Not a ton, but enough to pay for high speed internet and cable, anyway.) when he's at work and the kids are doing their thing, and my paid writing happens between 9-11 pm. Sometimes I have to leave the house to accomplish this.

You don't want your mom to think of this as "your hobby". Can you give her hard copies to proof for you, or ask her opinion on something? Even if you totally ignore her advice, having the product of your work in her hand will go a long way towards changing her mind. Maybe you can give her two or three of your articles/essays/short stories, and ask her which you should select for your writing sample?

Perhaps you can ask her to drop some query letters in the mailbox on her way out the door? Get the "naysayers" a little bit involved in your career (not TOO involved) so they don't think it's a "fake" job.

When people ask what you do, tell them you are a writer (not a student).

Make a point of looking for freelance jobs in a more public area, if you can. If you are up at 8 am on Sunday morning, looking at the classifieds online with your laptop in the living room, it might make an impression, KWIM?

The great thing about writing is that it is so often a telecommuting job, so you can trawl the classifieds and job boards in many major cities looking for work, as well as forums and other writerly websites.

lol Great thread!

I totally agree with what has been said before: my Mum didn't bug me when I was doing live interviews (& even if she had to drop me somewhere!) or talking on the phone to people etc.
And I did ask her to proof/read some of my articles too..

Also, even Dad was more impressed if I dressed up well (for the interview - live or by phone!) & when he saw an article with my name in the local newspaper (maybe a venue to explore, just to show your parents - you don't even have to say how much they paid you, it may be enough for them just to see your name there! They don't take the online stuff so seriously as the 'printed word', trust me on that!)

Sorry to hear about them bugging you, I can relate... Imo the more (visible!) effort you put in, the less they will bug you.. The discipline & such is a challenge for me too.. It's easy to get 'lost' on the net.. So if you come up with any good strategies do tell!!
I recently downloaded a timer to pop up when alotted time is up - we'll see how it works! (of course I must remember to set it!)

Matt, your post & this thread inspired me to do the timer thing again - I set it in 30 minute increments & started tracking my time.
It's also helpful if you don't want to call somewhere, but you give yourself 30 minutes to do it somehow it sounds less horrible if you know it will all be over after 30 minutes.. (or whatever time you give yourself..)

I also looked for a planner that has daily entries divided into half-hour segments from 7am-9pm. Kelly James Enger recommends tracking your time like this in her book 6-Figure Freelancing. (not sure, maybe she has even 15-minute increments)

I actually got more things & research done this way. (was embarassed to hang in 'not allowed' internet places due to having to write it down ).

Maybe we need a special thread for this - time management for writers?
I'll go ahead & start it & repost this there.. I hope that's okay..

You don't sound like you are doing badly with your schedule. You sound like you are getting discouraged because for all your effort, you have yet to make the money you'd like to see.
True?

If so, I totally understand. I was there once too. And it is hard to hold your head up and say "I'm a writer" to those "naysayers" when you don't have much cold hard cash to prove it.

My best advice in that case is to really take a look at what you are doing with your queries (I'm assuming you are sending out queries...is that correct?) and see how you might target them better. Comb through this forum and seek out the advice. Ask specific questions. Look at other writer's blogs too. There is good info out there.

You'll get there! Nothing is more discouraging than the beginning of a writing career. If you can keep at it, you will get somewhere.

Hey, Matt, I'm glad you posted this. Today I'd decided to give up freelancing because of being sick and tired of no support. People nagging that I don't bring enough, but yet those same people depend on me fully for their, well...their everything. I read this and started trying to think of things to say to encourage you-then it hit me- it's what I needed to hear, too.

First off, forget the 'it takes time' thing. Stop thinking that you need time to build up a reputation and clips. You don't. Yeah, yeah, someone will come along and say that to get anywhere you need a line of clips a mile long and a solid reputation that is shiny as platinum. Bull.

See, you need to think each day- "THIS could be the day. This IS the day. One of those applications/pitches/queries I sent out has an acceptance in my email." You might have just landed a $1 a word article. You might have sold yourself to a great publication, blogging.

Scour every job listing board you can find, then scour Craigslist-every state, town, country. Send out more applications. Place your own ad in the barter or services offered sections.

Do this everyday.

When you wake up, get dressed as if you were going to go to an outside job. I'm not saying to put on a business suit, but fresh clothes-right down to tying on some shoes, makes you feel as if you are really DOING something instead of surfing. Oh, and Twitter/Facebook/Whateverelsedotcom? Leave'em alone except on BREAKS. That's right- set yourself some breaks. Staring at a screen for hours at home is just as bad as at an outside job.

To appease your mom, ask her to pick up a newspaper. Sift through the help wanted ads- often some of these are horribly written. Look for the worst, then call up the business and offer your services as a writer. Your mother never need know that you are offering writing service, not actually applying for the job in the ad. If she sees you with a pen in hand, circling ads and talking on the phone-then one of those local businesses bite on having you WRITE their jobs ads (or any other ads), then you have a steady job, no? You-work-Mom-Happy.

I'm sure if you sit back and relax, you'll come up with some more creative ways to bring in income from your writing. In the meantime, try to pick up some business cards and pop them on the free boards at your local grocery. Leave some in bathrooms. Plenty other places...

Until the freelancing is paying a fair share of the bills it seems reasonable to also do part time work, or online work that earns a steady if modest amount. Assuming you are an adult, that is.

Aha, Matt - if you're staying home a lot, that might be a factor too..
Do you at least exercise/go jogging/...? it might fill you with energy & your Mum might be less worried about you?
/Kelly James Enger says you need to sign up in a gym or take up some sports/exercise when you decide to be a writer, & I think she may be right!)

When I went away from home for a few days, or even just a couple of days a week on interviews (for articles) etc, things improved too..

So maybe you could try to schedule every week one or two days when you dress up well & go outside in a businesslike manner, ideally for writing-related purposes? (eating out with friends or family doesn't count! )
Can you schedule a block of time when it's okay to eat out? to minimise distractions..

Julie, sorry to hear about lack of support.. You have good ideas!!

This forum is a wonderful support system, maybe you can get tips & inspiration here too?
Even if you decide to take a part time or full time job, you can still continue writing as much as possible!! (some of my most fun short stories were written from lamentation over my work!)

Most of all, don't expect too much support for anything at home, if you live with people who aren't very supportive.. When I had jobs, my lack of co-operation (or boyfriend*/husband, or kids..) was lamented, so don't fret, if you do what they wish they'll surely find another thing to want from you!!

Hey Matt!

lol I need to get out more too, & while I stay away from sugar as it is, have been not exercising much.. - so maybe we all can inspire each other in that too? Good idea with the events section!!
I didn't mean just 'out' out, also to try to schedule interviews or such.. writing-related stuff.. OR you could get a music/gig-reviewing job & go to concerts or other events by assignment?

Believe me, you can do exercise while still on sugar diet, or you can do no exercise even without sugar..!!

As for selling humor - I found I could write funnier & better & with more energy after a walk or so! (or a light jog etc)
So the goal is to walk or jog or rollerblade at least 3x a week, ideally every day..
I'd love to take up dancing or martial arts again someday too.. I forgot almost all the moves, but maybe one can practise anyway? What martial arts did you do?

I have Writer's Market (& a bunch of other writing books) & got totally overwhelmed with them, lol! I think DeLuxe is the cheapest version, book+online access for a year just for 31$ or so..
People say every good library in US has one, so go check yours out!

You also have the benefit of all those magazines in libraries, we don't have so many international/English ones where I live!

Also, I realized my desk was too messy, so I'm now working on decluttering & assigning a proper space to everything..

I'm afraid to send queries too, so maybe we all can inspire & cheer each other in that regard too?

Queries aren't so scary once you get going with them. Start small. Is there a local paper near where you live? Why not get in touch with them and see if you could work there or intern there?

As for ideas...many magazines have online stuff now, so browse the web. Google for writers guildelines. If you find a publication you are interested in writing for, send an e-mail and ask for writers guidelines.

Are you an expert in anything?

Do you have any hobbies?

Think about subjects you could write about. And no, I'm not going to lecture you at all. I know it's scary. But I also know that until you actually start sending queries, you probably won't get published. Networking is great, but do something else too....

I started in this business knowing nothing. Now I'm the co-editor of a blog for writers, I make my living off writing and I am confident that I know what I'm doing in this business.

What type of humor do you write Matt?

hey Matt, sounds like your making progress. Now for my two cents worth (like you need more advice )

About the Writer's Market, if your library will check out the one they have, check it out, take it home read it, browse it, find some markets you're interested in pursuing. Make a list of them, their address and the editor. You can then double check the information when you visit the larger library with a newer Writer's Market. Or, you can go online, check out the magazine your interested in. Many of them have guidelines online now, and you often can get an idea about the type of articles they run. This is what I did when the first time I tried writing. I couldn't afford the Writer's Market price, or couldn't justify it to myself, and the nearest library was 30 miles, not someplace to go on a daily basis. But, by making the list and checking it againist the newer version I learned a lot. Now, I'm working on getting into the parenting market, and I can find most of that info online.

And, like Cate said, you can look into writing for a newspaper. You may not get paid, at least until you've established a track record with them, and they have customers reading your column. Maybe you could write humorously about something you know well. I have a friend who wrote a humorous cooking column about not cooking. The paper ran it for over a year. She didn't get paid, and she wasn't interested in doing it longer (it was an experiment) so she eventually quil rather than try to get the paper to pay. But, if you've got readers, they're buying the paper in part for your column, so the paper will consider paying you. Another option is to find an advertiser (or two or three) who like your writing, and will pay the paper to put your column in and at the end of it they get a small ad. Just an idea for you to consider.

Good luck.

About the exercise. I don't know if you're working to drop pounds, or just get healthier in general, but you need to exercise and work on diet. Exercise doesn't have to be some big deal, a gym or anything. Just make sure you move your body, keep those muscles active, every day. Since I've moved and the nearest town with a gym of any type is 45 miles, I don't do gyms. But, what I do is make sure I move every day. Currently the act of moving has involved mowing, weed eating, working garden, building chicken pen, doing landscape in general. In the winter the dog and I take walks around our 30 acre property. When it's raining or otherwise too yucky for outside work, I try to remember to move in the house, for me that usually means dancing around. Not dancing I'd want anyone to see, but my version. I usually find the "exercise" helps my writing in several ways.

lol ritinrider, you eat weeds?!

Excellent ideas, otherwise!

Matt, you could even write an exercise column about not exercising! eg how you try to avoid moving as much as you can? just an idea!! I bet many people could relate!!
he he, maybe I can write that too!!

Yup, walks can energize you, definitely!
WOW, Taekwondo!
/If you take it up again, maybe you can even write an article on taking up Taekwondo - or another sport/form of exercise - again? /

I now got Writers Market UK too in mail, & am rather overwhelmed with all the options lol.. I'll probably mark & check out the interesting ones online too.. I probably need to set up a limit for browsing the markets etc, eg 1 or 2 hours a day? & for reading the articles & books on writing..

with WM Deluxe, you can just click links (there's soo many magaznes to check out though!) - otherwise you just type it in.. maybe it's good to find markets that are relatively stable, most were probably around since 2006 anyway!! (& some are not included if they get too many submissions or such, but if you're savvy you can still get stuff to them..)

If there is any way I can help with the markets, do tell.. (eg, you make a list of interesting ones & I can look if they are in the current versions too?)
(Oh, & UK Markets were 'for free' cause I got an Amazon.co.uk voucher for some online work.. Maybe you can do stuff like that too?)

I agree with Cate - start local if possible, our local magazine/newspaper was very receptive!
Of course it's good to expand to other markets then.. (if only to stop obsessing about that one..?!)

Cate, how long did it take you to start earning a living as a freelancer, approximately?
It's very inspiring to see you started out knowing nothing too!! Kelly James Enger says something similar, & she went on to earn quite a lot!!

It took me quite a while to get to the point I am at right now, but there were plenty of carrots along the way. I started out part-time, making anywhere from $25 an article to .05/word. Now, my highest-paying gig nets me $3/word. (Wish all my clients were like that!) Each bump up the ladder, each acceptance is exciting. It helps keep you motivated.

Matt...what about writing about gaming? I think there are a number of opportunities out there if you have the tecnhical know-how to do that. (Since I don't, I can't be more specific, but I see ads for that type of writing all the time.) Also, I love the idea of a humor column for the local paper. What can you write about that would be relatable to the majority of adults in the city you live in?

If you find mags you are interested in online, just pick up the phone, call them and ask the editorial department where you should send a query (once you have an idea for one). Since editors change so fast, I do that all the time.

Matt, I thoroughly enjoyed your website. I think you could submit some of the articles to other online publications and get a following - which would help your networking.

Also, I'd rework your "Services" page. It comes off a little like you're not quite sure what to charge or what you are worth.

Sorry for the unsolicited commentary on your site, just trying to help!

Great to hear, Matt!!

Well, my 'feature' article for the local mag got published recently (it was a shared feature, but still!! ), & Dad read it & said he now understands my fretting & obsessing & that it took quite a bit of time to write it, since 'there's a lot of info/data in it'!
/I explained the work & interviews etc I had to do, & he now appreciates my efforts even more!/
Somehow, he seems to appreciate articles with a byline & my full real name more.. Go figure! (I preferred to stay incognito at first..) Perhaps it seems more 'real' to him?

Today, I shared with the family my market-research efforts & strategies too.. So they see I'm doing things & not just dreaming away or something!