Bringing plurals into alignment (features explosions)

slcboston · Jul 30, 2009

Bit of a conundrum in the document I'm editing atm...

I have this line, which isn't mine, I hasten to add:

For instance, gasoline explosions in mines, building collapse on construction sites, accidents while operating a machine; workplace fires and so on.

and as you will note, I have "explosions" "accidents" and "fires" ... with that pesky "collapse" in there, which I've bolded for convenience.

I started to edit it to "collapses" but, while that's a word, I have a hunch it's not going to work here grammatically.

So, as I'm doing this on 6 hours of sleep and not my usual wordsmithing self, I'm throwing this out there for help and suggestions, because at the moment I'm at a loss.

TheIT · Jul 30, 2009

"Building collapses" sounds right to me. "Building" is acting as an adjective to indicate the type of collapses.

dpaterso · Jul 30, 2009

Mmm, makes you look twice, doesn't it?

Tho' what you have is right, I think.

If you're really suffering, there's always "collapsing buildings"

-Derek

slcboston · Jul 30, 2009

see... "building collapses" sounds either like a newspaper headline or someone's attempt to build a collapse. Though how such a thing would be accomplished is beyond me...

but, as I cam over here to check responses, this occurred to me:

buildings collapsing

it doesn't quite fit the formula of the other three, but isn't screaming "this is wrong!" at me, either

TheIT · Jul 30, 2009

Interesting how people read the same words differently. Given the context, I automatically thought building = structure rather than building = to make something. Since the rest of the sentence deals with the types of catastrophes, "collapses" as a noun sounded right.

Chase · Jul 30, 2009

The problem: For instance, gasoline explosions in mines, building collapse on construction sites, accidents while operating a machine; workplace fires and so on.

Other posters give good advice to make "collapses" parallel with explosions, accidents (it should be "while operating machines," not "a machine") and fires.

While you're at it, the semicolon doesn't work. For US publications, semicolons in regular use only separate main clauses. This would work:

For instance, gasoline explosions in mines, building collapses on construction sites, accidents while operating machines are areas of concern; workplace fires number more than all other catastrophes combined.

An exception for semicolon use is for items in a series containing internal commas. The series usually follows a colon:

Greatest loss of life: gas explosions in mines, caves, and tunnels; building collapses, in cities particularly; and workplace fires set by accident, arson, or lightning.

slcboston · Jul 30, 2009

It's a UK publication, not US. But thanks.

Dawnstorm · Jul 30, 2009

1. Personally, I'd just abandon the parallelism and keep "collapse". It's a bit like "fractures, heart attacks, and food poisoning". I'd be more comfortable saying "There have been three instances of building collapse so far," than "There have been three building collapses so far." (It's maybe more obvious if you say "structural collapse" - which is out because of the word-root reptition with "construction sites".)

2. I thought of "buildings collapsing", but that actually clashes with "gasoline explosions" (rather than "gasoline exploding", which you can't really say, because the gasoline is involved in the explosion but doesn't really explode itself...). I'd still prefer the original.

3. I've not been able to come up with an improvement, but I'm not done thinking yet.

4. I don't think the semicolon works. It separates the "and so on" from the list it belongs to.

slcboston · Jul 30, 2009

no, the semicolon doesn't work, and is only there bcs I missed it the first time around

Matera the Mad · Aug 3, 2009

"Building collapse" sounds like a collective term, it's not so bad.

Bringing plurals into alignment (features explosions)

slcboston

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slcboston

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