View Full Version : Beta needed for Fantasy WIP

07-12-2009, 04:54 PM
I'm currently working on a project and I need some serious feedback as this is my first novel, and the first story I plan on pitching to a publisher. I am green, I need help with grammar, plot, POV, characterisation and other miscellaneous input. I've included a synopsis of my WIP.

Awakening The Citadel

Exiled from his homeland for illict castings, the Demi Deos known only as Daemyan has been forced to settle in the mortal world. Never to set foot in the Sphere Realm, he must work with the mortals he encounters and a shady Consul who visits him in visions to rebuild his Citadel so that his people may once again be reuinted with their source.

Arrested by the Lord of the mortals, Daemyan must first gain trust in a world that rejects most if not all magic. Trials and tribulations reign down on the once revered Lord of the Spirit Sphere and only with the help of the mortals and a special clan of immortals may Daemyan save his people.

In short, it is a story about a God of spirits who has been banished for casting forbidden spells and by leaving the Sphere Realm, his people - the "ghosts" of the mortal realm, have been dispersed throughout the spheres of conciousness. He must work with what he has in the mortal realm to reunite his people and return to his God status.

Anyone interested can contact me via PM or here in this thread :)
Thanks in Advance!

Matera the Mad
07-13-2009, 06:36 AM
Judging by the synopsis, you need to work on your grammar a lot. Why don't you post a few short snippets in SYW to get a start?