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View Full Version : Beta reader needed for a children's fantasy :D



squalorcat
07-11-2009, 04:44 AM
Hey!

My story is a 70,000 word rough draft. I can swap stories with you if you want, but I'm not nitpicky (I'll only be able to give you broader feedback about the story in general).

Critique Requested - First of all, I need to know if you liked it, and why. But, I'd love a harsh critique on grammar, character development, continuity, plot... everything.

Critique Tolerance - You can be merciless, but then I'd also enjoy a quick compliment every now and then (I don't have that writers ego I've heard so much about.) That being said, in the longer run, I'd appreciate you being as stark and honest as possible. I promise to continue talking to you ;P

Here's the tentative query letter, if you want to know what it's about (this in itself needs a lot of critique, though):

Joshua Klein isn’t interested in traditional. Armed with an irrepressible imagination and kitchen tongs - his weapon of choice - that mean business, thirteen-year-old Josh has made it so far on his own, in spite of disapproving parents. Then one sundown, he stumbles upon The Fireling, the magical tree that exists only during twilight. It comes with the promise of a wonderland, and transports Josh to a new world.

Stunneroad is a fantastical place, brimming with intrigue and excitement. Learn Geometry? No, thank you. Josh is busy studying Deceptivities, a course taught by a shapeshifter on what it's like to have three forms. Forget soccer: Dreamacts - the game about distinguishing reality from make-believe - is his preferred form of entertainment.

However, not everything in Stunneroad is as wonderful as it seems. Between the demands of his unconventional education and midnight promenades with the devious gnome-men next door, he fails to notice there are more menacing powers lurking in this world: the memories, which are said to corrupt the soul.

When one of Joshua’s newest friends, Tim, falls victim to the memories, Josh and his two closest allies must employ all of their knowledge to help save him, and Stunneroad… before Henry turns on them all.

xXFireSpiritXx
07-11-2009, 05:37 AM
I'd love to have a crack at it :) I have a YA SF/Fantasy novel in beta mode at the moment. So I can trade if your looking for a read. Send me a PM for my email.