Publishing houses consider it 'published' if it is in written form (printed out), and made available to the public. (Many even consider poems posted on the internet or forums as 'publishing' your work.) If you're referring to oral reading, I'm pretty sure that's okay, as long as you don't supply written copies of the work.
I know that "Many even consider poems posted on the internet or forums as 'publishing' your work" as you mention, this is why I deleted my poems a short while after posting them, here and elsewhere.
Thanks,
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