How Do You Deal?

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brainstorm77

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How do you deal with rejection? I admit I've only submitted out once and it did get rejected and while I was a bit down at first when I finally re-read my manuscript, I could see why it was. I've since trunked that one and started others. I wonder how I will react when I get out there once again.
 
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Calla Lily

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Yelling. Swearing. Chocolate. Rereading crits and rewriting where needed.

Purgatory.

And most important: Re-subbing. I have hundreds of rejections in seldom-opened folders. I refused to quit.
 
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brainstorm77

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AW had helped my writing so much. What I use to think was good wasn't. I am working my way through two WIP's now and can't wait to get them to the stage where I can start submitting. I have to admit it's exciting :)
 
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Colin Farrell DVDs.
Chocolate.
Talking to thethinker42 on MSN.
Writing.
 

dawinsor

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It's really hard to deal with all the rejection, but it's a normal part of writing. The thing that helped me the most was to start a new story.
 

DeleyanLee

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I allow myself 24 hours for all the "woe is me" moaning and kvetching I want. All my friends allow me to whine and complain to them for that 24 hours as long as I tell them about the rejection before I start whining and complaining.

At the end of 24 hours, I am required to resubmit/permanetly shelf the project and get back to writing again. No more whining or moaning about it.

It works for me--and my friends.
 

Toothpaste

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A day of self indulgence and many tears shed.

Also an inflated sense of self helps: knowing that I think my work should be published dagnabbit and there ain't no one who's gonna hold me back!
 
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A day of self indulgence and many tears shed.

Also an inflated sense of self helps: knowing that I think my work should be published dagnabbit and there ain't no one who's gonna hold me back!

Oh, you just reminded me.

Yes, folks, sometimes I exchange emails with Toothpaste and she sends me interesting URLs. They always make me feel better.

:D
 

Clair Dickson

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Write more. Write better. Study the rejection, learn (hopefully) and try again.
Write.
Write.
Write.

But when I face any challenge, I have trouble relenting until I have conquered it. Big trouble. You know, can't get the bolt off, knuckles-bleeding-profusely, sweat-running-down-face, still-not-f*cking-giving-up-until-the-bolt-is-off-determination. For better or for worse...
 

jy'lenn

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The same way you deal with everything else in your life that you've been turned down on....

You admit disappointment, accept it as a part of life, and move on. I'd always heard it's difficult, really hard, etc. to get published. If it's what you really want, you accept it a part of that process and keep going. you're writing will improve (hopefully) as you grow and, eventually, you might get published.

if not. at least you gave it your all.

the phrase "die trying" is very appropriate for most writers ;)
 

thethinker42

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How do you deal with rejection? I admit I've only submitted out once and it did get rejected and while I was a bit down at first when I finally re-read my manuscript, I could see why it was. I've since trunked that one and started others. I wonder how I will react when I get out there once again.

Ironically, I got four rejections yesterday for three different books. What fun. Hooray rejections.

Generally, I just tell myself, "Not everyone is going to like it." I allow myself a few minutes to wallow, then move on. I don't like getting them, but I accept that they are an occupational hazard just like getting paper cuts was when I worked in an office. *shrug*

My rules for dealing with a rejection are as follows:
1. It gets resubmitted somewhere THAT DAY (unless the rejection included some advice/pointers that I want to take into consideration; then it gets resubmitted immediately after I've made any changes)
2. I add 2,000 words to my daily goal (usually 5K) for my current WIP. (i.e, if I get 2 rejections in a day, then I add 4,000 to that day's goal).

The reason for #2 is that it gives me something productive into which I can channel my frustrations. At the end of the day, I might have gotten a rejection, but I'm 2K, 4K, or 6K closer to finishing a current WIP. I'm a bit masochistic that way, though.

So...I deal with them, and I do get frustrated, but I try to channel it into something else.
 

Toothpaste

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And this is why I love you. I wish I could do more in return than simply buy your books.
 

WriteOn85

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Deal or No Deal

I think this post from my Wordpress.com blog "Candy's Blog: The Sweet, The Sour, and the Nutty" says it best:

I’ve been writing for 14 years, but the world of publishing is one of those worlds where it comes off as a foreboding, unknown world. Like the real world, anyone who doesn’t know what they’re doing or who to trust in the publishing world can (and will) get lost or, worse–get involved with a shady person/publishing house that will exploit them and leave them bitter and jaded.

Fortunately, I’m in my 20s in an age where The Internet is, to borrow a quote from Homer Simpson, “…the cause of — and solution to — all of life’s problems.” Not long ago, I became a member of a writers’ forum called AbsoluteWrite (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/index.php), which not only specializes in helping aspiring writers create better works, but also to help aspiring writers avoid scam artists and vanity publishers (including PublishAmerica. Yes — the same one that I had “The Writing Sideshow” published under, though, in my defense, “The Writing Sideshow” was the type of work that would have gone to a vanity publisher — or even a self-publisher — anyway, since poetry isn’t that much in demand. If my work-in-progress novel, Died Laughing, were published under PublishAmerica, I’d be pissed and fighting to have my contract canceled with them over it. Died Laughing is the novel I’m saving and grooming (much like a rich, teenage girl getting prepped to be a debutante) to be my breakout hit. To do that, I need a literary agency that has public exposure (and acclaim), has sold works I’ve heard of (or at least works to publishing companies I’ve heard of, like HarperCollins or Harlequin, though I’m not sure if I ever want to publish a romance novel. Maybe an erotica anthology or a romantica [romance/erotica] novel, but not a pure piece of purple prose), and will more than likely reject me 1000 times before I come up with that one manuscript they’re looking for.

Speaking of rejection, I just got a rejection email today (actually, it came yesterday, but I was too scared to read it) from BookEnds, LLC (http://bookendslitagency.blogspot.com/), a literary agency that has worked with Berkley Publishing, Bantam, NAL, SoHo Press, St. Martin’s, Kensington, Harlequin, Pocket Books, Leisure Books, McGraw-Hill, Adams Media, and Beacon Press, to name a few. They even work with the books in the “For Dummies” series and the “Complete Idiot’s Guide” series (I have two books from the “Complete Idiot’s Guide” series, both on writing: one is for penning erotic romance, the other is for penning comedy of all kinds, from sketch and sitcom scripts to greeting card messages and bumper stickers).

On July 5, I submitted the first three chapters to Died Laughing to this agency, since they do work with mysteries, and my work is in the mystery genre. On July 8th, I received this email from them:
Re: Query and Submission

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 7:33 AM
From:
“Jessica Faust” <[email protected]>
Add sender to Contacts

To:
“Canais Young” <[email protected]>





Thank you so much for giving BookEnds a chance to consider your work. While I found your query intriguing I’m afraid I wasn’t sufficiently enthusiastic to ask for more at this time.
As I’m sure you know, publishing is a subjective business and I’m sure there’s another agent out there better suited to your work.



I wish you the best of luck and the greatest success.


Sincerely,



Jessica Faust
BookEnds, LLC
http://www.bookends-inc.com

Now, if I overreacted and took this as a sign that no agency would want my work, I wouldn’t be a writer in the first place. One of the traits of being a writer is to be relentless – or to be more precise, have the kind of tenacity found in overachieving high school seniors on the prowl for a prestigious university or self-deluded ladies’ men who always chalk up a woman rejecting his sleazy pick-up lines to “She’s playing hard to get,” or “She’s a lesbo,” like a 21st century, live-action incarnation of Pepe Le Pew.

No one really knows this, but I was rejected once prior to this incident.
I was ten years old. I had written a short story that a computer teacher thought was worthy of being published in a magazine. I took her advice and had it sent to Highlights magazine (that kiddie magazine that features Goofus and Gallant). A couple weeks later, I got a letter back from them, stating that, while my story was interesting for a 10-year-old, there were two things wrong with it: (a) it was two pages long, which is too long for the reader submission page they had, and (b) it was a little too scary for younger readers (hey, I was reading Goosebumps book back in the day and took my horror cues from that, no matter how cheesy they may seem now). I may not have the physical copy of the letter now, but I do remember the words and use that rejection to improve my work.
And now it’s fourteen years later. During that time, I have had my writing published, but it was mostly poems and mostly done by the school. The closest to major publishing I’ve gotten is when I worked with The Philadelphia Inquirer as part of a short-lived, weekend program called and had an article about my high school’s poetry slam club and how it brings together students of all racial, ethnic, religious, and sexual backgrounds. Now that I’m out of school (at least until I enroll into The Restaurant School), I have nothing but time between looking for a steady job and looking for literary agencies who would like to have me on board. The only thing I’m short on is money

The point of it all is: I don't get disappointed that easy when it comes to submitting writing (the only exception is when I was in college and a teacher I had kept picking apart my critiques on different short stories, but even then, I took that with good nature and aplomb). Rejections are just the publishing world's way of telling me, "You're good, you have potential, but you can stand to be better. Please don't give up." Since this is my first rejection by a literary agency (a competent one at that), that means there's probably plenty more out there I haven't queried yet and I shouldn't give up just because one agency said no.
 
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firedrake

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I've become numb to rejection.

I just get pissed off when no one even bothers to reject me.
 

JenWriter

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Buffy DVDs, ice cream, Purgatory pals, reading, getting really into a new WIP.
 

TinneyH

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My current favorite approach is playing Mafia Wars on Facebook. Very therapeutic. Or, I talk to my husband, who has a very endearing and totally irrational faith in my book.
 

Ken

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... start a thread on AW to garner sympathy. After 30 or so members have said, "Aww, don't worry about it, Ken, you'll succeed next time; so get that ms out again," I begin to buy into the optimistic outlook, and my mood improves, considerably :)
 
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