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View Full Version : I'm a little teapot



scarletpeaches
06-20-2009, 08:18 PM
short and stout.
Here's my handle. Here's my spout.
When the kettle's boiling hear me shout,
"Tip me up and pour me out!"

KTC
06-20-2009, 08:34 PM
Doesn't work for you. Shut up.

scarletpeaches
06-20-2009, 08:34 PM
Well stone the crows! :eek:

KTC
06-20-2009, 08:35 PM
Well stone the crows! :eek:

I'd rawtha stone the hairy little drummerboy.

scarletpeaches
06-20-2009, 08:36 PM
I'm gonna bean you with my teapot.

KTC
06-20-2009, 08:37 PM
I'm gonna bean you with my teapot.

Just pour me a cuppa and shut the hell up. The waitress does not have to have a conversation. She just has to serve a good cuppa. Now. Please.

scarletpeaches
06-20-2009, 08:47 PM
*pours cuppa into KTC's lap*

KTC
06-20-2009, 08:48 PM
*pours cuppa into KTC's lap*

It serves the tea properly or else it gets the hose again.

Button
06-20-2009, 08:48 PM
KTC, baby, never anger a woman holding hot tea...

scarletpeaches
06-20-2009, 08:48 PM
It fears not the hose when it has a kettle of boiling water to hand.

Button
06-20-2009, 08:49 PM
Oh she beat me to it. ;)

KTC
06-20-2009, 08:52 PM
It fears not the hose

Blah, blah, blah.

Yes, it does, Precious, doesn't it? It will get the hose!

Put the fucking tea in the cup!

scarletpeaches
06-20-2009, 08:54 PM
Time of the month is it, Kevster?

KTC
06-20-2009, 08:55 PM
Time of the month is it, Kevster?

I don't know who you're addressing, but I'm Buffalo Bill...you dolt!

scarletpeaches
06-20-2009, 08:58 PM
MODS! MODS! KEVIN SKIPPED HIS MEDICATION AGAIN!

STRAIT-JACKET NEEDED IN AISLE THREE.

KTC
06-20-2009, 09:00 PM
MODS! MODS! KEVIN SKIPPED HIS MEDICATION AGAIN!

STRAIT-JACKET NEEDED IN AISLE THREE.

I was never in aisle three.

scarletpeaches
06-20-2009, 09:02 PM
MacAllister says otherwise.

KTC
06-20-2009, 09:03 PM
MacAllister says otherwise.

pah leese.

BenPanced
06-20-2009, 09:10 PM
*goes through kitchen and hides stabbity things*

KTC
06-20-2009, 09:11 PM
*goes through kitchen and hides stabbity things*

There are at least 43,109 stabbity things in every single household on earth. Only 16,705 of them can be found in the kitchen.

Angie
06-20-2009, 09:13 PM
Hold still, Kev. This will only hurt for a minute won't hurt a bit.

http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd134/mymotherwasahamster/halloween-straight-jacket.jpg

KTC
06-20-2009, 09:14 PM
Hold still, Kev. This will only hurt for a minute won't hurt a bit.

http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd134/mymotherwasahamster/halloween-straight-jacket.jpg

Please. I wore one of these exclusively from Sept 1983 to March 1984. I actually made them a fashion trend, for Chrissake!

Button
06-20-2009, 09:22 PM
Fine. We can take you without it.

http://www.fititis.gr/fititis2/images/stories/homercrazy.gif

Angie
06-20-2009, 09:28 PM
Don't make me borrow Haggis's syringe.

scarletpeaches
06-20-2009, 09:28 PM
Ah, what the hell. This is an insanity tea-party. Break out the hypos!

KTC
06-20-2009, 09:29 PM
Ah, what the hell. This is an insanity tea-party. Break out the hypos!

I'm late! I'm late! I'm late!

aadams73
06-20-2009, 09:30 PM
I think I saw Haggis using the teapot as a chamber pot.

So, I'm gonna pass on the tea.

scarletpeaches
06-20-2009, 09:31 PM
I think I saw Haggis using the teapot as a chamber pot.

So, I'm gonna piss in the tea.

Fixed it for ya.

KTC
06-20-2009, 09:32 PM
Fixed it for ya.

Can't be bought in Britain. Pity.

Angie
06-20-2009, 09:33 PM
Ah, what the hell. This is an insanity tea-party. Break out the hypos!

http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd134/mymotherwasahamster/Syringe-715850.jpg

aadams73
06-20-2009, 09:35 PM
One pill makes you larger...

Angie
06-20-2009, 09:37 PM
One pill makes you larger...

That's what all the messages in my spam folder say.

robeiae
06-20-2009, 09:41 PM
If SP is a little teapot, does that mean Kevin is an an overfed, long-haired leaping gnome?

Button
06-20-2009, 09:46 PM
If SP is a little teapot, does that mean Kevin is an an overfed, long-haired leaping gnome?

Absolutely. Or something like it.

aadams73
06-20-2009, 09:48 PM
That's what all the messages in my spam folder say.

:ROFL:

Mine too. Also they mention being able to hit the curtains. What's up with that?

robeiae
06-20-2009, 09:50 PM
That's what all the messages in my spam folder say.


:ROFL:

Mine too. Also they mention being able to hit the curtains. What's up with that?
I don't understand. What are you talking about?

KTC
06-20-2009, 09:53 PM
If SP is a little teapot, does that mean Kevin is an an overfed, long-haired leaping gnome?

If I'm a gnome, you're a moron. Oh look! I'm a gnome!

robeiae
06-20-2009, 09:54 PM
The "g" is silent, donut boy.

scarletpeaches
06-20-2009, 09:56 PM
If I'm a gnome, you're a moron. Oh look! I'm a gnome!

What a maroon. :rolleyes:

KTC
06-20-2009, 09:58 PM
The "g" is silent, donut boy.

I did not pronounce the G. If you were listening, you would have known this.

robeiae
06-20-2009, 09:59 PM
A tanker ship carrying purple paint collided with one carrying red paint in the Pacific Ocean. It is believed the survivors are marooned...

robeiae
06-20-2009, 10:00 PM
I did not pronounce the G. If you were listening, you would have known this.
You did. You're just trying to cover it up, now.

not_HarryS
06-20-2009, 10:25 PM
short and stout.
Here's my handle. Here's my spout.
When the kettle's boiling hear me shout,
"Tip me up and pour me out!"

Dude, your rhythm's WAY off, and here's why:

I'm a little teapot, short and stout.
Here is my handle, here is my spout.
When I get all steamed up, here me shout:
"Tip me over and pour me out!"

I don't know what the Hell they teach you guys in Scotland. Pft.

spamwarrior
06-20-2009, 10:38 PM
There's a pill for everything under the sun.

Even mad tea parties.

Adam
06-20-2009, 10:49 PM
I use a kettle.

Here's a picture of Colin:

http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/030206/164941__colin_l.jpg

Does the teapot likey?

Button
06-20-2009, 10:49 PM
We're all mad down here.

scarletpeaches
06-20-2009, 10:50 PM
I use a kettle.

Here's a picture of Colin:

http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/030206/164941__colin_l.jpg

Does the teapot likey?

Holy shit, Adam. The teapot definitely likeys.

I didn't have that one in my collection.

*right click*

*save as*

Ah, that's my evening's activities sorted.

Adam
06-20-2009, 10:58 PM
Holy shit, Adam. The teapot definitely likeys.

I didn't have that one in my collection.

*right click*

*save as*

Ah, that's my evening's activities sorted.

*Bows*

I live to serve.

KTC
06-20-2009, 11:07 PM
I fell down the wrong rabbit hole.

spamwarrior
06-20-2009, 11:27 PM
Who's the bloke?

Adam
06-20-2009, 11:30 PM
Who's the bloke?

Colin farrell.

spamwarrior
06-20-2009, 11:31 PM
Never heard of him. You can have him. Not my type.

Adam
06-20-2009, 11:34 PM
Never heard of him. You can have him. Not my type.
:D

More for me. And SP. And tt42.

Hmm, we'll need a rota...

scarletpeaches
06-21-2009, 12:06 AM
Sod off, he's all mine.

And put it this way, he won't be any use to man nor beast once I've [censored].

not_HarryS
06-21-2009, 12:09 AM
Heated up his kettle to the appropriate tea-making temperature?

... WITH YOUR VAGINA!













I'm bad at writing erotica.

scarletpeaches
06-21-2009, 12:09 AM
Um...yeah. But this is Office Party, and Silver King's liable to whack you with his fish. (Not a euphemism).

Or Ol' Bag will come in here and glare at you.

not_HarryS
06-21-2009, 12:11 AM
Then I will post a warning here:

UNDERAGE READERS, PLEASE DO NOT READ THE POST 2 POSTS ABOVE THIS ONE!

DO NOT!!

And that's that.

scarletpeaches
06-21-2009, 12:42 AM
Phew. That oughtta do it. :D

Button
06-21-2009, 12:42 AM
Sod off, he's all mine.

And put it this way, he won't be any use to man nor beast once I've [asked to have many of his babies.].

I took care of that confounded censor thing for you.

Down with censorchips!

scarletpeaches
06-21-2009, 12:44 AM
I took care of that confounded censor thing for you.

Down with censorchips!

Hear ye, hear ye, I do not wish to have Colin Farrell's babies, or the offspring of any man.

Now begone!

robeiae
06-21-2009, 12:59 AM
Then I will post a warning here:

UNDERAGE READERS, PLEASE DO NOT READ THE POST 2 POSTS ABOVE THIS ONE!

DO NOT!!

And that's that.That will never work. You should start a thread to warn people not to look at that particular post.

aadams73
06-21-2009, 01:07 AM
I took care of that confounded censor thing for you.




Them's fighting words. :D

Angie
06-21-2009, 01:46 AM
That will never work. You should start a thread to warn people not to look at that particular post.

With a link to that post so there's no confusion.

benbradley
06-21-2009, 01:47 AM
:popcorn:

scarletpeaches
06-21-2009, 02:04 AM
Colin farrell.

Yeah, and the email bettielee just sent me blew your pic totally out of the water for all time.

Let it henceforth officially be known to all and sundry that bettielee is the shizzle, the dog's bollocks, the cat's pyjamas and on my 'come the revolution I shall kill you last' list.

bettielee
06-21-2009, 02:09 AM
I must be the best.

But I want to say, sparklepeaches sent me a most excellent folder FULL of fantasy art. With no prompting... and without the promise of naughty pictures in return.

I can't believe it got me on the "kill you last list".

and how did I not see this thread? **wanders around, waiting for mac n cheese to cook**

scarletpeaches
06-21-2009, 02:10 AM
I must be the best.

But I want to say, sparklepeaches sent me a most excellent folder FULL of fantasy art. With no prompting... and without the promise of naughty pictures in return.

I can't believe it got me on the "kill you last list".

and how did I not see this thread? **wanders around, waiting for mac n cheese to cook**

Dude, please. Anyone who sents me [censored] like that makes a friend for life.

*wanders off into dreamyland*

Button
06-21-2009, 02:15 AM
Dude, please. Anyone who sents me [their babies so I can play mommy and then practice for my own some day with Colin Farrell] like that makes a friend for life.

*wanders off into dreamyland*

I fixed it for you again. No need to thank me.

*dons her impenetrable armor... and then stands behind aadams*

scarletpeaches
06-21-2009, 02:15 AM
I hate you.

Button
06-21-2009, 02:18 AM
I love you very muchly and will give you cookies.

I saw what you wrote, but I fixed it to say what you meant. >;-)--

Button
06-21-2009, 02:20 AM
Wow. I am a meanie today. *snickerfits her way out of the thread for a while* Enough damage for today.

aadams73
06-21-2009, 02:23 AM
I like cookies.

Angie
06-21-2009, 05:19 AM
What kind of cookies?

scarletpeaches
06-21-2009, 05:21 AM
Turnip-flavour cookies.

thethinker42
06-21-2009, 05:32 AM
I have absolutely nothing to add to this thread, for I am above such random, obscene attempts at humor.

Adam
06-21-2009, 05:41 AM
I'm writing this with an English accent.

thethinker42
06-21-2009, 05:46 AM
I'm writing this with an English accent.

Your accent is SO fake.

Button
06-21-2009, 05:47 AM
I'm writing this with an English accent.

I am writing this with a pretend Cajun accent, to which the Cajun boyfriend says I can't pull off at all and calls me a Yankee.

So I said something naughty to him in Japanese. (I had a French word prepared, but he knows French better than I do.)

benbradley
06-21-2009, 05:52 AM
I have absolutely nothing to add to this thread, for I am above such random, obscene attempts at humor.
Not true. In fact your post is precisely 20 posts below it.

thethinker42
06-21-2009, 06:05 AM
Not true. In fact your post is precisely 20 posts below it.

But it's above yours, so that's all that matters.

aadams73
06-21-2009, 02:09 PM
I have absolutely nothing to add to this thread, for I am above such random, obscene attempts at humor.

As am I.

petec
06-21-2009, 02:40 PM
I absolutely refuse to post on this thread

Pete

thethinker42
06-21-2009, 02:41 PM
I absolutely refuse to post on this thread

Pete

QFT.

petec
06-21-2009, 03:21 PM
short and stout.
Here's my handle. Here's my spout.
When the kettle's boiling hear me shout,
"Tip me up and pour me out!"


I'm a little teapot short and stout,
here is my handle

*puts one hand on hip*

here is my spout

*puts other hand on hip*
*looks confused*

I'm a sugar bowl!

Pete

not_HarryS
06-21-2009, 04:02 PM
Or a fleshy Thigh-Master....

http://www.nbxf.net/upfiles/200739021798221.jpg

thethinker42
06-21-2009, 04:13 PM
I don't want to be a teapot.

I think I'd rather be a Budweiser frog.

Angie
06-21-2009, 04:44 PM
Me too.

Ken
06-21-2009, 04:52 PM
... I want to be the flames beneath the teapot so I can 'lap' Scarlotta :P

scarletpeaches
06-21-2009, 05:09 PM
Dirty swine.

(;))