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View Full Version : Strange reactions: have you had any lately?



aadams73
06-15-2009, 08:31 PM
So, this morning I needed to pick up some things at Target. I get my things in a little red basket, carry them up to the counter, and there are a couple of kids paying for their stuff ahead of me. The cashier is a man somewhere between 40 and 55. He's a good 3 inches shorter than me (I'm 5'3”). He seems friendly.


Until it's my turn.


The kids walk off and I smile and say, “Good morning,” and ask him how he's doing. He gives me the strangest look, a reaction the likes of which I've never encountered before:


Pure hate.


This man is looking at me like he absolutely, positively hates my guts. Like he wishes I'd just drop dead in front of him so he can dance on my bones. Sheer malice.


He mumbles from there on out, focusing on my chest, throws my things in a bag, slaps the change down in front of me(after I put the cash in his hand--which I always do). When I wish him a good day, he says nothing, just keeps on glaring at me.


So what's up with that? Do I look like his ex wife, the one who took his dog, house, and kids? Was my sun dress/ponytail combo offensive? I'm a friendly person and people almost always react to me in kind. So I'm kind of scratching my head. It's not like I ever kicked this guy's puppy. I've never set on him in my life prior to this morning.


Have you ever encountered a strange reaction that comes out of nowhere?

scarletpeaches
06-15-2009, 08:33 PM
Did you forget to arrange your hair to cover your horns again?

aadams73
06-15-2009, 08:34 PM
Did you forget to arrange your hair to cover your horns again?

Damn it. Yes. And my turnip.

melaniehoo
06-15-2009, 08:40 PM
I had a story ready before I read your entire post, and now it's eerily similar. I'm the only non-Mexican (read: white person) in my neighborhood, but most of our neighbors have seen me around and at least know that I live here. YET, every time I go to the corner store this one storeowner just STARES at me. I say buenas dias, she stares. I ask her a question (like how much does this item cost because they don't have price tags and so you have to ask) and she STARES. Doesn't tell me the price, just stares. I ask again and hold up my hand with my money. Usually at this point she says the price.

I've checked with my husband to make sure I'm saying everything correctly (there are times I'm not) but I KNOW how to say "how much?" (cuanto cuesta) Yet she just stares at me like I'm a crazy person. My husband says they are dazzled by my blue eyes (whatever) but it drives me crazy because she sees me all the time. The other storeowner doesn't do this to me, just her.

I'm thinking you reminded this guy of someone he hates -- I'd go with that explanation.

aadams73
06-15-2009, 08:44 PM
Damn, that's seriously oddball, isn't it? You'd think she'd have seen blue eyes on TV before. Or maybe learned a bit of etiquette along the way.

If I encounter someone who doesn't speak the language, I go out of my way to assist without making them feel like they don't fit.

I think you're right--I remind him of his mortal enemy. :D

melaniehoo
06-15-2009, 08:48 PM
LOL, you do look quite fierce.

This town gets A LOT of tourists, so I know she's seen other blue-eyed people. You nailed it with the etiquette issue. I'm in her store spending money, when there are three others on the street -- smile at me goddammit! :D

quickWit
06-15-2009, 08:48 PM
Strange reactions? Well, there was this chick at my register at Target this morning...I think she was coming on to me. She was all 'Good morning! How are you today?' I mean, couldn't she see the wedding ring on my finger?

I know the Target vest is a chick magnet, but some mornings I just feel like a piece of meat.

Whew! I feel better now. :)

scarletpeaches
06-15-2009, 08:52 PM
Damn, that's seriously oddball, isn't it? You'd think she'd have seen blue eyes on TV before. Or maybe learned a bit of etiquette along the way.

If I encounter someone who doesn't speak the language, I go out of my way to assist without making them feel like they don't fit.

I think you're right--I remind him of his mortal enemy. :D

You probably ARE his mortal enemy. :D

It's the turnip down the front of your trousers that does it.

EFCollins
06-15-2009, 08:52 PM
I'm usually the one having strange reactions. People don't quite know what to make of me.

I was dressed up (even wearing a dress! A rare occasion, let me tell you) on Saturday for my brother in law's wedding. I went into a store for cigarettes, asked for my brand and the cashier just stood there staring at me and saying "Well hello." over and over again.

He wasn't happy when I threw my five in his face and told him to "Give me my effing cigarettes before I jump over this and stomp your head in." He didn't say another word. I don't know why. I wasn't even yelling or anything.

aadams73
06-15-2009, 09:04 PM
LOL, you do look quite fierce.

This town gets A LOT of tourists, so I know she's seen other blue-eyed people. You nailed it with the etiquette issue. I'm in her store spending money, when there are three others on the street -- smile at me goddammit! :D

Oh yeah, I'm a real threatening. Usually my cheerful smile means I'm going to chop your head off as soon as I get the chance. :D

People act like I'm odd sometimes too, usually after I open my mouth and this half Aussie half Texan accent comes out. I've even have people lean on the counter, look at me, and say, "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?" They usually follow it up with a gem such as, "What language did y'all speak before you moved here?"

aadams73
06-15-2009, 09:04 PM
Strange reactions? Well, there was this chick at my register at Target this morning...I think she was coming on to me. She was all 'Good morning! How are you today?' I mean, couldn't she see the wedding ring on my finger?

I know the Target vest is a chick magnet, but some mornings I just feel like a piece of meat.

Whew! I feel better now. :)

:ROFL:

aadams73
06-15-2009, 09:06 PM
I was dressed up (even wearing a dress! A rare occasion, let me tell you) on Saturday for my brother in law's wedding. I went into a store for cigarettes, asked for my brand and the cashier just stood there staring at me and saying "Well hello." over and over again.

He wasn't happy when I threw my five in his face and told him to "Give me my effing cigarettes before I jump over this and stomp your head in." He didn't say another word. I don't know why. I wasn't even yelling or anything.

Do these people all come from the same planet or something? I mean seriously, I've worked retail/customer service before and I'd never dream of being so fricken' rude. That guy needed his head stomped in. Or maybe the last customer stomped his head in and he was still reeling.

melaniehoo
06-15-2009, 09:07 PM
Oh yeah, I'm a real threatening. Usually my cheerful smile means I'm going to chop your head off as soon as I get the chance. :D

People act like I'm odd sometimes too, usually after I open my mouth and this half Aussie half Texan accent comes out. I've even have people lean on the counter, look at me, and say, "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?" They usually follow it up with a gem such as, "What language did y'all speak before you moved here?"

Nice. :) My husband's coworkers used to tell him that I "talk funny" because my Spanish isn't perfect. Apparently they thought it was cute, but it didn't make me very excited to keep trying.

Button
06-15-2009, 09:07 PM
*stares*

O.O

quickWit
06-15-2009, 09:10 PM
My husband's coworkers used to tell him that I "talk funny" because my Spanish isn't perfect.

At least it distracted them from your looking funneh. :)

EFCollins
06-15-2009, 09:11 PM
Do these people all come from the same planet or something? I mean seriously, I've worked retail/customer service before and I'd never dream of being so fricken' rude. That guy needed his head stomped in. Or maybe the last customer stomped his head in and he was still reeling.

Maybe. I hate to be stared at, though. It drives me nuts. I mean, I want eye contact when you speak to me, but have some tact. My mother taught me staring was rude and rudeness ticks me off. *shrug* I thought I was the weird one. :D Glad I'm not the only one who gets pithy when something like that happens.

Who knows? Maybe we're all just so uber sexy that they can't help but stare. *poses* No? That's not it? Well, darn.

aadams73
06-15-2009, 09:14 PM
Nice. :) My husband's coworkers used to tell him that I "talk funny" because my Spanish isn't perfect. Apparently they thought it was cute, but it didn't make me very excited to keep trying.

Boy oh boy, you've moved to a foreign country, you're making every effort to assimilate, and you get that? That seriously sucks. IMO you get MAJOR points for making the effort. Not everybody does.

melaniehoo
06-15-2009, 09:14 PM
ROFL!! Button, that's awesome.


At least it distracted them from your looking funneh. :)

*opens eyes really wide*

Take THAT bunneh.

aadams73
06-15-2009, 09:14 PM
Who knows? Maybe we're all just so uber sexy that they can't help but stare. *poses* No? That's not it? Well, darn.

No, that's probably it. *Sucks in cheekbones*

melaniehoo
06-15-2009, 09:16 PM
Who knows? Maybe we're all just so uber sexy that they can't help but stare. *poses*

I like it. :D



Boy oh boy, you've moved to a foreign country, you're making every effort to assimilate, and you get that? That seriously sucks. IMO you get MAJOR points for making the effort. Not everybody does.

To be fair, these people aren't educated and probably have never been taught about things like tact, but still. I do keep trying, if only because it's the only way I can communicate with them.

EFCollins
06-15-2009, 09:16 PM
@aadams73 :ROFL:

aadams73
06-15-2009, 09:19 PM
To be fair, these people aren't educated and probably have never been taught about things like tact, but still. I do keep trying, if only because it's the only way I can communicate with them.

A-ha! Perhaps you should open a charm school. :D

melaniehoo
06-15-2009, 09:22 PM
:roll:

spamwarrior
06-15-2009, 09:22 PM
I get a lot of strange looks... but nothing like that. Usually the strange looks I get are because i did something embarrassing/clumsy/weird/stupid.

cray
06-15-2009, 09:23 PM
Have you ever encountered a strange reaction that comes out of nowhere?



yes.

i thought it was a latex allergy.
it wasn't.

:(

spamwarrior
06-15-2009, 09:23 PM
No, that's probably it. *Sucks in cheekbones*

ROFL!!!!!! :ROFL:

aadams73
06-15-2009, 09:23 PM
yes.

i thought it was a latex allergy.
it wasn't.

:(

Honey, you don't have to wear one when you're on your own.

aadams73
06-15-2009, 09:25 PM
I get a lot of strange looks... but nothing like that. Usually the strange looks I get are because i did something embarrassing/clumsy/weird/stupid.

S'ok, I walked into a pole because I was perving on a cute guy once. My friends thought it was hilarious.

quickWit
06-15-2009, 09:27 PM
S'ok, I walked into a pole because I was perving on a cute guy once.

What.

A.

Spaz.





:roll:

aadams73
06-15-2009, 09:33 PM
I freely admit it. :D

You may all laugh at me. I do.

melaniehoo
06-15-2009, 09:43 PM
I ran into a screen door in front of the guy who later became my long-term college BF. I'm surprised he stuck around. :tongue

aadams73
06-15-2009, 09:46 PM
We're quite the pair! :D

melaniehoo
06-15-2009, 09:48 PM
ROFL!!

Mm-hmm. My husband is a lucky lucky man. :D Fortunately I rarely run into things. But I'm a master at tripping and continuing walking like nothing happened.

aadams73
06-15-2009, 10:07 PM
You know, I don't trip or walk into things that often, but when I do it's always spectacular. Saturday morning I got tossed off a horse. He reared up and I slid right off like a rag doll. While I was lying on the ground laughing, the rotten sod swished over and pinned my ponytail to the ground with his hoof.

spamwarrior
06-15-2009, 10:10 PM
I've tripped, fallen, walked into things in front of the guy I liked. After a while he stopped asking worriedly "are you ok? are you ok?" and started laughing instead.

melaniehoo
06-15-2009, 10:10 PM
Oh crap! That's scary. My best friend broke her arm that way.

aadams73
06-15-2009, 10:23 PM
Fortunately nothing was broken but my pride. He was standing still and I was super-relaxed and talking to my friend, so I just kind of slid off.

Pagey's_Girl
06-16-2009, 03:48 AM
S'ok, I walked into a pole because I was perving on a cute guy once. My friends thought it was hilarious.

I walked into a doorframe because I was too busy talking to a cute guy once. To his credit, he bumped into me because he didn't see it, either.

And over the summer, I had an old man in a perking lot go off on me for a) parking too close to his Caddy (I was two spaces over!) and b) driving "one of them God-damn (very nasty racist term for Hispanic people deleted) foe-reen cars!" Since when is Spring Hill, TN a foreign country? (My Saturn is old enough to have come from the original Spring Hill site...)

brainstorm77
06-16-2009, 03:53 AM
I had a different encounter a while back at work that still makes me smile. We had a elderly nun as a patient. On doing out main nightly round with medications and such I noticed after a brief conversation with her she was reading a Danielle Steel novel and had another on her nightstand. When I commented on her book she replied with a grin, "Everyone reads Danielle Steel." I almost laught right out loud cause for that moment I felt like I was in some weird commerical or something like that. :)

Ken Schneider
06-16-2009, 03:53 AM
Yes. I thought I smelled Eau De Shelagh over on the the novels board earlier.

brainstorm77
06-16-2009, 03:54 AM
I walked into a doorframe because I was too busy talking to a cute guy once. To his credit, he bumped into me because he didn't see it, either.

And over the summer, I had an old man in a perking lot go off on me for a) parking too close to his Caddy (I was two spaces over!) and b) driving "one of them God-damn (very nasty racist term for Hispanic people deleted) foe-reen cars!" Since when is Spring Hill, TN a foreign country? (My Saturn is old enough to have come from the original Spring Hill site...)

I ran a redlight looking at a guy with a friend in the car who then mad fun of me afterwards.:tongue

Ken Schneider
06-16-2009, 03:57 AM
I walked into a doorframe because I was too busy talking to a cute guy once. To his credit, he bumped into me because he didn't see it, either.

And over the summer, I had an old man in a perking lot go off on me for a) parking too close to his Caddy (I was two spaces over!) and b) driving "one of them God-damn (very nasty racist term for Hispanic people deleted) foe-reen cars!" Since when is Spring Hill, TN a foreign country? (My Saturn is old enough to have come from the original Spring Hill site...)

I hope you told him that your car was made in your state, your doors aren't the wide to hit his gas guzzler. And, you know that the older people hate everyone and everything, because they can't remember how to act in public.

brainstorm77
06-16-2009, 03:58 AM
Not to mention I've gotten tongue tied more than once at work talking to a handsome doctor or med student. :)

JoNightshade
06-16-2009, 03:59 AM
I had a different encounter a while back at work that still makes me smile. We had a elderly nun as a patient. On doing out main nightly round with medications and such I noticed after a brief conversation with her she was reading a Danielle Steel novel and had another on her nightstand. When I commented on her book she replied with a grin, "Everyone reads Danielle Steel." I almost laught right out loud cause for that moment I felt like I was in some weird commerical or something like that. :)

Derail: My grandmother gave me a Danielle Steel novel when I was about 12. :Wha:

Cranky
06-16-2009, 04:04 AM
Maybe. I hate to be stared at, though. It drives me nuts. I mean, I want eye contact when you speak to me, but have some tact. My mother taught me staring was rude and rudeness ticks me off. *shrug* I thought I was the weird one. :D Glad I'm not the only one who gets pithy when something like that happens.


Thank gawd! I'm not the only one! :D

Normally, I'm always nice and polite, but when someone stares, I get hostile, I can't help it. The laser beams of death just come straight out of my eyes and if they're lucky, all I'll say is, "Gotta problem?!"

I can feel my hackles raising just thinking about it. Grrrrr! Completely irrational, but there you go.

Ken Schneider
06-16-2009, 04:13 AM
Thank gawd! I'm not the only one! :D

Normally, I'm always nice and polite, but when someone stares, I get hostile, I can't help it. The laser beams of death just come straight out of my eyes and if they're lucky, all I'll say is, "Gotta problem?!"

I can feel my hackles raising just thinking about it. Grrrrr! Completely irrational, but there you go.

Maybe it's those big, beautiful, brown, bedroom eyes, that have them in a trance. :)

I felt the same way when I first went to Germany. I was in the Army back in '80.
I got on the streetcar and the people just stared at me as long as they wanted, then looked away and never looked again. At least that ride.
I asked someone about it and they told me staring was normal in their culture.

It doesn't bother me now, here in the U.S.. I stare right back. I really don't care what people think of me. The person staring at me has their own big ass or burger hanging from their nose, or pimple on their face to worry about, and worse.

aadams73
06-16-2009, 04:32 AM
Thank gawd! I'm not the only one! :D

Normally, I'm always nice and polite, but when someone stares, I get hostile, I can't help it. The laser beams of death just come straight out of my eyes and if they're lucky, all I'll say is, "Gotta problem?!"

I can feel my hackles raising just thinking about it. Grrrrr! Completely irrational, but there you go.

That's when you start scratching your nose with one middle finger. :D

Ken Schneider
06-16-2009, 04:38 AM
That's when you start scratching your nose with one middle finger. :D

I might get blasted for this, but.

Is it insecurity that makes people not like being stared at?

Do they feel something about themselves that they don't like and think others see it?

aadams73
06-16-2009, 04:44 AM
I might get blasted for this, but.

Is it insecurity that makes people not like being stared at?

Do they feel something about themselves that they don't like and think others see it?

No, it's the rudeness. And it's also an animal instinct. Staring down a dog will either make them aggressive or uncomfortable. People are the same.

I'm pretty secure about myself and I don't like being stared at. Which is a very different think to someone simply looking, or the admiring gaze from a man who finds me attractive.

Ken Schneider
06-16-2009, 04:49 AM
No, it's the rudeness. And it's also an animal instinct. Staring down a dog will either make them aggressive or uncomfortable. People are the same.

I'm pretty secure about myself and I don't like being stared at. Which is a very different think to someone simply looking, or the admiring gaze from a man who finds me attractive.

Okay. I think it's face staring then that bothers most people?

I can look at a nice butt for a long time. Is that rude? :)

aadams73
06-16-2009, 04:52 AM
Okay. I think it's face staring then that bothers most people?

I can look at a nice butt for a long time. Is that rude? :)

Yes, it's the face staring. It's an animalistic thing. It's confrontational and typically aggressive in the wild(and at the supermarket--same thing, really).

Butt staring is ok. I've been known to do a lot of that although I'm prefer a nice chest, shoulders and arms. But that's just me. :D

Ken Schneider
06-16-2009, 06:48 AM
Yes, it's the face staring. It's an animalistic thing. It's confrontational and typically aggressive in the wild(and at the supermarket--same thing, really).

Butt staring is ok. I've been known to do a lot of that although I'm prefer a nice chest, shoulders and arms. But that's just me. :D

Some would say butt staring is animalistic. Since I'm more refined I prefer to say instinctive.

C.bronco
06-16-2009, 06:51 AM
I just think the clerk was having a stroke, and you happened to be there.

brokenfingers
06-16-2009, 07:12 AM
Have you ever encountered a strange reaction that comes out of nowhere?Yes. Usually when I belch real loud in a restaurant I get the strangest looks.

Freaks.

maestrowork
06-16-2009, 12:18 PM
Boy oh boy, you've moved to a foreign country, you're making every effort to assimilate, and you get that? That seriously sucks. IMO you get MAJOR points for making the effort. Not everybody does.

I agree. That's rude, actually. I know I have an accent but since I came to the US, hardly anyone has said to me, "you talk funny." They realized I wasn't a native. The only times when people commented on my accent was when they didn't expect it -- as Roger once said to me, I don't type with an accent. So sometimes people who met me for the first time would be surprised by my accent. To me, I understand the great effort of learning and using a new language and I think it's extremely rude for people to put someone down because they speak/write imperfectly.

maestrowork
06-16-2009, 12:20 PM
I often met people who treated me like they knew me (but we were really perfect strangers). Maybe I have a face that reminds them of someone? I don't know. Also, it's kind of weird to go to a cafe or restaurant which I haven't visited for months, sometimes years, and the workers there remember my name or at least bits of information about me. It's kind of unnerving. Like I just had this audition and I haven't seen that casting director for at least 3 years, and the first thing she said was, "hi, Ray, are you still doing commercials?" How the heck could she remember my name?

Pagey's_Girl
06-16-2009, 06:53 PM
Yes. Usually when I belch real loud in a restaurant I get the strangest looks.

Freaks.

So that was you in IHOP that time? We blamed one of the engineers from Jack's department.

Stew21
06-16-2009, 06:59 PM
My best strange reaction recently was at Wal-mart. I was going out to breakfast and then golfing with friends and had to get up rather early in the morning to stop by the 24 hour walmart to get some golf balls and tees. We also agreed on the need for bloody marys so I had to get that, too.
While I was in the store some of the golf companions called me to find out where I was. I let them know what I was doing, and had to get beer for them as well.

Standing in a checkout line at walmart at 6:30 AM (wearing an Up You're's hat, btw, cray), with bloody mary mix, a fifth of vodka, a bag of ice, 2 packs of beer, golf balls and a bag of golf tees will earn quite the reaction.

I got "the look". Said, "what?" she said, "oh. I was just looking to see if you're old enough." Uh...right.
It could have been the hat, but mostly I think people don't buy beer and vodka at 6:30 AM.

roonil_wazlib
06-16-2009, 07:04 PM
Not super strange, but where I work we get a lot of people in asking if we're hiring. I politely tell them that, no, we're not hiring, but they're free to fill out an application, if they'd like.

For some strange reason, one of the most common reactions I get is a stare. No words, just a blank stare for about a minute before they blink at me, mutter thanks, take the application and leave.

poetinahat
06-16-2009, 07:07 PM
I can look at a nice butt for a long time. Is that rude? :)
If it's your own? Yeah. Especially if you provide "commentary" on it.

maestrowork
06-16-2009, 07:20 PM
If it's your own? Yeah. Especially if you provide "commentary" on it.

I think your comment makes his ass look big.

poetinahat
06-16-2009, 07:20 PM
Standing in a checkout line at walmart at 6:30 AM (wearing an Up You're's hat, btw, cray), with bloody mary mix, a fifth of vodka, a bag of ice, 2 packs of beer, golf balls and a bag of golf tees will earn quite the reaction.

I got "the look". Said, "what?" she said, "oh. I was just looking to see if you're old enough." Uh...right.
It could have been the hat, but mostly I think people don't buy beer and vodka at 6:30 AM.
Quoted for perfection.

*hums "Don't You Forget About Me"*

tjwriter
06-16-2009, 07:48 PM
I keep looking at this title and thinking, yeah, I've had a lot of strange reactions to things lately. I haven't felt like myself at all.

Seeing as I just saw myself for the first time in a long time six months ago, I'm not surprised.

rhymegirl
06-16-2009, 08:51 PM
Yes. Usually when I belch real loud in a restaurant I get the strangest looks.

Isn't he just precious?

not_HarryS
06-16-2009, 08:57 PM
I like it. :D




To be fair, these people aren't educated and probably have never been taught about things like tact, but still. I do keep trying, if only because it's the only way I can communicate with them.

I wouldn't be so fast to put it down to lack of education or tact. Some things are just cultural.

I've lived in China for almost three years now, and I still get stared at every day. Not by everybody, mind you, nor a majority of people... but there are quite a few who stare. In addition, I still get asked if I know how to use chopsticks, every day. I have people jumping in front of me, yelling HALLO! and then running away. Every day. And I get people laughing at me every freaking day.

But they stare at each other too. And they laugh at each other too. It's just THAT kinda place. If someone looks weird, people point, stare, laugh and talk about how weird said person looks in REALLY loud voices. And the object of all the pointing, laughing, staring and gossiping doesn't seem to give too much of a shit.

As for why some people stare at me, they're not used to foreigners. Yes, there are quite a few foreigners in Beijing, but there are also quite a damn few Chinese people as well. We're a very small minority in a country that, in terms of eye and hair color, is pretty much homogenous. And in spite of the fact that there are foreigners running around everywhere on their TV and in the richer portions of town, and in spite of the fact that people over here practically worship Hollywood and western concepts of beauty, when there's a living, breathing, tall-ass white dude standing next to them in the subway, some people fucking stare. It's not rude; they're just surprised. Or curious.

There's a person who owns a little convenience store by my apartment. I go there every day. Every day I talk to him in Chinese. Every day he tells me that he doesn't speak English. Every day I remind him that I am, in fact, speaking to him in Chinese. Every day he realizes this fact and still manages to use a remarkably simian sort of sign language to tell me to get the fuck out of his shop. Hahah. And I have damn good Chinese.

Sometimes you just gotta learn to accept it and laugh. Not everywhere is as melting-pottacular as America.

cray
06-16-2009, 08:59 PM
My best strange reaction recently was at Wal-mart. I was going out to breakfast and then golfing with friends and had to get up rather early in the morning to stop by the 24 hour walmart to get some golf balls and tees. We also agreed on the need for bloody marys so I had to get that, too.
While I was in the store some of the golf companions called me to find out where I was. I let them know what I was doing, and had to get beer for them as well.

Standing in a checkout line at walmart at 6:30 AM (wearing an Up You're's hat, btw, cray), with bloody mary mix, a fifth of vodka, a bag of ice, 2 packs of beer, golf balls and a bag of golf tees will earn quite the reaction.

I got "the look". Said, "what?" she said, "oh. I was just looking to see if you're old enough." Uh...right.
It could have been the hat, but mostly I think people don't buy beer and vodka at 6:30 AM.


:roll:

after reading this post, i'm now 100% confident that no one was more deserving of that hat than you, trish. :D that's one hell of a grocery order at 6:30am!!

Cranky
06-16-2009, 09:01 PM
That's when you start scratching your nose with one middle finger. :D

"Look into my eye." :roll: Aliens, for those who are curious.


I might get blasted for this, but.

Is it insecurity that makes people not like being stared at?

Do they feel something about themselves that they don't like and think others see it?

Possibly. But mostly, I think it's just rude. I mean, if you're going to make eye contact with someone, you'd best smile or something, IMO. At least if you're not trying to be hostile.

cray
06-16-2009, 09:02 PM
Possibly. But mostly, I think it's just rude. I mean, if you're going to make eye contact with someone, you'd best smile or something, IMO. At least if you're not trying to be hostile.

i'm staring at you right now, crankypants.
:D

quickWit
06-16-2009, 09:03 PM
*stares at Cranky...menacingly*

:hi:


ETA: Fuck, man...you stepped all over my hilarious joke and stuff.

Cranky
06-16-2009, 09:03 PM
*raises fist*

You better be smiling, battery boy. Or else...

*kicks teh bunneh, just on principle*

Cranky
06-16-2009, 09:05 PM
:roll:

maestrowork
06-16-2009, 09:06 PM
I smile a lot, while I punch you in the face.

Yes, I'm talking to you, battery brain.

melaniehoo
06-16-2009, 09:12 PM
I wouldn't be so fast to put it down to lack of education or tact. Some things are just cultural.

I've lived in China for almost three years now, and I still get stared at every day. Not by everybody, mind you, nor a majority of people... but there are quite a few who stare. In addition, I still get asked if I know how to use chopsticks, every day. I have people jumping in front of me, yelling HALLO! and then running away. Every day. And I get people laughing at me every freaking day.

But they stare at each other too. And they laugh at each other too. It's just THAT kinda place. If someone looks weird, people point, stare, laugh and talk about how weird said person looks in REALLY loud voices. And the object of all the pointing, laughing, staring and gossiping doesn't seem to give too much of a shit.

As for why some people stare at me, they're not used to foreigners. Yes, there are quite a few foreigners in Beijing, but there are also quite a damn few Chinese people as well. We're a very small minority in a country that, in terms of eye and hair color, is pretty much homogenous. And in spite of the fact that there are foreigners running around everywhere on their TV and in the richer portions of town, and in spite of the fact that people over here practically worship Hollywood and western concepts of beauty, when there's a living, breathing, tall-ass white dude standing next to them in the subway, some people fucking stare. It's not rude; they're just surprised. Or curious.

There's a person who owns a little convenience store by my apartment. I go there every day. Every day I talk to him in Chinese. Every day he tells me that he doesn't speak English. Every day I remind him that I am, in fact, speaking to him in Chinese. Every day he realizes this fact and still manages to use a remarkably simian sort of sign language to tell me to get the fuck out of his shop. Hahah. And I have damn good Chinese.

Sometimes you just gotta learn to accept it and laugh. Not everywhere is as melting-pottacular as America.

I agree with your logic, but there are two factors with these two people that go against this.

1 - They work in a hotel that has foreigners all year long. They are very familiar with non-Mexicans.

2 - They really are uneducated. My husband was making change for them one time and they thought he was cheating them, so it wrote it all out on paper and they threw up their hands in frustration. Rather than try to figure it out (he was honestly trying to help them) they said it was too hard and couldn't do it. We're talking basic subtraction with money.

cray
06-16-2009, 09:12 PM
quick, ray, look! -----------> :e2moon:

melaniehoo
06-16-2009, 09:14 PM
Is it insecurity that makes people not like being stared at?

Do they feel something about themselves that they don't like and think others see it?

Not at all. I may start to wonder if there's something on my face, but that's about it.

I thought I'd share that I went to the grocery store this morning (the supermarket, not the one in my neighborhood) and when it was my turn I said good morning to the cashier. She started scanning my things but didn't say anything so I said good morning again, but much louder. She finally looked at me and responded. I guess I should be happy she wasn't staring, but come on...

not_HarryS
06-16-2009, 09:17 PM
2 - They really are uneducated. My husband was making change for them one time and they thought he was cheating them, so it wrote it all out on paper and they threw up their hands in frustration. Rather than try to figure it out (he was honestly trying to help them) they said it was too hard and couldn't do it. We're talking basic subtraction with money.

Is it possible that they were trying to cheat him out of money, and were planning to do so by capitalizing on your assumption that they're uneducated?...

Happens here a lot :)

quickWit
06-16-2009, 09:20 PM
quick, ray, look! -----------> :e2moon:

I certainly hope you meant "Look Ray, and with great haste!", 'cause I'm not looking, and you can't make me.

EFCollins
06-16-2009, 09:24 PM
I might get blasted for this, but.

Is it insecurity that makes people not like being stared at?

Do they feel something about themselves that they don't like and think others see it?

To answer this, no. There's nothing wrong with me and from what I've been told, I'm not too bad to look at. That isn't the problem.

See, when a person stares, it makes them seem ill-mannered. No, I said that wrong. It makes them ill-mannered. I don't stare at people and I expect the same courtesy. I expect, no, I demand the same respect. I won't be disrespected by anyone. Staring is rude and I hate it. I teach my children not to stare. I was taught not to stare. Is it so hard for people to practice the things they were taught? I firmly do not believe that i looked so damned hot in that dress that they guy had to stand there, open mouthed and mumble "Well hello." the way he did. Crass behavior is unacceptable. Period.

Ken
06-16-2009, 09:28 PM
attn good-natured Aadams:

... saying hi and being friendly to people you don't know is something that simply isn't done anymore. If you do this people will look at you with suspicion, as if you are up to something, or they will take you for mad. The proper way to greet a stranger these days is to scowl, especially if you reside in a city.

maestrowork
06-16-2009, 10:10 PM
quick, ray, look! -----------> :e2moon:

I'm tired of looking at your face, battery breath.

melaniehoo
06-16-2009, 10:13 PM
Is it possible that they were trying to cheat him out of money, and were planning to do so by capitalizing on your assumption that they're uneducated?...

Happens here a lot :)

Um, no. I'm trying really hard not to bad-mouth them here so you'll just have to trust me when I say they are very unintelligent.

And we're talking 30 pesos. I don't think that's worth a grand scheme.

ETA: and when I say uneducated, they stopped school after elementary.

Stew21
06-16-2009, 10:14 PM
:roll:

after reading this post, i'm now 100% confident that no one was more deserving of that hat than you, trish. :D that's one hell of a grocery order at 6:30am!!


Considering I had to be coerced into golfing because I am that bad I couldn't imagine golfing without that hat. The 6:30 booze and balls run made it all the better.

It had to be done. ;)


Trish, doesn't wear that hat in the library.

not_HarryS
06-16-2009, 10:21 PM
Considering I had to be coerced into golfing because I am that bad I couldn't imagine golfing without that hat. The 6:30 booze and balls run made it all the better.

It had to be done. ;)


Trish, doesn't wear that hat in the library.

Ah... good ol' 6:30 booze and balls runs.

...

I don't golf :D

brainstorm77
06-16-2009, 10:23 PM
attn good-natured Aadams:

... saying hi and being friendly to people you don't know is something that simply isn't done anymore. If you do this people will look at you with suspicion, as if you are up to something, or they will take you for mad. The proper way to greet a stranger these days is to scowl, especially if you reside in a city.

Depends on where you live. I live in a small city in Canada and I find people very friendly here and I try to be the same when interacting with anyone.

Stew21
06-16-2009, 10:24 PM
Ah... good ol' 6:30 booze and balls runs.

...

I don't golf :D


I know. :ROFL:



(and I thought you'd like the way I phrased that) teehee.

quickWit
06-16-2009, 10:35 PM
I live in a small city in Canada and I find people very friendly here and I try to be the same when interacting with anyone.

Pfft! Weirdo.

:D

brainstorm77
06-16-2009, 10:39 PM
Pfft! Weirdo.

:D

Cept for when someone is rude. Then I can turn like the wind.:tongue

quickWit
06-16-2009, 10:50 PM
Cept for when someone is rude. Then I can turn like the wind.:tongue

I can break like the wind. So there. :)









*toots*

brainstorm77
06-16-2009, 10:56 PM
I can break like the wind. So there. :)









*toots*

You almost made me spit my coffee and trust me I needed a laugh today :)

Red_Dahlia
06-16-2009, 11:03 PM
I'd say this was a strange reaction, but it's happened to me about 5 times in the past year, so I guess it's pretty normal by now....

I go to the checkout lane at Walmart with my cart of groceries, and while I'm waiting to pay, the cashier looks at me and goes, "How old are you?!?" The weird thing is that my age doesn't matter, I don't have anything that I wouldn't be allowed to by if I was underage, but still they ask. Then they inform me that I look like I'm somewhere around 14-15, and I get the oh-so-lovely speech about how I'm going to appreciate looking young one day.

aadams73
06-16-2009, 11:05 PM
attn good-natured Aadams:

... saying hi and being friendly to people you don't know is something that simply isn't done anymore. If you do this people will look at you with suspicion, as if you are up to something, or they will take you for mad. The proper way to greet a stranger these days is to scowl, especially if you reside in a city.

*Practices scowly face*

You know what astounds me? I walk my dog every day and we encounter just about everyone in the neighborhood sooner or later. I was raised to be polite and friendly, and it's just my way to greet people with a smile and a "good morning." And in this neighborhood people will look stunned when I do that, like I've caught them doing something super sekrit. Normally I'll get a grunt that resembles a greeting in return, but often it's deer in the headlights. Amazing...

Maybe I need to put clothes on before I go walking.

aadams73
06-16-2009, 11:09 PM
I agree. That's rude, actually. I know I have an accent but since I came to the US, hardly anyone has said to me, "you talk funny." They realized I wasn't a native.

I get this ALL the time. Although, it's always positive, like "OMG I love your accent!" I've had people ask me to keep talking because they love my voice/accent. But it's beyond old now. I just want to pay for my shit and GO.

One time the cashier at the supermarket held up my cantaloupe and asked, "Do you have these where you come from?" Like I was from freakin' Mars.

They're still looking for her body.

aadams73
06-16-2009, 11:10 PM
I can break like the wind. So there. :)









*toots*

:ROFL: I know you didn't really fart because the toes of your pantyhose didn't flare.

aadams73
06-16-2009, 11:13 PM
. I have people jumping in front of me, yelling HALLO! and then running away.

:roll: Sorry, but that's the funniest damn mental image.

quickWit
06-16-2009, 11:22 PM
:ROFL: I know you didn't really fart because the toes of your pantyhose didn't flare.

1 word...

garter. belt.

:D

aadams73
06-16-2009, 11:23 PM
1 word...

garter. belt.

:D

So we're talking stockings not pantyhose then?

I'm giving you a really weird look right now.

quickWit
06-16-2009, 11:25 PM
So we're talking stockings not pantyhose then?

If that means I'd be wearing a garter belt so that when I tooted it wouldn't make the toes flare, then yes. Yes, we are.

:)

melaniehoo
06-16-2009, 11:28 PM
nOe time the cashier at the supermarket held up my cantaloupe and asked, "Do you have these where you come from?" Like I was from freakin' Mars.

They're still looking for her body.

OMG, I moved from Michigan to DC in 10th grade and a girl in my new school asked me if they had cars in Michigan. When I realized she was serious, I picked my jaw up from the floor and said "have you ever heard of Motor City?" Apparently not.


*sprays air freshener*

aadams73
06-16-2009, 11:32 PM
OMG, I moved from Michigan to DC in 10th grade and a girl in my new school asked me if they had cars in Michigan. When I realized she was serious, I picked my jaw up from the floor and said "have you ever heard of Motor City?" Apparently not.


Oh dear, that's just all kinds of sad, isn't it? I'm constantly amazed by people who know so little about their own country.

melaniehoo
06-16-2009, 11:35 PM
Oh dear, that's just all kinds of sad, isn't it? I'm constantly amazed by people who know so little about their own country.

Yes, it's scary. :D

aadams73
06-16-2009, 11:36 PM
If that means I'd be wearing a garter belt so that when I tooted it wouldn't make the toes flare, then yes. Yes, we are.

:)

And speaking of scary...

:D

quickWit
06-16-2009, 11:38 PM
And speaking of scary xexay...

Fixed it for ya.

*flexes glutes*

:D

melaniehoo
06-16-2009, 11:46 PM
*pours bleach in eyes*

quickWit
06-16-2009, 11:58 PM
I can't help but notice that no one's made mention of a boyfriend yet.

:D

*flexes pancreas*

melaniehoo
06-17-2009, 12:02 AM
*thwaps the bunneh's ears*

aadams73
06-17-2009, 12:22 AM
I just remembered, I have a boyfriend! Srsly!

*Dangles bunny foot in front of the bunny*

quickWit
06-17-2009, 12:40 AM
I just remembered, I have a boyfriend! Srsly!

So...what are you saying?








:roll:

Sore funneh

aadams73
06-17-2009, 12:41 AM
It means I'm off the market, Bucko. His name is, uh, Beefcake Poundyerface.

He eats bunneh spleens for breakfast. Srsly.

Mr Flibble
06-17-2009, 12:46 AM
Oh I get weird reactions sometimes. I stick out my tongue at them :D


attn good-natured Aadams:

... saying hi and being friendly to people you don't know is something that simply isn't done anymore. If you do this people will look at you with suspicion, as if you are up to something, or they will take you for mad. The proper way to greet a stranger these days is to scowl, especially if you reside in a city.

Why I don;y live in a city. That's always seemed the distinction for me. In cities people never look you in the eye unless they have to. Or they're on the pull. Just as rude. People here are (almost) always friendly and will stop for a chat at any excuse. I'll talk to anydamnbody!



One time the cashier at the supermarket held up my cantaloupe and asked, "Do you have these where you come from?" Like I was from freakin' Mars.

Lol I had that in Florida A LOT too. Yes, strangely I have seen a mango.

And 'Bet it's real hot over here compared to where you came from. Bet it's nice to see the sun. Is it still snowing back home?' Answer? No, it hasn't snowed in like five years ( or hadn't then) and the day I left was hotter than this....

And no, we don't have freaking wolves! And yes, mostly we do have indoor toilets. *facepalm*

The 'English pub' at Disney was hilarious though.

Ken Schneider
06-17-2009, 12:48 AM
I think your comment makes his ass look big.

Well, since you've seen it Ray, or had the opportunity, you tell 'um it ain't so.

quickWit
06-17-2009, 01:02 AM
It means I'm off the market, Bucko. His name is, uh, Beefcake Poundyerface.

He eats bunneh spleens for breakfast. Srsly.

Aww, he sounds nice. :)

DL Hegel
06-17-2009, 03:35 AM
did some one say rabbit stew?

aadams73
06-17-2009, 04:18 AM
Aww, he sounds nice. :)

He's lovely, especially when he's eating bunny spleens and biting their ears off.

aadams73
06-17-2009, 04:19 AM
did some one say rabbit stew?

I'm allergic to bunnies. Seriously. Guinea pigs, too.

Probably the stew would make us all sick.

Pagey's_Girl
06-17-2009, 04:46 AM
Not super strange, but where I work we get a lot of people in asking if we're hiring. I politely tell them that, no, we're not hiring, but they're free to fill out an application, if they'd like.

For some strange reason, one of the most common reactions I get is a stare. No words, just a blank stare for about a minute before they blink at me, mutter thanks, take the application and leave.

I get people coming in off the street looking for everything from the military recruiting center to their gynecologist to asking if the call center (which moved to California in 2006) is hiring. I swear, I'm never going to get used to this street-level thing. (My previous reception jobs were all at companies that had sizeable campuses, not an entrance on the main street in town.)

Ken
06-17-2009, 05:13 AM
People here are (almost) always friendly and will stop for a chat at any excuse.

... sounds like my kind of town! :-)

Judg
06-17-2009, 05:17 AM
I found out today that somebody had blocked me on Twitter. :Huh: Can't for the life of me figure out why.

Seriously, not everybody has been taught not to stare. There are cultural differences.

When we were newlyweds, we went to visit my husband's hometown, a little place in Italy where the native language is Albanian. We were walking down the street where he was born and the little clutch of old ladies sitting in the middle of the street peeling potatoes and such (I'm not kidding) stared quite openly at us. He'd left when he was two, so they didn't recognize him, and we were speaking English. They generally assume that outsiders don't speak Albanian (usually a safe assumption) so they were chattering away about us, wondering who we were and what we were doing there. He pretended not to understand until we had passed right by and then he turned around and spoke to them in Albanian. They practically fell off their chairs.

When they found out we had just got married they exclaimed happily, "Oh, so you're a man now." He still laughs about it.

I was sure glad he was with me though, because the staring would have unnerved me. Although I had had a bit of training for that earlier in life. In public school I was about 4'8" and my best friend (a girl) was 5'10". We got stared at a lot when we were out together.

melaniehoo
06-17-2009, 05:49 AM
Janet, my best friend is 6 feet tall and I'm 5'1" so I know exactly what you're talking about. :) That story is funny -- my hubby and I have had some similar experiences because he doesn't look Mexican (more Spanish or Italian) and they sometimes assume he doesn't speak Spanish.

Judg
06-17-2009, 06:06 AM
We were back in his home town last year. We were looking for a friend in the coffee shop on main street. Hubby sticks his head inside, friend not there. Comes back out, looks around at the people sitting outside, cheerfully greets them all in Albanian and then stalks off without explaining who he is. ROFL! He still laughs when he thinks of it. They were buzzing. We did go back an hour or so later and give a better explanation. Found the friend too.

I want to see a pic of you with the best friend. ;)

melaniehoo
06-17-2009, 06:17 AM
If you look in my wedding album on facebook she's my maid of honor, although the photographer put her on a step below me in most of the pictures. She's in a lot in my friends albums.

spamwarrior
06-17-2009, 06:25 AM
Everyone's taller than me...=P So I do get some strange looks.