View Full Version : Looking for Beta for YA urban fantasy/also writing partner

06-15-2009, 07:38 AM
Hi I'd like someone to beta my urban fantasy. Note that it does have werewolves and some romance, light language though no f- bombs.

So if thats not something you're into then this probably isn't for you. Basically I'd like a non-biased opinion on the story, characters, pacing, etc. I don't really need a line by line, but if you want to thats fine too. I think there maybe some pacing issues in the beginning few pages so that's one thing I'd like to work out as well. I'm also having some problems figuring out what to put in my query letter, there are some agents who have copies of the manuscipt and I haven't had any rejections yet, but I really want to have a great query in case no one is interested.

A little about the story, it's 93,000 words, it's written in first person alternating POV's between three characters, and is meant to be the first book in a trilogy.

Here's a brief intro to the book:

Noah Hallows has always thought of himself as a novice mind-reader, his younger brother, Simon has always thought of Noah as bizarre. So when Noah tries to explain to him that they are “different”, Simon dismisses him as being…well, Noah. This all changes when the boys are attacked in the forest. Knocking Simon out, the attackers disappear taking Noah with them. From that point on the boy’s lives become filled with magic, supernatural creatures, murder, and romance.

With Noah missing, Simon begins changing. His wounds heal overnight, he stops dreaming and begins teleporting, and he meets a girl who isn’t quite human. All this is explained when Simon learns that his father is an ancient werewolf hiding from his former pack, and Simon has inherited the gene.

Meanwhile, Noah is beaten and starved in the basement of some unknown location. His captors are trying to make him shift. But despite being able to read minds and travel through transport, Noah is completely human. His father’s former Alpha isn’t pleased; he was hoping he had taken the eldest werewolf son and heir to 700 years of power. Once he recognizes his mistake, the Alpha takes it upon himself to make Noah a werewolf.

In the midst of uncovering their powers and mastering their wolves, the boys begin experiencing the uncertainties of first love. Then everything they’ve made of their new lives is at risk of being destroyed when the other magical folks reveal their existence to the human world.

Violent political tensions erupt between the mortals and inhuman beings. Surrounded by hate crimes, murders, and political rallies, war seems apparent. Unable to avoid the paranoia, Simon and Noah are thrust into the violence.

Also, I'd love to find a writing partner to keep me on track and vice versa, someone to exchange work with and critique with. I write mostly fantasy right now and am working on two projects besides editing this one. One project is a sequel to this book and the second is called Cupid's Disciple, it's a YA urban fantasy/romance.

Thanks to all who read this.