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tarra74
06-19-2005, 08:57 PM
Hello,
I am a songwriter in search of a writing partner that knows how to write music. I can write lyrics, but I can't write music. I write country, rock, and pop. Below is a sample of one of the songs I have written.


Body, Mind, & Soul

I'm hooked on you
I can' get you out of my head
You are the light in the dark
Before all I knew was
Heatache and pain
One smile from you
And you washed it all away

(Chorus)
You've got me
Body, mind, & soul
It all feels so right
the way you make me feel
I'm losing myself to you
Body, mind, and soul

Being with you
It feels so good
It feels so right
Forever's just around the corner


(Chorus)

The sound of your voice
It's like a sweet caress
I can't seem to get enough
I'm addicted to you

(Chorus)

I can still feel your lips on mine
Like a sweet caress
I close my eyes
all I see is you
You're haunting my dreams

(Chorus)

(Repeat Chorus)

Body, mind, & soul
You've got me hooked
I'm all yours
Body, mind & soul

I'm all yours
Body, mind, & soul...

tarra74
06-19-2005, 08:59 PM
I forgot to add that if you are interested in working with me, you can email me at tarra@tarrayoung.com

astonwest
06-19-2005, 11:45 PM
Errrr, which of those music styles is this supposed to be written in?

tarra74
06-20-2005, 02:54 AM
It's pop, but someone told me once that it could also work as a rock or a country song as well.

astonwest
06-20-2005, 05:54 AM
I have a feeling it's going to be a tough one to put to music because there's no apparent rhythm that I can see (especially with the chorus, which I started an attempt on)...

Not that it can't be done, but it's going to be a lot tougher...

Here's a trick I've used on a few...
Count off the rhythm you're using on each line (how many beats each line will take to say) and write the count next to the line. Try to get them to match with others in the piece. That makes it a little easier to know what kinds of musical rhythm you can use.

And for anyone out there also trying (at least in the rock style), the chorus sounds pretty good in B-flat minor pentatonic...

tarra74
06-20-2005, 08:10 PM
Is there any changes I can make to make it easier?

Maybe this song here will be easier:


You Make My Days Brighter





You know how to bring a smile to my face


Make the whole world seem brighter


My life wouldn't be the same without you





(Chorus)


When I hear your voice


It's like music to my ears


You know just the right words


to set my heart a flutter





You bring joy to my life


by you just being you


you give me reason


To wake up in the morning


And get out of bed





(Chorus)





(Bridge)


I look forward to the day


when you take me for your wife


You can wine me


And dine me


I'd follow you to the ends


of the earth


Just for a taste


of your sweet day





(Chorus)

astonwest
06-21-2005, 02:05 AM
The chorus on this second one was a lot easier to come up with...
Although I would suggest either doubling up the chorus (probably the easier of the two choices), or adding four additional lines...

I'll attempt to do the rest of the second song later...

Susie
06-21-2005, 05:29 AM
great songs, Tarra. I like 'em.:)

Susie

tarra74
06-21-2005, 07:31 PM
How is this for the chorus?


(Chorus)


You've got me


Body, mind, & soul


It all feels so right


the way you make me feel


I'm losing myself to you


Body, mind, & soul


You took me by surprise


I never knew it could be so good


I'm all yours


Body, mind, & soul

tarra74
06-21-2005, 07:33 PM
great songs, Tarra. I like 'em.:)

Susie

Thank you, Susie

astonwest
06-22-2005, 01:42 AM
I would recommend the following form:

You've got me
Body, mind, & soul
It all feels so right
the way you make me feel
I'm all yours
Body, mind, & soul
You took me by surprise
I lost myself to you

Who knew it could be so good?

***********************************

And now for the chord layout (apologies for the formatting (which still doesn't want to behave the way I originally wanted to post it)):

(Bb) You've got me
(Db) Body, mind, & (Eb) soul
(Bb) It all feels so (Db) right
the (Eb) way you make me feel
(Bb) I'm all yours
(Db) Body, mind, & (Eb) soul
(Bb) You took me by sur(Db)prise
I (Eb) lost myself to you

(F) Who knew it could be so (Bb) good?


How is this for the chorus?

tarra74
06-22-2005, 05:24 AM
That is perfect

JERETHAL
07-10-2005, 10:17 PM
Body mind and soul don't flow. Some words you just can't sing. It gots ta flow man.

Jim Colyer
08-15-2005, 01:30 AM
I was looking over the thread. It seems more structure is needed in the lyrics. I live in Nashville which is a "chorus town." They like verse-chorus, verse-chorus, bridge-chorus, the bridge being 2 lines.

Jim Colyer
http://www.jimcolyer.com/music/

Save The Planet
http://jimcolyer.com/@tracks/20/lofi.mp3

astonwest
08-20-2005, 04:52 AM
I attempted to add a little structure to the chorus lyrics a few posts up...the verses themselves could use the same treatment, if I had any free time left. It's also a bit tougher to come up with a melody only working the bass line...

Quite a number of songs you have listed on your site, by the way...