A journey of life and death unjudged

truelyana · Jun 6, 2009

Something that has been in the air recently has been life and death. The two very much contrasted each other this week. At the beginning of the week I was filled with Life and nearer the end I was drained, tired and I was in a dead environment.

I always have connected experiences, whereby what happens is a lead off from another experience which is a link to the whole experience. A cycle showing the whole picture. I have this kind of experience every week, but always a different theme. For most part, I am detached and just an observer whereas other times I am involved.

My last encounter was death. I was in plain invisibility. On friday I had a photoshoot for the new bus route to the crematorium. At the same time, someone died on the train tracks. In the photoshoot we stood outside the front of the bus with our hands up to the sky, like we were in showbusiness, whilst we grinned. A bus route to the crematorium, is not such a joyous experience.

Leading on from this, a train worker shared his experiences with death, and the many people he had faced drenched in blood in front of him. This train worker also shared the experiences he had at the train station, with people who were unkind to him and physically assaulted him. I stood there just listening, detached from his sorrows but connected to his experiences.

He phrased these people are not human, for those that throw themselfs on train tracks, and risk their lifes every day. Unspoken and unjudged I saw reality in his aura, and smelt the people that made a difference in his life.

I felt to share this experience, as it's a moment worth of a human share, to express moments that usually get left unsaid.

If you have any experiences to share, feel free to express yourself in this thread.

spamwarrior · Jun 6, 2009

I put mine on your blog:

"Beautiful, meaningful post. I knew a girl who planned to throw herself on the train tracks one night. I begged and pleaded with her and she ended up walking out there, then changing her mind and not doing it.

It’s frightening, for those that give up on life.

I wonder still who would have had to clean her off the tracks. And the poor workers…"

aadams73 · Jun 6, 2009

Funny this should come up now. Interesting topic, btw.

Recently, a friend(he and I have known each other since birth) and I were talking about nightmares and daydreams. He mentioned that he'd been having recurring thoughts about his children(he has 3 under the age of 6) dying and that he was vexed by this journey on which his brain was taking him.

I mentioned that this was every parent's worst fear. I don't have kids, but I can only imagine how worried I'd be about that if I did.

He went on to explain that this went beyond the normal realm of worrying about his kids, and that his thoughts had strayed into darker territory(at which point my brain went "uh-oh") and he carried on to say that he started thinking about what people would do FOR him should he lose his children. He'd fantasized about the sympathy his loss would garner, and how he would be the center of attention because of this.

To say I was stunned would be a serious understatement. I like deep discussions that push my boundaries and challenge the way I think, and sometimes I like to poke at the things that scare me or make me wince. But his almost id-like statement floored me. Instead of my mind expanding, I found it shrinking back in on itself. I found myself repulsed by someone I know as well as you can know another person(this is platonic, btw).

Everyone has dark thoughts at times. The human mind can go places we'd rather it not go. But sometimes speaking the words aloud can breathe life into them. You say them aloud and that gives them meaning which alters and changes the space into which they're spoken. As a result, his words have changed our friendship. I feel slightly ashamed of that. It's a very mixed bag of emotions.

I guess this doesn't fit the topic perfectly, but it seems to fit better here than anywhere else.

A journey of life and death unjudged

truelyana

Set yourself free

spamwarrior

rewriting.

aadams73

A Work in Progress