View Full Version : Beta needed for Children's Book in Final Edit stages

C.J. Rockwell
06-04-2009, 06:26 PM
Now that my middle grade novel fantasy "Gabriel" is in its final stages, I'm looking for some exprienced, honest, and constructive beta-readers to go through it.

If you like, I can send you a couple a sample pages or chapters to prove I'm serious and that this isn't a rough draft.

Let me know if your interested.

C.J. Rockwell
06-06-2009, 07:38 PM
I forgot to mention this before-

If you'd like to swap novels with me, I'll read yours if you read mine.

I really need some new betas.

07-05-2009, 08:43 AM
Hey CJ! I'll send you a PM too, but I'll post here as well to bump your thread up.

I finished my first draft ahead of schedule!!!! Yahoo!!!

So I have time to take a look at Gabriel for you. Send it on!


C.J. Rockwell
10-06-2009, 11:02 PM
JSK had to stop in the middle of my critque for work reasons, and I really need some new eyes to look at my novel.

I can PM you a chapter or two if you might be interested.

I'm really desperate here!

10-06-2009, 11:10 PM
Are you looking for a line by line? I currently write romance but I have a degree in elementary education and took a children's book writing course. I could take a stab at it if you like.

10-07-2009, 03:16 AM
What's the genre? Do you have a quick synopsis you can post?

C.J. Rockwell
10-07-2009, 04:56 AM
Here's a little synopsis about the book-

GABRIEL CRISPING is an unusually short rat who loves to tinker with the junk humans throw out. His only friend RUM WHEATLAND is everything Gabriel isn’t - foul-mouthed, with a nose for mischief, and tall to boot.
When a storm drives Gabriel into the village toy shop, he's discovered by the elderly human toymaker MR. QUINT and helps fix a toy fire engine. Mr. Quint offers him an apprenticeship, and Gabriel leaps at the chance to be a toymaker.
That day, Rum's parents die in a trap, fuelling Rum's disgust for humans. Gabriel tries to keep Mr. Quint a secret, but Rum finds out and deals Gabriel a bloody snout - and a heavy heart.

When Gabriel makes a name for himself as an up-and-coming toymaker, Rum tries to burn down the shop. For the first time in his life, Gabriel snaps. He puts out the fire and chases Rum away.

Gabriel knows he must take fierce action before Mr. Quint or his shop is seriously hurt. He challenges Rum to an all-out fight. If he wins, Rum must promise never to endanger his friends, rat or human, ever again. But if Rum wins, Gabriel must give up being Mr. Quint's apprentice, and leave the forest, never to return.

On the day of the challenge, Gabriel's in shock when he finds Mr. Quint cornering Rum to try and reach him. When Rum lunges at him in a fierce attack, Gabriel charges in to protect Mr. Quint.

Rum realizes the depth of Gabriel’s bond with Mr. Quint, and decides to leave the forest to try finding his own human. Gabriel makes him promise to bring back stories of their adventures.
I know these kinds of stories aren't for everyone, so if you don't like the subject matter, or feel you can look past it, We probably aren't a good match.

If you LOVE these kinds of stories like I do, and feel you can advise me how to really polish it up, I'd really appreciate it.


C.J. Rockwell
10-08-2009, 09:39 PM
.....Anymore takers?

10-10-2009, 04:23 PM
I know how hard it is to find betas and I'd love to be of service... but I'm afraid I lack a critical eye! I tend to just go "Ooh, this interesting," and not even notice problems -- the same goes for my own writing as well, unfortunately.

But I'd be glad to look at the first couple of chapters and if you think my comments are of any help then we can continue from there. MG is not my specialty, but I do YA, so at least I'm a bit closer to it that your average person writing for adults.

I know it's not much, but if you're really desperate for new eyes... ;)

C.J. Rockwell
11-05-2009, 08:08 AM
Still looking for willing betas!

I recently had to do some rearranging of major plot events and I'm worried I don't have the grabbing hook I had before.

04-26-2011, 02:53 AM
I have a complete middle grade chapter book (10 chapters, 38 pages long) about animals ala Peter Rabbit, etc. How long is yours?

This book is the prequel to the longer book I am working on and is at 120 pages yet unfinished. I have a critique group but I would like fresh eyes for revisions and overall questions.