Hey, I'm new! Anyone want to read my query & give advice?

kit7p

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Okay, so myself and my two friends have written a book and want to send it out to an agent, but we want to know what you guys think of the query-which has been a pain to write!!!

Okay so here it is:

We are three co-authors who seek representation for our YA mystery novella, NEW YORK MURDER (42,000 words).

After the young queen of England is murdered during her New York vacation, an attack on the president is anticipated, so three American Secret Service agents (Chris, Sarah, and Kevin) are assigned the case of finding this murderer before they strike again. Chris had been the queen’s boyfriend in high school, and he worries that his emotions might conflict with his ability to do his job. Sarah has feelings for Chris that she tries to disguise, and Kevin finds love at a motel. The agents are required to travel all across the globe to interview suspects, and with each suspect they meet with, more and more secrets are revealed. All the while the agents are being stalked by a past acquaintance that has cruel intentions. The agents make quick progress through the case, but are they moving fast enough? The murder has their sick, twisted pattern, and will strike again soon; will the agents be able to stop this vicious killer?

We have been interviewed on Cambridge Cable in Massachusetts about NEW YORK MURDER on February 19, 2009.

We hope that you will review our query and seriously consider it. We look forward to contacting you in the future, hopefully to discuss the outlook of our book.

Sincerely,

B.B., A.C., Y.N.


Mhm, so what do you guys think???
 

Raisaol

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Hm... Well, instead of telling the agent that it's 42,000 words right at the start of your query, wait until the end (right above where you've said the standard, "Hope to hear from you" line). Write something like, "New York Murder runs 42,000 words." This sounds more professional than sticking the word count in parentheses.

And I'm not entirely sure about including the little interview quip. You never mentioned why it's being interviewed (though I'm not certain whether this bit of information is even relevant). Include it if you feel it will really help you in this situation but flesh it out. Give the agent something to want you for! :)

And good luck with this!
 

sheadakota

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You might have more luck posting this is the query letter forum in Share your work- Oh and welcome:welcome:
 

kit7p

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Thanks for your help, I will post it in Share your work, I think it auto posted it in newbie. Anyway, the interview is the only real credential we have, the reason was a friend asked us, "Are you doing anything interesting?"
 

Raisaol

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Thanks for your help, I will post it in Share your work, I think it auto posted it in newbie. Anyway, the interview is the only real credential we have, the reason was a friend asked us, "Are you doing anything interesting?"

Ah, I understand about that. I have no credentials, either, and yet I'm still going to try and get my own novel published nonetheless. And since is the case for you, I say go ahead and include it! You don't have anything to lose. :D
 

kit7p

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Yah, I figured I should. Oooh, what is your novel about?? By the way, what do you think of young authors, myself being one??
 

Raisaol

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Yah, I figured I should. Oooh, what is your novel about?? By the way, what do you think of young authors, myself being one??

It's a bit hard to explain but I've posted a bit in the Young Adult section of the Share Your Work forum if you ever want to check it out (it's called The Demagogue). It's young adult science fiction and it takes place in a society governed by a man who's taken prejudices to a whole new level--he's taken women's rights completely, basically lowering their status to that of the African slaves in America long ago.

Oh, yeah. This society is America in about fifty years. ^_^

But that's all I can say, really. I'm terrible at summarizing.

Well, I have to say I adore young writers--because I'm one as well. I'm a high school sophomore (l6). How about you?
 

Silver King

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...By the way, what do you think of young authors, myself being one??
We have a number of young writers among us, some of them quite successful. It makes a few of us older scribes kind of envious yet very proud to be graced by their presence. :)

Welcome to AW!
 

kit7p

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I am a high school freshman, my two co-authors or in eigth grade. I am 14, turing 15 soon, I have a late birthday. And I LOVE, ABSOLUTELY LOVE, sci-fi!!!! I think my favorite sci-fi thing is the tv show Fringe, do you watch?? I will check out The Demagouge, but tomorrow because I need to get to bed!!! Geometry test tomorrow!! Ugh...
But would you actually consider reading this book based on what you've read in the query?
 

kit7p

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We have a number of young writers among us, some of them quite successful. It makes a few of us older scribes kind of envious yet very proud to be graced by their presence. :)

Welcome to AW!


Thanks Silver King! I used to think young writers could never be published, but then I saw Nancy Yi Fan, and I was thinking if this girl can get a book published at 12, why can't I?
 

regdog

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Silver King

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Thanks Silver King! I used to think young writers could never be published, but then I saw Nancy Yi Fan, and I was thinking if this girl can get a book published at 12, why can't I?
When you have a chance, check out this thread, where many of our young writers have posted.