PDA

View Full Version : Deleting oneself



Rufus Coppertop
05-31-2009, 05:59 PM
How do you delete yourself as a member of this forum?

scarletpeaches
05-31-2009, 06:00 PM
As far as I know, you can't. You can ask for a self-ban, though. But you'd need to speak to a supermod about that.

Parametric
05-31-2009, 06:01 PM
You could just stop posting.

ChaosTitan
05-31-2009, 06:02 PM
Members accounts are not deleted for legal reasons. That said, it's easy enough to remove your profile info, log off and never come back.

There's also a sticky in this forum for Proper Flouncing, if you're interested.

scarletpeaches
05-31-2009, 06:10 PM
Should I get my score cards ready, ChaosTitan? :D

dpaterso
05-31-2009, 07:22 PM
How do you delete yourself as a member of this forum?
So how did we manage to go from "This place rocks." to "How do you delete yourself as a member of this forum?" in 6 short days?

-Derek

eqb
05-31-2009, 07:37 PM
So how did we manage to go from "This place rocks." to "How do you delete yourself as a member of this forum?" in 6 short days?

SYW.

We're talking him down.

(Just as others have talked me down.)

Devil Ledbetter
05-31-2009, 07:48 PM
You could just stop posting.Ha. Like that's even possible.

dpaterso
05-31-2009, 07:50 PM
SYW.

We're talking him down.

(Just as others have talked me down.)
Saw that, and appreciate everyone's effort.

-Derek

KTC
05-31-2009, 07:56 PM
They don't let you leave. It's like the Hotel California.

You can checkout any time you like,
But you can never leave!

brainstorm77
05-31-2009, 07:59 PM
You do realize that you don't have to post work if you don't like the feedback you may get. Also in the SYW forum you have to take the good with the bad and people are expressing their opinions.. You can take the advice or leave it. Maybe you should rethink posting there for a bit instead of leaving the site totally.

Medievalist
05-31-2009, 08:00 PM
How do you delete yourself as a member of this forum?

You can't actually, but give yourself a chance. You jumped into the deep end of the pool right away.

KTC
05-31-2009, 08:08 PM
You can't actually, but give yourself a chance. You jumped into the deep end of the pool right away.


Yeah, you should maybe check out the Novels forum...get in on some of the conversation there. You'll find it very interesting and informative.

Sean D. Schaffer
06-01-2009, 07:36 PM
You can't actually, but give yourself a chance. You jumped into the deep end of the pool right away.


Yeah, SYW can be pretty heavy for a lot of people. Don't get yourself down, Rufus. Like others have said, try some of the lighter stuff for the time being, until you're ready to handle the SYW forum. :)

EFCollins
06-01-2009, 09:13 PM
Or what about just finding one person to review your work for the moment?

Look, Rufus, I know that the crits seem harsh. They do. But you have to remember that you are DOING something. You are writing. And that in it's self is an accomplishment. No one who gives critiques here does so with malicious intent (That I've ever seen). We've all had less than savory crits. I have. But not because my work wasn't worth posting and getting feedback on. Yeah, it seems like your work is being picked apart. But, most people would not bother at all if there wasn't something within your tale they felt was worth saving. Most of us won't post a crit on something we feel isn't worth it. So, some people said some things you disagree with. Were you looking for universal acceptance? It won't happen. AW forumers are only trying to help. We crit honestly. You do want honesty, right? If you wanted fluffed up praise, you should have asked Mom or Dad or Girlfriend or someone like that to read it. We don't know you.

We are ALL writers or in that field in some way (publishers, editors, agents etc). We are only pointing out some things that need work. But, if it wasn't worth working on, no body would have bothered and you'd be angry that no one reviewed your tale. But they did. Stop treating your writing so personally. It isn't. After it's written it becomes a product, a unit. Get yourself in that frame of mind, if need be. It's what I have to do. I know it feels personal. But, don't give up on AW yet. It's absolutely the best place for a writer to be. That's why so many of us seek it out.

Every day you see success stories popping up, from finishing their first full length manuscript, to the sale of a first short story, to the sale of novels. This isn't by accident. These are the people who came here looking for knowledge and found it, and then used it. And I bet every single one of them has something in SYW. If you feel like the crowd is too much, take on a writing partner. The beta section has several people willing to read, and many looking for accountability partners and beta swaps. Get to know a few people first. My beta and I met on here. I beta for her, and she betas for me. I have a tenth grade education, she has an MA. And you know what? She said I gave her the best beta she'd ever had. That's how we came to be beta partners. She has a novel of mine right now and I just got done with her novel last week. And, I still post in SYW. Know why? Because I love my friends in the horror section and because they give me invaluable feedback. It's not always roses and sugarplums, but it does help, even if my eyes prickle a bit when I read it. I still get upset, but I wait to post a response until I can be more objective about what they said. Professionalism is important everywhere. Even here.

You have to keep in mind that people make comments on your work for a reason. There's something about that bit they don't get, or the sentence structure is awkward, or it doesn't suit the voice the rest of the story is in. It's not personal to them and they are only being truthful. If you can't take the truth about your own work, then you don't need to be posting in SYW yet. Eventually, these may be the very people who read your query. They might just be. And, if they are, do you want them to remember your story with bad memories? And if you can't take it from aspiring and established authors, what's going to happen when an editor says the same things? Are you going to get angry and say nasty things? To an editor? AW is a good place to practice toughening up because an editor won't mince words. They'll be brutally honest. I know I need the practice.

I hope you stick around. I've never met you or read your work, but I hope you stay. Because as a fellow writer, I know how incredible this place can be and how useful a tool it is for us to have. Sorry for my long rambling post. Good luck in anything you decide.

Peace & Love man,
~Ellen

Rufus Coppertop
06-03-2009, 03:43 PM
So how did we manage to go from "This place rocks." to "How do you delete yourself as a member of this forum?" in 6 short days?

-Derek

Bitchy meltdown.

Rufus Coppertop
06-03-2009, 03:45 PM
SYW.

We're talking him down.

(Just as others have talked me down.)

And you've all done an absolutely marvellous job.

Back to "this place rocks," I've been using the search facility to look up stuff like character description, POV issues, show versus tell, etc etc.

This place really is a phenomenal resource and it's the people like all of you that make it so.

brainstorm77
06-03-2009, 04:17 PM
Good to hear that you're not leaving. It really is a good group with alot of info :)

Fenika
06-03-2009, 04:48 PM
Good on ya, Rufus :) We need more folks like you around here.

Red-Green
06-03-2009, 11:29 PM
I love happy endings. Glad you're staying, Rufus. There are a lot of great people on AW and we're glad to have you among them.

Matera the Mad
06-04-2009, 05:47 AM
Whew. Glad I won't have to hunt you down and drag you back, Rufus. ;)

Libbie
06-06-2009, 07:32 AM
A resounding WOOT for Rufus!

Yeah, getting your first useful critique can SUCK BIG-TIME. And when it's coming from multiple people at once it can be overwhelming. But good for you for sticking it out! Really, nothing helps us grow as writers quite like critiques. With time, you'll learn to pick all the good out of the negative-seeming stuff and soon everything becomes a nice, helpful, pleasant exercise in improvement. :D

DoomieBey
06-06-2009, 10:49 PM
As odd as this may seem, I'm actually looking forward to sharing my nonfiction on the SYW forum. The best kind of advice is candid advice. That's why it's better to go to a psychologist instead of your buddies at the bar. The psychologists have no reason to be biased one way or the other. One other thing I can say about this site: You rarely see someone tearing something down, and not giving the person the tools to rebuild. That's what it's all about. I can't finish this book fast enough.

Sean D. Schaffer
06-11-2009, 07:45 PM
And you've all done an absolutely marvellous job.

Back to "this place rocks," I've been using the search facility to look up stuff like character description, POV issues, show versus tell, etc etc.

This place really is a phenomenal resource and it's the people like all of you that make it so.


Glad to hear it, Rufus! Enjoy the site. :)

Joanna
06-26-2009, 10:24 AM
what a blimmin bid for attention If I ever saw one!

MacAllister
06-26-2009, 10:32 AM
Naw - not so much as you might think. He'd just gotten his first serious crit, here, and that can send even experienced writers right out on the ledge, some days. Rufus is okay. :)

Matera the Mad
06-26-2009, 10:52 AM
Yep, he's settled in very nicely now.

SYW is a lot like the Spanish Inquisition -- nobody expects...

Sean D. Schaffer
06-26-2009, 08:52 PM
Snipped....

SYW is a lot like the Spanish Inquisition -- nobody expects...



Hence the reason I don't post there anymore. I never expect the critiques I get.... and I still have somewhat of a thin skin.


:Shrug:


ETA: But I am getting better. :)

Medievalist
06-26-2009, 09:49 PM
Hence the reason I don't post there anymore. I never expect the critiques I get.... and I still have somewhat of a thin skin.

I think the hardest thing for writers to learn is that they are not their books.

It's perhaps the most important lesson, in some ways, because it's a survival skill.

And it's often painful. You hang in there Sean.

scarletpeaches
06-26-2009, 09:51 PM
Hence the reason I don't post there anymore. I never expect the critiques I get.... and I still have somewhat of a thin skin.


:Shrug:


ETA: But I am getting better. :)

Try sending the odd chapter to one or two people from AW you trust, by PM or email. If they're friends, there's a danger their replies will be over-generous but at least this will help you build up an immunity to bad crits.

In theory anyway. I know sometimes it takes one bad word to undo a lifetime of encouragement.

But at least this way you might get used to taking a deep breath and hitting 'send'.

EFCollins
06-26-2009, 10:02 PM
This is why I consider my books products once their complete. With the exception of one. I love that one so much that I can't even do another revision, though I know it needs it. It's out with several beta's in hope that a majority will rule over my infatuation and I'll be forced to make the final revision. It's really hard to get to the point where you can consider your work a product or a unit though.

Medievalist
06-26-2009, 10:39 PM
Heh.

My introduction to crits outside of the class room was writing documentation at a software company. I wrote my two pages or so of procedure, and turned it into my boss.

"What is this shite? I can't use this crap. WTF do you think this is?"

He gave me a 45 minute word by word critique.

It took me -- I dunno -- fifteen or so tries before he grudgingly said "Well, it doesn't suck anymore. I can fix the rest."

scarletpeaches
06-26-2009, 10:43 PM
Heh.

My introduction to crits outside of the class room was writing documentation at a software company. I wrote my two pages or so of procedure, and turned it into my boss.

"What is this shite? I can't use this crap. WTF do you think this is?"

He gave me a 45 minute word by word critique.

It took me -- I dunno -- fifteen or so tries before he grudgingly said "Well, it doesn't suck anymore. I can fix the rest."

I'm probably related to him.

JS Emuakpor
06-26-2009, 11:59 PM
Heh.

My introduction to crits outside of the class room was writing documentation at a software company. I wrote my two pages or so of procedure, and turned it into my boss.

"What is this shite? I can't use this crap. WTF do you think this is?"

He gave me a 45 minute word by word critique.

It took me -- I dunno -- fifteen or so tries before he grudgingly said "Well, it doesn't suck anymore. I can fix the rest."LMAO!

No matter how often I post in SYW, I brace myself for the worst. It's scary, I think. But AW has made me a much better writer than I was. Heh. And I thought I was good... NOT!

jodiodi
07-12-2009, 05:34 AM
I've never posted in SYW, I don't think. I can't remember anymore. If I did, it was long before I went crazy. I'm too freakin' emotionally fragile to take much criticism. A damned delicate flower, I tell ya.

Susie
07-12-2009, 05:41 AM
I'm not great with criticism myself, but when I've posted my work in SYW I just wrote on top, "Gentle Crit, Please" and everyone was extremely nice, even in their criticism. Give it a try.

Parametric
07-12-2009, 05:46 AM
The first 18 months I hung out here I didn't have the nerve to dip a toe in the SYW waters. I could crit all day, it's just throwing my own work to the sharks I couldn't do. But once I finally plucked up the courage, I had a really positive experience that I'm looking forward to repeating. :)

Ken Schneider
07-12-2009, 04:08 PM
I think the hardest thing for writers to learn is that they are not their books.

It's perhaps the most important lesson, in some ways, because it's a survival skill.

And it's often painful. You hang in there Sean.

Quite right. Until you stop thinking of your work as your baby and think of it as a product you're selling you'll comtinue to be more sensitive.

Writers should think about their writing the same way a baker thinks about baking a pie.

Someone says, "Your pie wasn't very good." The baker finds out why the pie wasn't good, and bakes a better pie. It's that simple.

Ken Schneider
07-12-2009, 04:12 PM
what a blimmin bid for attention If I ever saw one!

What's blimmin? They didn't show the word in Websters.

Sophia
07-12-2009, 04:17 PM
What's blimmin? They didn't show the word in Websters.

It's a mock upper-class way of pronouncing "blooming", which is used in the UK as a slang swear word. E.g. "It's blooming freezing in here!"

Samantha's_Song
07-12-2009, 04:52 PM
Coming from one who lives on the outskirts of London, it's the way that the cockneys could say blinking instead of blooming. I suppose it could go for both, but it's definitely cockney language.

Posh - What's your blinking problem?

Cockney - Oi, what's your blimmin' problem mate?


What's blimmin? They didn't show the word in Websters.

Medievalist
07-12-2009, 07:24 PM
Blimmin' is dialect for bloomin' or blooming, a substitute curse word for bloody.

StoryG27
07-12-2009, 08:06 PM
I'm not great with criticism myself, but when I've posted my work in SYW I just wrote on top, "Gentle Crit, Please" and everyone was extremely nice, even in their criticism. Give it a try.
Susie brings up a good point. You can ask for certain kinds of crits. Most people will oblige. I think the bravest souls post their work with the instructions to go ahead and rip it apart. *shudders* One thing I have found is that too many crits is not a good thing, none is even worse. If you get too many opinions, especially clashing opinions, it can get confusing and frustrating, trust me. But if you see a pattern, different critters pointing out the same things then it is definetely worth looking into.

I'm not exceptionally soft skinned, but if you tell me something is wrong, I'm not confident enough to stand my ground (even if I should) so I'll go do massive rewrites. A week later, I'll get a crit saying everything I rewrote is crap and advice to "fix" it, which often ends up being the way I had it to start with. So you have to know the rules, your style, the ins and outs, and most importantly, respect and value the people giving you the crit.

SYW is an amazing place to get lots of feedback and to hone your craft, but it's not the end-all, be-all of writing. It's all subjective, like most everything is when it comes to writing.

Topaz044
07-13-2009, 04:08 AM
Rufus-I don't know what to tell you, man. The critiques here might be harsh, but no less harsh than a critique from an editor/publisher. It's part of the business, I'm afraid. You just have to develop a thick skin and either take the critique's advice or ignore it.

I looked briefly through your threads and found a lot of support for your writing. I also think you have a lot of potential, so best of luck. :)

-Natasha

blueobsidian
07-13-2009, 04:36 AM
Writers should think about their writing the same way a baker thinks about baking a pie.

Someone says, "Your pie wasn't very good." The baker finds out why the pie wasn't good, and bakes a better pie. It's that simple.

Um, no it isn't simple.

As someone who baked professionally for several years, I had to jump in and say that I was far more sensitive to someone not liking what we baked than I am about my writing. My coworkers and I were absolutely MORTIFIED if someone returned product and would beat ourselves up about it for days. I went home and cried the day that someone returned a cake and said it was dry. One manager had a tendency towards randomly yelling at people when she was criticized. Another wouldn't speak to anyone for the rest of the day. People who cook for a living are PASSIONATE about what they do. They have to be to deal with the hours and stress.

It may seem simple but for many people, criticism of something they are passionate about can elicit an emotional response. Writing and baking are both very creative endeavors. I know that I put my heart into both. While I know that negative comments on either front can only help me grow, it doesn't make it hurt any less in the meantime.

shakeysix
07-13-2009, 07:26 AM
i'm not even allowed to bake cakes. or make coffee, for that matter. the thing is-- i've never cared enough about cakes to improve my approach. they fall flat--screw em. you don't like my cake--screw you. i won't bake another.

writing is different for me--dead serious business. i'm a stiff necked woman when it comes to my style and my stories but i force myself to read the crits and then, after a week of teeth grinding, tears and fukkmuttering, i thank everyone and start fixing.

not all of the crits are dead on--they can't be. but if i consistently get the same crit from five or six posts--like "for the love of gawd, shake, stop blathering!"-- then i have to fix it or all my hard work stops at SYW. --s6