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Blondchen
05-28-2009, 10:20 PM
If you've ever lurked, posted, skimmed, stalked or flamed on the R&D "no news is no news purgatory" thread (aka "Purgatory") you'll know what the hell I'm talking about here. If you haven't checked out our lovely thread, fear not! This Mash-Up should still be entertaining.

Basically, someone had the idea of taking short scenes from our writing (250-350 words) and having another member of Purgatory anonymously extend the scene by an additional 250-350 words. No one knows whose excerpt they are working with (well, except for moi, but I ain't telling.)

The idea was for the extender to work on the scene, taking from it whatever grabbed them about the writing and to try and guess where the scene might be going. A great exercise for both the original author and the piggybacking author.

I'll be posting these scenes here, probably at the rate of one per day, starting Sunday night. Please feel free to comment on them, guess who both authors might be, talk about what you liked or didn't like, differences in styles, etc. etc. etc. Before I post the next excerpt, I'll reveal who each of the authors were.

Sound good? Awesome. See you Sunday!

EDIT

The Results (in no particular order):
Firedrake mashed Redzilla
Sunna mashed Inkwench
Karen mashed Sistermorphine
Lara mashed Teriann
Branwyn mashed Karen
Inkwench mashed Firedrake
JustMe mashed Parametric
Irysangel mashed Alias Octavia
Jy'lenn mashed Tasmin
JuneLuv mashed Jy'lenn
Tasmin mashed Lara
Blondchen mashed Maui Author and JuneLuv
Teriann mashed Irysangel
Cuteshoes mashed Blondchen
Maui Author mashed Branwyn
Sistermorphine mashed Rose
Alias Octavia mashed Houndrat
Parametric mashed Cuteshoes
Redzilla mashed Sunna
Houndrat mashed Tasha

Kris
05-28-2009, 11:15 PM
So excited! Thanks for doing this Ms. Blondchen!

Branwyn
05-28-2009, 11:20 PM
I'll be without internet until Tuesday. Going to Salem.
This should be fun!

Karen Duvall
05-29-2009, 04:25 AM
Should be veeeerrrrry eenteresting. :e2shower:

Blondchen
05-30-2009, 08:34 PM
Here we go! There are 21 of these all together and just like when I assigned them, I'm pulling random numbers to post them. Lucky #7 is first up!

You'll see the break where the one writer left off and the other picked up. It's not meant to be a scene break. After a day or so, I'll post who the two authors were, and then the original author is free to post the "real" continuation of the scene. Sound good?

Ok. Let the fun begin!

~~~~~

Across the graveyard we went, past the lonely quarters of the deceased. Tombs stood as reminders of what once was. He yanked me around a tall moss covered tree. Jack’s voice carried my name across the warm night air, but I couldn’t answer. Freakin’ great. No way I would be able to explain my disappearance—if I survived. As the beast carried me away from the group, his helper loped beside us in the darkness, nothing more than a shadow in the night. The faces of my assailants weren’t visible in the murky corner of the graveyard, but I felt the fuzz on my attackers paw. The back of my legs scrapped against the concrete sidewalk. Thank goodness, I wore jeans. It still burned, though.

My natural instincts took over, my eyes changed, I felt the transformation taking place, and fur rapidly covered my body. Claws pointed from the tips of my fingers, the points of which were pink: remnants from the manicure of my human nails. I continued struggling as he pulled me farther away. Kicking and pushing, nothing worked. His hold on me felt like a vice grip squeezing as tightly as possible. Where were they taking me? Would they kill me right there in the graveyard? They laughed, mocking me. No doubt they were proud of their feat. My claws gouged at his paws—if only I could reach his head, I’d gouge his eyes out.

As the other one lumbered along beside us, he slipped on a stray rock distracting my captor. I took that opportunity to break free from the stinky fiend holding me. His breath smelled as if he’d eaten a rotten tuna sandwich and chased it with a tall glass of buttermilk. I shoved the beast until he was forced to release his grasp, then I lurched forward, falling. My body hit the ground with a thud, but I quickly righted myself. My claws held a death grip on my purse—I couldn’t lose it. Soon my transformation would be complete, so I draped the bag around my neck while I still could.

#

The transformation was miserable, left me aching as always, but at last I had an advantage. The idiots in front of me had no idea what these pink claws were capable of. Less concerned now with escaping with my life, I remembered Jack, still calling my name into the darkness. How to tell him not to worry? But that would have to wait: the two beasts were upright once more, disoriented but beginning to narrow their focus on me again.

I darted behind a headstone. I knew - as smart girls know cretins - how they would come after me. I could almost see them silently agreeing, sharing a self-satisfied wink. Sure enough, they quietly (what they thought was quietly) attempted to ambush me from either side of the tomb, giving me a grand opportunity to grab the scruffs of both their necks and bash their heads together. They toppled and I jumped out of the way - about eight feet into the air: I forgot my own strength when I transformed, sometimes - as they collapsed against the headstone, which shifted in the warm, wet earth. I stepped over them to look at the front of it, mouthed an apology to Abigail Parkinson (Beloved Wife and Mother), and then started putting as much distance as possible between me and the two thugs passed out on the ground.

From the shelter of a copse of trees, I looked up at the moon, the stupid moon that kept me from Jack. What time was it? How much longer would I have to wait - how much longer would he wait before he gave up on me and left? Did he think I was already dead? I sat cross-legged on the leafy ground, resenting my ruined jeans and my ruined top and my ruined freaking manicure. The purse - my clawed hands flew to my neck. Yeah, the purse was ruined too. That was a bummer. But the contents were safe. "Bright side, bright side..." I whispered to myself, looking up at the moon again. Even if the filth in the graveyard stayed unconscious, it was going to be a long night.

Irysangel
05-30-2009, 11:42 PM
I liked it! Now I'm trying to remember who writes about shifters. ;)

I thought it was interesting because I felt the second person has a slightly 'younger' feeling vibe to the piece.

If I had to critique (I can't turn it off! I'm editing! I'm sorry!) I would say that I'd prefer a little bit more 'white space' in my reads - to break up the action. There's a nice juicy action bit in the 2nd paragraph of each one and it would have more oomph if it was separate or staggered out.

This definitely opened us up with a bang, though. Nice job to writer #2 - you really did a great job continuing the first piece!

Blondchen
05-31-2009, 12:05 AM
I thought Author #2 did a great job picking up on the style of the Author #1. And I love the way #2 was able to bring in this sense of the narrator's desperate need to get back to Jack. While I agree with the Irys that the second half sounds younger, if I was just reading through this, I'd totally think it was the same author!

I doubt I did that with my own continuation. Oops! Outted meself. Yes, this one was not me. :D

But who do you think #2 and #1 are?????

firedrake
05-31-2009, 12:09 AM
That was a pretty seamless transition between the two writers. The same sense of pace and I liked the little touch of humor in the second piece,e.g. the apology to Abigail Parkinson (Beloved Wife and Mother).

I have no idea who the writers are!!!

Parametric
05-31-2009, 12:10 AM
I have this twitchy feeling that #1 might be Mythica. I know it's not her Roman shapeshifter WIP or the project that's on sub, but it's pinging my radar.

Parametric
05-31-2009, 12:14 AM
Is there a chance we could have a list of writers who participated? I think that would make it easier to link everyone up.

sunna
05-31-2009, 12:15 AM
Still thinking on #1 --I can't remember the list of people writing shifter stories-- but I keep thinking of Jen's teasers when I read #2.

Whoever it is, they did a great job matching the voice up, and the pacing, right down to sentence structure.

Irysangel
05-31-2009, 12:17 AM
Oh yes - a list of participants would be nice, so we can guess! :)

Parametric
05-31-2009, 12:19 AM
I think #2 is using distinctive sentence structures - with lots of dashes - and: semi-colons and (parentheses). I don't see those in Jen's teasers. I can think of a lot of people it's not, but still figuring out who it is.

Blondchen
05-31-2009, 12:35 AM
Is there a chance we could have a list of writers who participated? I think that would make it easier to link everyone up.

Ok. I added it to Post #1 in this thread!

Parametric
05-31-2009, 12:55 AM
Gah! Mythica isn't even playing. I suck. :tongue

sunna
05-31-2009, 01:09 AM
Gah! Mythica isn't even playing. I suck. :tongue


As do I: Jen isn't either. :rolleyes:

Haupe
05-31-2009, 01:25 AM
I haven't been around long enough to speak with any confidence, but I think Houndrat's number 2.

And now I wish I'd played. :( This is really cool.

suki
05-31-2009, 01:31 AM
No guesses, and I agree that the second writer did a great job of meshing tone and story with the first so that it would be a clean continuation. But what struck me the most was how the two writers viewed the shift differently.

In the first I was left a little wanting for a description of how the shift felt - I got the visual, but got the sense the shift was easy and comfortable. But there's more description of pretty much everything else than how it actually feels to shift. So I got the impression shifting is as easy as blinking - no discomfort or drama at all.

But the second writer started off with saying the shift was uncomfortable and that changes the character a little for me, because she welcomed the shift despite the pain.

Those kind of sensory details are what really draw me into a story. Both writers wrote the character as welcoming the shift, but with a little bit of description of the shift as unpleasant feeling, the second part took on a slightly different tone.

Interesting...

~suki

ink wench
05-31-2009, 01:50 AM
Ooh, interesting. Gotta agree with whoever else said #2 sounded younger, although the transition is pretty darn good. I think it's the extra dashes and parens that give it a younger, more distractable voice.

I haven't the faintest idea who wrote either piece, just guesses as to who didn't write them. Now, does the fact that I'm mentioning guessing at all give away that I didn't write one of them? Or is it a red herring because I did? Hmm....

justme
05-31-2009, 01:53 AM
I think #2 is cuteshoes.

Juneluv12
05-31-2009, 02:06 AM
Haha, I'd totally put Jenwriter down...then I looked at the list and realized she wasn't playing.

No guesses....better go back and stalk through Teaser Tuesdays maybe!!

Karen Duvall
05-31-2009, 02:19 AM
I agree both writers did a great job! The styles are closely matched. I'm guessing writer 1 is Cuteshoes and writer 2 is Inkwench. I would have preferred shorter sentences to punch up the action sequence, which I guess is what Irys was saying. All six paragraphs are kind of long, too.

How fun! Blondie, don't make us wait a whole nuther day before giving us the answer! And I want to see the next one. *pout*

Maui Author
05-31-2009, 03:48 AM
This is so fun! I loved reading this and #2 did a great job on continuing what #1 did. Not sure who either author is though...

Blondchen
05-31-2009, 03:53 AM
I'm starting to feel guilty being the only one with the answers! Bwahahahahahahaa. I'll tell this much, so far none of the guesses for Mash-Up #7 are correct. :D

I'll post the answers, and another excerpt, tomorrow morning, you junkies.

Parametric
05-31-2009, 04:05 AM
Ahahaha. Sweet punctuation, you never betray me. Compare #2 to sister's teaser (http://www.sarahevekelly.com/writing/teaser-tuesday/). It's cunningly concealed by the YA voice, but I think we have a match. :D

firedrake
05-31-2009, 04:08 AM
Ahahaha. Sweet punctuation, you never betray me. Compare #2 to sister's teaser (http://www.sarahevekelly.com/writing/teaser-tuesday/). It's cunningly concealed by the YA voice, but I think we have a match. :D

My God, girl....your powers of observation scare me! :Wha:

Blondchen
05-31-2009, 04:10 AM
Ahahaha. Sweet punctuation, you never betray me. Compare #2 to sister's teaser (http://www.sarahevekelly.com/writing/teaser-tuesday/). It's cunningly concealed by the YA voice, but I think we have a match. :D

Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner! Now who is #1?

Parametric
05-31-2009, 04:25 AM
Match the Punctuation Game is telling me #1 is Inkwench.

jy'lenn
05-31-2009, 04:27 AM
*snickering* ooohhhh.... mine will be sooo obvious... :D

I've got nothing to add: everyone said it already!!! It was a great pairing and the two wrote really well together, though the second was a bit different. To me, the tone was different. (Of course, I've spent the past years co-writing and can pick out who wrote what and Mark can copy my writing almost perfectly...)

Regardless, it was A GREAT read!!! and of course, I'm wondering what happens next! lol

Parametric
05-31-2009, 04:28 AM
Uh-oh. Match the Punctuation Game is also pinging justme. (I'm working my way down the list, comparing a certain quirk.)

edit: houndrat is scoring a positive as well, but I would be expecting about fifty thousand times more slang in a piece this long.

Okay, I'm done. In order of likeliness:

1. justme
2. inkwench
3. houndrat

edit again: on reflection, inkwench is very exacting about spelling and punctuation, so I'm kicking her further down the list. Man, I'm glad I don't actually have to choose between these three. :tongue

final edit: I'm about 90% sure it's justme.

Blondchen
05-31-2009, 05:04 AM
Uh-oh. Match the Punctuation Game is also pinging justme. (I'm working my way down the list, comparing a certain quirk.)

And another winner! Para, you get a cookie!

Really? Match the Punctuation Game? Who'da thought???

Y'all are still going to have to wait til tomorrow for the next one. :D

Parametric
05-31-2009, 05:09 AM
I am so freaking good. :tongue

I matched this particular sentence structure:

No way I would be able to explain my disappearance—if I survived.
My claws gouged at his paws—if only I could reach his head, I’d gouge his eyes out.
My claws held a death grip on my purse—I couldn’t lose it.

It's not big, but three times in 350 words is pretty frequent. Only houndrat, inkwench and justme used this structure in their teasers: it's not slangy enough for houndrat, it doesn't read like inkwench, but it definitely matches justme.

firedrake
05-31-2009, 05:10 AM
I am so freaking good. :tongue

I matched this particular sentence structure:

No way I would be able to explain my disappearance—if I survived.
My claws gouged at his paws—if only I could reach his head, I’d gouge his eyes out.
My claws held a death grip on my purse—I couldn’t lose it.

It's not big, but three times in 350 words is pretty frequent. Only houndrat, inkwench and justme used this structure in their teasers: it's not slangy enough for houndrat, it doesn't read like inkwench, but it definitely matches justme.

I am in awe of your punctuation tracking awesomeness :Hail:

Red-Green
05-31-2009, 05:11 AM
All bow down to Para's mad detective skillz. :Hail:

Branwyn
05-31-2009, 05:33 AM
Nice job, though on both accounts.
Para--way to go!

suki
05-31-2009, 05:34 AM
Para is the queen of the mash-up detecting.

~suki

sistermorphine
05-31-2009, 06:15 AM
Holy Jesus, I KNEW my punctuation would out me. I am a complete YA undercover fail!


This was FUN.

Karen Duvall
05-31-2009, 06:18 AM
Holy Jesus, I KNEW my punctuation would out me. I am a complete YA undercover fail!


This was FUN.

Sister, I thought you did fantastic! You may have missed your true calling. :D

Tasmin21
05-31-2009, 07:41 AM
Got home too late to play on this first one, but I have to say I really liked both pieces! I can't wait to see the rest of them.

Blondchen
05-31-2009, 08:43 AM
You guys did amazingly well with the first one. So let's see how you do with this!

~~~~~

Shui spun one way, then the other, claws raking the air where Aydin had stood. Gavin grabbed him around the neck and when he shoved that odd but beautiful knife against Shui's throat, the gargoyle froze.

"Don't make me use it." Gavin slid the knife gently over the gray, scaly skin, but didn't cut him. From the panicked look on Shui's face, I could tell this knife was special.

Interesting. The knife held some kind of power over the gargoyle. Was it enchanted? Coated in poison strong enough to kill an immortal?

Shui's eyes closed, an expression of calm replacing his alarm. In that instant he appeared almost human. As if resigned to follow his master's command, he remained still, chest heaving, his leathery wings folded and tucked close to his sides.

Gavin shoved him at me. I stiffened when Shui clutched both my shoulders to flip me onto my stomach on the bed.

"Careful," Gavin said.

His claws sliced through my jacket, his hot breath bathing my neck as the room's cool air chilled my bloody back. Shui hovered close, inhaling my scent, one claw tracing an immature wing that struggled to break free. He'd rip the wing off if he could, and use it like a toothpick after dining on what was left of my human body.

But he didn't. He leaned down and ran his slimy tongue over my tattoo, letting it linger there. I didn't protest. I needed my fix, and maybe it would take longer this time for his saliva to take effect. The fever stopped almost immediately, and I felt my baby wings shrink, drawing themselves back inside my body. It hurt, but I didn't mind. I just wanted them gone.

Shui retreated and hobbled back to Gavin.

I lay on the hard, lumpy bed, silent and exhausted, and thoroughly relieved. I wondered if Aydin was still in the room somewhere. Had he witnessed what had happened, what I'd let Shui do? That was my last thought before I passed out.

#

When I finally woke up, I rolled over and felt a warm body next to me. It was Gavin.

“You know eventually this isn’t going to work anymore and the transformation will happen.” He was lying on his back, speaking so casually, as if we were lovers.

It was easy for him to say. He wasn’t the one changing. However, I knew he was the only one who could help me.

“You’ve reversed the process before. I’ve heard stories about you.”

He sat up and looked down at me. “I’m thrilled that you think that highly of me, but it’s not as easy as you make it sound.” He glanced over at the fireplace. Shui was there, leering at me.

I couldn’t stand the sight of the creature. He was a constant reminder of what I was to become.

“Where’s Aydin?”

“He is safe,” Gavin answered, “for now.”

“Did he see…”

“No. Your secret is still safe.”

I sat up. Waves of pain crashed inside my skull like a stormy sea. “What was with the blade? Quasimodo over there freaked out at the sight of it.”

“A little insurance policy. Sometimes he gets carried away, and I need to remind him there are consequences for his actions.”

“Is that what you’ll do to me? Threaten me with that blade, or worse.”

His eyes locked onto mine, and his features softened. “Never,” he whispered.

“Then you’ll help me?”

Gavin let out a sigh that spoke more than any words could.

I knew he had strong feelings for me. “Please.” I hated begging.

“And if I do… what will you do for me?”

Swallowing hard, I answered. “Anything.”

xiaotien
05-31-2009, 08:44 AM
:ROFL:

amazing! loved both entries--sarah, you pretended to write the
genre very well!

i want to be thrown in to continue as mystery guest.
hee! i'm at a disadvantage if people have read my book
(and my sequel words would be obvious), but i haven't
put many teasers up (advantage)!

but that's probably breaking the rules.

Maui Author
05-31-2009, 09:41 AM
This is so much fun! I loving reading these!!

I fear mine is going to be difficult as I've never done a Tuesday Teaser, but we will see.

Not sure who these authors are, but I loved the writing!

Parametric
05-31-2009, 12:54 PM
I'd like to claim I used my skills of genius, but I recognise #1 from Karen's sig. It's from Knight's Curse.

#2 is fiendishly tough! I require time to ponder.

justme
05-31-2009, 02:56 PM
Wow, Para is good!

Kris
05-31-2009, 03:52 PM
Ahahaha. Sweet punctuation, you never betray me. Compare #2 to sister's teaser (http://www.sarahevekelly.com/writing/teaser-tuesday/). It's cunningly concealed by the YA voice, but I think we have a match. :D

I think I agree with this. But who's #1?

#2 really did a great job being faithful to the original material.

Edited to add: OH, jeez, I posted this without reading the rest of the thread somehow. Para solved the whole thing! You are good!

ink wench
05-31-2009, 05:13 PM
Wow, I am in awe of Para's mad detective skillz!

As for the second, I also recognize a snippet from Karen's old sig, but I'll need to think on person #2.

alias octavia
05-31-2009, 06:19 PM
Oooohhh, this is so much fun! Good job Para on figuring out the first post. I don't know who person #2 is either, but I really enjoyed the excerpt.

sunna
05-31-2009, 06:35 PM
Para, you are scary. :Hail:

Hmm. Also got #1 from Karen's sig, but #2 is a tough one.

Karen Duvall
05-31-2009, 08:23 PM
Para, you are an astute observer! :) I'm surprised anyone remembered my old sig, let alone actually read it. Whoever added to my snippet was fairly close to guessing what happens next. It was so fun to read their take on the scene.

firedrake
05-31-2009, 08:30 PM
Wow, Para!! :Hail:

Now that you mention it, I can see that it's Karen for #1 but I get that more from her descriptions and her imagination. As for #2, I haven't a clue. It fits well, although it's more or less pure dialogue so I can see a difference.

Blondchen
05-31-2009, 08:52 PM
I'd like to claim I used my skills of genius, but I recognise #1 from Karen's sig. It's from Knight's Curse.

#2 is fiendishly tough! I require time to ponder.

Does anyone else think that Para is missing her calling as a detective? #1 IS Karen!


Wow, Para is good!

Rose, if you'd like to post the next 250 words or so of your original scene, please do! I'd recommend quoting the original post of mine and then adding your continuation below the quote. (It's going to get a little nutty in here with these things going up every day or so...)

ETA: Karen, you too, since Para's "outted" you as Mash-Up #2. Same thing - I'd quote the original post...

justme
05-31-2009, 09:09 PM
Here we go! There are 21 of these all together and just like when I assigned them, I'm pulling random numbers to post them. Lucky #7 is first up!

You'll see the break where the one writer left off and the other picked up. It's not meant to be a scene break. After a day or so, I'll post who the two authors were, and then the original author is free to post the "real" continuation of the scene. Sound good?

Ok. Let the fun begin!

~~~~~

Across the graveyard we went, past the lonely quarters of the deceased. Tombs stood as reminders of what once was. He yanked me around a tall moss covered tree. Jack’s voice carried my name across the warm night air, but I couldn’t answer. Freakin’ great. No way I would be able to explain my disappearance—if I survived. As the beast carried me away from the group, his helper loped beside us in the darkness, nothing more than a shadow in the night. The faces of my assailants weren’t visible in the murky corner of the graveyard, but I felt the fuzz on my attackers paw. The back of my legs scrapped against the concrete sidewalk. Thank goodness, I wore jeans. It still burned, though.

My natural instincts took over, my eyes changed, I felt the transformation taking place, and fur rapidly covered my body. Claws pointed from the tips of my fingers, the points of which were pink: remnants from the manicure of my human nails. I continued struggling as he pulled me farther away. Kicking and pushing, nothing worked. His hold on me felt like a vice grip squeezing as tightly as possible. Where were they taking me? Would they kill me right there in the graveyard? They laughed, mocking me. No doubt they were proud of their feat. My claws gouged at his paws—if only I could reach his head, I’d gouge his eyes out.

As the other one lumbered along beside us, he slipped on a stray rock distracting my captor. I took that opportunity to break free from the stinky fiend holding me. His breath smelled as if he’d eaten a rotten tuna sandwich and chased it with a tall glass of buttermilk. I shoved the beast until he was forced to release his grasp, then I lurched forward, falling. My body hit the ground with a thud, but I quickly righted myself. My claws held a death grip on my purse—I couldn’t lose it. Soon my transformation would be complete, so I draped the bag around my neck while I still could.

#

The transformation was miserable, left me aching as always, but at last I had an advantage. The idiots in front of me had no idea what these pink claws were capable of. Less concerned now with escaping with my life, I remembered Jack, still calling my name into the darkness. How to tell him not to worry? But that would have to wait: the two beasts were upright once more, disoriented but beginning to narrow their focus on me again.

I darted behind a headstone. I knew - as smart girls know cretins - how they would come after me. I could almost see them silently agreeing, sharing a self-satisfied wink. Sure enough, they quietly (what they thought was quietly) attempted to ambush me from either side of the tomb, giving me a grand opportunity to grab the scruffs of both their necks and bash their heads together. They toppled and I jumped out of the way - about eight feet into the air: I forgot my own strength when I transformed, sometimes - as they collapsed against the headstone, which shifted in the warm, wet earth. I stepped over them to look at the front of it, mouthed an apology to Abigail Parkinson (Beloved Wife and Mother), and then started putting as much distance as possible between me and the two thugs passed out on the ground.

From the shelter of a copse of trees, I looked up at the moon, the stupid moon that kept me from Jack. What time was it? How much longer would I have to wait - how much longer would he wait before he gave up on me and left? Did he think I was already dead? I sat cross-legged on the leafy ground, resenting my ruined jeans and my ruined top and my ruined freaking manicure. The purse - my clawed hands flew to my neck. Yeah, the purse was ruined too. That was a bummer. But the contents were safe. "Bright side, bright side..." I whispered to myself, looking up at the moon again. Even if the filth in the graveyard stayed unconscious, it was going to be a long night.


Sister did a fantastic job! It's funny because I mention a name on a gravestone earlier in the scene. Strange. Anyway, here's the next 250 words.

I turned to face my attackers. They shifted to the left. The moonlight filtered through the trees, giving me a full view of their repulsive faces. Both bared their long, razor sharp, white fangs, titled their heads back and let out a ferocious howl. Jack’s voice echoed in the distance, urgency in his shouting—I had to hide from him. If he discovered us, he’d think more wild dogs were on the loose. Except for one teeny, tiny problem: one of the dogs would be wearing jeans and a silky white blouse. There had been no time to strip down. My clothes were ruined. One of the beasts stepped closer, exposing his fangs in a mocking smile. He licked his lips as if to say I’d be tasty even without ketchup.

Jack’s voice neared—I was running out of time. Letting out a growl, I slashed my claws across the front of my attacker’s face before he thought twice of pouncing. He fell back. How would I fight two? Without a lot of options, I took off in a lope to escape them. Both rushed behind me, clipping at my feet. I didn’t know how long I could keep up the pace. The whole disgusting scenario should be a lesson to me: fit visits to the gym into my schedule more often. Oh, and don’t bother dating—it never works out!

“Get away from me, you dirty bastards!” I huffed with undisguised anger. Luckily, in werewolf form we retained our ability to speak as humans, since we kept some human features.

Karen Duvall
05-31-2009, 09:20 PM
You guys did amazingly well with the first one. So let's see how you do with this!

~~~~~

Shui spun one way, then the other, claws raking the air where Aydin had stood. Gavin grabbed him around the neck and when he shoved that odd but beautiful knife against Shui's throat, the gargoyle froze.

"Don't make me use it." Gavin slid the knife gently over the gray, scaly skin, but didn't cut him. From the panicked look on Shui's face, I could tell this knife was special.

Interesting. The knife held some kind of power over the gargoyle. Was it enchanted? Coated in poison strong enough to kill an immortal?

Shui's eyes closed, an expression of calm replacing his alarm. In that instant he appeared almost human. As if resigned to follow his master's command, he remained still, chest heaving, his leathery wings folded and tucked close to his sides.

Gavin shoved him at me. I stiffened when Shui clutched both my shoulders to flip me onto my stomach on the bed.

"Careful," Gavin said.

His claws sliced through my jacket, his hot breath bathing my neck as the room's cool air chilled my bloody back. Shui hovered close, inhaling my scent, one claw tracing an immature wing that struggled to break free. He'd rip the wing off if he could, and use it like a toothpick after dining on what was left of my human body.

But he didn't. He leaned down and ran his slimy tongue over my tattoo, letting it linger there. I didn't protest. I needed my fix, and maybe it would take longer this time for his saliva to take effect. The fever stopped almost immediately, and I felt my baby wings shrink, drawing themselves back inside my body. It hurt, but I didn't mind. I just wanted them gone.

Shui retreated and hobbled back to Gavin.

I lay on the hard, lumpy bed, silent and exhausted, and thoroughly relieved. I wondered if Aydin was still in the room somewhere. Had he witnessed what had happened, what I'd let Shui do? That was my last thought before I passed out.

#

When I finally woke up, I rolled over and felt a warm body next to me. It was Gavin.

“You know eventually this isn’t going to work anymore and the transformation will happen.” He was lying on his back, speaking so casually, as if we were lovers.

It was easy for him to say. He wasn’t the one changing. However, I knew he was the only one who could help me.

“You’ve reversed the process before. I’ve heard stories about you.”

He sat up and looked down at me. “I’m thrilled that you think that highly of me, but it’s not as easy as you make it sound.” He glanced over at the fireplace. Shui was there, leering at me.

I couldn’t stand the sight of the creature. He was a constant reminder of what I was to become.

“Where’s Aydin?”

“He is safe,” Gavin answered, “for now.”

“Did he see…”

“No. Your secret is still safe.”

I sat up. Waves of pain crashed inside my skull like a stormy sea. “What was with the blade? Quasimodo over there freaked out at the sight of it.”

“A little insurance policy. Sometimes he gets carried away, and I need to remind him there are consequences for his actions.”

“Is that what you’ll do to me? Threaten me with that blade, or worse.”

His eyes locked onto mine, and his features softened. “Never,” he whispered.

“Then you’ll help me?”

Gavin let out a sigh that spoke more than any words could.

I knew he had strong feelings for me. “Please.” I hated begging.

“And if I do… what will you do for me?”

Swallowing hard, I answered. “Anything.”

Whoever added to my piece did a great job! You captured Chalice's personality pretty good. But Gavin is a super asshole of the highest order and she'd never ask him for his help. But you couldn't know that. :D

So here's what really happens:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I opened my eyes in the dark. An explosive memory threatened to engulf me in agony. I remembered the fear, the fever, the sense of loss when I had almost changed into—-

I shot to my feet, grabbing my head with one hand while my other reached out for balance.

"Easy," said a man's voice from behind me.

"Don't touch me, Aydin." To say my nerves were on edge was an understatement. I wanted to hit something and he would make an easy target. I lowered myself back to the bed instead. "I'll be okay. Just a head rush."

"Not surprising after coming within a gnat's fart of turning all leathery and scaly." His voice sounded matter-of-fact, not teasing. I shuddered at how right he was.

I rubbed my bare arms, then hugged my chest, covering my naked breasts with my hands. Aydin had seen me half-naked! "Where's my shirt?"

"Ruined." I heard the crinkly sound of a plastic bag. "I took the liberty—"

"I think you took too many liberties."

"—of picking out a new t-shirt for you. I hope you like pink."

I hated pink. I yanked the shirt from his hands and pulled it over my head. "Thanks."

He hesitated before saying, "I didn't see… You know."

He sat in the chair beside the little round table by the window. Not believing a word, I squinted at him in the dark.

He cleared his throat. "Okay, so I didn't see much. Kept my eyes closed this whole time. Promise."

"I bet you did." He was such a liar. A conman. A demon dealer. I wanted to trust him, but I wasn't sure I could. "Where's Gavin?"

"He left with Shui as soon as it got dark. Threw a blanket over him and walked him out to the Hummer. They're probably back at the Fatherhouse by now."

I rubbed my arms again and he tossed a blanket over my shoulders, careful not to lay a hand on me. Smart man.

Blondchen
06-01-2009, 01:44 AM
OMG, that was so fun. Karen and her #2 had completely different interpretations of the scene. I LOVE IT!

So, anymore guesses as to who #2 is?

Parametric
06-01-2009, 01:46 AM
I figured I'd give everyone else a chance before I went all forensic. :tongue

alias octavia
06-01-2009, 02:24 AM
But Para, you are like our special agent we call in to look at all the clues....
Seriously, I have no idea who it is. I've tried reading teaser tuesdays and I've figure out a few people I'm pretty sure it is not.

Amarie
06-01-2009, 03:15 AM
I'll make a guess. I don't recognize the style at all, so since I haven't been reading much of the teaser Tuesdays, I'm going to guess people whose work I haven't read.

1. Houndrat
2. Lara
3 Juneluv

Juneluv12
06-01-2009, 04:23 AM
I'm not sure if I'm supposed to do this or not...but it's not me. :tongue

Kris
06-01-2009, 04:25 AM
I'll make a guess. I don't recognize the style at all, so since I haven't been reading much of the teaser Tuesdays, I'm going to guess people whose work I haven't read.

1. Houndrat
2. Lara
3 Juneluv


I can't remember why, but I was going to say Houndrat too. (it's not me) :)

Parametric
06-01-2009, 04:30 AM
Not enough slang for houndrat. Now if only it had lots of distinguishing quirks so I could figure out who it is. :tongue

Kris
06-01-2009, 04:31 AM
Not enough slang for houndrat. Now if only it had lots of distinguishing quirks so I could figure out who it is. :tongue

It's almost getting funny how good you are at this!

Kris
06-01-2009, 04:40 AM
Is it cuteshoes or sunna? A guess based on some pretty vague ideas about #2 going in a sweeter direction than the original story, and cuteshoes & sunna both seeming like sweeties.

firedrake
06-01-2009, 04:43 AM
I'm leaning towards Sunna.

Blondchen
06-01-2009, 04:48 AM
I'm not sure if I'm supposed to do this or not...but it's not me. :tongue

No rules! You can totally decline ownership if someone guesses you. BTW, no one's been right so far on Karen's #2!

Kris
06-01-2009, 04:52 AM
Grr! Okay, Tasha? Or Maui Author?

I know, I'm getting dangerously close to pure process of elimination now! :)

Parametric
06-01-2009, 04:58 AM
Okay, striking out me, Karen (who provided the original) and sister (who already did a continuation), plus houndrat (too slangy for this continuation) and sunna, cuteshoes, juneluv and lara (already guessed and nobody's been right so far), that leaves ...

firedrake - who has a very lyrical, descriptive style which doesn't fit here.
Red - I identify Red's writing so strongly with Axyl's voice that I'm not sure quite how her work reads outside of that novel, but I'm pretty sure this isn't it.
jy'lenn and tasha both have grammatical/punctuation quirks not present here.
Tasmin - no.

I still have some options left, so I'm looking at them (while I try to do the writing I'm actually supposed to be doing :tongue).

Blondchen
06-01-2009, 05:04 AM
I'm glad I'm single-handedly responsible for Para not doing her edits. :D

Parametric
06-01-2009, 05:05 AM
I hate you, Blond. I'm supposed to be doing cunning plans and heartbreaking tragedy here. Stop enjoying my pain. :tongue

suki
06-01-2009, 05:06 AM
Ok, for the second continuation:

Some are just no way to eliminate, so I am aignoring them for now. From the ones I'm able to actually look at, I was thinking Irys, Blond or Para. So, assuming Para was honestly taking herself out, I'm left with Irys and Blond...and I'm gonna guess Blond.

~suki

firedrake
06-01-2009, 05:07 AM
I have this mental image of Para sitting, her face lit by the backglow of her monitor, scoffing rock cakes, as she scans our Teaser Tuesdays in search of the culprit second writer.

Parametric
06-01-2009, 05:08 AM
Blond is the first person I've put on my "maybe" list. Her style is pithy and economical with words, which fits the excerpt.

Blondchen
06-01-2009, 05:10 AM
Nope, nope and nope. Keep trying! (I'll post results and the next entry in 2 or 3 hours...)

Parametric
06-01-2009, 05:13 AM
Okay, taking out Irys and Blond, I only have 6 people left. It is really tough to tell people apart when they don't do really weird stuff. :tongue

houndrat
06-01-2009, 05:18 AM
OMG, I just got back from Palm Springs and there's craziness going on over here! I am also amazed at Para's detective skills--I think I was thinking of Sister as a possibility for the one, and maybe Karen, but the others? I had no clue.

I also think I'm starting to get a complex, lol..."houndrat=slang" :)

houndrat
06-01-2009, 05:25 AM
What about Branwyn for #2????

Karen Duvall
06-01-2009, 05:28 AM
Okay, taking out Irys and Blond, I only have 6 people left. It is really tough to tell people apart when they don't do really weird stuff. :tongue

Hmmm... I wonder if I do weird stuff. Like how easy will it be for you to pick me as #2 on the one I did. Mwahahahaaha!

Karen Duvall
06-01-2009, 05:29 AM
What about Branwyn for #2????

I bet you're right! I think it IS Branwyn. *scratches chin and squints in consternation*

Parametric
06-01-2009, 05:29 AM
Hmmm... I wonder if I do weird stuff. Like how easy will it be for you to pick me as #2 on the one I did. Mwahahahaaha!

I predict you'll be nearly impossible. :tongue

Blondchen
06-01-2009, 05:54 AM
What about Branwyn for #2????

And it's Houndrat coming around the outside down the homestretch for the win!!!!!

I have to say, this was a toughie. It didn't sound like a lot of what I've read from Branwyn's teasers, which I think is kinda cool!

OK. Next one up in a few...

Parametric
06-01-2009, 05:55 AM
Good call! :D

houndrat
06-01-2009, 05:56 AM
Wow! I don't know why, but I'm so excited somehow! :)


ETA: I'm not even quite sure why, but this line made me think of Branwyn:

"Waves of pain crashed inside my skull like a stormy sea."

Along with some of the dialogue. Then again, it could've just been a lucky guess.....

houndrat
06-01-2009, 06:04 AM
And this part is what made me think of Karen:

His claws sliced through my jacket, his hot breath bathing my neck as the room's cool air chilled my bloody back. Shui hovered close, inhaling my scent, one claw tracing an immature wing that struggled to break free.

houndrat
06-01-2009, 06:05 AM
and this line was pure Sister:

"Bright side, bright side..."

:)

suki
06-01-2009, 06:35 AM
Good job, Houndrat!

After eliminating the less, um, sparse writers, this is the line that kept jumping out at me as using humor and an edge:

I sat up. Waves of pain crashed inside my skull like a stormy sea. “What was with the blade? Quasimodo over there freaked out at the sight of it.”

But as someone who has never read the teasers, this is really fascinating.

~suki

Tasmin21
06-01-2009, 07:18 AM
Okay, striking out me, Karen (who provided the original) and sister (who already did a continuation), plus houndrat (too slangy for this continuation) and sunna, cuteshoes, juneluv and lara (already guessed and nobody's been right so far), that leaves ...

firedrake - who has a very lyrical, descriptive style which doesn't fit here.
Red - I identify Red's writing so strongly with Axyl's voice that I'm not sure quite how her work reads outside of that novel, but I'm pretty sure this isn't it.
jy'lenn and tasha both have grammatical/punctuation quirks not present here.
Tasmin - no.

I still have some options left, so I'm looking at them (while I try to do the writing I'm actually supposed to be doing :tongue).

For some reason, this amused the hell out of me. *snicker*

Red-Green
06-01-2009, 07:49 AM
This is all totally fascinating. I am thus far terrible at it, but still fascinated.

alias octavia
06-01-2009, 09:14 AM
This is all totally fascinating. I am thus far terrible at it, but still fascinated.

Yeah, me too. Where is the next one blond?

Blondchen
06-01-2009, 09:45 AM
Here 'tis! Here 'tis! (Sorry, had to go drinking...)

~~~~~

Mash-Up #3 (yes, I'm just numbering them in order now, not using my weirdo numbering system which would have gotten confusing...)

The day the ministers of doctrine came for my mother was the day I declared war on my government. Eileena hadn’t ever been the greatest mother, but she’d been all I had.

She’d been someone who cared. That’s a rare thing to have in the Harbridge slums, and now I was motherless, homeless, furious, and, truth be told, scared shitless.

It’s the only reason I can think of for why I volunteered to be a suicide bomber.

“You ready?” Kent’s black mask muffles his voice, but I know it’s him. All the Children put on the stupid things when they took me in. It’s paranoia but I can’t blame them, I suppose. Planning treason isn’t really something you want to be caught at.

“Give me a minute?”

He leaves with a gesture that’s probably a nod, though the mask makes it hard to tell.

We are two stories up along some quiet street but that’s all I know. The Children keep the drapes closed, and tell me to stay away from the windows. Still, sounds of the street drift in: squealing children, bike horns, a blathering chicken or two. It all sounds insanely normal.

I quit my pacing in front of a beat up table in the corner. Two statues sit on it. The one that draws my eyes is of a very fat, almost round, woman with huge breasts, tiny arms, and no face. The Children call her Aphrodite, and say long before the Cleanse, people worshipped her as a goddess of love and plenty.

‘Course, now the Children blow stuff up in her name, but whatever. How you get death and destruction from love and plenty isn’t my concern. My concern is feeling like I should say a prayer or something before I join the death and destruction, and praying to the Benefactor doesn’t seem wise. I mean, I’m about to blow up one of His churches—not exactly something likely to endear me to Him. So Aphrodite will have to do.

#

I kneel; the floor creaks under me. And I can't think of anything to pray for. It's been so long since I tried I don't even know how any more. Lucky for me, the goddess has no face. It makes it possible for me to mutter a half-sincere request –don't let this be for nothing-- but I can picture her expression without much trouble even so.

I'm going to die today. I can't make myself believe that.

"Nerves?"

Quiet shoes are part of the standard outfit too, apparently, right along with sarcasm. I look into the eyeholes of Kent's mask and stand, not bothering to answer. My mouth is dry. "What now?"

Even with the mask on I know he's raising his eyebrows. He points with his chin toward the other room and gestures with a hand and I walk ahead of him into what used to be a kitchen: I can see where the oven was ripped away from the wall. Four more of the Children are there, faceless and silent. What they have spread all over the scarred old table in the center of the room is far more interesting than they are, and I put my hand out and let my fingertips scrape over the gritty surface of the vest. It looks something a fisherman might wear. They've loaded it already, probably so I'll have less time to think about what I'm doing. I shrug out of my jacket and stand patiently while Kent and one of the girls help me into it and start wiring.

I can still hear the children shouting from the living room window. Their voices don't seem real, and neither does the daylight.

Neither does the twenty extra pounds I'm wearing now. Kent is moving very carefully, masked face bent close to the trigger switch at my chest, and the rest of them are holding their breath. I breathe easy: suddenly it doesn't seem to matter much where this thing goes of, just so long as it does.

sistermorphine
06-01-2009, 03:16 PM
Good lord, that's powerful stuff, and I swear to God it sounds like both pieces were written by the same person. This is going to be quite the three-pipe problem for Para.

I was in London for the whole #2 debate but I was going to GUESS Bran! I really was! Really really well done, both of you!

(And Rose, I love what you gave me to work with. I tried to Buffy myself through it. I'm glad you liked it.)

sunna
06-01-2009, 03:35 PM
Bran, great job! I was totally lost there. And w00t to Houndrat for guessing!

I can tell I won't be getting much work done at work today. This is pretty riveting.


Is it cuteshoes or sunna? A guess based on some pretty vague ideas about #2 going in a sweeter direction than the original story, and cuteshoes & sunna both seeming like sweeties.

Can I just say: AWWWWWW.


I really can't remember the last time somebody thought that about me. :D


Also, I love reading the original, the mash-up, and then the rest of the original. This is fascinating.

ink wench
06-01-2009, 04:16 PM
Wow, I did not get the Branwyn vibe from #2. Impressive voice change there (versus her teasers)! And good work, Houndrat!

The continuation from #3 sounds so close to the original. Also impressive!

houndrat
06-01-2009, 05:37 PM
Hmm...I was going to guess #1 was by one of our Brits, but I'm not totally sure after re-reading it.... I'm going to think on it, and can I just say, I'm super impressed with both pieces??

And I'm going to say at least one of them is someone who doesn't do teasers...

Para---who does colons? Piece two has a couple of those... :)

Parametric
06-01-2009, 05:42 PM
Is #2 sunna, maybe?

firedrake
06-01-2009, 05:45 PM
I'm going to venture a guess that Tasha wrote the first part. Whoever wrote the second part has done a brilliant job of continuing the piece seamlessly. Something says, Para, to me.

Nice, tense stuff.

sistermorphine
06-01-2009, 05:45 PM
I think one of them is Ink.

cuteshoes
06-01-2009, 05:45 PM
Wow, somehow I missed this thread with my whirlwind weekend. Loved reading these! Since 1 and 2 have been discussed, I'll start iwth 3. I agree, very impressive continuation. Really captured the voice.

I have no guesses because I am not smart like that.

houndrat
06-01-2009, 05:50 PM
Hnmm...Para, you could be right, but I would almost expect the descriptions to sound a tad different with Sunna.

Now I'm going to have to check out her teasers again, lol......

houndrat
06-01-2009, 05:54 PM
I vote no on Ink (even though I'm probably wrong) :)

houndrat
06-01-2009, 06:08 PM
What about Blond for one of them?

Kris
06-01-2009, 06:16 PM
Let's think. Who writes about really bummer stuff? kidding!

I just have no idea on this one. I was going to guess firedrake for the continuation, but now you've guessed above, so I think it's not you. Maybe Parametric can deduce something from the ":" :)

Irysangel
06-01-2009, 06:20 PM
Wow, I don't know who wrote either one for #3, but the voice is AMAZING. I want to read more.

Going to be watching this one closely to see who it was. :)

Kris
06-01-2009, 06:22 PM
I like the voice too. Like the jokes in the 2nd half.

Irysangel
06-01-2009, 06:30 PM
I'm going to guess Tasmin for the first half. No particular reason why, just a guess/hunch.

houndrat
06-01-2009, 06:35 PM
Is anyone right? Anyone, anyone? You're killing us here.... :)

houndrat
06-01-2009, 06:36 PM
Any chance any of this is Red? Or is the character too normal (lol)...????????

ETA: Since I"ve thrown out two names, I should probably just wait--otherwise, pretty soon, I'll have named everyone on the list! :)

sunna
06-01-2009, 06:37 PM
I'm going to guess Tasmin for the first half. No particular reason why, just a guess/hunch.

Hm. I was thinking the same thing, Tas or perhaps Ink for the first part.

Still useless on the second part, as usual. I have no deductive skilz.

ink wench
06-01-2009, 06:39 PM
Any chance any of this is Red? Or is the character too normal (lol)...????????:roll:

I'm wondering about Tas, as well. After the first two, though, I've decided I suck at this guessing. So if I say Tas, the rest of you might want to switch your guesses!

houndrat
06-01-2009, 06:52 PM
:roll:

I'm wondering about Tas, as well. After the first two, though, I've decided I suck at this guessing. So if I say Tas, the rest of you might want to switch your guesses!


Well, I guess I was right in thinking it wasn't you! (unless you're doing a sneaky, double cross thing to confuse us all! :)

Seriously, we need some clues!

Tasmin21
06-01-2009, 06:54 PM
Well, I'll step up and say that neither section is me. I couldn't write in present tense if my life depended on it. It gives me the squicks for some reason. ;)

ink wench
06-01-2009, 06:59 PM
Well, I guess I was right in thinking it wasn't you! (unless you're doing a sneaky, double cross thing to confuse us all! :)

Seriously, we need some clues!Hey, there's TWO sections/writers. I only made ONE guess. :D

Bwahahaha!

houndrat
06-01-2009, 07:15 PM
Hey, there's TWO sections/writers. I only made ONE guess. :D

Bwahahaha!

Oh, no---now I'm REALLY confused! :) heeeeellllppppppppppppppp

houndrat
06-01-2009, 07:17 PM
What, is Blond actually WORKING or something, while we all sit here and stew? The nerve!

Irysangel
06-01-2009, 07:20 PM
Let's see. YA. Post-apocalyptic (theoretically).

I'm going to guess #1 is...cuteshoes? Because she writes YA and her project is a retelling. It could be a post apocalyptic retelling, right?

Maybe?

Still stumped on who wrote the 2nd half.

Tasmin21
06-01-2009, 07:21 PM
And what's killing me is that I so clearly REMEMBER someone talking about how their MC blew themselves up at the beginning of their story, but I can't remember WHO to save my life! Ugh!

houndrat
06-01-2009, 07:25 PM
Hmmm...just went to cuteshoes blog and read an excerpt, and it doesn't sound like the voice in this piece. Then again, it's a totally different character, so who knows? But my vote would be no.

Kris
06-01-2009, 07:25 PM
Hey, there's TWO sections/writers. I only made ONE guess. :D

Bwahahaha!

AHA...so one is Inkwench, but we don't know which one!

houndrat
06-01-2009, 07:27 PM
And what's killing me is that I so clearly REMEMBER someone talking about how their MC blew themselves up at the beginning of their story, but I can't remember WHO to save my life! Ugh!

Oh, crap, you're right--I seem to have a vague memory as well. Are we sure it isn't Red? I bet she'd blow up an MC in her story..... :)

ETA: and cuss---not everyone here would put "shitless" in their ms, probably.....but I think Blond would, too :)

ETA ETA: what the heck is my attachmnent to smileys? I swear, I am not a shiny, happy person all the time. I'm just a smiley addict!

houndrat
06-01-2009, 07:29 PM
AHA...so one is Inkwench, but we don't know which one!

Or she could just be messin' with our heads! Wasn't Ink guessing at the first section as Tas, though? Or no?

ink wench
06-01-2009, 07:35 PM
*does Mr. Green impression from Clue*
I'm not going to sit around here and wait for Blond to unmask me. I work for the State.... Since a couple people have guessed correctly.

Props to Sister and Sunna. I wrote the first half.

I have no clue who wrote the second.

Parametric
06-01-2009, 07:37 PM
sunna wrote the second. This was a really awesome first half/continuation pairing. I would totally keep reading.

sunna
06-01-2009, 07:41 PM
aHA! :D

Ink, that piece is just chock full 'o awesomeness. It took me three tries before I felt like I might be doing it some justice.

Post the next 350???? *bats eyes*


This is so much fun.

Irysangel
06-01-2009, 07:46 PM
That piece is definitely full of awesome! I want to see the next part too, so we can compare with the other person's. :)

houndrat
06-01-2009, 07:47 PM
You guys were AWESOME on that! I was soooooo lost and way off base! And I'd love to read more--that was some really cool stuff. :)

houndrat
06-01-2009, 07:49 PM
Para--I want to know how you pegged Sunna for the second half!

ink wench
06-01-2009, 07:55 PM
Sunna, I love your continuation! And I do go there, but first I have an interlude to hint at the weirdness to come.

How did you guess it was me?

###

Whole scene...

The day the ministers of doctrine came for my mother was the day I declared war on my government. Eileena hadn’t ever been the greatest mother, but she’d been all I had.

She’d been someone who cared. That’s a rare thing to have in the Harbridge slums, and now I was motherless, homeless, furious, and, truth be told, scared shitless.

It’s the only reason I can think of for why I volunteered to be a suicide bomber.

“You ready?” Kent’s black mask muffles his voice, but I know it’s him. All the Children put on the stupid things when they took me in. It’s paranoia but I can’t blame them, I suppose. Planning treason isn’t really something you want to be caught at.

“Give me a minute?”

He leaves with a gesture that’s probably a nod, though the mask makes it hard to tell.

We are two stories up along some quiet street but that’s all I know. The Children keep the drapes closed, and tell me to stay away from the windows. Still, sounds of the street drift in: squealing children, bike horns, a blathering chicken or two. It all sounds insanely normal.

I quit my pacing in front of a beat up table in the corner. Two statues sit on it. The one that draws my eyes is of a very fat, almost round, woman with huge breasts, tiny arms, and no face. The Children call her Aphrodite, and say long before the Cleanse, people worshipped her as a goddess of love and plenty.

‘Course, now the Children blow stuff up in her name, but whatever. How you get death and destruction from love and plenty isn’t my concern. My concern is feeling like I should say a prayer or something before I join the death and destruction, and praying to the Benefactor doesn’t seem wise. I mean, I’m about to blow up one of His churches—not exactly something likely to endear me to Him. So Aphrodite will have to do.

I close my eyes and try to clear my mind like the church proctors teach, but my mind is already clear. Kent will likely laugh at me if he hears praying, so I keep my voice low. “Aphrodite sustain me. Nourish me, body and soul. Keep me among the chosen. Bless me and….” Well, hell no. I’m not about to finish the Benefactor’s prayer by asking for a blessing on the proctors and providers and their asshole ministers. Screw that. Blessing me is good enough.

I take a couple deep breaths, and memories of Eileena dance through my head. Me, when I was about six, pounding bread dough while she laughed—that was the first time I started calling her Eileena instead of Mama. She never had acted like much of a mama. I remembered her braiding my unruly hair with gentle fingers, saying my name over and over again—Diana, Diana, Diana—like it was some kind of love song. More recent memories drift by, too, but I don’t dwell on them. We hadn’t always agreed on everything, Eileena and me.

I stand, and that’s when the statue of Aphrodite shakes its head.

What the hell?

No, the statue stands perfectly still. Just like statues are supposed to do. Okay, maybe I’m not as calm as I think.

Tucking the stray strands of hair behind my ears, I call for Kent.

“How many times do I got to tell you? No names.” He crosses his arms. “You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

He motions for me to follow him. With one glance at the statue, I trail him out of the room. Aphrodite’s not moving, but I swear she’s turned her back on me. Like the goddess is pissed. And just for a moment, I wonder if blowing myself up is going to help anything.

Karen Duvall
06-01-2009, 07:55 PM
I was totally lost at guessing either pieces, but they're both awesome! Nice job, Ink and Sunna!

Parametric
06-01-2009, 07:57 PM
Para--I want to know how you pegged Sunna for the second half!

Experience. :tongue

Red-Green
06-01-2009, 08:01 PM
Good stuff! This is awesome...and proof that I'm not the only person who would blow up an MC. :D

sistermorphine
06-01-2009, 08:02 PM
Beautiful - brava to both of you!

cuteshoes
06-01-2009, 08:09 PM
Nice job, both of you!

firedrake
06-01-2009, 08:10 PM
Brilliant stuff, ladies! :Hail:

sunna
06-01-2009, 08:24 PM
How did you guess it was me?

Well, this was the first I've read of yours in present, but the voice here has a very familiar punch to it: clean, smart, descriptive, and easy on the eyes. Lovely.

You have no idea how hard it was to restrain my natural compulsion to strew adjectives and punctuation willy-nilly. It was a very good lesson for me. :)



Experience. :tongue

Experience pruning my penchant for all things semicolon into some kind of sense, that is. She's too nice to say so. :D

Blondchen
06-01-2009, 08:51 PM
What, is Blond actually WORKING or something, while we all sit here and stew? The nerve!

Sorry, guys. Had an absolute CLUSTER FUCK at the office when I arrived (30 minutes earlier than usual) due to a power outage over the weekend. Just no managed to get the internet back up.

So, you're all ahead of me. Ink was the original author of #3 and Sunna did the continuation. I was totally blown away by this one - the voices and styles were so close it could have been the same author. Also, I must say I was impressed with Ink's original here. I've read alot of her stuff and this was the deepest, most emotionally complex piece of her writing I've ever read.

Ink, if you'd like to post how the scene really goes, please quote the original!

Thankfully, I emailed myself the next one up, just in case this happened. But I'll warn you - if you figure this out too fast you'll have to wait til later tonight for the next one!

Parametric
06-01-2009, 08:53 PM
So, you're all ahead of me. Ink was the original author of #3 and Sunna did the continuation. I was totally blown away by this one - the voices and styles were so close it could have been the same author. Also, I must say I was impressed with Ink's original here. I've read alot of her stuff and this was the deepest, most emotionally complex piece of her writing I've ever read.

I agree completely, it was beautiful. I want more than just the next 300! Lots more! :tongue

Blondchen
06-01-2009, 08:54 PM
Yes, and apparently Ink already posted the continuation. Today I am made of Mash-Up Fail.

Give me 20 minutes and I'll have the next one...

ink wench
06-01-2009, 09:03 PM
My bad. I thought about including the original, but forgot by the time I hit "post." Doh.

Irysangel
06-01-2009, 09:04 PM
Can I just say thank you for putting this together, Blond? I have to admit that I'm having far more fun than I thought. It's a lot of work on your end but I'm enjoying it so much!

So thank you! You are my favoritest purgie ever.

houndrat
06-01-2009, 09:06 PM
We love you, Blond! I don't have the organizational genes to pull this off in a billion years.

and Ink, I agree--I seriously thought that opener was the bomb. Is that what you're working on now?

Irysangel
06-01-2009, 09:19 PM
and Ink, I agree--I seriously thought that opener was the bomb.

Oh, the puns that spring to mind.

Blondchen
06-01-2009, 09:41 PM
This one makes me giggle.

~~~~~

Back at the hotel, Olivia had plenty of time to repent not following her second instinct/fantasy. Marnie and Amy shut all six girls up in one suite with another chaperone and then they rounded on Olivia.

"How long was it going on before you came to get me?" Marnie said.

"I don't know. I came and got you as soon as I saw it," Olivia said, as stupidly surprised at the contempt in the question as she had been in similar situations in high school.

"Why didn't you intervene?"

"I didn't know what to say," Olivia said.

"How about 'stop'?"

"We just covered this last week," Amy said. "We talked about abstinence in group last week."

"I'm not a regular counselor. I don't go to group every week." Olivia hated how plaintive she sounded, but she couldn't seem to stop herself.

"Well, you can't just let them go off by themselves. You have to stay close to them."

"I can't believe you didn't reach out to Selena," Marnie said, shaking her head. Selena? Not Erica then.

"I don't know her."

"You still should have done something." Marnie said. She and Amy shook their heads in unison. That robotic self-satisfaction finally roused Olivia to anger.

"You asked me to do this as a favor!"

Marnie was silent for a moment and then in a low, sneaky voice, she said, "I won't make that mistake again."

#

“No, you won’t.” Olivia curled her fingers into fists until she felt her nails bite into her palms. “Unless you stop taking advantage of me and hanging me out to dry, I’m not helping anymore.”

“Who the hell are you to talk to me like that?” Marnie’s voice was a snarl.

“One very pissed-off non-full time counselor who’s sick and tired of being used.”

Amy rolled her eyes.

Olivia glared at them, hating their smug, self-righteous expressions. “I saw that. You don’t even have the wit to answer me. Yea, rolling your eyes is the answer to everything, isn’t it Amy? God forbid that you should actually have to do anything to help those girls.”She took a deep breath. She was on a roll now. “God forbid anything should interfere with your social life… whatever that might be.”

“You’re useless.” Marnie’s eyes were flat with contempt.

“You’re a vain, lazy, stupid, self-absorbed cow. You don’t care about those girls. This is just a nice, cushy little job for you until you can find some brain-dead City boy who’d be dumb enough to marry you, someone with a Trust Fund and cataracts.”

“We don’t have to listen to this crap.” Amy put her hand on Marnie’s arm. “Tell her she can’t talk to us like that, Marnie. She’s well out of order.”

Olivia leaned against the chair and folded her arms. Nothing they could say would bother her. “Stick a fork in me, I’m done.” She picked up her handbag and swept out of the room, making sure she slammed the door behind her.

houndrat
06-01-2009, 09:41 PM
Oh, the puns that spring to mind.


Lol--Freudian slip or what???

Kris
06-01-2009, 10:10 PM
#4---could the second writer be Jy'Lenn?

jy'lenn
06-01-2009, 10:13 PM
#4---could the second writer be Jy'Lenn?
I confess!!!!

It wasn't me. but thanks for the compliment!

Sorry! I'm staying out of the guessing game, 'cause I haven't read enough of everyone's to figure out who it could be. (some of the blogs are blocked here at work... darn them!)

houndrat
06-01-2009, 10:22 PM
Okay, cracking up about this one!

houndrat
06-01-2009, 10:23 PM
How can you not like "vain, lazy, stupid, self-absorbed cow"????

Maybe the second part is firedrake (I have no idea why--I think I just pulled that name out of my butt. There's, like, zero description that screams fire or anything....)

jy'lenn
06-01-2009, 10:24 PM
just because I can, I'm gonna say houndrat did the second half. (and I'm probably wrong here, lol)

eta: either you're being a sneaky purgy, or I'm very much WRONG!!! and I also love that comment! hehehehehe

Karen Duvall
06-01-2009, 10:25 PM
I like "How about 'stop'?" LOL! This is a tough one, as are they all. I really suck at this game. *grumblegrumble* But I am intrigued by what the girls got into trouble doing. That's what I want to know. :)

houndrat
06-01-2009, 10:26 PM
just because I can, I'm gonna say houndrat did the second half. (and I'm probably wrong here, lol)

eta: either you're being a sneaky purgy, or I'm very much WRONG!!! and I also love that comment! hehehehehe

That's so funny--I could seriously see me writing some of that. But it wasn't me! :)

jy'lenn
06-01-2009, 10:31 PM
I like "How about 'stop'?" LOL! This is a tough one, as are they all. I really suck at this game. *grumblegrumble* But I am intrigued by what the girls got into trouble doing. That's what I want to know. :)
there's gonna be at least one easy one. :D ok, maybe two since my writing kinda sticks out like a sore thumb. (see, I at least admit it! lol)

ink wench
06-01-2009, 10:32 PM
“You’re a vain, lazy, stupid, self-absorbed cow." <-- Hahaha!

Eh, I'm not even bothering to guess yet. I need to go read some Purgie blogs before I attempt.

Maui Author
06-01-2009, 10:33 PM
This is fun! Hmm... I'm going to guess CuteShoes is one of them.

Blondchen
06-01-2009, 10:34 PM
How can you not like "vain, lazy, stupid, self-absorbed cow"????

Maybe the second part is firedrake (I have no idea why--I think I just pulled that name out of my butt. There's, like, zero description that screams fire or anything....)

OMG! Houndie's like 2 for 2! Yes, Firedrake is our #2 author for Mash-Up #4. Now, who's #1?

firedrake
06-01-2009, 10:34 PM
This is fun! Hmm... I'm going to guess CuteShoes is one of them.

Yes, I'd say CuteShoes too.

ETA: Curses! Rumbled! It's a fair cop, Guv. :D Well done, Houndrat!

Parametric
06-01-2009, 10:37 PM
firedrake? How'd you work that out, HR? Nice work!

Blondchen
06-01-2009, 10:39 PM
And no, not cuteshoes. Keep trying!

houndrat
06-01-2009, 10:43 PM
Em, Blond obviously missed my horrible guesses on the last one, lol.

I guessed firedrake off of her board-posting voice, not her serious writing voice, lol....same way I guessed Sister. :)

ETA: not that fire runs around calling people vain lazy cows.....

Kris
06-01-2009, 10:44 PM
Is #1 Maui Author?

houndrat
06-01-2009, 10:46 PM
I have no clue who number one is....maybe I should go guess someone I haven't read much from before....

jy'lenn
06-01-2009, 10:53 PM
is anyone keeping a tally on who HAS been guessed???

eta: or rather, who has already had their mash-ups posted?

Irysangel
06-01-2009, 11:15 PM
Maybe alias?

Blondchen
06-01-2009, 11:16 PM
No, no and no.

Juneluv12
06-01-2009, 11:18 PM
Could #1 be Tasha?

JenWriter
06-01-2009, 11:23 PM
Oh man, now I'm wishing I had done this! So much fun. And I have no freaking clue who either of the writers are on this last one.

Blondchen
06-01-2009, 11:35 PM
Is this the part where you all just keep guessing names until I say you're right? How about a clue then?

It's a least likely suspect.

Also, would love to hear some more comments on the writing! Personally, I love #1's set-up. So smart, just enough detail to intrigue me, and some really well-designed characters, all in under 300 words. Firedrake did an awesome job of continuing, but with her own unique voice which I also loved. I can't wait to see the original continuation of this scene. I'm wondering how different they are!

houndrat
06-01-2009, 11:38 PM
Is this the part where you all just keep guessing names until I say you're right? How about a clue then?

It's a least likely suspect.

Also, would love to hear some more comments on the writing! Personally, I love #1's set-up. So smart, just enough detail to intrigue me, and some really well-designed characters, all in under 300 words. Firedrake did an awesome job of continuing, but with her own unique voice which I also loved. I can't wait to see the original continuation of this scene. I'm wondering how different they are!

If "vain lazy cow" is in the original version as well, I'll eat my laptop. :)

houndrat
06-01-2009, 11:39 PM
and I agree with Blond--I got a good feel for all the characters, just in a few measly words. Very nice.


ETA: I don't even konw who the least likely suspect would be. Sister? Red? I did find the / at the beginning interesting.....

JenWriter
06-01-2009, 11:41 PM
Redzilla?

houndrat
06-01-2009, 11:42 PM
Redzilla?

Ha! See my ETA above. :)

houndrat
06-01-2009, 11:45 PM
Hmnmm.....does "rounded on Olivia" sound more Brit to anyone other than me? I know I would say "turned on Olivia"......


ETA: maybe the tiny excerpt I took shows why saying "turned on" isn't so good after all, lol

jy'lenn
06-01-2009, 11:51 PM
I think I've read too many old books (erle stanley gardner-age books, lol) and found "rounded on Olivia" natural and common. Hmmmm... then again... I think he was a Brit, too. :) 'could be wrong... now I've gotta go google that!!! LOL!!

firedrake
06-01-2009, 11:59 PM
Is this the part where you all just keep guessing names until I say you're right? How about a clue then?

It's a least likely suspect.

Also, would love to hear some more comments on the writing! Personally, I love #1's set-up. So smart, just enough detail to intrigue me, and some really well-designed characters, all in under 300 words. Firedrake did an awesome job of continuing, but with her own unique voice which I also loved. I can't wait to see the original continuation of this scene. I'm wondering how different they are!

*blushes and shuffles feet*

aww shucks.

It was a brilliant set up and a real challenge for me. I want to know what it's all about!!!

Right, I've had a look at the list....would it be Teriann?

sunna
06-02-2009, 12:01 AM
Can I just say thank you for putting this together, Blond?

DITTO.

Argh, work is insane today or I'd be in here more often.

Vain, lazy cow... :roll:. Brilliant, and so very uplifting. :D

As for #1, what's driving me nuts is I swear I've READ some of this, in a teaser or in SYW, but I can't find it. Blond is right; lovely setup, and the sense of bewildered, tentative outrage I'm getting from Olivia is so wonderfully strong it made me cringe a bit.

sunna
06-02-2009, 12:20 AM
..OK, I'm guessing Red.

Blondchen
06-02-2009, 12:32 AM
ETA: I don't even konw who the least likely suspect would be. Sister? Red? I did find the / at the beginning interesting.....


Redzilla?


..OK, I'm guessing Red.

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!

It was totally Red who, by the way, was getting an absolute kick out of no one picking up on her style. Nice one, dinolady.

So do I post another today or wait til tomorrow?

Red-Green
06-02-2009, 12:33 AM
Bwahahaha! Yes, my evilness knows no bounds.

firedrake
06-02-2009, 12:34 AM
WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!

It was totally Red who, by the way, was getting an absolute kick out of no one picking up on her style. Nice one, dinolady.

So do I post another today or wait til tomorrow?

hahahahahahaa! Brilliant!!!!

Red! Where's the rest! Enquiring minds want to know.

JenWriter
06-02-2009, 12:35 AM
Post more, Post more, Post more!

Blondchen
06-02-2009, 12:37 AM
And Red, could you PLEASE post your continuation at some point?

mikeland
06-02-2009, 12:37 AM
More, more, more!

Just dropping in to let you know that it ain't just the purgie women who are enjoying this. I'm representing for the purgie men.

Blondchen
06-02-2009, 12:38 AM
I'm glad I remembered that I have all of these in my gmail!

~~~~~

“Do you know who I am?”

I gulped. You know, forget the media propaganda telling us that celebrities these days are just everyday people. It’s crap. I stood in front of a hellfire diva, harkening back to the days of Joan Crawford. Amanda might as well have been seven feet tall, her eyes glowing red embers, her hair a seething mass of writhing snakes and I was a cowering child waiting to be whipped with a wire hanger.

“No.” I caught myself off guard. My brain was saying “Yes, of course I know who you are. You’re Amanda Ormé!” But my pride revolted.

It was not an acceptable answer.

“Have you been living under a fucking rock for the last ten years? I dated Charlie Sheen. Not Martin, not Emilio, Charlie.”

Was she kidding?

“I’m the face of City Girl Cosmetics. And I almost won a Golden Globe. Tom!” She called for her producer like she was summoning a servant. “TOM! Jesus, will somebody find him?”

Amanda focused on me, cocking her head to the right and narrowing her lovely green eyes. “I hope you enjoyed your time here because it’s just about over.”

The irony, of course, was that I’d never wanted this stupid job. I’m sure half the English department would have jumped at the opportunity, but not me. My only desire was to be left alone. But now that I was here, in the midst of the insanity of production and faced with this harpy who was ready to bite my head off, I realized I wanted, no, I needed to stay.

“Look,” I began, the illicit thrill of newfound confidence coursing through my veins. “I was hired to make sure the script is authentic to the novel, and I was just doing my job.”

“What novel?”

“Lady Susan.”

“You wrote Lady Susan?”

Was she serious? “What? No. I... Jane Austen..." The sheer stupidity of the moment caught me off guard.

“Look, I don’t care if you wrote it, it’s my screenplay now and it’s not a comedy.”

#

"Amanda, dear." Tom waved a clipboard at us and hustled over. His face looked like an artist's palette prepped to paint a sunset. Purples circled his eye, red brushed across his cheeks, and a swatch of blond hair rested under his lips. "You're needed at make up, darling." He ushered her forward and stepped in front of me, blocking my view of her.

She crossed her arms and jutted her chin toward me. "I'm not going anywhere until you fire her."

I fought back every urge not to stick out my tongue in mockery of her immaturity.

Tom glanced at me, his eyes squinting like he only just noticed I stood in this pow wow. “I don’t know who—“ He stared at me for a second before snapping his fingers and turning back to Amanda. "Sorry, but she's a hand out. Can't fire the charity cases."

I scoffed.

Amanda peered at me over Tom's shoulder. "Oh." Her face softened. “Are you sick? Is this, like, your last wish or whatever?” She beamed at me, obviously caring more about how I chose her as my last request and not about my supposed imminent death.

For a moment I considered playing it up, but the quick head shake from Tom stopped me. "No, I, uh...I'm getting college credit for this internship."

Her lips curved into a knowing smile. "Well, then. Fire away." She waved her hand at me like it might magically produce fairy dust and I'd vanish into thin air.

"Amanda..." Tom leaned into her and started cooing calm phrases like one might calm a screaming baby.

If I gave in now, she’d boss me around the entire semester. I squared my shoulders and stepped back into Amanda's line of view. "Tom, can I have the red pen?”

He glanced from me to Amanda, his mouth parted, before he dashed off in the opposite direction of us.

“I found a few extraneous lines in the script,” I told Amanda. “You might want to forget pages twelve and twenty-two.”

“But that’s most of my lines!”

I smiled. “I know.”

houndrat
06-02-2009, 12:42 AM
Cracking up again! Both writers have wicked senses of humor....

JenWriter
06-02-2009, 12:43 AM
The first one is so Blondchen.

Red-Green
06-02-2009, 12:44 AM
I dated Charlie Sheen! Not Emilio, Charlie. Brilliant. Once again, I have no clue. #literarydetectivefail

houndrat
06-02-2009, 12:45 AM
The first one is so Blondchen.

I was thinking that, too. The Joan Crawford thing was hilarious....

Irysangel
06-02-2009, 12:47 AM
The first one is a voice powerhouse! I detested Amanda. :) "Not Martin, not Emilio -- CHARLIE." Died. Laughing.

The second one seems to reign in the voice a little, but I think it also switches focus from Amanda-the-scene-eater to the narrator.

Love the humor in both. Love.

Kris
06-02-2009, 12:47 AM
Part 1 is totally riveting, but I have noooo idea, sadly! This game is a great way to learn everyone's writing style better. Mashup has fully exceeded my expectations.

The first part especially is written very tightly...snap, crackle, not a lot of wasted words. Does that speak to any of you who know the writing styles better than I do? I plead ignorance due to being sort of new!

Maui Author
06-02-2009, 12:49 AM
Loved both of these! Great writing!!

#1 Not sure.

Something about the descriptions in #2 made me think Karen.

firedrake
06-02-2009, 12:50 AM
I've got to go with Blond for the first part. Made me laugh from the start. The second writer does seem a bit more restrained, but it works well with the first part...and I love, love, love the last line. Classic. :D

houndrat
06-02-2009, 12:53 AM
Loved both of these! Great writing!!

#1 Not sure.

Something about the descriptions in #2 made me think Karen.

Possibly, or somebody else who does lots of visual imagery like this:


<<< Purples circled his eye, red brushed across his cheeks, and a swatch of blond hair rested under his lips. >>

Hmm...not sure if it's Karen, though. I'm a big maybe right now......

Red-Green
06-02-2009, 12:56 AM
As the set-up, Olivia got hornswoggled into being a chaperon for a church youth group concert outing. Marnie is the hornswoggling youth group director who until now had kept Olivia from participating. At the concert, Olivia finds herself in Mom mode, while Marnie hangs out with the kids. When Olivia sees one of her "sheep" making out with a strange boy, she doesn't know what to do, so she goes to get Marnie.

I'm giving a slightly longer continuation, because I know, you really want Olivia to fight back. Even if it's just a little.

###


Marnie breezed back through the suite door and on the other side, she said, "Everybody gather around here. We need to talk about something that happened tonight."

Olivia and Amy stood in the doorway, watching as Marnie wove her little web around a teary-eyed Selena. In a few minutes they were all hugging and crying and saying, "We love you, Selena. We want you to love yourself. We want you to respect yourself."

In Olivia's ear, Amy whispered, "Isn't she amazing? She's so good with them. I just--it makes me so happy to think she'll protect them from the mistake I made."

When Olivia glanced at her, Amy looked away, clearly regretting that she'd said too much. She separated herself from Olivia and fell into the arms of the crying, praying monster of teenaged girls. Olivia stayed where she was, watching that circle she hadn't been invited into and never would be.

#

Two minutes before lights out, Olivia's purse rang and at long last it was her own phone. She exhaled, put it to her ear and said, "Hello."

"Hey, Olivia," Rindell said softly.

"Hi. Did you get my message?"

Amy was eyeing her and in a fit of self-consciousness, Olivia went out into the hallway in her nightgown.

"I'm really sorry I had to cancel."

"That's okay, baby. Things happen.

"How are you?"

"Let's see, you want the whole deal or just the highlights? I got four minor car wrecks, a domestic call with a stab wound, two heart attacks and a tumble down the stairs at an old folks home. Pretty quiet day mostly. How was your day?"

"Long. Really long and awful," Olivia sighed, embarrassed at how paltry her day sounded next car wrecks and knife fights.

"Sorry to hear that." He sounded sincere and she didn't feel silly then.

They went on that way, talking about nothing until they wound down into silence. Thinking she ought to end the conversation, Olivia was about to speak when Rindell said, "I missed seeing you tonight. I was looking forward to it."

"You saw me this morning." Even alone, saying it made her blush.

"That twenty-two minutes wasn't exactly enough."

After that Olivia was too embarrassed to say anything and Rindell said, "I guess I better let you get back to it, huh?"

She managed a not too desperate good-bye, closed the phone, and leaned her head against the wall until she had the stupid smile on her face under control. When she reached for the doorknob, it didn't budge. Of course, hotel doors locked automatically and she hadn't bothered to get her room key when she went into the hallway. She knocked lightly on the door, but no one answered.

"Amy?" she called and knocked a little louder. The faint sound of muffled giggling answered her.

In her nightgown, she stood in the hallway knocking for a good two minutes until one of the male chaperones came out of his room on the opposite side of the hallway to see what the trouble was.

"They locked me out," Olivia mumbled.

He knocked on the door and called, "Girls, open the door. I'm not kidding."

A moment later, Amy opened the door, looking red in the face. She said, "I'm sorry. We didn't hear you knocking."

Olivia pushed past her and went to put her phone away. She looked at the bed she would have to share with some strange teenaged girl and wanted to cry. Amy stood in the circle of the other girls, looking annoyed.

"We were just having some fun," she said.

"People like you always do think it's fun when you humiliate someone," Olivia said. She felt done with the whole thing.

Amy looked stung, but she didn't protest or say, "People like me?" She knew what she was, one of the cool kids.

"We're sorry."

"No, you're not. Apologies don't count if you're still laughing."

After a moment of uneasy silence, Amy said, "We should pray." They prayed, Amy's voice brittle with insult, Olivia's husky and exhausted.

In the dark, one of the girls said, "Were you talking to your boyfriend?"

"Yes," Olivia said and regretted it. She couldn't see anything, but she suspected she heard the sound of smirking.

sunna
06-02-2009, 01:06 AM
Red, you rock. I'm in awe of your ability to write such completely different voices. :Hail:


Definitely guessing Blond for #1. For 2......hm. Para? Or maybe Houndrat?

firedrake
06-02-2009, 01:07 AM
Gah! Red! That's brilliant!

Love the "crying, praying monster of teenaged girls" and the telephone conversation.

:Hail:

Kris
06-02-2009, 01:08 AM
Love the continuation Redzilla and yes, I did want to see her push back.

I have no guesses for #2. I'm lame. But this is the funnest game ever.

houndrat
06-02-2009, 01:16 AM
Red, you rock. I'm in awe of your ability to write such completely different voices. :Hail:


Definitely guessing Blond for #1. For 2......hm. Para? Or maybe Houndrat?


Nope, not me! :)

ink wench
06-02-2009, 01:19 AM
Ooh, nice job, Red! So you can write non-psycho MCs too? :)

I'm guessing Blond for the beginning of #5, as well. Both pieces are hysterical.

justme
06-02-2009, 01:24 AM
I say Blond for beginning of #5, too. I may be nuts but it seems as if I've read that before.

Blondchen
06-02-2009, 01:25 AM
Okay, okay, FINE! Yes, #5 is me. Sheesh. That was too easy, people.

But #2's identity has not yet been hit upon....

sistermorphine
06-02-2009, 01:27 AM
I think Para for #2 as well. Both pieces marvelously done.

Red-Green
06-02-2009, 01:29 AM
Nah, later in the book, Olivia goes on a killing spree. :D I kid. She's a nice church secretary. Just like I was...


Ooh, nice job, Red! So you can write non-psycho MCs too? :)

firedrake
06-02-2009, 01:31 AM
Nah, later in the book, Olivia goes on a killing spree. :D I kid. She's a nice church secretary. Just like I was...

Damn you, I nearly snorted water OUT of my nose just then.

Blondchen
06-02-2009, 01:35 AM
Nah, later in the book, Olivia goes on a killing spree.

Um, can I read this book?????

jy'lenn
06-02-2009, 01:59 AM
Nah, later in the book, Olivia goes on a killing spree. :D I kid. She's a nice church secretary. Just like I was...
Awwww, come one!!! switch it to the killing spree!!! those headlines would be worth a million bucks in the novel!!

houndrat
06-02-2009, 02:06 AM
Any way the second part is Ink? Isry came to mind, but then I realized I don't think I've read any teasers from her, so probably not.....

Blondchen
06-02-2009, 02:10 AM
No hits yet on the #2 for Mash-Up 5....

Kris
06-02-2009, 02:24 AM
Oh, don't make me do my random guessing! Okay, is it Justme? Maui Author?

sunna
06-02-2009, 02:27 AM
Is it Ink?

Kris
06-02-2009, 02:28 AM
or houndrat? maybe? *voice grows increasingly timid*

Blondchen
06-02-2009, 02:29 AM
Nope, nope and nope.

houndrat
06-02-2009, 02:29 AM
Is it Ink?

I guessed Ink, too, but Blond nixed me. Wench. :)

ETA: nope, not me. Mine will probably be more obvious than Angelina Jolie suddenly repelling men and sprouting a third boob from her forehead. Wait--those two things are mutually exclusvie, aren't they?

firedrake
06-02-2009, 02:31 AM
eeee, I'm crap at t his.

Teriann?

Kris
06-02-2009, 02:34 AM
And Blondchen, did you post the continuation yet?

Houndrat LOL on the third boob. Somehow that third boob probably would end up being attractive.

Karen Duvall
06-02-2009, 02:35 AM
Red, that was brilliant! I loved it! I'm with Blond, I want to read that book.

I guessed right that Blond was the originator of #5, but have no clue who the continuing writer is. I'll have to go back and read through the list players again.

Kris
06-02-2009, 02:35 AM
Is there any chance that it's Branwyn or Juneluv?

Blondchen
06-02-2009, 02:38 AM
Ha. Are we running out of guesses yet?

And I'll post my own continuation when I get to my laptop tonight.

Kris
06-02-2009, 02:43 AM
I feel really dumb posting obvious guesses (If I don't know, I'm just posting people whose writing I've seen less or none of), but...

I WANT TO SEE THE NEXT ONE!!! :)

Juneluv12
06-02-2009, 02:48 AM
Yeah, I feel like an idiot, too!!

I'm just enjoying reading all the samples!!! Nerd alert!!

Teriann
06-02-2009, 02:49 AM
eeee, I'm crap at t his.

Teriann?

nope

But I would like to have written the part about how you can't fire charity cases. Hilarious.

Kris
06-02-2009, 03:28 AM
Is it Jy/Lenn? (sigh)

Maui Author
06-02-2009, 03:32 AM
Is it Tasha?

Red-Green
06-02-2009, 03:37 AM
Alias?

ink wench
06-02-2009, 03:46 AM
Is there anyone who hasn't been guessed yet?

Cuteshoes?

mikeland
06-02-2009, 03:47 AM
Ooooh! Ooooh! I know!

It's me! Isn't it? Is it me? Oh, I hope I'm right. Please let it be me!

Oh wait. My name's not on the list. Damn.

Who the f**k is it, Blond?

JenWriter
06-02-2009, 03:51 AM
I've got it!

It's one of these writers:

Firedrake
Sunna
Karen
Lara
Branwyn
Inkwench
JustMe
Irysangel
Jy'lenn
JuneLuv
Tasmin
Blondchen
Teriann
Cuteshoes
Maui Author
Sistermorphine
Alias Octavia
Parametric
Redzilla
Houndrat
Tasha

Maui Author
06-02-2009, 03:55 AM
Ooh, it is Para?

sunna
06-02-2009, 03:59 AM
:crazy: Blond, thou art cruel!

Irys?

*hoping nobody's guessed that yet and I missed it* :gone:

Karen Duvall
06-02-2009, 04:03 AM
See, I'm thinking Irys, too. The suspense is killing me!

JenWriter
06-02-2009, 04:08 AM
I'm starting to think Blondchen tricked us and wrote the second half, too!

Juneluv12
06-02-2009, 04:09 AM
I've got it!

It's one of these writers:

Firedrake
Sunna
Karen
Lara
Branwyn
Inkwench
JustMe
Irysangel
Jy'lenn
JuneLuv
Tasmin
Blondchen
Teriann
Cuteshoes
Maui Author
Sistermorphine
Alias Octavia
Parametric
Redzilla
Houndrat
Tasha


HAHAHH!!!:ROFL:

That answer was so what some of my 9th graders would say...but sadly, they'd be serious!!!

Blondchen
06-02-2009, 04:12 AM
Sorry! I had to drive home from work!! Sheesh. It's not my fault cuteshoes stumped you all! :P

Kris
06-02-2009, 04:15 AM
Curses!!! Cuteshoes! Why didn't I randomly guess...er, know that???

ink wench
06-02-2009, 04:15 AM
Yes! I finally got one! Never mind that I was pretty much guessing at random. *cough*

Blondchen
06-02-2009, 04:20 AM
This is from my first, much loved, must maligned novel O'DONNELL WITH TWO L'S. I still heart it so much. *sigh*

It was really interesting to see how Cuteshoes interpretted not only the narrator (Peggy) but Tom as well. My Tom is more a slicky-boy LA douche nozzle playing with daddy's money. Anyway, my scene picks up with Peggy's dialogue.




“Do you know who I am?”

I gulped. You know, forget the media propaganda telling us that celebrities these days are just everyday people. It’s crap. I stood in front of a hellfire diva, harkening back to the days of Joan Crawford. Amanda might as well have been seven feet tall, her eyes glowing red embers, her hair a seething mass of writhing snakes and I was a cowering child waiting to be whipped with a wire hanger.

“No.” I caught myself off guard. My brain was saying “Yes, of course I know who you are. You’re Amanda Ormé!” But my pride revolted.

It was not an acceptable answer.

“Have you been living under a fucking rock for the last ten years? I dated Charlie Sheen. Not Martin, not Emilio, Charlie.”

Was she kidding?

“I’m the face of City Girl Cosmetics. And I almost won a Golden Globe. Tom!” She called for her producer like she was summoning a servant. “TOM! Jesus, will somebody find him?”

Amanda focused on me, cocking her head to the right and narrowing her lovely green eyes. “I hope you enjoyed your time here because it’s just about over.”

The irony, of course, was that I’d never wanted this stupid job. I’m sure half the English department would have jumped at the opportunity, but not me. My only desire was to be left alone. But now that I was here, in the midst of the insanity of production and faced with this harpy who was ready to bite my head off, I realized I wanted, no, I needed to stay.

“Look,” I began, the illicit thrill of newfound confidence coursing through my veins. “I was hired to make sure the script is authentic to the novel, and I was just doing my job.”

“What novel?”

“Lady Susan.”

“You wrote Lady Susan?”

Was she serious? “What? No. I... Jane Austen..." The sheer stupidity of the moment caught me off guard.

“Look, I don’t care if you wrote it, it’s my screenplay now and it’s not a comedy.”

#

"Amanda, dear." Tom waved a clipboard at us and hustled over. His face looked like an artist's palette prepped to paint a sunset. Purples circled his eye, red brushed across his cheeks, and a swatch of blond hair rested under his lips. "You're needed at make up, darling." He ushered her forward and stepped in front of me, blocking my view of her.

She crossed her arms and jutted her chin toward me. "I'm not going anywhere until you fire her."

I fought back every urge not to stick out my tongue in mockery of her immaturity.

Tom glanced at me, his eyes squinting like he only just noticed I stood in this pow wow. “I don’t know who—“ He stared at me for a second before snapping his fingers and turning back to Amanda. "Sorry, but she's a hand out. Can't fire the charity cases."

I scoffed.

Amanda peered at me over Tom's shoulder. "Oh." Her face softened. “Are you sick? Is this, like, your last wish or whatever?” She beamed at me, obviously caring more about how I chose her as my last request and not about my supposed imminent death.

For a moment I considered playing it up, but the quick head shake from Tom stopped me. "No, I, uh...I'm getting college credit for this internship."

Her lips curved into a knowing smile. "Well, then. Fire away." She waved her hand at me like it might magically produce fairy dust and I'd vanish into thin air.

"Amanda..." Tom leaned into her and started cooing calm phrases like one might calm a screaming baby.

If I gave in now, she’d boss me around the entire semester. I squared my shoulders and stepped back into Amanda's line of view. "Tom, can I have the red pen?”

He glanced from me to Amanda, his mouth parted, before he dashed off in the opposite direction of us.

“I found a few extraneous lines in the script,” I told Amanda. “You might want to forget pages twelve and twenty-two.”

“But that’s most of my lines!”

I smiled. “I know.”

“Stop. I didn’t write it, I was just hired to read it and--"

“Read it? Who would want you to read it? Who do you think you are?”

“Tom hired me to read the screenplay and make sure that it’s authentic.”

“Oh, Tom hired you, did he?” She turned and hollered once more up the stairs. “Tom!"

I sighed and rolled my eyes which, unfortunately, she caught.

“Did you just roll your eyes at me? Do you know who I am?”

“You already asked me that.” All right. Time to take control of the insanity. “Yes, I know who you are. You almost won a Golden Globe and you dated Charlie Sheen. And I am a nobody who has never seen any of your movies. But I was hired to fact check this screenplay.” She still held the script open to the scene I’d been reading at her approach. “And to be honest, this scene is a mess.”

I noticed that the stairway was crowded with people, like children gathering to watch the carnage of a playground fight at recess.

“What?” she gasped. I noticed a slight twitching of her left eye. Tom appeared from the lower staircase, slowly maneuvering his way up to the landing where Amanda stood on the brink of a diva meltdown. His eyes flickered from Amanda to me and back, registering only the slightest interest in the situation.

“Ladies,” he said calmly by way of greeting. She whirled on him.

“Is this the person you hired to oversee my film?”

His eyes never left her face. “Sure.”

“You were supposed to get an expert and this--this... How is this,” she gestured towards me, “supposed to help?”

Hello? Was I in the room? “I can help by making sure you don’t make amateur mistakes in this film.” I knew that word would really get her going. I totally didn’t care. If I was going down, I was going down swinging.

sistermorphine
06-02-2009, 04:23 AM
Blond, love it!!

And cuteshoes, beautiful! Really good embracing of the tone there.

Dear Make a GretchKvetch Foundation,

Will there be another one?? Oh please? Remember me, pity girl? My dying Monday wish is to see one more, just one more.

Yours &c
Sister Esq.

cuteshoes
06-02-2009, 04:27 AM
Sorry guys, I saw you all guessing but I decided to stay out of it just to see if anyone would get me correct!


This is from my first, much loved, must maligned novel O'DONNELL WITH TWO L'S. I still heart it so much. *sigh*

It was really interesting to see how Cuteshoes interpretted not only the narrator (Peggy) but Tom as well. My Tom is more a slicky-boy LA douche nozzle playing with daddy's money. Anyway, my scene picks up with Peggy's dialogue.


Oh, very cool! I really wanted the protagonist to triumph over Amanda--what can I say, I was rooting for the narrator--so I structured everything to work that way for me. That's why Tom is the way he is. It was really difficult to get her to win in only 350 words! I got stumped because I wanted to have her actually win by persuading why Lady Susan should actually BE a comedy, except I have never read that and when I started researching...well, I wasn't coming up with any good arguments that were also funny. So I started over again with the new idea to get her to win.

Anyway, this one was a lot of fun and it really suited me since I have written humorous novels before.

I like your next part too! It's so interesting how two people will take it in different directions.

firedrake
06-02-2009, 04:31 AM
Ha! Brilliant way to continue the scene.I love the humor.

I love how Cuteshoes' addition worked so well and I still love her last line.:D

Blondchen
06-02-2009, 04:34 AM
Don't worry. Near the end, Peggy gives Amanda a public bitch-slapping that is a sight to behold!

Not that anyone ever will. Stupid, trunked novel. :(

houndrat
06-02-2009, 04:38 AM
We want more! We want more!

ink wench
06-02-2009, 04:39 AM
Excellent! Both continuations were great!

Blond, trunked novels never die. They just whimper from deep storage every now and then.

sunna
06-02-2009, 04:47 AM
Shana, what a great job! You picked up the voice and ran with it. Beautiful.

Blond --get that sucker published so I can buy it, okprettyplease?

Maui Author
06-02-2009, 05:00 AM
Well done Cuteshoes!!!

Blondchen, your novel sounds so fun! I'm so sad it's trunked! "Bring it back, bring it back" (chanted in the tone of 'Donna Martin graduate')

Blondchen
06-02-2009, 05:11 AM
Junkies.

~~~~~

Fighting the urge to start fanning her face like some modern day Scarlett O-Hara, only sans the corset and Southern accent, Sophie decided a graceful retreat was in order. Well, as graceful as she could manage. Since rational thought had deserted her, she once again relied on sheer luck to pluck words from her mouth.


Big mistake.

“Well, I’d better hop in your shower.”

Unbelievable. She closed her eyes in disbelief, uttering a silent prayer in her head. Maybe he hadn’t caught her slip of the tongue. After all, it was just one measly pronoun.

She snuck a peek at him from beneath her lashes. And cringed. Oh, he’d caught it, all right, if that blaze of amusement glowing in his eyes was any indicator.

“I meant my shower, of course, “ she muttered, the hint of red in her cheeks undoubtedly blossoming into full blown Technicolor by now. “Hop in my shower. Although, I’m sure yours is perfectly nice, “ she tacked on hastily, not wanting to offend him. Then grimaced. Like he cared what she thought of his shower.

What on earth had gotten into her? It wasn’t as though she hadn’t met attractive men before. Although the term “attractive” left something to be desired when it came to describing the sinfully beautiful male standing before her. She snuck another quick look at the man-God and swallowed.

“I’ve been satisfied with it, “ he murmured, eyes still deliciously warm with suppressed laughter.

Huh? She’d been so distracted by her thoughts, she’d forgotten what they were talking about.

“My shower,” he said, in response to her blank look.

Shower. Right. Suddenly, a vision of him in the shower popped into her head, all bronzy and God-like and…and… naked. She took a deep breath and with a colossal effort, forced her thoughts elsewhere. Really--the last thing she needed was to think about that. It was enough to make a girl faint.

#

A stuttered laughter escaped from her mouth and ripened with the high pitch of a self-conscious energy. He stepped in closer to her, and she averted her eyes from his gaze. She fanned at her face again, and stared at the scuff marks of her once white tennis shoes.

“Well, yes, I better be hitting my shower.” Her voice wavered. Damn I sound like such a little girl.

She shuffled her feet backwards and managed a step or two toward the door before her sneaker caught the lip of the red wool rug. For a moment, off-kilter and waving her arms in a struggle for balance, she saw him reaching for her flailing form. Too late, her tailbone bore the impact of the fall, hitting square on the bone. Her torso wrenched backwards, arms and legs akimbo, and her head struck the ground with a dull thud.

Fabulous.

Sophie was reluctant to examine the amusement that must be written all over him. She felt weighted down on the floor, heavy with the consequence of her pervasive clumsiness. When she opened her eyes that perfect face, his strong jaw arching up to the high cheek bones, hovered just above her. Dear God. She could feel his breath on her face, pricking her skin, and his lips were parted and moist.

“Are you okay?” he asked, there was no sign of that amusement she had been expecting, just the urgency of concern that lit up his eyes. There was no escaping his gaze now, she got a little lost studying the flecks of color in those amazing orbs. His arms framed her body and it took every ounce of willpower not to reach out and stroke the bulging, tanned biceps.

“No, ” she said and started to laugh. “ I mean, yes, I'm fine. I’m just so embarrassed.” This time the laughter that leaked out of her was honest and hearty. His lips curved into a smile, slight at first, but then exposed those gleaming white teeth. That warmth spread over his face, and he grabbed her hand in his strong grasp to help her from the floor.

Maui Author
06-02-2009, 05:26 AM
Loved the writing on both of these!!!

Okay, I'm going to do a crazy guess cause I actually have no idea:

#1 is Lara and #2 is Tasmin

JenWriter
06-02-2009, 05:33 AM
Hmm. I'm guessing #1 is Branwyn and #2 is...Tas?

firedrake
06-02-2009, 05:35 AM
Yes, I'd go with Branwyn for #1.

Tasha for #2?

houndrat
06-02-2009, 05:42 AM
I guess Para for two (don't ask me why), and hmmm, not sure for one....

ETA: now I'm going to have to go look up Tas again, since everyone thinks it's her....

Juneluv12
06-02-2009, 05:54 AM
Dang it, you guys beat me to it! I was going to say Branwyn for #1

Oh, well, I'll go with the gang on this one!!

houndrat
06-02-2009, 06:45 AM
BTW--why is that novel trunked, Blond? I would totally read it!

Blondchen
06-02-2009, 08:22 AM
Wow. You are all made of fail tonight. :D

And Houndie, it's trunked because after 133 queries, 14 fulls and 20 partials, I got a big fat ZERO offers of representation on it. Too bad. So sad. Maybe if I sell something else I can return to my beloved Dublin-Los Angeles film indutry novel in the future.

houndrat
06-02-2009, 08:35 AM
Wow. You are all made of fail tonight. :D

And Houndie, it's trunked because after 133 queries, 14 fulls and 20 partials, I got a big fat ZERO offers of representation on it. Too bad. So sad. Maybe if I sell something else I can return to my beloved Dublin-Los Angeles film indutry novel in the future.

Aw, man, that just blows. I bet you could totally go back and sell later, though. Did they say why? Just the premise not what they're looking for? Yep, it's me being nosy again--imagine that!

Teriann
06-02-2009, 08:42 AM
Blond, this idea was so much fun that I think you should change the title to "The first monthly great purgatory mash up."