Lousy TV and Movies We Can't Stand And Why Do We Keep Watching Them

I've watched Law & Order SUV a few times hoping the Elliott character will get shot.

One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl keep sucking me in like a black hole of despair and adolescent angst. Oh, pretty white kids with problems, how you haunt me!

I've also watched Twilight five or six times. I keep hoping Bella will die at the end. Alas, doomed to disappointment.

I've watched Smallville and just wished someone would clobber Clark Kent with a tube sock stuffed with Kryptonite.

I know I'm probably going to get blasted to the moon for this... but Deadliest Catch.

I mean... come on! It's the same thing. Over and over and over. Throw pots over side. Change a name here and there. Pick up pots. Count crabs. Stir in a little pathos over Captain Phil Harris' illness. Deckhands have a fight. Throw pots over side... etc., etc., etc.

But I watch. And I don't hate it! I love it. So that doesn't really fit your criteria, Ben... but it does, kinda, 'cause I hate that I love it and continue to watch it. Yeah. Meh.

All those design shows on HGTV. There's something oddly mesmerizing about a guy/girl/unknown waxing philosophical about the proper placement of an ottoman. Maybe it's because I fantasize about how much fun it would be to sneak onto the set and move it when the host isn't looking, bwuahahaha!

Yes, I'm evil Evil EVIL!!!

**blasts OFG--- in a nice way, of course

Actually, I find myself watching Deadliest Catch, but not really paying much attention to it because of that very reason...

You think you'll get blasted OFG,,, I hate 2 &1/2 Men, think it's the dumbest, most predictable show on TV and watch the fuck'en thing when ever its on thinking how much I really hate the show, it's like watching a train wreck, all Charlie Sheen ever does is kick his wussy brother out of the house, and yet I must watch.......aaaagggggg....

I'd like to think I finally broke my Smallville habit after that season finale, but I'll probably be sucked in again. Force of habit, I guess.

Ditto One Tree Hill, though that's probably more because of Sophia Bush ( ) than anything else.

By the way, you're talking to a guy who just watched part of First Spaceship to Venus (no, I'm not kidding . . . I got to the part where the crews plays a trick on the guy who's forgotten there's no gravity in space). I have no right to criticism anyone else.

Here, enjoy: http://tesla.liketelevision.com/liketelevision/tuner.php?channel=1007&format=movie&theme=guide

ChunkyC said:

All those design shows on HGTV. There's something oddly mesmerizing about a guy/girl/unknown waxing philosophical about the proper placement of an ottoman. Maybe it's because I fantasize about how much fun it would be to sneak onto the set and move it when the host isn't looking, bwuahahaha!

Yes, I'm evil Evil EVIL!!!

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CC! You, too?! I forgot about the design shows! Yes, yes, YES! They drive me insane, yet I must tune in for Design on a Dime, Designed to Sell, Sell This House, Divine Design, ad infinitum!

And the cleaning house shows, too!!!

Ol' Fashioned Girl said:

CC! You, too?! I forgot about the design shows! Yes, yes, YES! They drive me insane, yet I must tune in for Design on a Dime, Designed to Sell, Sell This House, Divine Design, ad infinitum!

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Then you must know the one where the female host's male designer-sidekick looks like some insane surgeon grafted Arnold Schwarzenegger's torso onto the lower half of Dany Devito's body. Mister cover-everything-with-a-white-sheet.

Can't stop watching it, just to see if some day he uses a beige tarp for a sofa slipcover.

Dear gawd, it has to be MXC and Ninja Warrior, and don't ask me why. I guess I just like to see violence when somebody else is getting hurt. A sick, guilty pleasure. Besides, I'm fat and old, and it's amazing to see what the human body is capable of doing. Oh, to be young and fugg myself up again...

Why oh why Ghost Adventurers? For all I know this stuff is totally scripted. That goes for the other one, too. I dunno, if I was the boss at Roto-Rooter and my employee was taking outside calls (solicitation) about another job unrelated to plumbing, I'd tell him to pack his shit and join the ghost buster squad forever.

And why does American Chopper have the jump the shark like they have been lately? Talk about scripted conflict. Gak.

But...I'll fight you tooth and nail over the remote when those puppies about to air. Maybe I need to re-script my life...

Tri

O.K.

Deadliest Catch. Love it, even though each show is identical.

Then Cops is next. Perputual real life Jerry Springerism.

Ugg, and Maury. How can you do one billion shows about teenage mothers who don't know who the father is. I saw one show where they test 9 guys and all of them were negative for being the father. They actually had THREE SHOWS. The first show, featured three guys who she was SURE it was one of them. Next show, another 4 guys, then last show 2 guys and then after that she admitted to partying in a couple of places and having some 3-somes with guys she didn't know the last names of or how to contact. I mean, wow. And all the while, there is this absolutely adorable 1 yr old looking into the screen with big puppy dog eyes...

I hate myself for watching that crap. Granted , I can only stand it for ten minutes until I am compelled to change the channel.

Mel...

I bit the bullet and gave up on TV. The signal to noise ratio is way too small. I refuse to pay for Tivo, commercial time vs. program time is outrageous and my cable rates just increased. I'm really tempted to drop cable. My wife watches her shows in the evening, usually on VCR tape (we're really old school) and I hit the computer to write or read some favorite sites.

Friends.

What a bunch of narcissistic, lazy jerks-wads. There almost nothing good to say about any of them. Yet, I'm supposed to feel for their triumphs and tragedies? Blech.

But I watch...

I only get the remote when NASCAR is on, so I can't come up with a reason to the above phenomenon. I can only speculate. Maybe it's kismet? The universe wants to send you a spiritual message via inanely contrived and corny fiction? You sprained your clicker finger? Someone left the clicker out of reach, and you are too sleepy to find it? The possibilities are endless.

He he. I get my TV through rabbit ears, so I'm very limited as to what I can be suckered into. Criminal Minds, maybe?

Sex and the City (I'm not even going to start or I WILL offend people).
Yet I sit there watching the thing going, "Yeah, okay, they're proving how smart and powerful women can be. Right. Uh huh. F*ck your way to intelligence. Yeah. Treat men like shit. That makes you so independent. I just want to punch the redhead over and over."

Oh crap. I've started...anyone offended yet?

And then there's Grey's Anatomy.

*turns to wife after season finalie

"What is wrong with this show??? All it does is make you cry! There's no story! And now I'm crying! I don't even know who the f*ck these people are!"

dgiharris said:

Ugg, and Maury. How can you do one billion shows about teenage mothers who don't know who the father is. I saw one show where they test 9 guys and all of them were negative for being the father. They actually had THREE SHOWS. The first show, featured three guys who she was SURE it was one of them. Next show, another 4 guys, then last show 2 guys and then after that she admitted to partying in a couple of places and having some 3-somes with guys she didn't know the last names of or how to contact. I mean, wow. And all the while, there is this absolutely adorable 1 yr old looking into the screen with big puppy dog eyes...

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I miss Maury back when it was all freakshows, phobias and tranny guessing games. Now that was good television.

robeiae said:

Friends.

What a bunch of narcissistic, lazy jerks-wads. There almost nothing good to say about any of them. Yet, I'm supposed to feel for their triumphs and tragedies? Blech.

But I watch...

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We agree on this one completely, except for the watching part. I watched maybe two episodes of this show some years back, just to see what all the hype was about. My digestion couldn't handle any more of it. An utterly banal and ordinary sitcom, middle of the sitcome bell-curve, lame, shallow contrived jokes and lazy script. I've never met anyone who could tell me why it became such a massive long-term hit. Unless Alyssa Milano and Jennifer Anniston were hotter for some deprived males than they were for me.

caw

aquacat said:

I've also watched Twilight five or six times. I keep hoping Bella will die at the end. Alas, doomed to disappointment.

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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I just snorted water because of that, thanks.

The Lonely One said:

"What is wrong with this show??? All it does is make you cry! There's no story! And now I'm crying! I don't even know who the f*ck these people are!"

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That show is a guilty pleasure and all it does is make you want to eat an entire cheesecake...

And to throw in one of my own, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Honestly. It's just a show that makes people living an okay life feel like hell.

"Oh my life sucks. I only make $8.00 and hour and can't afford to go to the movies or do anything fun."
"Oh really? Well I have seven kids and cancer, my husband died, one son lost his leg in the war, the rest have autism, and a meteor landed on my house...Yeah, your life totally sucks."

You think that the situations in that show just can't get worse, but alas they do. Kleenex is permanently stationed on my lap during that show, yet I still watch it! Why?!?

Jon & Kate plus 8 plus all the other TLC big family reality shows.

I'm the father of twin six-year-old girls and a four-year-old son. I'm surrounded by screaming kids all day. But for some reason, when I have some time to myself, I watch a lot of those shows where kids are screaming at their parents.

What's wrong with me?