View Full Version : Zeno Clash

05-22-2009, 01:09 PM
I have bitched a great deal about the lack of creativity in FPSes. All we see is power armor, space marines, fighting gritty space battles against gritty space aliens with vaguely religious overtones. Either that, or we have gritty powered armored space marines with big HUUUUUUUUGE space muscles fighting disgruntled insect people from the center of the earth...............wearing funny hats!


I have just gotten my shot-of-fresh air, and its crazy, weird, strange, off beat, and has hermaphrodite bird things, crossbows that fire exploding skulls, and elephants you beat to death with giant hammers: Welcome to Zeno Clash.


The biggest draw, for me, was the...weirdness. Cause man this game is weird.

For example, one of the first things that you do in this game is punt chickens. While a stern man with a cylindrical head speaks to you through a hallucination you are having.

Then you do target practice by shooting at chickens with a overpowered hunting rifle, after the stern man with a clindrical RIPS THE HEADS OFF THE CHICKENS AND THROWS THEM INTO THE SHOOTING GALLERY.

Now, after you awaken from this hallucination, the excitment kicks off with little to no introductions to this bizarre world. You're name is Ghent, you are quite handsome. There are multiple people attacking you - they are your siblings. You apparently just killed your Father and your Mother.

Course, it was easy, as they were the same person.

Father-Mother is a chicken like hermaphrodite who makes Octomom look positivly restrained...though its easy to have kids when you procreate through...self...procreation...

Is that even possible?

Oh right, this is a world where the common grenade is an exploding skull, and no one blinks twice when a random fistfight between a walking rodent with goggles and a redheaded man with a face wider than it is tall breaks out in the middle of a crouded city.

Anywho, the game beings right after the murder of Father-Mother, and you Ghent are forced to flee from the city and into the wilderness beyond. Fortunately, you are helped by a woman named Dardra:


He's got a barcode mustache. She has a cave-fro. They fight crime.

And so, as they flee through the woods, the desert and the increasingly strange landscapes beyond, Ghent talks about what lead him to killing his father/mother.

The voice acting is good, if a touch stilted (Due to the gam being translated from...whatever country was responsible for this gem). The story is engaging and the setting is creative and the visual design is delightfully bright, colorful and overwhelmingly enjoybale.

But what about the meat and the potatos of all FPSes: The gunplay.

OR should I say FIST PLAY!

Most of this game is centered around beating the snot out of various bad guys. YOu do this by locking onto them and doing various moves by dodging, parrying, kicking, grabbing people and throwing them around. Its quite viceral and entertaining.

The gunplay is workable, with various cooky guns...my only complaint is it is a bit too easy to forget to aim and end up wasting valubal time swinging your gun like a melee weapon when you meant to fill the enemy with exploding skulls!

The game is short, but it is also cheaper than most games...

Zoombie says: Buy it!

The game is out on STEAM and uses the HALF LIFE 2 ENGINE, so not only is it easy to get a hold of, it also runs great on a ton of systems!