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View Full Version : So Tired of (fill in the blank) Plot Resolutions



dgiharris
05-18-2009, 09:07 AM
So Tired of "Catch a confession on a wire" plot resolutions

So I'm watching CSI Miami and these two brilliant criminals pull off a great crime, have left no evidence for the police (though the police know it was them), have a perfect patsy/alibis that they have set up, and are about to get away with this crime until....

The police flip the patsy, put a wire on him, and send him back to the two guys to discuss the crime.

Of course, the brilliant guys spill the beans and 'confess' to the crime and of course the CSI people are there to take them away.

God, I'm so sick of this. You'd think that criminals would have watched enough TV to know that you don't confess your crimes in public to the underling who just happens to drop by and ask, "Hey boss, why did you do the killings"

"Well Gee underling, I killed so and so and this is how I did it and by the way, lets do another crime. Bawhawhawha..."

I'm so sick of this. So I ask the question, what other Plot Resolutoins (or devices) are you sick of?

Zoombie
05-18-2009, 09:16 AM
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

This is the domain of purely Star Trek and other badly written sci-fi shows, but anything wherein you throw differing combinations of technobabble at a problem till it is fixed.

In a sci-fi story, the technology should either be HARD (which is almost impossible on a TV show) or it needs to be SOFT.

In soft sci-fi, the technology should be...invisible. You should not have your attention called to it constantly, with bogus sentences strung together with a vague understanding of grammar, let alone what the hell you're talking about.

Which is why the new Star Trek worked SO well. Everything in it was solved with, well, character ACTIONS. Actions that move beyond "spout line of technoboble, press buttons, repeat till problem vanishes."

There was no, "The red matter works through varying the quantum molecular substrata of quarks, forcing an enmylick choco-space time warp curving, stressing the fabric of time, tearing what we would call a singularity in space!"

No, it was just, "Sir, its forming a black hole!"

And the resolution didn't come from rerouting the Dilithium matrix. It came from Kirk and Spock and the rest of the crew being awesome and doing awesome things.


So yeah...technobabble: It draws your attention to the weakest and stupidest part of any soft sci-fi story: The science.

Which is why its called...soft sci-fi rather than HARD sci-fi.

dgrintalis
05-18-2009, 09:18 AM
The "something scary and evil and infectious plant/animal/monster" is claiming the lives of people trapped somewhere and then at the very end, the last person gets away, only to reveal they are carrying the "scary, evil infection/killer vine/monster" and now it's going to be free and loose in the world. It's been done to death already. Come up with a new ending. Seriously.

Zoombie
05-18-2009, 09:21 AM
Oh!

The RESET BUTTON.

This is again, a TV show thing, but for gods sake! Don't set everything back to zero within five minuets of the ending credits!

You don't have to be Babylon 5, but at least have SOME evolution between episodes!

I know TV has gotten better at it, but the reset button still keeps rearing its heads...and it bugs me.

Cyia
05-18-2009, 09:31 AM
The "If all else fails, find a prophesy and say the hero's the chosen one". Even and especially on shows that had no prior supernatural elements to them.

bettielee
05-18-2009, 09:53 AM
On the cop shows they sometimes pulls out some impossible bit of techno that no police force on the frickin' planet could ever afford to use, or may not exist. They pull it out at the last minute and solve the crime and in reality, if they have that piece of machinery, it is never available until months later.

So that is my contribution to dgiharris's awesome thread idea. I must flutter off, now to spread my wisdom elsewhere.

TheIT
05-18-2009, 10:16 AM
The "something scary and evil and infectious plant/animal/monster" is claiming the lives of people trapped somewhere and then at the very end, the last person gets away, only to reveal they are carrying the "scary, evil infection/killer vine/monster" and now it's going to be free and loose in the world. It's been done to death already. Come up with a new ending. Seriously.

The flip-side to this one is where the sole survivor seems to be safe, then the OTHER monster leaps out and kills them.

dgrintalis
05-18-2009, 10:26 AM
Or how about the fingerprint searches that take only seconds and of course, they always result in a perfect match. Right.

TheIT
05-18-2009, 10:30 AM
The investigator actually committed the crime. I've seen this work, but it's been overused.

Dommo
05-18-2009, 10:32 AM
The good guy winning.

I want more stories where the good guys lose. That's one of the things I liked in Law and Order was that at least in the original series, I can recall episodes where the bad guy got away.

alleycat
05-18-2009, 02:02 PM
Well, if they don't catch the "perp" using the hidden wire, they can always make him confess by having one of the cops get tough in the interview room. Even hardened criminals, gang leaders, and terrorists immediately confess if confronted by a detective threatening to get angry if they don't talk.

At least they don't use séances much anymore to trick the killer into revealing himself.

SPMiller
05-18-2009, 02:12 PM
In general, I don't like TV shows where status quo is god.

I'm also finding it increasingly difficult to swallow FTL and time travel.

Cyia
05-18-2009, 03:28 PM
FTL?

alleycat
05-18-2009, 03:49 PM
We might be being too hard on TV cops. Just think about the burdens the typical TV cop has to deal with.

Their former partner was killed execution style (the killer has never been caught).

They have a younger sibling who is into drugs and/or petty criminal activity.

They have to maintain unwavering high moral standards; however, they are allowed to sleep with anyone within the department, any old sweetheart that shows up out of the blue, and attractive suspects in their current case. They are also allowed to lie to grand juries and in open court if the situation involved a fellow police officer.

If married, they have a spouse who wants them to quit and a rebellious teenage daughter.

If single, they can't make a commitment (but they really, really want to).

They once shot a teenager while he was committing a felony. It has left an emotional scar which can only be healed if their partner shows up late at night (while they are sitting in front of the TV and drinking heavily) and insists on talking about it.

They have a close family member who was brutally murdered (the killer has never been caught).

They are estranged from their father; either that or the father abandoned them when they were six.

If female, they were raped when they were in college (the rapist has never been caught).

They (or their partner) have a drinking problem if the show has been on more than three seasons.

If black, they have to give holier-than-thou speeches every so often explaining what it's like being black and growing up in a tough neighborhood (even if they lived in Scarsdale or Pasadena) Dito women and other minorities.

Male cops have to be more sensitive than the Dalai Lama and will cry at the slightest provocation. Female cops have to carry the burden of proving themselves in a male dominated world; they know this because someone once told them they had nice legs (the person who said it has never been caught).

They have a deep, dark secret which they can only revealed after their partner asks them about it twice.

They have to buy Brooks Brothers suits, Allen Edmonds shoes, go out every night to bars and expensive restaurants, live in a nice apartment, drive either an old clunker that cost a fortune to keep running or an expensive sports car . . . all on a cop's salary.

BenPanced
05-18-2009, 05:04 PM
My older sister's a med tech, so she loves the inaccuracies portrayed in the CSI shows.

I personally hate the "oh, YEAH!" solutions that most TV cops pull out of their butts. None of the evidence adds up to what they announce and I'm supposed to accept it. Well, I guess if it worked for Sherlock Holmes...

Calla Lily
05-18-2009, 05:08 PM
alleycat, :Hail: That was terrific.

alleycat
05-18-2009, 05:40 PM
On those CSI shows the killer is sometimes caught by the lab finding one grain of pollen stuck on the suspect's clothes . . . and the pollen can only be from a rare species of ragweed that can be found only within a half-mile radius of some place (their computer can zoom right in to this area) . . . so they go and search and find the body, thereby proving their case!

So, if you ever kill anyone, be sure to wash your clothes and clean your shoes afterwards.

SPMiller
05-18-2009, 06:03 PM
FTL?Faster Than Light.

Grrarrgh
05-18-2009, 06:17 PM
Male cops have to be more sensitive than the Dalai Lama and will cry at the slightest provocation. Female cops have to carry the burden of proving themselves in a male dominated world; they know this because someone once told them they had nice legs (the person who said it has never been caught).

:roll:

ChunkyC
05-18-2009, 06:44 PM
Female cops have to carry the burden of proving themselves in a male dominated world; they know this because someone once told them they had nice legs (the person who said it has never been caught.
ditto :roll:

Awesome post, AC.

Jcomp
05-18-2009, 07:12 PM
As far as resolutions, the patented Murder She Wrote / Matlock / Law & Order Criminal Intent ending where the killer somehow talked into into confessing, either by trickery (slightly more tolerable) or being coerced into a Tell-Tale-Heart-esque breakdown--"Yes, I did it! It was me! And I'd do it again! *collapses in tears/mad laughter/catatonic state*" (far more trite, except of course when Poe did it).

In the Murder She Wrote eps, the killer usually planned to off Jessica right after confessing, only to have the cop who was listening in the whole time appear from behind a curtain or something.

Jcomp
05-18-2009, 07:21 PM
The good guy winning.

I want more stories where the good guys lose. That's one of the things I liked in Law and Order was that at least in the original series, I can recall episodes where the bad guy got away.

On the opposite end of that, being a horror junkie, I'm sort of tired of the the plot "resolution" that basically boils down to "The good guy(s) never had a chance, our killer / villain is entirely unbeatable." More so as it pertains to slasher killers than supernatural ones.

And on the opposite of that, any spec-fic story where the hero's victory can basically be attributed to "The Power of Love" (unless it's because you played the Huey Lewis song and the villain killed himself to escape the sound, which is wholly plausible).

Cyia
05-18-2009, 07:26 PM
The man/woman who is wrongfully shot (usually at their wedding) when the villain is actually aiming for his/her lover. This supposedly gives the survivor purpose in life.

Calla Lily
05-18-2009, 07:28 PM
And on the opposite of that, any spec-fic story where the hero's victory can basically be attributed to "The Power of Love" (unless it's because you played the Huey Lewis song and the villain killed himself to escape the sound, which is wholly plausible).

:roll:

Kitty Pryde
05-18-2009, 07:52 PM
As far as resolutions, the patented Murder She Wrote / Matlock / Law & Order Criminal Intent ending where the killer somehow talked into into confessing, either by trickery (slightly more tolerable) or being coerced into a Tell-Tale-Heart-esque breakdown--"Yes, I did it! It was me! And I'd do it again! *collapses in tears/mad laughter/catatonic state*" (far more trite, except of course when Poe did it).


Yeah, the intentional confession is stupid. I was watching 'Castle' (a show which is very fond of the confession) the other day and I think they had a special name for the type of questioning that makes the killer confess. Where they say stupid stuff like, "She deserved it, didn't she? That's why you brought the knife to the Girl Scout meeting. You couldn't bear to let her steal your husband, amirite?" and the bad guy goes, "That b*tch didn't understand him like I did. She didn't deserve him!" Ummmm, no.

I love medical dramas but I'm starting to get a bit grossed out by conclusions that are basically Someone Died Horribly Leaving Many Traumatized Family Members, Which Was Neat Because I Learned A Life Lesson Which Helped Me Get Through My Trifling Personal Problem That Has Been Bugging Me For, Like, Three Hours Of Self-Centered Whining. This is seriously not endearing. Grey's Anatomy is the number one offender.

alleycat
05-18-2009, 09:57 PM
In a somewhat similar vein . . .

I liked watching those old Morse TV shows (they used to show them on PBS in the US, now you can rent them for 99-cents from Amazon). I enjoy the overall atmosphere of the show, but sometimes the plot is lame at best. In some episodes it doesn't matter whether Morse is on the case or not; the outcome would be exactly the same if he had never showed up.

A typical plot of this type might be:

Backstory: A person is planning to kill four people out of revenge and them kill himself.

1) A murder is committed.

2) Morse and his partner Lewis shows up, Morse yells at everyone in sight, then goes to the nearest pub to get a drink.

3) Morse goes home, has a drink, listens to opera music at 80 db.

4) Another murder is committed.

5) Morse shows up, talks to a few people, goes and gets a drink at the nearest pub, gets yelled at by Superintendent Battle, yells at Lewis, goes home, has a drink and listens to opera.

6) Two more murders are committed. That leaves only one possible suspects now (the others are all dead by this time); they might as well hang a sandwich board on the suspect that reads: "I DID IT, MORSE!"

7) Morse shows up, talks to a few people, goes and gets a drink at the nearest pub, yells at Lewis some more but then gets an idea from something Lewis says. They rush from the pub before Lewis has time to finish his beer.

8) Morse arrives at the suspect's address just as the suspect is climbing to the highest tower at Oxford University. The man is going to jumb from the tower. Morse tries to save him but since Morse is afraid of heights, he can't. The man jumps.

9) Morse is congratulated by Battle for solving the case. Morse goes and gets a drink at the nearest pub. Morse goes home, listens to some opera, has a drink.

Of course, sometimes there are interesting plot twists, such as Morse chasing any halfway attractive woman he happens to meet during the investigation, even if she's one of the suspects.

dgiharris
05-18-2009, 10:08 PM
So I'm watching another CSI Miami episode (i think they all suck BTW).

Anyways, there is a killer/rapist on the loose. The police are tracking a girl and it is a high profile case on the T.V.

So, the police goes to Suspect #1 who is very cooperative. They ask questions, etc. etc. then proceed with investigating... they then come back to Suspect #1 and let him know that he is an official suspect...

Now, Suspect #1 is guilty as hell. But does he think, "Gee, the police are investigating me, perhaps I should just take a little break until this blows over?"

Of course not. He continues raping and killing.

And then he is caught in the last 5 minutes.

If I'm a criminal and the police get that close, you stop for a while. Duh. But not in the world of T.V. crime.

Oh, and my other CSI pet peeve. Criminal consenting to searches that will turn up evidence. Ummmm... No. Get a lawyer and STFU

The world of CSI. "Hey, we found blood on the murder weapon, can we have some of your DNA Mr. Suspect?"
"Why sure officer here you go"

Real world. "Hey we found blood--"
"F**k you I want my lawyer"
"No no wait, if you're innocent then you wouldn't mind giving us some DNA"
"Ha Ha. F**k you I want my lawyer"
"Look it will go easier on you if--"
"F**K YOU I WANT MY LAWYER, i'm done talking to you"

Mel....

ChunkyC
05-18-2009, 11:44 PM
Hehe, no kidding.

Another CSI thing that drives me nuts, especially with CSI Miami, is the lab rats running around like detectives. I saw the ending of one episode where a looney was driving a transport truck hauling a trailer full of gasoline or some such towards a nuclear power plant. So, the coppers set up a road block -- within sight of the entrance to the power plant, of course -- and prepared to stop the evildoer, ostensibly by waving at him as he got close.

Naturally, Horatio knows this is going down, so he grabs his high powered sniper rifle (standard issue for every lab tech, right?), heads out to the roadblock and gets into position, then shoots the bad guy between the eyes before he reaches the roadblock, causing the big rig to roll and explode, sending the coppers on the highway running for their lives and setting the everglades on fire.

Uh -- yeah, right. Whenever the police need a sniper to take out a moving target going 60 miles an hour on a public highway, they call for the nearest BIOLOGIST.

:crazy:

dclary
05-19-2009, 01:19 AM
On the opposite end of that, being a horror junkie, I'm sort of tired of the the plot "resolution" that basically boils down to "The good guy(s) never had a chance, our killer / villain is entirely unbeatable." More so as it pertains to slasher killers than supernatural ones.

And on the opposite of that, any spec-fic story where the hero's victory can basically be attributed to "The Power of Love" (unless it's because you played the Huey Lewis song and the villain killed himself to escape the sound, which is wholly plausible).

You best back off the Huey lest I have to get Hip and Square in heyah.

Danjreid
05-19-2009, 02:19 AM
In a somewhat similar vein . . .

I liked watching those old Morse TV shows (they used to show them on PBS in the US, now you can rent them for 99-cents from Amazon). I enjoy the overall atmosphere of the show, but sometimes the plot is lame at best. In some episodes it doesn't matter whether Morse is on the case or not; the outcome would be exactly the same if he had never showed up.

A typical plot of this type might be:

Backstory: A person is planning to kill four people out of revenge and them kill himself.

1) A murder is committed.

2) Morse and his partner Lewis shows up, Morse yells at everyone in sight, then goes to the nearest pub to get a drink.

3) Morse goes home, has a drink, listens to opera music at 80 db.

4) Another murder is committed.

5) Morse shows up, talks to a few people, goes and gets a drink at the nearest pub, gets yelled at by Superintendent Battle, yells at Lewis, goes home, has a drink and listens to opera.

6) Two more murders are committed. That leaves only one possible suspects now (the others are all dead by this time); they might as well hang a sandwich board on the suspect that reads: "I DID IT, MORSE!"

7) Morse shows up, talks to a few people, goes and gets a drink at the nearest pub, yells at Lewis some more but then gets an idea from something Lewis says. They rush from the pub before Lewis has time to finish his beer.

8) Morse arrives at the suspect's address just as the suspect is climbing to the highest tower at Oxford University. The man is going to jumb from the tower. Morse tries to save him but since Morse is afraid of heights, he can't. The man jumps.

9) Morse is congratulated by Battle for solving the case. Morse goes and gets a drink at the nearest pub. Morse goes home, listens to some opera, has a drink.

Of course, sometimes there are interesting plot twists, such as Morse chasing any halfway attractive woman he happens to meet during the investigation, even if she's one of the suspects.

What are you criticising? That's an accurate description of the British police force. ;)

Why waste time trying to solve a crime when you can be at the pub getting bladdered and let the criminal kill themselves? Less paperwork that way.

dgiharris
05-19-2009, 09:41 AM
Uh -- yeah, right. Whenever the police need a sniper to take out a moving target going 60 miles an hour on a public highway, they call for the nearest BIOLOGIST.

Yes, in fact, that is why I can't watch the shows anymore. Too much bullshit.

Another of my personal favorites.

The detective is tracking some super duper sick nasty serial killer. They think they have their man.

So, the detective goes to visit the potential serial killer to shake the bushes and give the SK some shit, you know the whole, "We know its you and we're collecting the evidence only a matter of time so you should just confess now...".

Of course, the detective goes to visit the SK alone (especially CSI Miami).

Ummm... Excuse me. the day I go give shit to a SK is the day I jump into a pit full of rattlesnakes. Seriously, what is scarier than a SK? Oh wait. A CSI lab rat LOL.

Mel...

Cyia
05-19-2009, 10:16 AM
The heroes must find one sheet of paper in an arcane (sometimes alien) library where most likely one guy is the only one who can actually read the language and nothing's on computer. There are dusty rolls and scrolls and gianormous leather bound volumes everywhere. It'll take days...

Then someone trips over their own stupidity and lands face first on the one page they needed.

AND

There's a foot chase going on. The suspect is barely two steps ahead of the hero - he could literally put his hand out and grab him... but he doesn't. And the suspect gets away.

archerjoe
05-19-2009, 06:05 PM
On one hand, TV writers have a weekly schedule and they're up against decades of plot twists and formulaic story lines. On the other hand, with the formulaic story lines, moronic plot twists and incessant commercials, I have given up on TV.

It's even worse on soaps. My wife is hooked on General Hospital. She's disturbed by a story line change where a 4 year kid has been in a coma for 6 months and wakes up a teenager. Her friend has a kid born about the same time as a character on another soap. Her friend's kid is in kindergarten, the soap kid has graduated high school.

ChunkyC
05-19-2009, 07:10 PM
Yes, in fact, that is why I can't watch the shows anymore. Too much bullshit.

Another of my personal favorites.

The detective is tracking some super duper sick nasty serial killer. They think they have their man.

So, the detective goes to visit the potential serial killer to shake the bushes and give the SK some shit, you know the whole, "We know its you and we're collecting the evidence only a matter of time so you should just confess now...".

Of course, the detective goes to visit the SK alone (especially CSI Miami).

Ummm... Excuse me. the day I go give shit to a SK is the day I jump into a pit full of rattlesnakes. Seriously, what is scarier than a SK? Oh wait. A CSI lab rat LOL.

Mel...
It's such a shame, because when the original CSI hit the air, it was all about how the lab rats contributed to the catching of the bad guy by actually doing their jobs as scientists and it became a huge hit with that type of content. Of course, it had to devolve into the nonsense we see now.

This sort of thing always reminds me of the opening scene from The Majestic, where Jim Carrey is in a brainstorming session with a bunch of studio imbeciles who rework his script until it is a pile of unrecognizable crap.

RickN
05-19-2009, 07:28 PM
Ridiculous use of computer technology --

1) "We know the gang is hitting banks with a certain type of criteria -- when the guard takes his lunch break, how many cameras face the parking lot, distance to the nearest interstate or major highway. So we need you to run a computer algorithm (in ten or so keystrokes) to compare al the banks in Los Angeles and find their next target."
"You have a database that happens to have that information in it?"
"I don't want to hear excuses! Now run the damn algorithm."

2)"We need you to hack into the Justice Department computers and compare data from the Witness Protection program with any driver's licenses issued in New York over the past five years of blonde men with mustaches between 5'11" and 6'2" with a facial scar on their left cheek."
-click-click-click-
"Ok, got the list. Sending it to your cell phone."


I have a couple personal favorites:
One of the CSI's, I believe, possible Bones. A pre-teen beauty queen goes missing for months and her body is found IN A SEWER. Every bit of physical evidence from the body THAT WAS FOUND IN A SEWER ties directly back to the months-old crime. Apparently, it picked up no random trace evidence over the months because it was found in the sterile environment OF A SEWER.

CSI Miami -- the tidal wave that came and went, at least in Miami history. 3rd season-ish, IIRC, the tidal wave hits Miami and bank robbers use the water surge to do what they do best. Next week, Miami is all back to normal and the tidal wave is never mentioned again. Hello!!!!! Your city was just flooded and buildings destroyed!!!! You'd think the characters would be more like:
"Want to go to Julio's for a sandwich?"
"Dude, Julio's got wiped out by that tidal wave."
"Oh, yeah, I forgot."

dgiharris
05-20-2009, 07:46 AM
You know, one that fits into your computer keystroke magic is the picture resolutions.

Some $5 camera or better yet a cell phone takes a shitty darkened picture from 1000 ft away and the crime just happens to be in the background.

They have the picture and all you see is a grainy blob.

"Hey can you enhance it?"

Let me see, let me just write this algorithm, transfer to digital, ignore several laws of physics.... Viola, here you go, there is a crystal clear picture of our bank robber.

Have you ever seen pictures or video cameras of crooks. I can barely tell the people are human let alone who the hell it is.

Gawd I can't stand that BS.

Mel...

Jcomp
05-20-2009, 09:03 AM
You know, one that fits into your computer keystroke magic is the picture resolutions.

Some $5 camera or better yet a cell phone takes a shitty darkened picture from 1000 ft away and the crime just happens to be in the background.

They have the picture and all you see is a grainy blob.

"Hey can you enhance it?"

Let me see, let me just write this algorithm, transfer to digital, ignore several laws of physics.... Viola, here you go, there is a crystal clear picture of our bank robber.

Have you ever seen pictures or video cameras of crooks. I can barely tell the people are human let alone who the hell it is.

Gawd I can't stand that BS.

Mel...

Similar to that, in the erroneous techie crap department--and I was joking with my buddy about this the other day--I always hate it when a movie has a big "hacker at work" scene that shows the tech guy surrounded by seven computers, even more monitors (some of which hanging from the ceiling or some crap) and banging away on multiple keyboards at once. I want to film a skit where the lead villain comes in on this scene and says, "Whoa whoa whoa, who authorized all this crap? It looks like a gotdamn gamer café in here. If we've got money for all of this why are we even committing crimes?"

Susan Gable
05-20-2009, 04:25 PM
I understand this kind of TV techie "crap" is causing problems in the justice system because juries think the evidence SHOULD all line up just like it does on TV.

Be interesting to do a study on that. :)

Susan G.

ChunkyC
05-20-2009, 06:42 PM
Similar to that, in the erroneous techie crap department--and I was joking with my buddy about this the other day--I always hate it when a movie has a big "hacker at work" scene that shows the tech guy surrounded by seven computers, even more monitors (some of which hanging from the ceiling or some crap) and banging away on multiple keyboards at once. I want to film a skit where the lead villain comes in on this scene and says, "Whoa whoa whoa, who authorized all this crap? It looks like a gotdamn gamer café in here. If we've got money for all of this why are we even committing crimes?"
:ROFL:

Oh yeah! Crooks use six million dollars worth of labour and gear to steal one million bucks worth of jewellery from the safety deposit box in a bank, that can be fenced for maybe a hundred grand. Well, cops keep trying to tell us most criminals are stupid, perhaps they have a point. :)

dgiharris
06-11-2009, 11:01 PM
Sorry, just finished watching a CSI episode and had to vent.

Why do I continue to watch this crap. I'm so sick of the stupid criminals and suspects.

CSI officer: "Excuse me Mr. Suspect, we are investigating a murder, would you mind giving me access to your house, car, bank account, finger prints, and DNA all of which will prove your guilt"

Real World Criminal: Suck my nut sack and talk to my lawyer.

CSI Criminal: Sure officer, no problem, is there anything else you need from me to prove my guilt? I'm only too happy to comply. And oh, if you fail to get any evidence just put me alone in a room with you and your partner and threaten to get angry if I don't confess every single detail of the crime. Or you can trick me by bringing in my significant other to play against me. Do you need anything else? O.k. then.

Mel...

Zoombie
06-11-2009, 11:04 PM
You know what always bugged me about Die Hard?

They're covering up robbery with an act of terrorism, something that I think has a far more serious and long lasting backlash...

Does anyone else see the flaw in this plan!?

aadams73
06-12-2009, 12:28 AM
I'm tired of the whole amnesia thing. Bits and pieces come back to the character during the duration of the movie, and then--gasp--they remember who the bad guy is right in time for the climax.

This goes for books too, actually. I've read way too many amnesia plots lately.

Pomegranate
06-12-2009, 03:19 AM
This year I think at least 3 of the shows I watch ended the season with a major character in a coma. *eyeroll*

TheIT
06-12-2009, 03:30 AM
Another for the "learn how to use real computers" camp: I've been watching NCIS and really enjoying the show, but every time I see them working the computers, I have to laugh. They keep doing stuff on the keyboard which ought to be done with a mouse, and when they need to get something done really quickly, they have both Abby and McGee typing madly ON THE SAME KEYBOARD. Way to lock up the system, guys! What, does the computer have a "keystroke discernment" option which can tell who typed what? Also lucky that each person doesn't need letters on the other side of the keyboard.

Cyia
06-12-2009, 03:43 AM
You know what always bugged me about Die Hard?

They're covering up robbery with an act of terrorism, something that I think has a far more serious and long lasting backlash...

Does anyone else see the flaw in this plan!?

Um... the fact that Hans Gruber was some sort of pseudo-Germanish guy played by a Brit and 2 movies later his brother was another Brit without a pseudo-Germanish accent? And both of said Brits were better actors than the material provided? That's a HUGE flaw.

BigWords
06-12-2009, 04:21 AM
Happy endings.

BenPanced
06-12-2009, 04:51 AM
Years after ultra-sophisticated computer animation has been developed or even faking your own website on a real computer on the set? A blue screen with white letters that say WELCOME TO THE INTERNET...

When they do manage to use a "real" search engine, the result they need is #1 on Google. Not buried 57 pages in out of 4,789,355 results returned.

Or they enter a person's name (usually the victim) in a search and it takes them directly to a random photograph of said person that's just floating about with its own URL and not attached to something like a Classmates.com profile.

All computer maps are vector graphics similar to what were used by Atari for Battlezone (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battlezone_(arcade_game)). But even then, they're so heavily rendered you scream at the TV "WHY AREN'T THEY JUST USING CGI FOR THE STREET MAPS?!"

All crime labs have a clear acrylic writing board in the corner so they can scribble BIG NOTES and LOTS OF ARROWS and accumulate so much "data" related to the case, the sergeant heading the case comes in, looks at the board, and erases 98% of it to the screams of his staff. Then he's able to write the correct solution on the board before he walks away, his eyebrow arched as if to say, "Suck it, you morons".

BigWords
06-12-2009, 05:04 AM
All computer maps are vector graphics similar to what were used by Atari for Battlezone (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battlezone_%28arcade_game%29). But even then, they're so heavily rendered you scream at the TV "WHY AREN'T THEY JUST USING CGI FOR THE STREET MAPS?!"

Or they could just use Google streetview.

But that isn't the worst example of TV, and Hollywood in general, BS-ing the viewers: every satellite image is crystal clear, and zooms in close enough to read the newspaper the suspect is holding. Uh... Last I checked, the closest a camera in space could zoom in to was about a metre per pixel. Anything closer than that would have to be photographed with a drone plane.

STKlingaman
06-12-2009, 05:09 AM
The 'Hand or Act of God.'

how about an act of Gilligan or the Professor?

Sarpedon
06-12-2009, 06:12 AM
Sonic Screwdriver.

Pilote
06-13-2009, 07:22 AM
So tired of technology being used relentlessly to excuse just plain, lazy writing. To wit 24. That show could never be made if it didn't have a gazillion techno. gadgets to chose from. It's incredibly boring and mind numbing after a while.
Sure computers are fast but are they lightening fast. Criminal Minds is another example of how the great God of technology is there to solve all your problems, including mayhem and murder.
On another note please no more sports movies where the hero conquers adversity....blah,blah,blah
Enough already.

dgiharris
06-21-2009, 01:59 PM
I'm so sorry, I swear, I will never post this compliant in this thread again.

WHY DO I KEEP WATCHING CSI.

I want to reach through the TV, slap these people, and scream, "GET A F***ING LAWYER AND STFU!!!"

CSI Inspector: Hi can we come inside to talk to you?

Suspect: F**K off, I want my lawyer

CSI Inspector: Mind if we get a hair or some of your DNA?

Suspect: F**K off, I want my lawyer

CSI Inspector: We have a few questions we'd like to ask you.

Suspect: F**K off, I want my lawyer.

They should change the name of the show to Criminals Who Like To Confess

Mel...

Zoombie
06-21-2009, 02:28 PM
This is only kinda related to TV Shows, but I'm playing Star Trek Elite Force 2, a video game set in the Star Trek universe.

You play as one of those red shirts who beam onto dangerous situations and get your ass bitten by alien monsters. The only difference is Captain Picard realizes that, hey, wait, I should...ARM my officers before sending them on dangerous missions.

So you actually have a fighting chance!

but, in the game, if I have to modulate ONE more dilithium matrix, I'm going to scream.

"Quick, the room is filling with poison gas! Modulate that security console!"

"Quick, the alien monster is coming through the transport! Modulate that door control!"

"Quick, make me a beagle, MODULATE THE TOASTER OVEN!"

This is true in the show as well! Modulating the dilithium matrix is always your solution to everything! Think of something new, damn it!

BigWords
06-21-2009, 03:06 PM
I was going to bitch endlessly about transporters, but knowing that everyone else is tired of Trek's most-abused plot turnings kinda makes a rant redundant.

The best episode of TNG was the one where ships were blowing up for no real reason. It turned out that Starfleet knew about the problem all along - The ending should have been the end of the Enterprise as well. A big explosion to send the series off in style...

I suggest that The World Of Star Trek by David Gerrold is an essential read if you really love / really hate Trek. The man makes some very precise points about the overused elements of the series.