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View Full Version : My Ex Wants His Machete Back



Jaycinth
04-24-2009, 06:43 AM
**snicker**

C.bronco
04-24-2009, 06:46 AM
That's always a difficult call. Why does he want it back? Do you suspect ulterior motives?

vixey
04-24-2009, 06:47 AM
I say chop wood with it then give it to him dulled. :D

KTC
04-24-2009, 06:48 AM
give it back

Haggis
04-24-2009, 06:53 AM
Give it back? Heads will roll.

Rolling Thunder
04-24-2009, 06:54 AM
I think Jay wants to give him his machete in his back.

Jaycinth
04-24-2009, 06:59 AM
I have such sweet

...dreams...

with it hidden under my bed.


I .... love... this machete.

vixey
04-24-2009, 07:17 AM
I have such sweet

...dreams...

with it hidden under my bed.


I .... love... this machete.

Is his last name Bobbit?

A. Hamilton
04-24-2009, 07:19 AM
be sure to wipe your fingerprints off first..

robeiae
04-24-2009, 03:12 PM
I .... love... this machete.
*contemplates a reply...decides discretion is the better part of valour*

thethinker42
04-24-2009, 03:16 PM
I think I'd say something to the effect of "You want it back?.....CATCH!"

regdog
04-24-2009, 03:50 PM
I think Jay wants to give him his machete in his back.

Exactly what I was thinking.

Jay as long as your aim is good there shouldn't be a problem

Adam
04-24-2009, 08:15 PM
I think I'd say something to the effect of "You want it back?.....CATCH!"

This. :D

Greenify13
04-24-2009, 08:18 PM
I think I'd say something to the effect of "You want it back?.....CATCH!"
Exactly! :D

2old2pb
04-24-2009, 08:48 PM
Maybe it's time to burry the hatchet?

Kaiser-Kun
04-24-2009, 09:15 PM
I told you you should include it in the breakup contract.

Williebee
04-24-2009, 09:31 PM
Got anybody you want dead? Do that, THEN give it back.

Don't forget, wipe the prints off first, but not the blood traces.

:)

Greenify13
04-24-2009, 09:34 PM
Got anybody you want dead? Do that, THEN give it back.

Don't forget, wipe the prints off first, but not the blood traces.

:)
Warning: It won't work if he's the one...;)

aadams73
04-24-2009, 11:17 PM
I'm sure it will look lovely buried in his forehead. Right...between...the eyes!

Unique
04-24-2009, 11:47 PM
Give it to him Jaycinth. Your technique is impeccable.

Kaiser-Kun
04-24-2009, 11:51 PM
I wrote down what you should tell him:

"You want this machete? Come and get it. Is this madness, you say? Madness? Well... THIS IS AW!!"

Matera the Mad
04-25-2009, 12:10 AM
Ah, keep it. What if someone gives you a Hubbard squash? You'll need it. I mean, a machete is much more useful than an ex. you hit the big squash with the ex, prolly break his head instead of the squash. If you have neither, you sit there staring at the squash and starve.

DL Hegel
04-25-2009, 12:58 AM
**snicker**


i know of some very lovely secluded spots with loose top soil.

Jaycinth
04-25-2009, 05:52 AM
Maybe it's time to burry the hatchet?


It is a machete.
I told you you should include it in the breakup contract.

No. At this point it is abandoned property and posession of a machete is the law.


I think.

Where is Soccer Mom when I need her expert advice?

*contemplates a reply...decides discretion is the better part of valour*


Robeiae, quivers
like a bunny
waiting for timothy grass

Give it to him Jaycinth. Your technique is impeccable.

Why thank you. You....you.... touch.... my heart.

Please put it back and sew up the hole. Yes, magenta thread is fine.
I'm sure it will look lovely buried in his forehead. Right...between...the eyes!


i need a wine cup more....
i know of some very lovely secluded spots with loose top soil.

I have a machete.

Topsoil should not pose a problem...

bettielee
04-25-2009, 05:56 AM
Give him back the machete... whilst cradling the butter-soft haft of a samurai sword, the blunt edge laying against your shoulder... sexxy!

NeuroFizz
04-25-2009, 05:59 AM
Give him a steak knife and tell him it never was a machete. You just were always helping his ego.

Jaycinth
04-25-2009, 06:00 AM
Give him a steak knife and tell him it never was a machete. You just were always helping his ego.


You are always the wise one.

Have a Twinkie.

Jaycinth
04-25-2009, 06:05 AM
Give him back the machete... whilst cradling the butter-soft haft of a samurai sword, the blunt edge laying against your shoulder... sexxy!

It wasn't a Samurai sword...it was a beautiful Civil War sword.,...and he took it.

AmyDoodle
04-25-2009, 06:32 AM
Think Nike. Just Do It.

You know you want to.

bettielee
04-25-2009, 06:37 AM
It wasn't a Samurai sword...it was a beautiful Civil War sword.,...and he took it.

Then you know what has to happen.

He must die.

Greenify13
04-27-2009, 06:27 AM
So I, along with a few others are probably/am wondering if you have given said machete back...have you or is there any chance you took this advice:





I think I'd say something to the effect of "You want it back?.....CATCH!"

:D

DL Hegel
04-27-2009, 09:32 AM
I have a machete.

Topsoil should not pose a problem...

So are we talking Fargo or fried green tomatoes

On the disposal end?

Mythical Tiger
04-27-2009, 10:02 AM
I would take the machete and shove it up his ass. After, I would ask him if he would like my foot up there too.:D




~Sam