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View Full Version : If I had a __________ right now, I'd ___________.



Perks
04-22-2009, 12:53 AM
If I had a bag of Cheetos right now, I'd devour it.

And you?

scarletpeaches
04-22-2009, 12:56 AM
If I had a chance at Neil Robertson right now, I'd take it.

Perks
04-22-2009, 12:58 AM
If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the mornin'.

scarletpeaches
04-22-2009, 12:59 AM
But would you hammer in the evening?

quickWit
04-22-2009, 12:59 AM
Perks stole my answer.

If I had a new answer, I'd post it.

Perks
04-22-2009, 01:01 AM
Sorry!

And no, ScarletPeaches, I would not. I'm a considerate neighbor, unlike some people you know.

Wayne K
04-22-2009, 01:02 AM
If I had a yardstick I could answer that question all the girls keep asking.

Perks
04-22-2009, 01:08 AM
If I had a rat's ass right now, I'd give it.

(Not about your quest for truth in advertising, Wayne. Just in general.)

quickWit
04-22-2009, 01:11 AM
If I had half a mind right now, I'd be Rob.

:)

Wayne K
04-22-2009, 01:14 AM
If I had a rat's ass right now, I'd give it.

(Not about your quest for truth in advertising, Wayne. Just in general.)

Such a dirty mind.:D

James81
04-22-2009, 01:17 AM
If I had a blue eyes right now, I'd blue eyes.

semilargeintestine
04-22-2009, 01:29 AM
If I had a blue eyes right now, I'd blue eyes.

:ROFL:

If I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love.

Perks
04-22-2009, 01:30 AM
If I had James' blue eyes right now, I'd put one in a jar and carve the other one up to fill eyeball tacos.

Perks
04-22-2009, 01:30 AM
If I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love.yay! You may stay.

And I'll buy you a K-car, a nice Reliant automobile.

scarletpeaches
04-22-2009, 01:31 AM
:ROFL:

If I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love.

Have mine, it's free and dirtier.

maestrowork
04-22-2009, 01:35 AM
If I had a kiss from you right now, I'd give you my heart.

Adam
04-22-2009, 01:41 AM
Have mine, it's free and dirtier.

Clean version:
If I had Scarletpeaches' love right now, I'd be unable to sell it.

Version including her white out:
If I had Scarletpeaches' love right now, I'd be unwilling to sell it.

:D

EDIT!
Bah, it didn't work! Stupid missing "a".

Try again:

If I had a computer that didn't freeze right now, I'd be an extra 2k words up.

scarletpeaches
04-22-2009, 01:43 AM
If I had a creme egg right now, I'd smash it in your face. :D

Adam
04-22-2009, 01:44 AM
If I had a creme egg right now, I'd smash it in your face. :D

If I had a face full of creme egg right now, I'd be happy bunny. :tongue

maestrowork
04-22-2009, 01:45 AM
If I had a kidney stone right now, I'd pass out.

Adam
04-22-2009, 01:47 AM
If I had a heart attack right now, I'd likely die.

jennifer75
04-22-2009, 01:49 AM
If I had that guys number, I'd call him and demand he get over here RIGHT NOW.

Adam
04-22-2009, 01:49 AM
Slightly more upbeat one:

If I had a balloon right now, I'd pop it.

Which may bring on the aforementioned heart attack if I'm not careful. :D

semilargeintestine
04-22-2009, 01:49 AM
Clean version:
If I had Scarletpeaches' love right now, I'd be unable to sell it.

Version including her white out:
If I had Scarletpeaches' love right now, I'd be unwilling to sell it.

:D

EDIT!
Bah, it didn't work! Stupid missing "a".

Try again:

If I had a computer that didn't freeze right now, I'd be an extra 2k words up.

If I had a piece of paper right now, I'd write you a note telling you to back off--she offered it to me.

Perks
04-22-2009, 01:49 AM
If I had the guilt of killing off all these AWers, I'd throw myself out a ground floor window.

Susie
04-22-2009, 01:51 AM
If I had a chocolate bar, I'd be more on a sugar high than I already am.

Adam
04-22-2009, 01:52 AM
If I had a piece of paper right now, I'd write you a note telling you to back off--she offered it to me.

If I had a piece of paper from Semi right now, I'd eat it. :tongue

scarletpeaches
04-22-2009, 01:53 AM
If I had a choice between Adzmodeus and semisquishy, I'd go for Neil Robertson.

Adam
04-22-2009, 01:55 AM
If I had a choice between Adzmodeus and semisquishy, I'd go for Neil Robertson.

If I had a heart right now, I'd cry. :(

scarletpeaches
04-22-2009, 01:56 AM
Snooker World Ch'ships just now. For two weeks a year, I go a bit mad. :)

Adam
04-22-2009, 01:56 AM
If I had a chocolate bar, I'd be more on a sugar high than I already am.

If I had a spare chocolate bar right now, I'd mail it to Suse. ;)

ad_lucem
04-22-2009, 02:02 AM
If I had half a brain right now, I'd shut off the computer and do something useful for a change.

Adam
04-22-2009, 02:08 AM
If I had a spud gun right now, I'd need a potato.

Perks
04-22-2009, 02:26 AM
If I had awesome godlike powers right now, I'd turn back the clock and start the day over. Oh, and invent a machine that would tickle my back every night until I fell asleep.

dgrintalis
04-22-2009, 02:28 AM
If I had a million bucks right now, I'd be on a plane flying to a Tahitian vacation!

rhymegirl
04-22-2009, 02:30 AM
If I had a winning Powerball ticket, I'd start my own publishing company.

Adam
04-22-2009, 02:36 AM
If I had a bacon buttie right now, I'd totally eat it.

P.H.Delarran
04-22-2009, 02:50 AM
if I had more confidence in the mechanical condition of my van, I'd drive my kids to the coast.

rhymegirl
04-22-2009, 02:50 AM
What's a bacon buttie? Sounds like a pig's ass.

Adam
04-22-2009, 02:53 AM
Buttie (or butty) is English slang for sandwich. :)

Ken Schneider
04-22-2009, 02:56 AM
If my supper was ready yet— I'd eat it.

Hope my wife doesn't see this.

rhymegirl
04-22-2009, 02:56 AM
Buttie (or butty) is English slang for sandwich. :)

Oh. I see.

Well, then I'll have one too, please.

Adam
04-22-2009, 02:57 AM
If I had a speedboat right now, I'd sell it 'cos I hate the sea.

Sweetleaf
04-22-2009, 02:57 AM
If I had a cupcake right now, I'd eat it. Oops! Too Late! :D

Perks
04-22-2009, 02:58 AM
If I had a mustard seed's more faith right now, I'd raise my eyebrow less. I'm getting a muscle cramp over my eye.

Susie
04-22-2009, 03:02 AM
If I had a spare chocolate bar right now, I'd mail it to Suse. ;)


Aww, thx much, Adz and right back atcha! ((((((HUGS))))))).

Manix
04-22-2009, 03:17 AM
If I had a dollar for every stick Wayne's measured with that yard, I'd be broke.

Adam
04-22-2009, 03:27 AM
If I had a rapier and a flamboyant hat right now, I'd totally duel Manix.

En garde, kitteh!

stormie
04-22-2009, 03:29 AM
If I had another shot of peppermint schnapps on ice right now, I'd be very, very, very, very, very, very...calm.

Or drunk.

SusanH
04-22-2009, 03:35 AM
If I had....a green color gun.....I'd fix my TV....

Rachel
04-22-2009, 04:11 AM
If I had a rapier and a flamboyant hat right now, I'd totally duel Manix.

En garde, kitteh!

Watch out for the eyes.


If I had a popsicle right now, I'd kill the dog with it....

Perks
04-22-2009, 04:13 AM
If I had a watering can right now, I'd take a shower.

Adam
04-22-2009, 04:13 AM
Watch out for the eyes.


If I had to duel him right now, I'd take off my glasses first so he couldn't charm me.

Although, then he'd win...

Bah.

Manix
04-22-2009, 04:20 AM
If I had to duel him right now, I'd take off my glasses first so he couldn't charm me.

Although, then he'd win...

Bah.
PWNed :D

Rachel
04-22-2009, 04:30 AM
DO YOU SEE THE EYES.

If I had a strong enough will right now, I'd stop staring into the eyes.

Perks
04-22-2009, 04:36 AM
If I had a hat right now, I'd pump my adolescent way into it.

(I think this thread is encouraging me to go crazy. I may very well regret starting it.)

Adam
04-22-2009, 04:38 AM
PWNed :D


:ROFL::roll:

semilargeintestine
04-22-2009, 04:47 AM
If I had a choice between Adzmodeus and semisquishy, I'd go for Neil Robertson.

If I had a life, I'd be out instead of on here all night.

Oh wait, I do.

Suckaz.

poetinahat
04-22-2009, 04:48 AM
If I had a hat right now, I'd pump my adolescent way into it.


Hats are good for adolescent ways.

If I had a convertible right now, I'd drive it top-down in whatever damn weather came along.

jennontheisland
04-22-2009, 04:55 AM
If I had a 5 page long take home final exam essay to write right now, I'd write it, not hang around in here hoping to come up with something clever....

Rachel
04-22-2009, 04:58 AM
If I had a bed right now (and I think i might...) I'd fall into it and fall asleep...

Ken Schneider
04-22-2009, 05:35 AM
If I had a 5 page long take home final exam essay to write right now, I'd write it, not hang around in here hoping to come up with something clever....

That was clever, and you didn't know it. Good thing you don't have an essay to write.

Don't forget about the 200 hundred pages you have to read before tomorrow.

CaroGirl
04-22-2009, 05:37 AM
If I had a ping pong paddle right now, I'd beat my husband's ass with it (and not in a good way).

Ken Schneider
04-22-2009, 05:38 AM
If I had a ping pong paddle right now, I'd beat my husband's ass with it (and not in a good way).

For? Why? Do tell.

CaroGirl
04-22-2009, 05:39 AM
For? Why? Do tell.
Wouldn't you like to know? Watch it, or your ass is next.

PMS NE1?

robeiae
04-22-2009, 06:13 AM
If I had a rocket launcher, I'd make somebody pay. Probably Haggis. Or RT.

Sweetleaf
04-22-2009, 06:50 AM
If I had a job, I would be posting on here all day.
Like many of you. :D

Too bad I'm too busy not working...

BenPanced
04-22-2009, 09:19 AM
If I had a kiss from you right now, I'd give you my heart.
Promises, promises.

If I had a bottle of orange juice, I'd look for some sloe gin.

regdog
04-22-2009, 03:47 PM
If I had a clue I'd know what I was doing right now

Adam
04-22-2009, 04:20 PM
.sdrawkcab tsop siht etirw d'I ,won thgir rorrim a dah I fI

Wayne K
04-22-2009, 04:41 PM
.sdrawkcab tsop siht etirw d'I ,won thgir rorrim a dah I fI

Cute, how long did that take?

PoppysInARow
04-22-2009, 06:37 PM
If I had a car, I'd be killing innocent civilians.

And going to class, of course. ^^

maestrowork
04-22-2009, 06:39 PM
If I had a cow right now, I'd have some milk and cereal.

quickWit
04-22-2009, 06:42 PM
If I had a cow right now, I'd have some milk and cereal.

You need a cow to bring you milk and cereal, Ray? Pfft! Just how lazy are you, anyway?


Unless, of course, by 'cow' you mean 'wife'. Then I can see your point.

:D

BenPanced
04-22-2009, 06:43 PM
If I had a pig to go with Ray's cow right now, I'd have a ham and cheese sandwich.

Rachel
04-22-2009, 06:43 PM
If I had a cow right now, I'd have some milk and cereal.


If I had cereal right now, I'd steal your cow.

maestrowork
04-22-2009, 06:45 PM
If I had cereal right now, I'd steal your cow.

If I had a hidden camera right now, I'd know where you took my cow.

CaroGirl
04-22-2009, 06:45 PM
If I had the power right now, I'd strangle my co-worker with his own French accent.

Yes. I'm still PMSing. Where the hell did I put my chocolate?!

James81
04-22-2009, 06:47 PM
If I had a I like my ____ like I like my ____ thread right now, I'd write "I like my women like I like my coffee, strong and black.

If I had a inner filter of some kind, I'd realize that posts like th is one are distasteful and perhaps be more popular.

*sheds a lone tear and slinks out of the thread*

Easyrider77
04-22-2009, 08:08 PM
If I had a fishing pole, I'd probably need surgery to remove the hook.

Wayne K
04-22-2009, 08:14 PM
If I had one dollar right now, I'd have a total of one dollar.

Perks
04-22-2009, 08:18 PM
If I had any sense at all right now, I'd have probably had some half an hour ago too, and would have avoided taken my vitamins on an empty stomach.

Adam
04-22-2009, 08:23 PM
Cute, how long did that take?

Far too long. :(

Elwolf
04-22-2009, 08:23 PM
If I had computer skills right now, I would be able to upload my work to my teacher.

Elwolf
04-22-2009, 08:27 PM
If I had a brain right now, I would have finished my book, also.

Ah, wishful thinking. Sigh.

regdog
04-22-2009, 11:45 PM
Unless, of course, by 'cow' you mean 'wife'. Then I can see your point.

:D


If I had a dead cod I'd smack Quickie with it right now for saying that




http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l117/regdog/smiley-taunt006.gif

quickWit
04-22-2009, 11:47 PM
If I had a dead cod I'd smack Quickie with it right now for saying that





http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l117/regdog/smiley-taunt006.gif



If by "dead cod" you mean "wife"...

:D

Cyia
04-22-2009, 11:47 PM
If I had a clone right now, I'd make her write today.

regdog
04-22-2009, 11:50 PM
If by "dead cod" you mean "wife"...

:D


Jackass You know Mrs QUickie would kick your ass for that :)

quickWit
04-22-2009, 11:55 PM
If I had better eyesight right now, I'd be able to read reg's'es's' last post.

Williebee
04-23-2009, 12:00 AM
If I had a boat, I'd go out on the ocean. And
If I had a pony, I'd ride him on my boat.

-- Lyle Lovett

regdog
04-23-2009, 12:15 AM
Jackass You know Mrs QUickie would kick your ass for that :)


If I had better eyesight right now, I'd be able to read reg's'es's' last post.


If you had quoted my post you would have been able to read it

Sweetleaf
04-23-2009, 05:25 AM
If I had a margarita right now, I'd skull it

Cassiopeia
04-23-2009, 05:31 AM
If I had a time machine right now, I'd go back in time and erase you from my life and go a different direction.