You Might be a Canadian

William Haskins

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Thanks to a new law, Canada will bestow citizenship Friday on what its government believes could be hundreds of thousands of unsuspecting foreigners, most of them Americans.

The April 17 amendment to Canada's Citizenship Act automatically restores Canadian nationality to many people forced to renounce it when they became citizens of another country. It also grants citizenship to their children.

The Canadian government doesn't know the precise number or location of individuals affected by the legislation. But it believes most are U.S. citizens, a spokeswoman for Canada's immigration office said. U.S. Department of Homeland Security records show 240,000 Canadians were naturalized in the U.S. from 1948 to 1977; the new law fixes problems that occurred during those years.

To reach that amorphous group of beneficiaries, the Canadian government has turned to YouTube. It's running an ad there titled "Waking up Canadian," in which a man awakens on April 17 to a room festooned with red-and-white Canadian flags. He's met by a welcoming committee consisting of two stuffed plush moose, a hockey player, and a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.


http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123993183347727843.html?mod=yhoofront
 

KTC

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Thanks to a new law, Canada will bestow citizenship Friday on what its government believes could be hundreds of thousands of unsuspecting foreigners, most of them Americans.

The April 17 amendment to Canada's Citizenship Act automatically restores Canadian nationality to many people forced to renounce it when they became citizens of another country. It also grants citizenship to their children.

The Canadian government doesn't know the precise number or location of individuals affected by the legislation. But it believes most are U.S. citizens, a spokeswoman for Canada's immigration office said. U.S. Department of Homeland Security records show 240,000 Canadians were naturalized in the U.S. from 1948 to 1977; the new law fixes problems that occurred during those years.

To reach that amorphous group of beneficiaries, the Canadian government has turned to YouTube. It's running an ad there titled "Waking up Canadian," in which a man awakens on April 17 to a room festooned with red-and-white Canadian flags. He's met by a welcoming committee consisting of two stuffed plush moose, a hockey player, and a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.


http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123993183347727843.html?mod=yhoofront

He's met with these things, but not with a Molson Canadian? I don't get it? Why isn't there a Molson Canadian in the welcoming committee?
 

Zoombie

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Does this mean I might wake up some day with the top part of my head detached from the rest and a bizarre, square body?

AUUUUUUGH!
 
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I'm gonna visit my Canadian brother, Pen Dragon as soon as my papers are mailed to me.

We're gonna get drunk and headbutt moose. Or meese.
 

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Does this mean I might wake up some day with the top part of my head detached from the rest and a bizarre, square body?

AUUUUUUGH!

We do not have square bodies.
 

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You're right.


They're more rectangular.

6a00c22521073e8e1d00fad695b6260005-500pi
 

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I'm gonna visit my Canadian brother, Pen Dragon as soon as my papers are mailed to me.

We're gonna get drunk and headbutt moose. Or meese.

For the love of hockey! The plural of moose is moose.

And we do not headbutt moose. We tip cows, but we do not headbutt moose.
 

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Crap. I miss out on free health care by one generation.

Yeah...well, I'm going to go have a lobotomy this afternoon...just because I can. Wait...um...er...no. Maybe something else. Some sort of surgery for free...just because I can. So there!
 

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So, let me guess. This will be followed about a year later with an income tax for these restored Canadian citizens?

??

No. It'll be more like an tax break. Canadian government is always giving away money to those they wronged in the past. They'll be all, "We're so sorry we renounced you. Please...we feel all bad and what not. Please take this free land in Nunavut. It's really pretty. We just feel so terrible about what we did. And here, here's a tax break for you. We insist. Take this $2000 and we'll feel so much better about screwing you over."
 

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The April 17 amendment to Canada's Citizenship Act automatically restores Canadian nationality to many people forced to renounce it when they became citizens of another country. It also grants citizenship to their children.

I was really excited about this until I read the full act. In the fine print at the bottom of the law is an exception:


Joe270, don't even think about it, eh?
 
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only if they're pretzels that are $2 (american) for a gallon jug.

and we listen to my music. you put in U2 and i'm grabbing the wheel and driving us off a cliff.

No jam bands.

I can live without U2 for the drive, but if your music doesn't have two verses, a chorus a verse a chorus a bridge a chorus and a chorus and end in roughly 4 minutes it will be I who grabs the wheel and turns the car into an oncoming 18 wheeler.