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greatfish
04-12-2009, 01:42 AM
If someone slipped a few small periodicals they hadn't actually been published in into their cover letter, what would be the consequences?

valerie_parker
04-12-2009, 01:48 AM
dire

blacbird
04-12-2009, 01:50 AM
Absolutely awful idea. Forget you ever thought about it.

caw

scarletpeaches
04-12-2009, 01:50 AM
The mafia would break into your house, set fire to your gran and make you lick the toilet bowl clean with your teeth.

Then they'd beat you with sticks, cut you up into chunks, feed you to the dogs, wait 'til the dogs pooed you out, then feed the poo to poo-eating sharks.

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

Srsly. Don't do it. It's lying and unless you want a reputation as a liar who WILL be found out, DON'T DO IT.

NeuroFizz
04-12-2009, 01:50 AM
The person could be branded a fraud (and rightly so), and all the talent in the world would find that barrier a tough one to break down.

I'm a little baffled why someone would even have to ask this question, although I seem to remember that some unsavory individuals (usually ones who dispense writing advice for some kind of profit) have advised new writers to do this very thing.

Cybernaught
04-12-2009, 01:51 AM
Tisk. Tisk. :Lecture:

Cyia
04-12-2009, 01:52 AM
Consequences?

A total lack of respect from anyone that person could hope to be published by in the future leading to the end of a career before it started.

AngelRoseDarke
04-12-2009, 01:57 AM
I was raised that honesty is the best policy. Your character is all you really have. If you tarnish that by lying about your credentials you will never get anywhere. Don't do it! It's better to admit that you are unpublished and let your work speak for you.

Adam
04-12-2009, 02:04 AM
The mafia would break into your house, set fire to your gran and make you lick the toilet bowl clean with your teeth.

Then they'd beat you with sticks, cut you up into chunks, feed you to the dogs, wait 'til the dogs pooed you out, then feed the poo to poo-eating sharks.

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

Srsly. Don't do it. It's lying and unless you want a reputation as a liar who WILL be found out, DON'T DO IT.

And that's if they're LUCKY!

Sorry, had to. :D



On topic - Really not a good idea. Like everyone else has said, if they were found out (and they almost definitely would be), it would ruin any reputation they'd built up.

Bukarella
04-12-2009, 02:05 AM
Your reputation will be ruined, no respectable man will every ask for your hand... :cry:

Ehem...
If they wanted to buy your story, they won't, because they checked your credentials.

AnonymousWriter
04-12-2009, 02:11 AM
Please don't tell me that you're considering this. Don't do it.

Wayne K
04-12-2009, 02:17 AM
I was told that honesty is the best policy and then shown that ...no, not so much. Writing is personal though. It is to me anyway.

This subject gets to me because I could have gone nuts lying in my memoir without any fear of reprisal. I just can't do it.


If you make it on a lie, you really didn't make it did you?

Saint Fool
04-12-2009, 02:25 AM
It would be wrong. Don't do it. And if you're still considering it after all the arguments against it, I've got one word for you -- Google.

Toothpaste
04-12-2009, 02:47 AM
What's more it is utterly unnecessary. An author can get published with absolutely no credits to her name. So not only is it dishonest, but a waste of effort.

colealpaugh
04-12-2009, 02:52 AM
I was assuming greatfish was just asking only out of curiosity. Heck, I wonder what would happen if I stick my hand down the garbage disposal, but...

jamiehall
04-12-2009, 03:06 AM
There were a bunch of posts on the Making Light blog a while back about a guy who did this (sorry I didn't manage to find them, perhaps someone else will help by digging them up!). Not only does it put you lower than an unpublished author as far as your likelihood of getting published in the future, it also makes you a laughingstock.

The first thing agents and editors do is look up any publication credentials you've told them about. If they can't find them, the s**t hits the fan.

Matera the Mad
04-12-2009, 03:24 AM
Same as if you lie about your education or use fake employment history and references when applying for a job. Or try for bigamy. Bad stupid-assness.

Birol
04-12-2009, 04:53 AM
Is the piece you're submitting really that weak?

dancingandflying
04-12-2009, 05:00 AM
Bad things.

But seriously, don't do it.

d&f.

jamiehall
04-12-2009, 06:52 AM
There were a bunch of posts on the Making Light blog a while back about a guy who did this (sorry I didn't manage to find them, perhaps someone else will help by digging them up!).

Wait, I believe I've found it:

http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/005212.html

blacbird
04-12-2009, 07:56 AM
We appear to have achieved a first: Utter unanimity in responses to an OP. I'll need to start a thread about the desirability of drowning cute kittens.

caw

Cyia
04-12-2009, 08:58 AM
We appear to have achieved a first: Utter unanimity in responses to an OP. I'll need to start a thread about the desirability of drowning cute kittens.

caw

Forget that. With odds like these, I'm playing PowerBall.

Topaz044
04-12-2009, 09:13 AM
I have to agree with everyone else. The very idea is personally insulting to me, because I worked hard for my own credentials. Secondly, editors talk to each other, and it's very easy to find out the truth.

kikilynn
04-12-2009, 09:19 AM
Not only would you be disrespecting yourself, but every other person trying to get published. It also shows that you think whoever you're submitting to is too dim witted to ever figure out what you've done, they're not. Remember in High School when you learn about plagiarism? It's basically the same consequences.

Nivarion
04-12-2009, 09:46 AM
It might have worked before this little invention all AW's use.

Okay, get ready for it.

Drum roll

The internet.

We're in the information era of baby! meaning that people deal in information most and first. just think about how easy it is to get the stuff before you try making fake info.


but if you do do it, then they will cut off your hands, chain your feet to a boulder and launch the boulder from a trebuche into the middle of a lake.

wordmonkey
04-12-2009, 04:21 PM
I was assuming greatfish was just asking only out of curiosity. Heck, I wonder what would happen if I stick my hand down the garbage disposal, but...

Actually, if you really wanna know, fake some credits and let scarletpeaches find out you did it. The hand down the disposal unit is likely to be part of what follows.

...as well as poo-eating sharks.

scarletpeaches
04-12-2009, 04:51 PM
I'm so proud when other members mention me. It makes me feel loved.

Either that, or feared.

Works for me. :D

Cybernaught
04-12-2009, 09:43 PM
Now that I think about it, lying seems to have panned out for James Frey. They actually published another one of his books, fiction this time, as it were.

BlueLucario
04-13-2009, 07:05 PM
What does it all mean to fake credentials?

Adam
04-13-2009, 07:25 PM
Faking credentials means, in this case, to lie about where you've been previously published.

For example: If I was to send a submission to a magazine and then say in the email that I had had 3 articles published in the New Yorker, when I hadn't, I'd be faking my credentials in the hope that the editor would think "ooh, the New Yorker! He must be good."

Something like that anyway. :D

BlueLucario
04-13-2009, 07:29 PM
OH!!! Lol

That's kind of stupid. If you lied about that, why not publish under a different name, so someone wouldn't know you were Robert Jackson.

Phaeal
04-13-2009, 08:40 PM
It's been a bad day for Animalia on AW. First muskrats are accused of serving as primary weapons for the British Army, now sharks are accused of eating poo. People should really do some fact checking around here. Sharks don't eat poo, poo eats sharks!

And if you fake your credentials, you could end up PUBLISHED! By a major house! With critical acclaim! James Frey has already been mentioned. There's also Margaret Seltzer, whose "memoir" Love and Consequences was all about her utterly fabricated credentials as a poor white child raised in LA gangland.

It's all too horrible to contemplate...

Birol
04-14-2009, 07:59 AM
And if that's the type of notoriety you want, Phael, more power to you, but I don't want to be associated with you, no matter the quality of your writing, and I don't want you to be associated with the literary profession.

blacbird
04-14-2009, 09:21 AM
I'm so proud when other members mention me. It makes me feel loved.

"Don't get cocky." -- Han Solo

caw

scarletpeaches
04-14-2009, 02:30 PM
You quoted me. You like me! You really like me!

/sallyfieldmode-off

Phaeal
04-14-2009, 04:36 PM
And if that's the type of notoriety you want, Phael, more power to you, but I don't want to be associated with you, no matter the quality of your writing, and I don't want you to be associated with the literary profession.

Ouchy. I'm trying to figure out what part of my post suggested I wanted that type of notoriety. I guess I forgot the sarcasm smilies.

Oh, but thanks for the implied compliment on the quality of my writing. ;)

badducky
04-14-2009, 11:10 PM
Also, don't start a publication under an alias just to boost your own publication history. That's a bad idea, on par with lying in a cover letter.

And, for the love of pete, don't start a cult about diaretics, lie about your college education, or do anything that might make Oprah mad at you if she found out about it!