Really gross questions for meat lovers

dolores haze

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Thanks for clicking!

My really gross questions are:

What, in your opinion, would be the finest cut of meat from a human?
What part of the body would it come from, and why do you think this would be the best cut? I'm looking for the filet mignon of human meat.

Thank you so much.

And, yes - it is for a story.
 

RJK

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I'd be guseeing it would work the same as with beef or pork. Center cut ribeye, or cut the filet from that. We don't have as much meat in that area as cattle do.
 

alleycat

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Maybe human tenderloin from along the backbone. I'm thinking the human equivalent of beef sirloin would be the dorsi muscles along each side of the lower back.

Hmmm, delicious.

;-)
 

Fade

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According to my social studies teacher (he was watching some interview with a cannibal or something) the meaty part right under your thumb. I'm looking for a picture to clarify.
 

dolores haze

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Thank you, meat lovers!

I'd be guseeing it would work the same as with beef or pork. Center cut ribeye, or cut the filet from that. We don't have as much meat in that area as cattle do.

What part of the human body would that come from?

Maybe human tenderloin from along the backbone. I'm thinking the human equivalent of beef sirloin would be the dorsi muscles along each side of the lower back.

Hmmm, delicious.

;-)

Yeah, the dorsal/sirloin sounds pretty good. It would be a lean cut, right?

According to my social studies teacher (he was watching some interview with a cannibal or something) the meaty part right under your thumb. I'm looking for a picture to clarify.

Sounds like a delicacy item. No need for a picture. I can't stop staring at the meaty part under my thumb!


Another question:

Would a human steak look more like pork than beef?
 

Shail

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Try cannibalism on Wiki. Hang on a sec and I'll get you the link.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Buehler_Seabrook

Below is the appropriate section quoted from the article.

"Seabrook went on a trip to West Africa, living with a tribe known as the Guere. He asked the chief what human meat tasted like, but the chief couldn't describe it to Seabrook's satisfaction. Later, Seabrook had the opportunity to try it himself, getting a portion of stew with rice as well as a "sizeable rump steak, also a small loin roast to cook or have cooked" however he wanted. The source, Seabrook stated, was a recently killed man, but he was not murdered.[1] He reported that, "It was like good, fully developed veal, not young, but not yet beef. It was very definitely like that, and it was not like any other meat I had ever tasted. It was so nearly like good, fully developed veal that I think no person with a palate of ordinary, normal sensitiveness could distinguish it from veal. It was mild, good meat with no other sharply defined or highly characteristic taste such as for instance, goat, high game, and pork have. The steak was slightly tougher than prime veal, a little stringy, but not too tough or stringy to be agreeably edible. The roast, from which I cut and ate a central slice, was tender, and in color, texture, smell as well as taste, strengthened my certainty that of all the meats we habitually know, veal is the one meat to which this meat is accurately comparable."[2]"


As for the stuff about meat cuts--Albert Fish thought the rump was the best. Gluteus Maximus. Just saying.
 
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Millicent M'Lady

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Try cannibalism on Wiki. Hang on a sec and I'll get you the link.

As for the stuff about meat cuts--Albert Fish thought the rump was the best. Gluteus Maximus. Just saying.

I would (theoretically!) second rump. Or, for extra grossness, how about this? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armin_Meiwes . I warn you, it's icky!
 

alleycat

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Yeah, the dorsal/sirloin sounds pretty good. It would be a lean cut, right?
That actually made me chuckle . . . we're not only discussing what would be a good cut of human meat, but we're concerned with its fat content.

Personally, I only buy organic, free-range human meat.

:)
 

Mumut

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Look up Fijian sites on their ritualistic division of the human body for consumption. There was a set order. The most prised meat (might not be the most tender, I'm not sure, I haven't put it to the test) is given to the most important person in the tribe, I think. It would be an interesting slant on the subject.
 

Puma

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The veal comparsion is interesting. I had a friend who had been in the RAF in England during WWII. One time he was on the clean-up crew for a plane that crashed coming in. He said as they drove out to the wreckage there was a delicious smell in the air - much like a good ham roasting. Then he realized it was the pilot. So I always assumed human would taste more like pork. Puma
 

dolores haze

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You know - there's not many places in this world where I could ask this question and not get arrested. Here on AW, however, I recieve answers beyond my wildest dreams.

Thank You!
 

Matera the Mad

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Depends on the human, I suppose -- either side of the oven door. My rump roast would have too much fat for modern tastes. A prime leg of me would taste good, though, 'cause I don't smoke. I would guess that if you are going for tenderness and all that, we two-leggers would probably divide up pretty much like cows and pigs. If any part has greater status value in the cannibal culture, that outweighs its eating quality. Brains are a major treat but watch out for Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease.
 

StephanieFox

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The tenderest pieces would be muscles that got the least movement. That would exclude legs and arms in most people. The toughest, but possibly most flavorful would be the leg and arm muscles. These would require long, moist cooking like a braise.
 

Millicent M'Lady

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The veal comparsion is interesting. I had a friend who had been in the RAF in England during WWII. One time he was on the clean-up crew for a plane that crashed coming in. He said as they drove out to the wreckage there was a delicious smell in the air - much like a good ham roasting. Then he realized it was the pilot. So I always assumed human would taste more like pork. Puma

Actually, this makes sense. A friend and I went to see the Bodies exhibition (before I knew that the bodies didn't come from self-donations- I had it confused with the Austrian guy who vulcanises bodies that people donate to him in their wills). Anyway (rant over!), up close the flesh looked exactly like Christmas bacon/ham. Seriously. I couldn't eat any pork products for two months after... :(
 

2Wheels

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And to quote Flanders and Swan:
"Ah, roast leg of insurance salesman ..."
(The Reluctant Cannibal)

With apologies to insurance salespeople ...
 

xaine5150

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Okay, to begin with let me just say that it's difficult to seriously answer this question without coming across as just plain creepy and ghoulish. However, as I would hope to find good feedback on a difficult question, I'll offer my opinion with the one proviso that no one think me a freak for putting this much serious thought into this topic. I will do my best here to answer as clinically as I can as someone who enjoys eating and cooking meat.
For starters, the direct answer to your question, the secret to a good cut of meat is all about marbling and texture. It's true for beef, pork chicken and any other meat source I know of so I imagine it's the same for a human body. Marbling, simply put is the ratio of fat to muscle. Also important is the density of that muscle.
Muscle is what we carnivores most like to eat, but the trick to cooking it sufficiently is that you have to trap in the moisture that's in the meat. Marbling helps with this because of it's oil content. It forms a natural barrier around the muscle, ensuring that the moisture is kept in the muscle which keeps that tissue from becoming too tough.
Good examples of tissue on a human body that would feature these characteristics would be buttocks, back muscle tissue, upper arms, shoulders, breasts, abdominal muscles and thighs.
For the record I am aware that a woman's breasts are mostly fatty tissue, I'm referring to the actual muscle tissue more visible on a male body.
Now this is where this question gets really creepy. I get from your question that the cannibal or cannibals in your story aren't necessarily doing this for the nutritional value of the meat. Instead they seem to be doing this for fun. I would imagine that this would play into their preference for the cut of person meat they're interested in.
Keep in mind, to resort in cannibalism a person must be either desperate for anything to eat or completely screwed up in the head. When I think screwed up in the head I realize that the vast majority of people who fit the screwed in the head category that I have met demonstrated sexually deviant behavior and that somehow sex was linked to at least the outward manifestations of their mental illness.
The point I'm trying to avoid making here is that you shouldn't discount the erogenous zones on a persons body when contemplating what a choice cut of meat would be. Perhaps these areas may not provide the best meat or the most nutritional value, but they would appeal to a person who was engaging in this behavior for any form of pleasure.
please, again I say, I'm only offering ideas here because I can appreciate that this writer is approaching a difficult topic and would like to offer feedback. I'm not seriously discussing the consumption of a human body as something that I find the least bit interesting.
 

Thump

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Keep in mind, to resort in cannibalism a person must be either desperate for anything to eat or completely screwed up in the head. When I think screwed up in the head I realize that the vast majority of people who fit the screwed in the head category that I have met demonstrated sexually deviant behavior and that somehow sex was linked to at least the outward manifestations of their mental illness.

Now, now, let's not discount cannibalism as a legitimate ritual practice :) I'm sure there are more cannibalistic peoples than there are cannibalistic sickos. For ritual, maybe the brain, liver and heart would be most attractive. But it seems to me that the OP's human-eaters (they could be aliens and therefore not cannibals :D) consider it as we would beef or chicken and want to prepare a nice human steak for Valentine's with their sweetheart :D
 

fabkebab

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One thing that I dont see mentioned -

Would the meat of a vegetarian taste nicer than that from a meat eater? We are what we eat, right?
Also, maybe its an urban myth, but I have heard it said several times that human meat would be so filled with chemicals and toxins, that it would never be sellable in a supermarket, even if it was considered ethical on other grounds
 

Prawn

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I am slightly horrified that I more comfortable reading this thread than the one about losing your virginity. On the other thread, I got creeped out by the line "Your penis is in me." In this thread I am much less creeped out by "Your penis is in me, along with your liver, some fava beans and a nice chianti."
 

Puma

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Just occurred to me - one of the more recent Michael Crichton books had a cannibal episode. In it the cheek (face) was the delicacy reserved for the chief. I think the book was State of Fear. It has an extensive bibliography. Puma
 

Horserider

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Honestly, the only part of meat you are going to get off of me is in my legs. I have nothing above that. Just bone. So I'd say the thigh or leg (which incidentally is also my favorite part of a chicken...) would be the best.