Cover Letter Question

kaliannah

Registered
Joined
Feb 20, 2005
Messages
19
Reaction score
1
Location
USA
Website
www.kaliannah.com
I've labored over a proposal and now I seem to be stumped over what should/should not be included in the cover letter. I have a fear that if my cover letter isn't adequate or well-written, my proposal may never be read. With that said, if someone would please give me their thoughts on the body of my first draft? Thanks!


Enclosed is my proposal, Amazing Resumes. With the inclusion of over 80 sample resumes, cover letters and thank you letters, as well as confident interviewing strategies and faith-based quotes, I feel it will appeal to many women newly entering/re-entering the work force or changing careers. When completed, the length will be approximately 214 pages.

My work has appeared in Whispers for Women, Exploring Womanhood, HerTopia, Blue Suit Mom, Between Moms, Savvy Women’s Magazine and SOHO Today. My self-published career guide, Start Your Own Transcription Business, is currently in its second printing.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your reply.




 

Lauri B

I Heart Mac
Absolute Sage
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
2,038
Reaction score
400
kaliannah said:
I've labored over a proposal and now I seem to be stumped over what should/should not be included in the cover letter. I have a fear that if my cover letter isn't adequate or well-written, my proposal may never be read. With that said, if someone would please give me their thoughts on the body of my first draft? Thanks!



Enclosed is my proposal, Amazing Resumes. With the inclusion of over 80 sample resumes, cover letters and thank you letters, as well as confident interviewing strategies and faith-based quotes, I feel it will appeal to many women newly entering/re-entering the work force or changing careers. When completed, the length will be approximately 214 pages.


My work has appeared in Whispers for Women, Exploring Womanhood, HerTopia, Blue Suit Mom, Between Moms, Savvy Women’s Magazine and SOHO Today. My self-published career guide, Start Your Own Transcription Business, is currently in its second printing.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your reply.






Hi Kaliannah,
Well, for me anyway, the biggest problem with this letter is that it doesn't tell me what your book is about--is it a guide to writing great resumes, or a guide for women who have bee out of the workforce for awhile to get a jumpstart on getting back into it. or both--or neither? Believe me, I appreciate a short cover letter, but you need even a one sentence description of what your book is about.
A couple of minor suggestions: the sentence starting with, "With the inclusion of. . ." is a really tortured one. Why not say, "the book will include X,Y, and Z, and will appeal to X and Y." I had a hard time getting through it.
Second, if you are pitching this to secular publishers, I wouldn't necessarily highlight the fact that faith-based quotes are a big part of the manuscript. For some people that is a real turn-off. If you're pitching primarily to Christian publishers, then it's a strong selling point (obviously).

Good luck!
Lauri
 

Cathy C

Ooo! Shiny new cover!
Kind Benefactor
Absolute Sage
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 5, 2005
Messages
9,907
Reaction score
1,834
Location
Hiding in my writing cave
Website
www.cathyclamp.com
I agree with what Lauri said, and would also ask if there's a reason in the text why men wouldn't also benefit? National publishers will be looking for something with general appeal. Niche markets are fine, (Christian women re-entering the workforce), but the niche should be something not presently being reached. The publisher needs to believe it will sell over and above those already on the shelf.
 

kaliannah

Registered
Joined
Feb 20, 2005
Messages
19
Reaction score
1
Location
USA
Website
www.kaliannah.com
Belated thanks for your input on my coverletter. I've since altered it using the suggestions - the inspirational quotes and verses have been removed. Thanks again!