I wanna write like Stephanie Meyer, be all popular and stuff. What do I need to do?

1) Have a dream about a sparkly vampire.
2) Create cardboard cutouts of characters.
3) Don't bother with a plot
4) Rape a thesaurus.
5) Aim the book at misguided youths
6) Rake in cash

Only advise I can give is channel Stephanie Meyer.

They are no problems, only solutiions. ---John Lennon

I couldn't imagine trying to write the way someone else does. It might be ok for a few paragraphs but the strain of writing a whole book like that would be killing. Just hone your own writing to be very readable.

I'm brand new here, and certainly no one of particular consequence in the 'writing world' - but felt a bit of a compulsion to reply. Congrats to Stephanie and all, but in some ways, writing is no different than say - reality teevee - just because something catches on like wildfire doesn't necessarily mean its the do all, be all, end all of something...

This is not meant to sound at all 'heroic' or anything, because I'm not heroic or nobel at all - but I've found that if you write to make money - like anything else - what you write becomes a product of your intent/motivation. I know it would be pretty cool for me to get paid to write, but ultimately I write because if I didn't my head would explode. And I write because I hope that in reading my words, someone might find a moment of connection, a moment to dream or just a moment to think something they might not otherwise have. Whether or not I'll ever achieve that remains to be seen...

... couldn't help you with being Meyer. But if you want to write popular books that are huge sellers a good way to go is to read a few dozen bestsellers like Twilight. And if you discover any commonalities, please be sure to let me in on them ;-)

underthecity said:

I mean, look at all the tribute threads on AW today. Tell me what I must do to become more like our idol, our goddess of the planet, Stephanie Meyer. So my book will sell good, too, and be made into a movie. Obviously she's done something right.

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She built an excellent world and told an engaging story. Then she got a bit of luck at the agency she sent her manuscript to, and the agent knew how to push her book to the right publisher. She has done a LOT right. But, don't write like her. Write like yourself. You won't succeed otherwise.

marisaMARTYR said:

1) Have a dream about a sparkly vampire.
2) Create cardboard cutouts of characters.
3) Don't bother with a plot
4) Rape a thesaurus.
5) Aim the book at misguided youths
6) Rake in cash

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I really have a problem with comments like this. I realize you are being sarcastic, yada yada. I hope you don't actually believe what you are spewing. If so, it shows a definite lack of understanding of the Meyer's books as well as her success as an author.

But, let's take the points, shall we?
1) She had a dream which inspired her to write a novel. Wow. What a horrible way to find inspiration for a story.
2) Have you read the books? If you have read the books then reread them. Her characters are not cardboard cutouts. I covered this issue in another thread. You can find it here: Twilight Series
3) She had a plot. Excellent plot. Excellent story. You may want to take another look at it if you didn't see it in the first place. You can not tell a good story without a plot. And she tells a very good story.
4) I am not sure how using descriptors in one's story equates to rape. It is a very odd metaphor which frankly doesn't fit. It also is vile. I do not understand why I am seeing it used as much as I have lately. Not cute at all, if that was the intention.
5) I read in the forums earlier that she did not try to market Twilight to YA, that that was a decision on part of her agent. What your point insinuates, however, is that the book wouldn't sell if it was marketed to an adult audience. (It also puts down young people, which is irritating to the max.) You might want to go tell that to all those adults who have bought and read the books and are now fans, including those who have started their own online fandom sites.
6) Rake in cash. Is that not the ultimate goal of having a book published? I personally can do without the fame if I am making the money to meet my financial goals. Kudos to Meyers for 'raking in the cash'.

JustDee said:

I'm brand new here, and certainly no one of particular consequence in the 'writing world' - but felt a bit of a compulsion to reply. Congrats to Stephanie and all, but in some ways, writing is no different than say - reality teevee - just because something catches on like wildfire doesn't necessarily mean its the do all, be all, end all of something...

This is not meant to sound at all 'heroic' or anything, because I'm not heroic or nobel at all - but I've found that if you write to make money - like anything else - what you write becomes a product of your intent/motivation. I know it would be pretty cool for me to get paid to write, but ultimately I write because if I didn't my head would explode. And I write because I hope that in reading my words, someone might find a moment of connection, a moment to dream or just a moment to think something they might not otherwise have. Whether or not I'll ever achieve that remains to be seen...

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JustDee, I wanted to say that this is a completely lovely post
However, you might want to click the banner or check the date.

marisaMARTYR said:

1) Have a dream about a sparkly vampire.
2) Create cardboard cutouts of characters.
3) Don't bother with a plot
4) Rape a thesaurus.
5) Aim the book at misguided youths
6) Rake in cash

Click to expand...

I haven't had this much fun since the last full moon.

Shok

First, make chastity the #1 priority of your characters. Also, make sure your vampires believe in heaven and God, because even though vampires never see heaven or God, being unable to die and all, this is somehow very important to them. This presents a nice wholesome image for the young girls. Also, let your MC beat his girlfriend, and make sure the girlfriend begs for more and declines a full scholarship to Dartmouth so she can be his barefoot teenage bride. It's okay because they aren't having premarital sex.

Lastly, and most importantly, do NOT develop your MC. Yes he's been alive for a hundred years, which invites so many opportunities to delve into his lonely past, women he has loved and watched grow old, relatives whose graves he haunts, an education he could have in his perpetual youth perfected. NONE of these things matter. Pretend he has spent the last 100 years staring at a wall, going to high school again and again, doing nothing to improve his intelligence with his eternal youth. Sure he's had time to read every literary masterpiece in the world, but make him listen to punk rock CDs instead!

Sexy vampires never get old (pun intended). Add sparkles and teenage angst...

Now I demand 15% of your success.

tomothecat said:

First, make chastity the #1 priority of your characters. Also, make sure your vampires believe in heaven and God, because even though vampires never see heaven or God, being unable to die and all, this is somehow very important to them. This presents a nice wholesome image for the young girls. Also, let your MC beat his girlfriend, and make sure the girlfriend begs for more and declines a full scholarship to Dartmouth so she can be his barefoot teenage bride. It's okay because they aren't having premarital sex.

Lastly, and most importantly, do NOT develop your MC. Yes he's been alive for a hundred years, which invites so many opportunities to delve into his lonely past, women he has loved and watched grow old, relatives whose graves he haunts, an education he could have in his perpetual youth perfected. NONE of these things matter. Pretend he has spent the last 100 years staring at a wall, going to high school again and again, doing nothing to improve his intelligence with his eternal youth. Sure he's had time to read every literary masterpiece in the world, but make him listen to punk rock CDs instead!

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Tomo, I love you.

Utterly brilliant.

No doubt you'll be slayed before it happens.

Ambrosia, my credibility scanner can't handle "two teens...who didn't have the experience to keep from getting hurt" (quoted from the post linked above) when one of them is a hundred years old. Want to rent my scanner?

Ambrosia said:

1) She had a dream which inspired her to write a novel. Wow. What a horrible way to find inspiration for a story.

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No one said it was horrible. But that's how Meyer's writing started, so it's a fact.

Ambrosia said:

2) Have you read the books? If you have read the books then reread them. Her characters are not cardboard cutouts. I covered this issue in another thread. You can find it here: Twilight Series

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Yes I have and yes they are.

Ambrosia said:

3) She had a plot. Excellent plot. Excellent story. You may want to take another look at it if you didn't see it in the first place. You can not tell a good story without a plot. And she tells a very good story.

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Plot? Where? Oh, would that be the fight that happens in the last ten pages of the book which Bella misses because she's unconscious while Edward saves her ass yet again?

Ambrosia said:

4) I am not sure how using descriptors in one's story equates to rape. It is a very odd metaphor which frankly doesn't fit. It also is vile. I do not understand why I am seeing it used as much as I have lately. Not cute at all, if that was the intention.

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Oh please. Description is not evil. Overuse of description? Thesaurus rape.

Ambrosia said:

5) I read in the forums earlier that she did not try to market Twilight to YA, that that was a decision on part of her agent. What your point insinuates, however, is that the book wouldn't sell if it was marketed to an adult audience. (It also puts down young people, which is irritating to the max.) You might want to go tell that to all those adults who have bought and read the books and are now fans, including those who have started their own online fandom sites.

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Um...right.

Ambrosia said:

6) Rake in cash. Is that not the ultimate goal of having a book published? I personally can do without the fame if I am making the money to meet my financial goals. Kudos to Meyers for 'raking in the cash'.

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Are you for real? I mean, did you miss the point of the post you quoted -taking the piss?

*cue lots of this is not funny posts in defence of smeyer*

Ambrosia said:

But, let's take the points, shall we?
1) She had a dream which inspired her to write a novel. Wow. What a horrible way to find inspiration for a story.
2) Have you read the books? If you have read the books then reread them. Her characters are not cardboard cutouts. I covered this issue in another thread. You can find it here: Twilight Series
3) She had a plot. Excellent plot. Excellent story. You may want to take another look at it if you didn't see it in the first place. You can not tell a good story without a plot. And she tells a very good story.
4) I am not sure how using descriptors in one's story equates to rape. It is a very odd metaphor which frankly doesn't fit. It also is vile. I do not understand why I am seeing it used as much as I have lately. Not cute at all, if that was the intention.
5) I read in the forums earlier that she did not try to market Twilight to YA, that that was a decision on part of her agent. What your point insinuates, however, is that the book wouldn't sell if it was marketed to an adult audience. (It also puts down young people, which is irritating to the max.) You might want to go tell that to all those adults who have bought and read the books and are now fans, including those who have started their own online fandom sites.
6) Rake in cash. Is that not the ultimate goal of having a book published? I personally can do without the fame if I am making the money to meet my financial goals. Kudos to Meyers for 'raking in the cash'.

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I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say that if you can say all of these things with a straight, serious face, then you are just REALLY easy to impress.

Ambrosia said:

2) Have you read the books? If you have read the books then reread them. Her characters are not cardboard cutouts.

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Ambrosia said:

If so, it shows a definite lack of understanding of the Meyer's books as well as her success as an author. I read them, I understood them, and I didn't like them, speaking as an aspiring writer.

But, let's take the points, shall we?
1) She had a dream which inspired her to write a novel. Wow. What a horrible way to find inspiration for a story.
2) Have you read the books? If you have read the books then reread them. Her characters are not cardboard cutouts. I covered this issue in another thread. You can find it here: Twilight Series What Scarletpeaches said, they are cardboard. Bella stands there, trips, nearly gets run over, and things happen around her. As Tomo so eloquently posted, Edward is 100 years old, he's about as deep as a saucer of milk. Did he learn nothing over that century, a century when the world went from horses and cars to jet planes?
3) She had a plot. Excellent plot. Excellent story. You may want to take another look at it if you didn't see it in the first place. You can not tell a good story without a plot. And she tells a very good story. Ah, yes, plot. Miserable, self-absorbed girl gets into stupid situations and relies on others to bail her out. Deep stuff, that.
4) I am not sure how using descriptors in one's story equates to rape. It is a very odd metaphor which frankly doesn't fit. It also is vile. I do not understand why I am seeing it used as much as I have lately. Not cute at all, if that was the intention.
5) I read in the forums earlier that she did not try to market Twilight to YA, that that was a decision on part of her agent. What your point insinuates, however, is that the book wouldn't sell if it was marketed to an adult audience. (It also puts down young people, which is irritating to the max.) You might want to go tell that to all those adults who have bought and read the books and are now fans, including those who have started their own online fandom sites. "You might", you use that a lot, it's a little patronising, please don't do that.
6) Rake in cash. Is that not the ultimate goal of having a book published? I personally can do without the fame if I am making the money to meet my financial goals. Kudos to Meyers for 'raking in the cash'.

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Money is nice, no doubt about it, I have some bills to be paid but I'd like others to read and enjoy my books, any money I make is the icing on the cake.

Borrowing your phrase, "you might" want to read more widely in the genre and see what can be accomplished by writers who take pride in their craft.

What was the question again?

Wayne K said:

What was the question again?

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Why are Twilight-defenders speaking in a Twilight parody thread for 200, Alex.

firedrake said:

Money is nice, no doubt about it, I have some bills to be paid but I'd like others to read and enjoy my books, any money I make is the icing on the cake.

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Ok, gotta ask, don't you think Meyer thinks the same way? And people read and enjoy her books, literary merit or not.

Ah, the hatin', Jimmy. The hatin' is overwhelmin'!

:headdesk:

Is it not possible to dislike a book without being accused of hating the author?

I. Don't. Like. The. Books.

I'm sure Stephenie Meyers is lovely and I'm happy for her but the books don't work for me.

End of.