PDA

View Full Version : Is Obama actually a vampire?



robeiae
04-01-2009, 03:57 PM
Facts for your consideration:

Obama is tall and thin and neat
the price of whole blood has dropped precipitously
there is now a coffin in the Lincoln Bedroom (according to inside sources)
the White House Chef has been forbidden from using Garlic (except when serving Harry Reid)
Obama has no reflection


I'll post more dirt as I uncover it.

dclary
04-01-2009, 04:03 PM
Vampire, Lich, Socialist...

evil comes in many names.

Mr Flibble
04-01-2009, 04:22 PM
Not sure, but I do have compelling evidence that Dubya was a were-gerbil.

Diana Hignutt
04-01-2009, 04:46 PM
To answer you post's question: Yes, of course, he's a vampire...he's a politician isn't he?

Romantic Heretic
04-01-2009, 05:20 PM
Doubtful. Vampires prefer to work behind the scenes. Dangerous to be noticed.

On the other hand most humans are so greedy and hateful it's easy to distract them. Most vampires know how limited and vulnerable they are. Humans tend to confuse themselves with the belief that they and God are interchangeable.

Silly humans.

Cranky
04-01-2009, 05:22 PM
Well, DUH. Geeze. The Onion did a piece on that like, ages ago.

scottishpunk
04-01-2009, 05:32 PM
Yes.

Next question?

SHBueche
04-01-2009, 05:35 PM
Anyone notice the Absolute Write masthead today?

Cranky
04-01-2009, 05:37 PM
Anyone notice the Absolute Write Bite masthead today?

Fixed it for ya. :D

That said, I think it should say something about werewolves, which are loads better than angsty, sparkly, pretty vampires with stalker tendencies.

Just sayin'.

robeiae
04-01-2009, 07:02 PM
I sense you peeps aren't taking this seriously...

Julie Worth
04-01-2009, 07:29 PM
Is Obama actually a vampire?

Vampires are quite popular nowadays, and so is Obama. The conclusion is inescapable.

katiemac
04-01-2009, 07:43 PM
If he IS a vampire, he's nowhere near as HAWT as Edward ...

Haggis
04-01-2009, 07:53 PM
If he IS a vampire, he's nowhere near as HAWT as Edward ...

If? Seems to me it's pretty clear.

http://i116.photobucket.com/albums/o15/Damnhaggis/y301rtdhpc.gif

Cyia
04-01-2009, 08:33 PM
Who cares if he's a vampire? All that matters is whether or not he was turned in the United States.

darkprincealain
04-01-2009, 09:16 PM
I haven't seen his turning certificate.


Vampire, Lich, Socialist...

evil comes in many names.

I just have a sneaking suspicion that if we have all these were-gerbils and vampires about, that there's gotta be a lich in there somewhere.

Romantic Heretic
04-01-2009, 11:04 PM
You mean like this one?

http://images.cafepress.com/image/31683053_400x400.jpg

Death Wizard
04-02-2009, 06:59 AM
If vampires are awesome, then he's certainly a vampire!

mscelina
04-02-2009, 07:14 AM
Definitely has the blood sucker part down pat, I'd say.

GeorgeK
04-02-2009, 07:46 AM
Facts for your consideration:

Obama is tall and thin and neat
the price of whole blood has dropped precipitously
there is now a coffin in the Lincoln Bedroom (according to inside sources)
the White House Chef has been forbidden from using Garlic (except when serving Harry Reid)
Obama has no reflection


I'll post more dirt as I uncover it.

simple misconfusion...That box is not a coffin. It's a clone spawning chamber. How do you think he managed to campaign the way he did? The travel logs don't match unless he's got a time machine because his talks on the campaign trail in Madison and Milwaukee overlapped by 23 seconds. At last count there are 14 Barak clones and 3 Michelles. Our biggest problem is that every 6th clone is evil and they get worse. The Clinton's killed the first evil clone. Hillary crawled up behind him while Bill tried to seduce him and when he was distracted, Bill pushed the clone over Hillary and tossed him down a stairwell. Biden and Dean killed the second one by stabbing him repeatedly with fountain pens and as the clone struggled while trying to flee, Kennedy tackled him in the reflecting pool and drowned him. The next clone, if they make it will be really evil since it will bring the total including the original and the 2 dead ones to 18 which is the third 6, or 666.

The Garlic is the safeguard in the system. The real Obamas can eat it, but clones have been made to be anaphylactically allergic.