Employment debate...

KikiteNeko · Mar 25, 2009

Since losing my (temp) job last month, I have been exploring two avenues of employment (besides writing, of course): Nannying, and office work.

I've never BEEN a nanny but I have a lot of experience with kids. I've been pooped on, vomited on, you name it. The first time I held my cousin's new baby, he was like "BLARGH!" on my sweater. There are seven kids under age five in my family, and I spend a lot of time with two of them in particular. Anyway. I had a nanny interview last week and I really liked the family. The kids were sweet and the mother seemed like she'd be great to work for. She told me that she is still interviewing and will let me know either way, which I understand.

I have also been applying to office work, since I have about 4 years experience in that field. I'm a fast typist, have a lot of experience with faxes, photocopiers, arranging schedules, preparing documents, and dealing with really hectic busy days. The thing is, while I'm experienced here, I HATE office work. I just hate it.

I had a phone interview last week for an office that is right here in my town, and I just got a call to come in for another interview with them on Friday. This place offers a really good healthcare package and only a 4-day workweek, but they pay levels it out.

I'm looking to move out of my mom's house right now, and the only puzzle piece left is stable employment. I couldn't move out while I was temping because, as you can see, they can let me go whenever they're done with me.

So here's my dilemma:

The nanny job is 5 days a week, roughly 8-6, no health insurance or benefits, about 15 miles from my hometown (I am planning on moving but I might stay in this town because I love it). However, I'd be doing something that truly makes me happy and I know I would get up and go to work every morning excited about my job. I would have the freedom to take the kids for walks and to the park, and to do crafts and help out what seems like a really great family.

The office job is 4 days a week, roughly 8-5, excellent medical and dental coverage, in my hometown. I would have an extra day to work on my writing or pick up an extra part-time job, and would have fewer financial worries. But I would be doing something that sucks away at my soul and makes me kinda sad.

Both jobs pay about the same amount and I could get my own place with the paycheck. The latter pays more per hour, obviously. I'm really not sure what to do. I want to be happy more than I want a lot of money, but what if I get sick? What if I get a cavity? What if I'm injured somehow?

dclary · Mar 25, 2009

Generations:

Baby Boomers: Worked hard at jobs they hated so they'd have retirements they'd enjoy.

Gen X (me): Worked hard at jobs they enjoyed, because they never thought they'd live long enough to retire

Gen Y: Doesn't want to work at all.

KikiteNeko · Mar 25, 2009

dclary said:
Generations:

Baby Boomers: Worked hard at jobs they hated so they'd have retirements they'd enjoy.

Gen X (me): Worked hard at jobs they enjoyed, because they never thought they'd live long enough to retire

Gen Y: Doesn't want to work at all.

I want to work... Is it asking so much to want something I enjoy?

Namatu · Mar 25, 2009

I never cared about insurance until I needed it, and I didn't know I'd need it until I ended up in the emergency room. There's a lot to be said for insurance.

You may be able to purchase insurance of your own. I have no idea how good the coverage would be - or how expensive. If the job you will love will pay you enough to allow for the possibility of your purchasing insurance, or if you're young and healthy and willing to accept that you will have to pay big bucks if something happens health-wise, then go for it. It's a gamble. Some people can live without that invisible security blanket.

James81 · Mar 25, 2009

dclary said:
Generations:

Baby Boomers: Worked hard at jobs they hated so they'd have retirements they'd enjoy.

Gen X (me): Worked hard at jobs they enjoyed, because they never thought they'd live long enough to retire

Gen Y: Doesn't want to work at all.

Jesus.

*****

Well, as one of those office people who have a job that sucks away at my soul, I say that no benefits or no money is worth working a job that you truly hate down to your core.

You're probably young enough right now to take a job with no benefits and be relatively ok. Just keep in mind that that is STILL a huge risk. You never know when you'll come down with a terminable disease (like cancer). Having benefits should that happen will make a world of difference. At this stage in your life, the dentist bill isn't going to be that big a deal if you don't have dental. In fact, dental insurance (that you have to pay for) is a giant waste of money anyway (unless you have situation where you need to pay for braces or SERIOUS dental work). If you just go for cleanings and/or if you ever get a cavity, don't ever waste your money on dental insurance.

The REAL question is....what do you WANT to do with your life? Career-wise that is. You need to have some focus on THAT, moreso than on either of these jobs that are just going to pay the bills.

So long as you are working toward what you WANT to do with your life seriously and dilligently, it's not going to matter which of these jobs you take because it's only temporary.

BardSkye · Mar 25, 2009

Having both worked at jobs I hated and jobs I loved, I'd say go with what will make you happy. If you hate your job, it eats away at everything else. It may be only me, but working at a hated job I found it leached away my creativity.

KikiteNeko · Mar 25, 2009

BardSkye said:
Having both worked at jobs I hated and jobs I loved, I'd say go with what will make you happy. If you hate your job, it eats away at everything else. It may be only me, but working at a hated job I found it leached away my creativity.

That's another big thing. When I work in offices as a temp, it always leaves me drained and aggravated at the end of the day. But when I babysit the kiddos when their parents are away for the week, we go outside, we play games, they say interesting things and my writing flourishes. And I'm happy, and go to bed/wake up feeling happy and excited about what the new day will bring.

KikiteNeko · Mar 25, 2009

James81 said:
In fact, dental insurance (that you have to pay for) is a giant waste of money anyway (unless you have situation where you need to pay for braces or SERIOUS dental work). If you just go for cleanings and/or if you ever get a cavity, don't ever waste your money on dental insurance.

The REAL question is....what do you WANT to do with your life? Career-wise that is. You need to have some focus on THAT, moreso than on either of these jobs that are just going to pay the bills.

So long as you are working toward what you WANT to do with your life seriously and dilligently, it's not going to matter which of these jobs you take because it's only temporary.

What I want is to focus on my writing. It's come a long way but it could still be years, if ever, before I can consider it a paying career. So whatever I pick now, I may have to get comfortable there.

I don't need dental right now, that's true, but at some point I want to get those invisalign braces.

Williebee · Mar 25, 2009

Come on D-- that's not fair, hanging the whole generation's label on this one person. Of course, to be fair, you didn't really do that. You didn't say Tomo was Gen Y person. So....

I only have two questions for you, Tomo --

Is anybody else depending on you for their survival? (a child, an elderly parent, etc.)

Are you willing to accept the consequences of, whichever way you choose, something good and/or something bad is going to happen, and commit to picking yourself up and moving on either way?

If No, and Yes, do what you love. The rest may or may not work out (either way). But you'll have enjoyed getting up in the morning, in the meantime.

James81 · Mar 25, 2009

tomothecat said:
What I want is to focus on my writing. It's come a long way but it could still be years, if ever, before I can consider it a paying career. So whatever I pick now, I may have to get comfortable there.

What else would you do? I mean, you should definately consider pursuing your writing, but there are other things you could see yourself doing, no? Anything else that is more "stable" in the list of things that could make you happy?

Kitty Pryde · Mar 25, 2009

Another thing to think about is this: I freakin love kids, but dealing with ones that aren't yours can get very very very old. It's pretty easy to reach the point where you're longing for death if you have to watch that barney video one more time, or play one more round of candyland. kids are lovely and wonderful, but you gotta remember that it's work, it's not all rainbows and lollipops.

Just throwing my two cents in.

Wayne K · Mar 25, 2009

Good medical trumps a good salary. That's my opinion after slipping on the ice 13 months ago.

Clair Dickson · Mar 25, 2009

You have to decide what is more important to YOU. At this point in my life, I would HAVE to work a job I hated if it included benefits (right now Hubby has the bennies so I'm lucky.) I have health problems, but Hubby could probably get away without coverage since he's pretty healthy.

It is possible (though still kind of expensive) to get catastrophic health care for the really big emergencies, etc, while you pay the rest of it out of pocket. Something to consider.

I'm more of the "go with what you enjoy" sort of person. I think a job that's enjoyed is more important than money. If you hate 2/3 of your life (your job) then that's not healthy.

I don't judge anyone who does work a job they hate-- they often have different needs or priorities (money or bennies or it was a job they loved once upon a time.) But there are, to me, things more important than money.

Maybe places have low-cost clinics and some dentist's offices will let you pay over time after a procedure (b/c if you wait, things can get worse.) People do get buy without health insurance-- but it's a gamble, no doubt. My parents never had health insurance on us 4 kids. They got lucky.

Some people CAN work with other people's kids. Some people can't work with kids at all (hi, want to torture me, put me in a room with a bunch of kids!). Some people do it for 40 years and love every minute of it. Everyone is different.

Tomo,if you think that your career path is down the nanny route, then go for it. Someday, you might think about a preschool or day care position as some of these offer benefits. (Like all jobs, some employers are better than others.) But we all start some where.

TerzaRima · Mar 25, 2009

dealing with ones that aren't yours can get very very very old

Yes. Yes. Also, babysitting jobs can get weird. If the mom has any guilt about you being there instead of her, she can be impossible to please. Been there.

Benefits are gold. I'd take the office job and volunteeer for a kids' organization on the weekend, like Big Sisters, to nurture that part of you.

DeleyanLee · Mar 25, 2009

I've done the office temp gig. It such dirty duck butt big time. However, having a permanent office job is very little like the temp stuff. With temping, there's always this wall between you and them--you can leave at any moment, so there's no big investment in you. And most temps don't invest (particuarly emotionally) in a temp job. It's self-preservation. Nothing wrong with it. It's the way to survive with your sanity somewhat intact.

While I've never been a nanny, I've heard stories about how parents tend to lean on them too much and call them in to do OT that sometimes doesn't get paid for. Especially if they're live-in nannies. Remember: Nanny isn't not Babysitter. Nanny implies a whole pile more responsibility and much longer hours. You might love kids, but do you really want to raise them to their parents' wishes and not your own? Have you asked the questions to see if your childrearing views match theirs enough? Sorry, I just see a world of frustration building there, especially if you come to really care about those kids.

Just seems to me that there's more to consider in the long run.

Silver King · Mar 25, 2009

I'd take the nanny job in a second. If you don't, you'll be even more miserable sitting behind that desk and dreaming about the opportunity you've let slip by. It wouldn't be fair to you, nor to your co-workers and employers, if you merely showed up for work and hated every moment you spent there.

Ol' Fashioned Girl · Mar 25, 2009

I wouldn't have the nanny job on a platinum platter encrusted with diamonds.

BUT, if I did take the nanny job, I'd be sure I had some kind of liability policy to cover me in case one of the little angels got injured on my watch and the parents decided to sue me.

Yeah... I work in the insurance industry so I know what I'm talkin' about here.

WendyNYC · Mar 25, 2009

Is the nanny job on or off the books? If it's no insurance + off the books, I wouldn't take it. On? Maybe give it a try to see how you like it. The problem with nanny jobs is there is no room for growth. You'll hit a ceiling with raises, then have to start over with someone else eventually, often at the salary where you first started.

As for moving on to a day care--workers there usually earn less than nannies (at least that's the way often it is here.)

KikiteNeko · Mar 25, 2009

WendyNYC said:
Is the nanny job on or off the books?

It's on. The parents are both attorneys and had legal/tax specifications.

WendyNYC · Mar 25, 2009

I'd give it a shot, in that case. It doesn't have to be forever. The medical insurance issue is a huge risk, but it sounds like you are far more excited about nannying than office work.

Unique · Mar 26, 2009

tomo -

i love you and wish you the best.

My first piece of advice would be to look at the big picture.

Expand your view a little bit and don't concentrate on the 'now' except as it concerns your immediate needs. Both jobs would get you 'the now'.

Do you plan to stay in your hometown? Or are you open to the idea of relocating?

The office job may give you more social contacts - in all sorts of unexpected ways. One never knows who they will meet. Of course, this depends upon the type of business, etc.

Working with children would be fulfilling but there is no progression there. This job would tend to isolate you even further.

My ultimate advice would be to think about what it really is you want out of life at a deeper level. Besides just paying the bills, which one would put you on your path, keep you on your path, or be liable to sidetrack you.

Wishing you the best. My offer still stands.
always -
Unique

wordmonkey · Mar 26, 2009

There's a world of difference between babysitting and being a de facto parent. That you get to clock off at six does nothing to detract from what you've been constantly doing since eight that morning. I don't think this will be all sunshine and buttercups.

I've done the soul destroying job... night shift as well which just makes it all even suckier. And I used that as a really good motivator to write. Then I lost the sucky job, wife went out to work and I stayed home with the kids. I wondered what hit me. And I got no writing done a long while.

Now granted, you could take the attitude that they are MY kids and obviously I am gonna invest extra time and effort in them. But if you go in to a job like a nanny with the attitude that "I can slack off 'cos they aren't MY kids" (and I am NOT saying this would be your attitude.) then really, is that best for the kid?

Raising kids, you tend to forget the bad stuff. But its there... in spades.

And ultimately, taking the office job that pays the same with benefits, less hours and less responsibility, doesn't mean you have to stop looking for a better position.

quickWit · Mar 26, 2009

There's also the difference in responsibility to consider, Tomo. There's a world of difference between managing someone's calendar and managing someone's children. I'm sure you're aware of this, of course, but make sure you factor that into your decision, as it will not only impact you, but whomever hires you as well.

Best of luck in whatever you choose.

Ken · Mar 26, 2009

the nanny job might work out very well,
if the kids are well-behaved,
allowing you to plant them in front of the tv,
while you sit at a desk nearby and write

Silver King · Mar 26, 2009

At tomo's age (early twenties, I think), she has the rest of her life to work at crappy jobs that will leave her emotionally and spiritually bankrupt. The nanny gig sounds like it would offer her a more rewarding challenge, which even in the short term is preferable to pursuing work she already knows will be less than satisfying.

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